Single People Thread

[violetchain 912]

I've never been in a relationship either. I like having a lot of alone time, and I have some very good friends who are also eternally single, so I'm not depressed about it or anything, but I do wonder what I've been missing out on sometimes.

 

It's tough to even imagine dating though, since I'm super shy, oblivious, and I work 99% from home, so I basically never meet anyone new. Even when I go out to events or take classes, almost all of the people I feel comfortable talking to are either female, double my age or in a relationship, so I doubt I'm going to have much luck unless I get a more social job or take up some less stereotypically feminine hobbies. (I took classes on sewing and botanical watercolour painting, so in hindsight, I guess I shouldn't have been surprised that the students were almost all middle-aged women. )

 

Oh well, I think I'm probably still too spoiled to date someone right now anyway. I feel like I've grown up a bit since moving to the city, so maybe next year I'll feel a bit more confident.

Edited November 5, 2016 by violetchain

[PsychoΔelica 648]

4 hours ago, plastic_rainbow said:

i always thought being single was awesome, but it really sucks now. :<

yet, i'm too afraid to start a relationship....never had one before.

I think when you get out of a relationship with someone you liked it undermines your confidence. And is probably much more depressing. Then you wish you never had a relationship...

Edited November 5, 2016 by PsychoΔelica

[plastic_rainbow 2162]

3 hours ago, PsychoΔelica said:

I think when you get out of a relationship with someone you liked it undermines your confidence. And is probably much more depressing. Then you wish you never had a relationship...

 

i can definitely see how this is, which is part of the reason why i'm afraid of starting one. but i'm also more worried about hurting the other party than myself.....

 

i've also been kind of friend-deprived lately and need somebody to be around with, doesn't necessarily have to be a love relationship, i guess. being alone for too long is unhealthy. but if i ever think seriously about starting a love relationship though i still think i should build some maturity and widen my knowledge anyway.

Edited November 5, 2016 by plastic_rainbow

[Nyasagi 259]

I've been single again for over a week or something. I'm not into this conventional romantic stuff, such as cute talk and "I love yous", she wanted that, I didn't. Maybe I'm just aromantic or something, idk. Being single again feels good, it just sucks I'm unfit for such things both apprearance and personality-wise, because I want to be important to someone and people only prioritize their partner or their family, so I have to take care of myself only (I'm not really close to my family).

[PsychoΔelica 648]

9 hours ago, plastic_rainbow said:

 

i can definitely see how this is, which is part of the reason why i'm afraid of starting one. but i'm also more worried about hurting the other party than myself.....

 

i've also been kind of friend-deprived lately and need somebody to be around with, doesn't necessarily have to be a love relationship, i guess. being alone for too long is unhealthy. but if i ever think seriously about starting a love relationship though i still think i should build some maturity and widen my knowledge anyway.

I have learned that if you rush things you only gonna damage the relationship, and possibly scare away your partner. So it's always good to get to know each other well before making any other moves. And if the other side is saying they want to take things slow it's actually pretty cool. I think the only way there can actually be love is if you can be tolerant towards each other and aren't being selfish… So you're probably thinking right. :)

[Bear 1817]

I'm going on my first date in 4-5 years today (as I was in a 4-5 years long relationship that ended earlier this year), a tinder date. That'll be interesting. Plans for the evening? Baking! We're gonna bake buns, something which I suck at. I love baking, and i'm quite skilled at baking, but I fucking hate baking with yeast. I'm not good at it at all actually. So this is gonna be fun.

[Tokage 5930]

"baking buns"

 

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

[PsychoΔelica 648]

I think I finally met a guy who I want a serious relationship with, and appears to be willing to make it work. Even despite some language difficulties we have, and the distance. But I find it more exciting that way. 

 

Let's see if that won't become a breaking factor...

Edited December 2, 2016 by PsychoΔelica

[Bear 1817]

Ill play with her buns later on. But first well bake buns.

[suji 8317]

I've been single for a while, although all my relationships were online. Even though I had a brief crush on someone for a bit, I'm not really interested in getting into an actual relationship, particularly because of issues with myself, and issues with people in general. Also cuz I don't got time for that shit 😛

Edited December 2, 2016 by midi:nette

[YuyoDrift 1540]

8 hours ago, Bear said:

a tinder date.

 

Curious to know when/why you decided to go this route?

