CAT5

It's both hilarious and awesome

@Gesu - That's one of the major reasons, but I wouldn't say it's the only one. The rabbit hole actually goes pretty deep, and there's a bit too much for me to try and explain here. But essentially, you're dealing with a group who've been radically disconnected from their heritage and way of life. Ppl don't realize that so-called African Americans were enslaved in the U.S. longer than we've been "free", and we have no idea who we are or where we come from (Saying "Africa" doesn't help, because Africa is just a continent - a huge one - with tons of countries and cultures, etc) plus, to top it all off, this country has never given a damn about us. So you're talking about a people with lots of deeply ingrained trauma that's gone unaddressed and unhealed for generations.So dysfunction abounds. It's honestly a clusterfuck. In regards to the rest of your post - i'm not really qualified to offer any insight there. But personally speaking , I've come to think that sex before marriage is a bad idea. Obviously, that's not a popular view, and certainly not one supported by society at large. Heck, It's actually one that I just recently began to understand myself. So if I could say anything, I'd say just try to make the best possible decisions you can. @Komorebi oh wow, all praises. I'm glad I could inspire a bit of hope. But in all honesty, i didn't care about any of this stuff a few years ago, and i thought and behaved like most people: "do whatever makes you feel good/happy"...until I realized how dangerous and destructive that doctrine is. Now i'm just trying to do better. @ghost - You're right. It's almost scary how easy it is to get sex these days, especially with how prevalent thot culture is. All it takes is a DM or the right glance in public. So there's plenty of that available, but i think because of all the easy access, the quality of potential partners has declined because being a person of some quality is no longer required to get laid - generally speaking. But in spite of the seemingly desolate playing field, there's always hope. You have to think, if you feel the way you do about relationships, there is no doubt other people out there who feel the same way. You'll be surprised. I praise The Most High that the woman i'm currently dating subscribes to the same beliefs that I do - it makes a whole world of difference!

Oh, definitely, sis. It's perfectly possible to separate the two. In fact, it's pretty easy. Plenty of people do it, and I've done it in the past too. But I just don't think it's a good idea to separate the two. And just because plenty of people do it and things seem fine on the outside, that doesn't necessarily make it functional. Like, let's look at it. What's the end goal of lust? To basically "get off", to "bust a nut", to "feel good",right? Ok. Well then what's love? We could say that it's investing in someone else as you would yourself. Caring for someone else as you would yourself. Doing right by someone else regardless of how you feel. I think those are pretty sound definitions. So you can imagine if you remove love from sex and you simply engage in it for lust's sake, well then you open up the door to all manner of dysfunction. Because if you're operating under lust, then feeling good becomes your highest priority. There's nothing wrong with feeling good, but it's immature and irresponsible to treat sex as if it isn't connected to all of those other things, especially love. If you want a prime example of what happens on a large scale when love is removed from the act of sex, all you have to do is examine the so-called black community here in the United States. Our culture has become one that promotes and pedastalizes promiscuity and whoredom, and our family structures have been utterly destroyed because of it. In 1960, something like 22% of black children were raised in single parent families - now OVER 70% of black children are raised in single parents families. That's fuckin crazy. And don't even get me started on the abortion stats. Why is all of that that relevant tho? Because family is essentially the building block of society itself - so if the family is destroyed, well then so is the broader community. Likewise the individual is also impaired because they're raised in these destroyed families and further effected by these destroyed communities. When it comes to human relations, nothing ever truly happens in a vacuum - and so you can begin to see the far-reaching effects that the decisions of just one individual can have - for better or worse. So yeah, I think divorcing "love" from sex is a horrible idea, because I've seen and experienced the catastrophic effects that it's reaped upon the lives of many people. I've seen what it does to people when they make "feeling good" their highest priority - consequences become completely irrelevant, or an afterthought at best. For instance, I have five nieces and nephews who haven't seen their father in over a year simply because their mother decided she wanted to "live her best life" and chase strange dick. And this was an instance where both the children and the mother were properly being cared and provided for - hell, the kids wanted stay with their father. So just like that - BOOM! instant trauma inflicted upon 5 children and perfectly sanctioned by the U.S. Government. Likewise, I know plenty of single mothers who were impregnated by irresponsible men that decided they were worth busting a nut in, but not sticking around and caring for. There was no love present in any of these decisions. Here are some staggeringly tragic stats on the effects of fatherlessness if you're curious as to why this is such a big deal. All of the heartache, the pain, and the misery caused by reckless, impulsive, lust-based sexual decisions could simply be avoided it people knew how to integrate sex into their life in a functional manner that doesn't have these resoundingly negative effects. Sadly, we don't know how to do that. And society is quick to tell you "do whatever makes you happy/feel good", but they don't tell you all the pain and misery that you bring upon yourself and others when you make that your highest priority/value. So anyways, I hope this explains my stance on it. Obviously, ppl are free to do whatever they want, but I think going about sex like that is a bad idea.

