The Virginity Topic

[Lestat 2167]

I'd like to create a thread for this 'phenomenon', if it's accepted, of course (I think it is). I have opened up to the topic more often lately and it is quite easy for me to talk about, for some reason. I wonder if there are other people here who consider themselves out of the age range for when it would be considered normal to lose one's virginity (17 is the average age, by the way). Please share your stories, points of view, religious reasons or perhaps fears!

 

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I'm almost 23 and still a virgin. Not so 'old' for it to be considered truly strange, but I do feel some sort of peer pressure regarding sexual relationships coming from my environment. I've dated a few guys around my age but I suppose that around this age, sex comes before romance, because none of them engaged in any romantical activities with me (going out on dates, having a bite to eat, or anything else that could be considered fun, or activities that would allow two persons to get to know each other better), and they left me because I did not want to engage in sexual activities after two weeks of seeing them. It was the only thing they talked about, quite frankly. When would I be ready, how I would feel about having sex with them to get to know them better, et cetera. They wouldn't ever let the topic rest and appeared to be solely focused on the first time we'd be having sex. Apparently in this age it is easier to discover romance through sex, than to discover sex through romance. I do not know if this makes me old-fashioned, but I do feel like the odd one out there.

 

It's not quite often that I entertain in fantasies about having a sexual relationship with an actual person. I haven't ever felt sexually attracted to someone who I have dated as I personally consider this as something that needs to grow over time. Sometimes it makes me feel dirty to think about it, as in that I don't like the idea of sharing my body with someone else before I truly know how to trust them and that I am certain I will want to spend the rest of my life with them.

[lichtlune 915]

I don't know what to add but to say I'm 22 also and in the same situation. I don't really get out much or meet anyone so it's pretty much impossible that I would get that close to someone. I can't even make a friend let alone any of that. It would be nice to meet someone but I feel as if most girls my age already have long term partners by now. I think it's mostly true that the good ones are taken. Also I'm still kind of a child in the way that I live so I don't think any girl would date someone like me. I don't have a job, car, and I live with my parents still. I don't see this changing anytime soon.

[vanivani 558]

。。。。

Edited December 4, 2016 by vanivani

[emmny 4139]

yeah, my non-virgin ass is here to tell y'all that fuck guys/girls who rush you

your choice to stay a virgin for however long you feel fit is totally ok and its your decision in the end, not society or your friends' decision to make. virgin/slut shaming is fucking silly, no one is in charge of your body and mind except you. you'll eventually find someone who will respect you and your opinions of sex/love, fuck the guys that leave after two weeks because sex is the only thing on their mind.

[blackdoll 907]

As a doll, the people i want are unattainable, and i don't feel the need to either cause people repel me. But this was this one time for bae, i put my self out there and got turn down. So yeah sex dead. I want to try again with bae but it might be interpreted as sexual harassment so idk.

 

I'd would go for it if it came to me in the right way like Lycaon did, but totally cool with dying this way. 

 

lust is a bitch though  

[eiheartx 1310]

No shame for not being ready before the """limit age"""!! Screw the limit age seriously, ugh. it's not a race ffs!!!
So, if a guy doesn't want to spent more than 2 weeks with you because there is no sex: don't bother! seriously don't. And don't even think it's your fault or whatever: it's not!
After all, it's your body, your decisions. You can do whatever you want with it, and don't let others putting pressure you.

(I had bad experiences when entering in college, when at only 15 yo everything in my class was screaming: "WHO IS STILL A VIRGIN??? *hysterical laughs*" well I was, and at the time I was almost ashamed of myself with these sort of comments, I felt like I wasn't normal -.-). I lost it before reaching my 21's so I'm not concerned by this thread, but like @sairensu I wanted to say something.
So, don't let those kind of nuisances hurting you in any way.
 

[plastic_rainbow 2162]

.....

Edited July 31, 2019 by plastic_rainbow

[Flame-X 441]

29 year old virgin here!

[blackdoll 907]

Also great inspiration for dirty lyrics

[Nagisa 131]

I am 23 and a virgin, but I am a guy so I guess that is normal. I have never dated anyone before and don't plan on doing it anytime soon. I think it is overrated and I have a ton of things I would like to do before even considering it. Just hanging out with friends is already great.

[Guest]

QUite an interesting topic!

[The Moon 989]

I have never committed genital crime - and when I do, it will be with the Unending Great One: our love will send the Earth into its inevitable grave. My crotch is full of horrors.

[lichtlune 915]

What's worse is seeing all the hot cosplay babes on Facebook and knowing they might as well be an anime character because they are just as distant and completely unattainable. But this goes with most mildly interesting or attractive women too. Also I live In Texas and have little interest in mostly anyone here. But that feeling is mutual so I'll just have to accept that love is all fantasy and will never happen to me. I'm unworthy of it.