 

 

[Bear 1817]

42 minutes ago, YuyoDrift said:

 

Curious to know when/why you decided to go this route?

 

 

 

I live far away from basically everyone I know. My friends and family live 6-8 hours away. I've got one friend up here who works the evenings, which is when I'm available. So we don't get to meet up very often. My hobbies includes watching films/TV-series, playing video games and boardgames, cooking, watching and playing football, going to concerts and getting drunk. In other words I'm pretty nerdy, as well as very shy and introvert. Tinder just looked like an easy way to get to know girls and hook up/meet, be it for a beer or two, a cup of coffee, film, football, something to eat or just a one night stand and nothing more. It's simply an easy way to get to know people, and therefore an easy way to be social, be it for one evening or repeatedly. If it'll make a friendship or relationship you never know, but I'm not looking for anything special. Just to be social. in a way or other.

 

I've recently started to meet up with some co-workers outside of work, though. After 2+ years at this job. And we've hit it off, and I'm gonna join them for board games in tuesday(s), as well as other things (parties, dinners and that kind of stuff). Which is nice. I have my job up here so I am not willing to move right now, but I need to be a bit social too to keep it up, even if it's just for an evening/night every now and then.

 

TL:DR: it's an easy way to get to meet others, be social and quite possibly have a good time/some fun. Some you'll dislike, some you'll hit it off with, be it just as friends, an ONS or something more.

Edited December 2, 2016 by Bear

[YuyoDrift 1540]

55 minutes ago, Bear said:

TL:DR: it's an easy way to get to meet others, be social and quite possibly have a good time/some fun. Some you'll dislike, some you'll hit it off with, be it just as friends, an ONS or something more.

 

Thanks for the quick response. It really was an honest question, so I appreciate the honest feedback.

 

I, myself, have refused to accept any talk about online dating sites, as I feel I do quite well on my own, socializing-wise.

Not saying that only socially awkward people join these sites (I'm quite awkward myself), but that online dating is not something I'd consider any time soon.

My friends have strongly recommended that I sign up, due to the fact that I am very stubborn for the gals at the bars/clubs, who just wanna have fun/fuck, and this site may meet my needs for companionship.

Yet I know the intention of sites/apps like this, and why most people sign up initially, so I choose not to partake. I feel people should be given a chance, and not just swiped to the left for having piercings, a tramp stamp, or simply a bad haircut. I wont go into full on rant mode here haha.

 

On the other hand, my time is limited, and I need to prioritize and schedule some more of it for socializing.  My friends do seem to miss me, and their kind-hearted attempts to introduce me to their friends have fallen on deaf ears. Online dating will probably pull me in due to desperation from being lonely, just not anytime soon. I'm enjoying "me time".

 

With that being said, good luck man. Just don't become numb to relationships like the rest of us. I've heard the stories first hand, even when I didn't want to haha.

Let me know how the online dating life is in your opinion.

 

 

[Bear 1817]

I'm not really socially awkward or anything. Shy and introvert, sure, but I talk to plenty of strangers of both genders when I decide to go out. So it's not really that. It's more that I don't go often too often as I always have ended up going alone because I haven't had anyone to go out with. But when I go out and meet a girl it would usually just end in sex and nothing more. So far this offers something different as you actually chat for quite some time before meeting, and on this occasion meet and bake fuckin' buns and play boardgames. If we end up having sex, fantastic. If not, cool, I hope I have fun, win the boardgames (sore looser and an even worse winner!!! And proud of it!) and get some delicious buns.

 

But I have lots of friends who's been active and while they are open for just sex like me, a lot of them have met up with loads and loads of chicks just to get to know eachother, have fun and see if it can turn into something serious. And if not, better luck next time. And many of them have had better luck and gone into a relationship.

 

 

I also met my previous girl online, but on a regular forum where people discuss anything really. But we started talking private early on and it was no different from this really. Met up once for 4 days, and 3 months later she came and got me and my stuff and we moved in together. We lasted for about 5 years before we decided to split because it turned into more of a friendship with benefits (different interests, different goals in life and so on), something which we didn't really feel was the right thing for us both.