OMG, ahaha!!! I appreciate the sentiment, but I'm far from a sage. I'm actually realizing how much of a bumbling fuckin' idiot I am (and have been) , and I'm just trying to figure shit out just like you. Any wisdom I may be able to share certainly does not come from me, but i'm grateful that I could at least serve as a vessel for it, so to speak. ohhhh. I see. Yeah, I definitely feel you on this. It seems to me like your heart/intentions are in one place, but your actions are conveying something else. Like, you're acting like you're in a relationship, yet a relationship with her isn't what you truly want...so yeah, that's bound to cause some confusion. Cuz you're sending two opposing signals at once. Honestly, and I might be seen as ultra-conservative, intense, or even crazy for thinking this way, but who cares..this is why I don't really see the function of arrangements that don't lead to anything permanent...like, otherwise it's just gonna be a waste of time and one or both parties are bound to get hurt in some way. But I also know that shit happens and we often find ourselves in unfavorable situations. I mean, it's not like we're all taught how to properly approach relationships growing up (hell, most of just do what we've seen from other ppl). If that were the case, professions like "relationship experts/coaches wouldn't exist So anyways, you've found yourself in a situation, and I think the best thing to do is to just be truthful and honest - but of course you want to do it in a tactful and considerate manner. This also just shows you that you have a heart, man. In a world where it's easy to be cold, callous, and inconsiderate - actually having a heart is a brave thing. It takes real strength. And ain't nothing beta about that! nah, you're good. You're on topic and this is what this thread is for! Random, but It's funny because you actually remind me of myself a bit. As bold as I may come off sometimes, I'm actually super agreeable too. I mean, I've learned to be more assertive over the years, but my default nature is definitely more on the passive side.

Bruh, Imma keep it real with you. Cuz most ppl simply ain't gonna tell you this shit. You feel guilty for a reason. That girl developed feelings for a reason. You're not oversensitive. And there's nothing wrong with you. If anything, you're just sensible. Fuck what this world tries to tell you about having "friends with benefits" and "casual" sex. You know why that girl developed feelings? Cuz ain't shit casual about having a WHOLE 'nother human being inside of you! Fuckin' a chick and expecting her not to catch feelings is like putting your hand in a fire and expecting not to get burnt. It's that inane. Bruh, i mean...sex is a POWERFUL force - it's literally the reason why we're all even here in the first place. It's THAT central to our very existence...and depending on how you approach it, it can either be destructive or regenerative....functional or dysfunctional...good or bad. And from what I can tell, when you take something as foundational and deeply ingrained in our existence as sex and try to detach it from emotion, from love, from responsibility, from respect, from family, from children....and you basically turn it into a cheap drug, well then...you're practically inviting dysfunction at that point. Now obviously, I would not presume to give you advice on this issue, and you have the free will to do whatever you want, but do keep in mind that freedom of choice does not equal freedom from consequences, and your own experience testifies to that. But anyways, bruh...don't get down about that shit. If you can, just learn from it and keep it movin'. I hope all goes well for you from here on out!

"My absurdly high IQ, essentially, prevents me from enjoying music as the commonfolk do, so I choose rather to pontificate on the inadequacies of the prevailing tastes in the community and rationalize my own empirically superior preferences (by which I was informed were empirically superior by other empirically superior individuals via the most prestigious of subreddits), thereby falsely elevating my own sense of self-worth and triumphantly masking my insecurities in my own music taste." also "Chorus deficits"

Not sure what to expect, but hell, it's HIZUMI, and I've always fucked with Defspiral, so shit, i'm wit it.

Enjoying the new album so far.

Just watched the finale, and....yeahhh...

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Imma give the album an obligatory listen, but I can't say the samples did much for me.

Everyone's debating pro-choice and pro-life, but it seems like not many people are willing to discuss all of the of issues that lead up to abortion in the first place.

I wanna say late 2004 with Rentrer En Soi. Had no idea what VK was at the time, nor had I even seen the band, but I really enjoyed their music. I've always been a super casual VK fan tho, and have found myself largely drawn to other areas of J-rock and Japanese music in general! (also i'm sure a thread like this exists already, but no time to look for it atm)

One of Tobe's sillier, more cutesy songs...my girl got this shit stuck in my head

That shit sounds FYE!