Edited May 31, 2016 by lichtlune

[orange~ 387]

6 hours ago, lichtlune said:

What's worse is seeing all the hot cosplay babes on Facebook and knowing they might as well be an anime character because they are just as distant and completely unattainable. But this goes with most mildly interesting or attractive women too. Also I live In Texas and have little interest in mostly anyone here. But that feeling is mutual so I'll just have to accept that love is all fantasy and will never happen to me. I'm unworthy of it.

 

I'm not really core audience of this topic, but I can relate to how many of you feel here. Hearing this "unworthy" part especially hurts. When still younger, I used to feel the same. I didn't have any friends because I felt I had nothing to give to absolutely anyone, let alone have a love life of any kind. This went on until I too kinda gave up on anything of that nature.

 

The big change for me was a long trip abroad where I had no connections to any people and I could start fresh with everyone. I think this reshaped my identity quite a bit. Also going on a long trip forces you to, you know, get out and actually meet some people.

Edited May 31, 2016 by orange~

[chemicalpictures 1888]

You guys and gals should not worry about sex. Not gonna lie, it is good. Even casual sex is good. But you know what's really good? having an emotional attachment to the person you are having relations with. No thing comes even near that. Being in love and having this kind of relation is the best thing ever, and it's a necessary part of the human experience.

 

What I'm trying to say is that you can take all the time you want, but do not let yourself get away from experiencing human relations in general. Love is the best thing out there, I know sometimes it's hard to open up to someone, sometimes being in love SUCKS, you get hurt and promise never doing that again, but that's all part of life. Try again, don't shut yourself in, there are tons of really great people around for you to know and enjoy their company and everything else.

[Laris 4]

I guess if only having done foreplay counts a being a virgin... I have never met a person who was "worth it". or at least, not where it was mutual. 18 here so I guess it's not at all a socially `weird` age but it is defenitely on my mind sometimes

[YuyoDrift 1540]

As much as I'd like to reply to everyone here, I'll just stick to the overall topic.

 

You guys aren't missing much. Sex imo is really simple if you are not in a relationship with the other person. I get the same satisfaction with my hand lol. It's the emotional experience that matters really.

I feel that I only enjoy sex as a single person, more so because of the excitement in getting to meet someone new, try my hand at mingling, and the temporary fulfillment of getting that #/sex/date. That's why most consider it a game. It loses its pizzazz though with age, and you value companionship more.

 

I was around 21 when I had my first relationship and sexual partner. Really no big deal, as I was (still am) super picky about who I wanted to have around me, and was willing to wait until it just happened naturally. This person I met fit the bill nicely. So take as long as you need to. It will be memorable to you if you choose to, but don't expect anything extravagant lol.

 

On the other hand, I know someone who is 25, female, and still a virgin. She loses interest in people really quick, and men (who I sometimes source) find her very intimidating due to her mood swings, and her bombarding them with questions that should probably span out in to multiple dates, and most notably, she refuses to be touched. I am with her on that point because I personally never touch my dates until after a first kiss. She rarely get dates otherwise.

She is very pretty, and has a body to boot, so she may have some underlying issues that are preventing her from forming relationships with people. I don't want to dig too deep, or else I feel I'd lose her trust or offend her where I'd look like the bad guy.

I do feel for her though, as it's becoming apparent that no sexual activity is starting to cloud her judgment. She gets angry a lot, and takes it out on her friends, and her views on men are negative which gives her the idea that she is better off alone. All she knows is from what she's seen/read/heard on TV/Internet/Friends, so it's very twisted.  Recently she's admitted to me that she watches porn daily, and masturbates more than she should to relieve her stress (better than smoking I guess), but its not healthy mentally to be doing that excessively (I've gone through it). The thing that bugs me is that she does not go out, and declines invites out, so her opinions on this topic hold no weight, since she lacks experience. I've asked her out a couple times, but she declines due to the fact that one of my short term exes is her friend, and she doesn't want to complicate things.

 

I can understand if she's an introvert, but she's giving off the vibe that she's punishing herself for other people's mistakes in her upbringing.

Edited June 6, 2016 by YuyoDrift

[Scarlet Obsidian 383]

22yo virgin here and really don't care. It's the people around me that have always put some kind of pressure on me, like "why don't you have a gf??" "Isn't it time you got one??" and such...Anyways, I never listened to them and went on with my opinion, which is: it will come when it's time. There's no need to rush anything! I never even dated anyone seriously or to get to that point LOL 

[len 67]

Sometimes I feel I'm being pressured but even though I can find both man and woman beautiful I never felt sexually attracted to anyone before. I also don't feel this need to be in a relationship that people seem to have either, I suppose I'm very picky. It's really bothersome how people can be forceful or think there's something wrong with you.