[Bear 1817]

Well, that certainly went well. Had a great time last night, and ended up spending the night to my big surprise. Didn't plan on that. Started with playing cards (I won and got cheeky as fuck, because I am an incredibly sore winner), baked buns which turned out delicious, watched some sex-show and American Pie with her friend on TV and shit. I had a great time, and I could tellshe did too, as well as her friend. Sure couldn't resist my charm.

 

Anyway, whatever happens next it was still worth it. Had a great evening/night.

[allisapp 303]

4 minutes ago, Bear said:

Well, that certainly went well. Had a great time last night, and ended up spending the night to my big surprise. Didn't plan on that. Started with playing cards (I won and got cheeky as fuck, because I am an incredibly sore winner), baked buns which turned out delicious, watched some sex-show and American Pie with her friend on TV and shit. I had a great time, and I could tellshe did too, as well as her friend. Sure couldn't resist my charm.

 

Anyway, whatever happens next it was still worth it. Had a great evening/night.

 

Awesome to hear! As Tinder is quite known as "one night stand-heaven", it's great to hear that kind of experiences included in a date.

[suji 8317]

A while back, I tried a women-only dating app called Her for the sake of curiosity, but I didn't really see any interesting girls in my area. There were some girls that were hot, but they lived too far. However, I did catch the attention of a few girls and we chatted for a bit, but none of the encounters ever escalated beyond that, and there was literally no spark. I later deleted the app cuz I was bored with it (and it was basically a Facebook for queer women), and I was not comfortable with trans men being on there despite being a women-only app, and more importantly, the fact that my location was being displayed publicly.

Edited December 3, 2016 by midi:nette

[Takato 144]

Single. I met last month a girl, I don't know if it was a date or not. She likes me, but, we are not in a relationship because, she lived 3 hours away from me. for a long time this would never go well... in my hometown i will never get a gf.

[Atreides 454]

I've been single for almost 4 ish months now. It still feels strange how much freedom I have when work isn't strangling me.  It's quite a nice life, I've been enjoying it immensely. Dating someone for 7 years is a long time if you end up not liking eachother.

[shiroihana 182]

On 1/1/2017 at 7:46 PM, Atreides said:

I've been single for almost 4 ish months now. It still feels strange how much freedom I have when work isn't strangling me.  It's quite a nice life, I've been enjoying it immensely. Dating someone for 7 years is a long time if you end up not liking eachother.

Hell yeah~

 

I know this might sound bad to some people but I've been in serious online relationships but not serious in-person relationships, but really I'm a tremendous introvert in the sense that I don't like to spend a lot of time with people in person outside of leisure time so yeah that's a large part of it - whereas online I can do shit on my own accord arbitrarily and the responsibility of commitment never arises. I've had people fall in love with me whom I liked but I never really wanted my relationships to evolve into something bigger because that's not how I roll, yet still petty drama and baseless arguments were a frequent enough phenomenon that over time the thought of being completely single seemed much more desirable.

 

tl;dr I love being single but it's mostly because I don't actively pursue serious relationships (I prefer friendships) and I love me some alone time. I never understood why so many people feel an imperative need to be in a relationship either considering the way many if not most relationships deteriorate over time. I've seen so many heartbroken people who could barely even recover from a broken relationship so I wonder why it's so urgent to be in one considering what is very likely to end up happening.

[togz 2004]

On 1/1/2017 at 4:46 PM, Atreides said:

I've been single for almost 4 ish months now. It still feels strange how much freedom I have when work isn't strangling me.  It's quite a nice life, I've been enjoying it immensely. Dating someone for 7 years is a long time if you end up not liking eachother.

You know. I feel like I have taken being single for granted. I feel like my last relationship ended really prematurely... but i also realized i was able to not spend as much money and I didn't have to worry about someone else's schedule before planning my own. But I feel like it can work with the right person who wants the same distance and time together as you. Which is why i guess i keep looking. idk.

24 minutes ago, shiroihana said:

Hell yeah~

 

I know this might sound bad to some people but I've been in serious online relationships but not serious in-person relationships, but really I'm a tremendous introvert in the sense that I don't like to spend a lot of time with people in person outside of leisure time so yeah that's a large part of it - whereas online I can do shit on my own accord arbitrarily and the responsibility of commitment never arises. I've had people fall in love with me whom I liked but I never really wanted my relationships to evolve into something bigger because that's not how I roll, yet still petty drama and baseless arguments were a frequent enough phenomenon that over time the thought of being completely single seemed much more desirable.

