ah nah i didn't take it that way that you meant that. It was just in reference to what you quoted. But this applies to more than just relationships. Granted it's tough to try and be the support for someone who is less confident... but they have their mind made up that they aren't good enough already, so sometimes people say things like "Maybe if you smiled more, maybe if you cared more, maybe if you loved yourself more..." I don't think it's a matter of people who dislike themselves don't deserve to be loved because they are.... but from personal experience... I think when you're so focused on yourself not being perfect you become more obsessed with the fact that you can't love yourself and you forget to LET or SEE other people love you. It's a toxic black tar that fills your veins and really blinds you from anything outside your own mind.
It's hard though, to get out of that mode where you can't stand to look at yourself, you don't care if you sleep until the sun goes back down, you either hate food or love it way too much (and the outcome isn't very effective to your mood either), you feel exhausted just from talking to people so you make excuses to avoid seeing them, you get headaches literally from thinking too much and picking apart each flaw you have physically and mentally which creates a trail of thoughts reflecting on past life decisions and how you won't be able to change things. It's hard to get out of that mode where over active thinking is why you can't sleep at night and when you do sleep it's because you've been up for more than 48 hours. It's hard to find a reason to start caring about things that don't seem to matter anymore because they don't matter because they failed to get you to where you wanted to be and you're too tired to step outside and try something new today because life is a little more understandable and comfortable inside the walls you build up to block out the world.
There's that pretty cliche saying, "You can't love anyone until you love yourself."
This is true. It doesn't mean you have to be enthusiastic to the point that your ego is over 9000, no. It just means that you need to care about yourself enough to trust, compromise, understand, need, want, give, take... and most of all you need to be able to be selfish sometimes. How CAN you feel these things if you're too busy shutting the world out?
Of course everyone deserves to be loved, but not everyone lets themselves be loved.
EDIT: This post got way deeper than I originally planned, and I apologize. I've personally found someone very patient with me (even during my breakdowns) and even though he doesn't know it.... has helped me accept myself in many ways. No we're not together so yes I'm still allowed to post in the singles thread D<