nullmoon

D'erlanger are pretty dope

I coloured my hair and wore glasses today. Am I K-Pop ready yet? XD 

I'm attracted to my therapist. Brilliant XD 

I've wanted to ditch Facebook countless times but I use it to access so many sites that I can't make the leap.

I miss MySpace. I loved cramming a song of my choosing into someone's eardrums. 

From experience, people get real pissy when they find out. If they're so bothered, why do I never hear from them?! I think people just want to keep updated on your life. 

I honestly have around 30 friends on there, and even then it's slightly bloated with family members and people I can't quite get rid of yet. 

Get a new account and ghost the old one XD 

1 minute ago, chocobuzz said:

I think kids are kinda cute and funny, and I don't have anything against them. But I don't want to have any myself, because I know I'll never be mentally healthy and stable anough to be able to give them a good and safe childhood. I myself grew up in a mentally ill family, and it damaged me permanently, and I don't want to make any innocent child experience anything like that.

That sucks I guess at the end of the day it's making the decision that will be best for your own peace of mind. You can still be an awesome uncle/aunt/both?!

@Gesu There was so far too many reactions I had to this so I settled on laughter You raise a lot of good points though and I can also echo the annoyance relating to parents/friends/strangers being weirdly invested in the output of your genitals. It's your body and your future. It's also the 21st century and staying at home to cook and clean and raise kids is, hold on to your hats, not the inherent destiny of all womankind. 

People need to stop projecting their own fears and regrets onto others. 

Also, I found out an ex of mine was pregnant a few months after we split up. I have never felt so much fear in all my life. I essentially thought my life was over. Thank Jebus it wasn't mine. I don't need my life to be Jeremy Kyle's wet dream. 

First CBT session is tomorrow...fun!

Meds aren't doing anything so hopefully this can help rewire my brain XD 

Kids seem to really grind my gears. I'm reluctant to have them for their benefit as well as mine. I don't think they'll be too pleased about me chokeslamming them out of exasperation. 

Getting into a rebound relationship. I didn't realise it at the time but soon found out that I still loved my ex. I obviously told this to my then gf...in her room (not neutral ground. What a noob). Received a lot of hate messages, sorry messages, angry messages, I love you messages. Proclaimed my love to my ex (who had deeply hurt me previously, I might add). Turns out she had a new bf. 

This situation was a big mistake. This is why I have not written in full sentences like a grown up. Learn from my errors! XD 

I'm a little late to the party but yeah, been there, done that so I can totally sympathise with how you're feeling/felt (hopefully things are a little less poop now!). 

Love is weird and I can't even begin to explain it. My hope is that you find that special someone who makes you feel how you feel about Mr. Dreamboat (that's his name now). It's most likely the case where you haven't found anyone new who ticks all the boxes in the same way he did. Don't feel guilty for not feeling a certain way about potential suitors; there's no point forcing yourself into relationships just to make others happy. 

HOWEVER don't create unreasonable expectations as that will mean you'll (un)knowingly push away any real chances of love. It's impossible for a person to emulate another and if you gently persuade them that way, they won't exactly be themselves anymore. 

In my wizened state I have realised that I fall in and out of love far too easily...so clearly I don't have a real concept of what true love is. However I think I have ample time and space to work things out before heading into the fray again. 

If you've made it this far, I'm sorry. I have no idea what I'm talking about XD TL;DR - Life and love is confusing. Focus on the here and now, not theoretical relationships or theoretical sexy times. As painful as it is, the people you/me/we're all thinking about probably don't even remember us. Plushies cure everything. Buy a plushie. Buy more plushies. 

I bought a jumper. It's huge. We're friends now. 

36 minutes ago, Gesu said:

Listen, I was in your situation about a year or so ago, so you know what I did? For the first time in those people's lives (and possibly mine), I told them "no". I told them I couldn't keep mollycoddling them if they were only prepared to spend time with me solely for my pity and my money (I'm not super rich or anything, but I had more money than them and they seemed to like that 🙄 granted, I always offered to buy them things so it was half my own damn fault, but I digress), and I told them I needed space from them until they actually got help for their problems instead of just looking to me for the magic answer to every question they could possibly pose. They broke down in tears and threatened to hurt themselves, and that was when I knew they never gave a shite about me for me.

 

I know it's not easy, but I want you to tell them "no" for once. Don't be super harsh about it, but be forthright and honest with your feelings because they'll never know how you really feel about all this if you don't tell them. If they react like my "friends" did, chuck 'em away. What they did was blackmail and it wasn't something to be blamed on a mental illness as they claimed; it was just clinginess and manipulation. If they understand, however, and agree to give you some space or whatever it is you want from them, then hopefully you should be able to meet somewhere in the middle with them.

 

All the best x

Thank you so much for the advice I know I need to toughen up and start putting myself first for a change. Hopefully the next time an opportunity comes up, I can stand up for myself x

People take advantage of my good nature* and inability to say no. It really pisses me off that they expect me to do everything for them with no thanks in return, and it really pisses me off that I can't decline someone who needs help. This includes family and friends.

I'm practically hand-holding my brother through the house buying process without so much as a 'thx lol'. 

No wonder I'm constantly seeking approval from others and feeling isolated and anxious. Ugh

*self-purported obviously XD 

I'm selling Dum Spiro Spero and The Unraveling if you're interested

Currently watching Seven Deadly Sins on Netflix and I'm so conflicted. The story, music, and action are all awesome but the constant ecchi is SO offputting. I'm up for butts and boobs but come on =.=

FYI this is totally me. 

Bork? 

1 hour ago, ghost said:

You can double click the image to adjust the dimensions. But I for one welcome nose pics.

(yay! It works!) 

55 minutes ago, Gesu said:

Upload your image to an image hosting website (Imgur is probably your best bet), then copy the BBCode (on Imgur, there should be a dropdown arrow thingy on the image with the code there) and paste the link directly into the text box and the image should appear in your post. I'd preview just to make sure though. Also, don't worry about linking it; you can just post the link directly and it should work.

Thank you! What about sizing? I don't want to scare people with an extreme close up of my nose or something XD 

Such a noob, but how is everyone uploading pics here?!?! 

I'd like to know how to even speak with women XD I've spent that long in relationships and yet I get so nervous and bashful talking to chicks ^^"

Probably a bit old but just started watching Easy on Netflix. It's so addictive and heartwarming. Kind of like Black Mirror's Hang The DJ in terms of feel good factor. It's sad at times but I feel I can relate to it better because of that. 

Although I will say that seeing Orlando Bloom in a threesome for rather extended scenes was a bit creepy XD 

Shortest: 1 month (ish?) 

Longest: 6 years...wow, where does the time go?! 

Ugh. Recently single and it's weird. I've been in long term relationships for over 10 years now and this is the first time I'm having a breather and well...I don't know how to single. Then again based on my track record I don't know how to be a keeper either 😂

I need to focus on myself for a while as I keep giving my all in relationships and just tiring myself out emotionally. I've really neglected myself for a long time. I'm finally moving out of the family home soon though (fingers crossed!) so I think having my own space and my own time should really help. 

However I crave that attention already so I'm inadvertently checking out the ladies, and due to the way I am I feel guilty and pervy for it. On the one hand I want to be with someone, on the other I think I should just have fun...and yet the latter isn't me at all. SO MUCH INTERNAL CONFLICT! 

(brb gotta learn to function on my own XD) 

Dream last night involved the same ex sitting next to me and I apologised for how things ended etc. 

In the same dream I made friends with otters in my back garden XD