patientZERO

I don't work for an airline. I work in the aerospace industry for a company that makes and distributes aircraft parts. I honestly don't fear getting sick in the least, but I might as well be if I don't have a job.

Your neighbors are totally shooting porn.

Thank you for taking the time out of your day to write all that down for me CAT. It's definitely what I needed to hear and now I have a lot of thinking to do. I woke up to a message from her saying how she loved me and can't imagine her life without me, but is afraid of getting married and having kids because once you do that you don't have an escape (I'm paraphrasing). I still am a bit in the dark at how she feels as she hasn't been able to really explain herself clearly, but we plan on having a sit-down conversation about it all tomorrow. I'm going to explain myself better and say that if she has any doubts on whether she wants to spend the rest of her life with me, then she should maybe spend some time without me to think it over. It's not like I proper proposed to her, this was just the conversation before I should really start planning my life around that, but I was thinking about proposing soon (this year) and now it's all thrown out of whack.

Maybe I put too much thought and effort and weight into this relationship, and that's partially my fault, as I've really only had her on my mind in regards to our future. I wasn't think about bettering myself or even where I would want to be in my life in the future. I just knew that I wanted her to be a part of it.

Thank you again, all, for your kind (and sometimes harsh, but definitely needed) words. This situation is still raw and still new and all still shaky. But I feel better about it all now than I did before. Nervous, but better.

Thank you all for your advice. I left the ball in her court after this all happened earlier today, so I'm just going to sit and wait. She knows this is a big deal and maybe she just needs time to process everything, but all I know is there's nothing I can do about it right now other than cry. It saddens me that she's flip-flopped about this issue, but it saddens me more and I fear how she'll react if this truly isn't the life she wants and I move on, or at least try to.

Yes, she's Japanese and I talked to her about moving in together and starting a life together and she pretty much made it sound like she never wanted that. She wants to be together as a couple, but always live separately. Which is frustrating because one minute she'll tell me she never wants me to leave her side and another when she says she never sees marriage as an option. Legit, today when this all came up, I told her I wanted to get married and she kept saying she was happy and that she seriously wanted to get married as well. Then minutes later, she said "I always wondered why people get married, it doesn't mean I don't love you, I just know I need to stay alone."

I'm sorry for dumping this on you all.

I want to get married, have kids, and have a life with her and I'm running out of time. I'm over 30 and I'm watching everyone around me live the life I wish I could. Is it harsh of me to ask the question of whether or not it's worth continuing if she doesn't want to get married? I know you're just an outside party on the internet, but sometimes it's easier to hear/get advice that way. Thank you for listening and offering your time and advice. I've just sat at home unable to move or do anything since. This just all comes as a shock because from the moment we got serious, she's known that I always wanted to get married and always dreamed of starting a family. Why now the change of heart?

nurié, カカトオトシ。(KAKATOOSHI.), リブラヴェル (Libravel) ... and gulu gulu.

Agreed. They truly are the definition of mediocre.

I only saw people holding out Zyean checki for the most part. My guess was gya mostly wanted Ricko's as it was his birthday live and he spent a LOT of time taking cheki back stage before the encore because he cosplayed as Hyde from L'arc en Ciel. They pulled a prank on him since it was his birthday. Boogie and Sena told the crowd that they were going to give him this tiny piece of cake and then after that, they'd play a few songs until the final song and then surprise him again with a real cake. So Ricko came out, got the crowd hyped for the encore and then the background synth started playing Happy Birthday. Boogie walked out with a TINY piece of cake and went to hand it to Ricko, after Ricko reluctantly said thank you and Boogie took a huge bite out of it and then walked away! We all laughed, they played a L'arc cover, another song and then Ricko went "This last song is called ... BLOOD ... FUCKING ... SHOT!!!" And they all played the first bar of the song before the birthday music hit again. Ricko's back was facing the crowd and he just stood there, and went "he~?" into the mic. It was super hilarious. Boogie brought out the real cake and they all said some words about Ricko and his impact on their lives and the band. Zyean was pretty soft-spoken (I've never really heard him talk much before) and was saying how nice Ricko was and how they had similar interests in games and such and Ricko started crying. He held it in pretty well, and then cracked a bit again when Sena started talking. It was a pretty astounding experience. I stood out like a sore thumb being the only gaijin and probably one of six or so men, but I could visibly see the band were excited to see a male gaijin at such a small show.

I still haven't watch it, but the DVD I got was the SZ version. I have to say, too, that Ricko made his way up to number 2 for me after seeing him live. He's so energetic, and ALWAYS on key. He didn't hit a flat note the whole live, plus he was smiling ear-to-ear the whole time. Zyean's still my dude and it was real cool seeing him sing backing on some songs, Boogie too.

My girlfriend lives in Tokyo and it was my first time being back in Japan in three years. From the second I got out of the airport, I could instantly feel the difference between Tokyo and Osaka, but I went to spend time with her, so I didn't care. We did a lot of fun, proper couple things together like go to Tokyo Disney Sea and Tokyo Tower and I ate a LOT of delicious food. I missed real Japanese cuisine, like okonomiyaki and such. I only ended up going to two lives because the bands I wanted to see weren't in Tokyo for the two weeks I was there, but I did end up seeing ゆくえしれずつれづれ and KAQRIYOTERROR on Christmas Eve (a very unique experience seeing such groups, especially as a foreigner) and JILUKA on my birthday, which was also Ricko's birthday live. The JILUKA live house was TINY, so it felt quite intimate and Ricko instantly noticed me as a foreigner and pointed right at me in the middle of one song and gave me a huge smile and thumb's up. Sena did the same a bunch of times. They talked a lot and I could only understand about a third of it, but the live itself was still a lot of fun. Afterward I got to see the side of VK that I didn't see when I was in Osaka before since I saw mostly metal bands (NOCTURNAL BLOODLUST, Deviloof, Dir en grey) where there was a huge queue for cheki and girls standing on the side of line holding up their unwanted cheki from members they didn't like. It felt a bit sad, and I thought that if Boogie or Zyean walked by, they'd be saddened by how few bangya wanted their cheki. I still find the concept of cheki itself a bit weird, but it's what sells the most and gets the band the most money. In the end, I ended up buying the live-exclusive blanket and muffler (the blanket is tiny and the muffler is actually misprinted, with the logo on the wrong side) and the XND t-shirt, which netted me a DVD for spending over 4000Y. I haven't watched it yet, but I can only assume it's something I'll only view one, at max.

I could go on and on, but I don't want to bore. It was memorable and I didn't want to leave.

Have fun and live it up as much as possible! I hope you don't encounter any jetlag!

One of us. One of us!

I brought it up with my partner and she said there's nothing she has interest in seeing in Nagoya. So maybe not. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for some sweet lineups for New Years lives.

It's a long trip and expensive if I take the shinkansen, so maybe I'll make it an overnight trip. Hmmm. I don't really know what's in Nagoya, but it's time to look!

Based on the pictures of Youtsuya LOTUS, that place is tiny. And I thought Amemura DROP was small. Thanks for asking around, too!

I got all the tickets for the shows I went to from Family Mart and 7-11 when I was in-country, but I'm afraid that this show may sell out, so I might find a shopping service to try and get a ticket for me. I don't care about my number since I'm fairly tall and don't mind being in back. I just don't want to miss out on seeing JILUKA live like I did in 2016.

Don't you know, it's elitist to get files in formats that are virtually impossible to play and you have to run through a cypher to hear? Jeez, get on their level. 8-track is the next big thing.