I forgot to say I have crushes though, I find them cute but that's it.

Edited January 16, 2017 by len

[Zalemu 236]

I'm a 25, almost 26-year-old kissless virgin who hasn't done the deed because, like some people above, I don't meet people enough to get that close to them. Despite having sexual desires I don't think I can be that intimate with someone, it's kind of a scary thought.  If I did get that close to someone, I probably wouldn't have sex because I feel like I'm not worthy of it. Virgin-shaming used to bother me but nowadays I just don't care.

[MaikoMizu 167]

I'm 20 and I'm a virgin. I will admit, my sex drive is high to want to have it at least once but I don't want my first time to be a nightmare or awful/don't want to regret it. A lot of older adults have told me that losing your virginity can be a "very special" event with the right person. So many people have told me, "I wish I would have waited and not waisted it on _x_".

I will also admit that recently, I met a person and she's a good "friend" and all but my friends know about her and 50 tell me to meet her and have sex but the other 50 say stay away if the feelings aren't "true", which I believe they're not. 

[Hakari 282]

Wow I am surprised with the wisdom on this thread. Awesome MH way to show up. As a male I lost my virginity when I was 20. It was from a fling and I regret it deeply. 5 years later I am married and love my wife more than anything. I wish that I had waited for her, I wish that sex was a special thing between just us.

 

My advice would be don't go rushing into it. And to be honest, the first time wont last that long and be a little bit of a let down (at least for us guys anyway). It's just not that worth it.

[YuyoDrift 1540]

On 1/19/2017 at 8:01 AM, Hakari said:

My advice would be don't go rushing into it. And to be honest, the first time wont last that long and be a little bit of a let down (at least for us guys anyway). It's just not that worth it.

 

I second this advice.

Although hormones and that vulnerability of "love" associated with it are really hard to fight for some, it is still possible.

 

@HakariI wish I was here when you posted this.

I would have told you that many people, in fact, feel that the first time they have sex with a stranger just feels awkward.

I lol'ed when you said that men don't last long the first time, and it's quite a letdown (insert the "don't care, still snu snu'd" here), because it was actually the opposite for me.

Still awkward though.

 

Yet, I don't regret it.

Sure it would have been nice if I could still hold on to that "purity", but believe me, it makes a great corny story to tell others, who you know had similar experiences.

You just have to look at it from a positive light.

 

So jealous you found someone to keep.

[Pretsy 1343]

On 19.1.2017 at 4:01 PM, Hakari said:

Wow I am surprised with the wisdom on this thread. Awesome MH way to show up. As a male I lost my virginity when I was 20. It was from a fling and I regret it deeply. 5 years later I am married and love my wife more than anything. I wish that I had waited for her, I wish that sex was a special thing between just us.

 

My advice would be don't go rushing into it. And to be honest, the first time wont last that long and be a little bit of a let down (at least for us guys anyway). It's just not that worth it.

Literally this for the first part of your comment (sadly enough I didn't bother to initiate newer relationships after "the first fling" and failed relationship  due to my bad sentiments on "leaving every fun aspect of your self-focused life behind on a whim", i.e. being too wary of starting anything new after fuckups so to speak)

 

Folks in this thread - as stated above, don't rush with your intimate life/relationships etc. .

There's no such thing as "the caste of early cherry-popped birds" or whatever these "Chads" tell you nowadays. I honestly could have "turned a better leaf" in my life if it wasn't for this idiocy of social pressure and consequent "doom and gloom" I am experiencing even today as we speak.

 

Give it some time but at the same time, give yourselves a chance to build "the better self" your future partners would cherish as much as you would cherish them - without someone's pressuring/convincing effort.

[Himeaimichu 1535]

I'm not telling my age, but I'm going to be a Senior next August, and the only thing keeping me from not being a virgin is the fact I am single AF. I don't believe one has to lose their virginity for any sort of "Acceptance" in this world. I think sex is a quite beautiful thing (In more ways than one xD. I'm kidding) that is the utmost form of affection and should be reserved for those you keep closest. That's why if I am to have a friend with benefits, I'm making sure that person is my best friend, and that I can completely trust her. There is honestly nothing keeping from being virgin in a sense though, except for the fact I'm single and have never even had my first kiss on the lips. xD

I want to experience my first time though, for the simple experience of it. The first time I'll be able to explore my fetishes (Trust me, there are ton of them), being able to feel the passion between me and my partner. I honestly want it to be special, and not like "Oh yeah, I lost my virginity at a party while drunk.". I don't want it to be a regrettable experience. 

So maybe I will have to wait until I'm in a place where I have more options, but hopefully it'll be worth the wait.