 

tl;dr I love being single but it's mostly because I don't actively pursue serious relationships (I prefer friendships) and I love me some alone time. I never understood why so many people feel an imperative need to be in a relationship either considering the way many if not most relationships deteriorate over time. I've seen so many heartbroken people who could barely even recover from a broken relationship so I wonder why it's so urgent to be in one considering what is very likely to end up happening.

 I can agree with a lot of this. Being single does have it's plus sides. Especially if you're not even in the market to commit to anyone else but yourself because you do have to sacrifice some stuff to be in a serious relationship and meet the other person half way. But I think you can only do that once you're comfortable with yourself and all that jazz. 

 

 

idk relationships are weird. i never know what to say or do. I always think i'm at fault. I never understand why someone likes me so i convince myself they're lying which in the end pushes them away because they get tired of trying to prove themselves when they shouldn't have to.

[itsukoii 1300]

technically, i've been single my entire life (i had a mutual liking with a guy once, but i didn't want a long distance relationship. i think he thought we were official, and i didn't have the heart to say we weren't... still, that's the closest i've ever been to a relationship even though i don't really count it OTL). i've only had crushes on a handful of people (who never returned the feelings ;^;). i never really was into relationships and all of that funky stuff when the people around me/my friends started getting into it, and even now i don't think i'm 100% ready for a relationship. but that's alright, because i'm still young, and i really don't need to rush into these things. i'm content being single, because i'm an independent person for the most part.

 

i gotta admit though, i'm curious to see what it'd be like in a "real" relationship. but i haven't met anybody who i'm interested in, and i won't date someone who i'm not 100% devoted to or someone who i don't really like.

 

aaaand i think a big reason as to why i've been single for this long is because i never really give people chances. i'm a bit quick to judge. whoops. (but most guys who talk to me are basic weed-smoking white boys with neckbeards and type like they're 10, so... there isn't really much to "judge" or any chances to give lolol.) but tbqh i am pretty picky in the people i like and i guess i do have "types" :S so i really don't want to settle with somebody who wouldn't be right for me just for the sake of making them happy or giving a relationship a try. i wouldn't enjoy it and in the end i'd probably hurt the other person by accident, due to nothing working out. why am i such a bitch

 

tl;dr i'm happy being single but wouldn't mind trying a relationship if the right person came along, but it probably won't happen for a while ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Edited January 9, 2017 by itsukoii

[PsychoΔelica 648]

So I guess to find someone who's got a great personality, brains and good looks at once you really need to marry 3 times... :/

[Komorebi 2193]

On 2/12/2016 at 9:23 AM, midi:nette said:

I've been single for a while, although all my relationships were online. Even though I had a brief crush on someone for a bit, I'm not really interested in getting into an actual relationship, particularly because of issues with myself, and issues with people in general. Also cuz I don't got time for that shit

I find this so relateable XD

 

On 8/1/2017 at 10:30 PM, shiroihana said:

I know this might sound bad to some people but I've been in serious online relationships but not serious in-person relationships, but really I'm a tremendous introvert in the sense that I don't like to spend a lot of time with people in person outside of leisure time so yeah that's a large part of it - whereas online I can do shit on my own accord arbitrarily

This is too tempting, I'd try it lol

 

On 9/1/2017 at 11:41 PM, itsukoii said:

aaaand i think a big reason as to why i've been single for this long is because i never really give people chances. i'm a bit quick to judge. whoops. (but most guys who talk to me are basic weed-smoking white boys with neckbeards and type like they're 10, so... there isn't really much to "judge" or any chances to give lolol.) but tbqh i am pretty picky in the people i like and i guess i do have "types" :S so i really don't want to settle with somebody who wouldn't be right for me just for the sake of making them happy or giving a relationship a try. i wouldn't enjoy it and in the end i'd probably hurt the other person by accident, due to nothing working out. why am i such a bitch

Are you me?

 

Also, Yuyo, your opinion on Tinder is just what I expected of you XDDD

[Nyasagi 259]

After my experience I can say relationships are more effort than it's really worth (but my experience was a really bad one, in the end and I don't want to talk about it publicly). Not being in one makes me feel lonely, though... and I'm scared I'll never find someone with similar interests again. This is important for me, somehow I don't get along with too different people, because I don't understand them.