Seelentau

DIR EN GREY 2018/5/1 ZEPP NAGOYA

What can I say about this fucking band!!! I swear to god I always say this, but any time I’m in the pit, with a decent view, I lose my goddamn mind. Tonight’s ramblings are so much more disjointed because I was so much closer than Namba Day 1, just three in front of Kaoru, and I was so happy that everyone around me was max only 10cm taller than my short ass.

Kaoru and Toshiya are hands down just my favorite people in this entire world; I can’t express how amazing it is to see them play. Karasu once again was amazing, and Kaoru came to play on the edge of the stage, just above me really, and to watch him poke at the fret and press his tongue to his lip as he kept in time was just so, so special; Toshiya too had a much better resonation throughout the song too—sometimes you can hardly hear him when he scratches his mic stand across his strings! But tonight was perfect, and I couldn’t help but smirk when I saw him do that so purposeful the first time—the second time he goes hard on the strings, but at first he’ll sort of tap the mic stand and it’s just. I DON’T KNOW. I love watching this sort of thing.

Also, I recall fondly both DIFFERENT SENSE and the punk song; watching Toshiya do the backup vocals… For Namba Day 2, I wasn’t able to fully enjoy that aspect of DIFFERENT SENSE, so really, I’m happy it was the same setlist? Like a Namba Day 2 revenge.

Tefutefu (yo Kristin) is also so fucking powerfully played. It’s no Vinushka in terms of emotion (and masterful technique as such) but the guitars marry so well with the bass and drum that isn’t quite as defined on the album as it is live? I honestly don’t think I’ve ever thought that about such a song before, not that style, not live, but this just opened my mind, and in a way, it kind of… proves to me why I always loved it so much. Just wish I could have seen that guitar solo!

So many of the other songs were just absolutely stunning too in their performance—there was feedback at times, and I want to say I heard a sour note somewhere in the middle of the setlist (but I can’t recall so I can’t say this is true), but their passion and love for what they do just blows me out of the water. And the fans—they were so into it, rowdy as all fuck, and I love us. I really love us as a group, even when we get annoying and bitchy… Kiri to Mayu, Midwife and Fukai got the crowd so riled up that the heat radiating from us in the Kaoru pit that I swear to god our hair was sweating. I want to just jump back in and go for another two hours…

Ah! That reminds me. Toshiya was singing both Fukai and mouthing some of the words (especially chorus) of Ranunculus tonight. I just adore the way he enjoys the lyrics. It’s always been such a soft spot for me… And he anticipates them, their mood, touching his eyes before Ranunculus and sort of stroking himself during Vinushka—I just??? What a sweet man???

(Reviewing the setlist from Twitter and) I have absolutely NO recollection of Disabled Complexes. It’s like my mind hollowed out after Vinushka and took those four minutes to process before being absolutely destroyed by Beautiful Dirt. GOD, I hated that mix so bad but it’s the best live. I’m sorry I ever doubted themmm.

The encore was far too… quick. This always happens. Five songs? That’s it? It was a ton of fun though, and I think IIID Empire might become a rotating song from hereon out until the new album releases, and I’m so happy because the burst of energy you get…

It feels like my words are failing me. I loved every single moment, even the ones where I felt crushed and couldn’t see. Sometimes you have to party in the back, but sometimes you just have to become one with the crowd.

Ah! Kyo’s ANNNNNGHHHH and NAAAGOOOYAAA makes me so happy. I honestly don’t think he says any city name better. But I’m biased. But I’m also right. I wish I could remember when he came over, because he was so close I could see his rings, and I just… Thanks Kyo. Sorry I never try for the middle.

After the encore, Kaoru was an absolute fool by junking us not once but twice in his pit, refusing to throw them in. So when the third time came by, I started flipping him off and mouthing “hey fuck you” over and over to the point that Kaoru tilted his head away from me and glared for a good twenty seconds while the fan ahead of me just lost it laughing. Yes, Kaoru. We gave you our all—don’t fuck with us!

But as the lights went up, I felt like I couldn’t go. I had to let the crowd clear out and I hoped to just exist in the same place as everyone else, and someone started the encore chant. Again.

I lost it and screamed the entire time. When the men came back out, it felt as if my soul ascended from my body to the heavens—it felt right. Just absolutely and utterly so correct that if I had died at the end of Hageshisa, no one would doubt that it was my time to go. Toshiya was laughing as he came back on stage, and Kaoru couldn’t help but smirk at us. I don’t know why but it’s in those moments when you see them like this that you can really feel not just the emotion of a song or the satisfaction of getting the notes, but. An overall sort of feeling. Contentment? I don’t know, but I wonder.

Lastly, Toshiya stripped for everyone. What a beautiful man, inside and out. A friend could see him shaking hands with all of the staff at the end of the first encore—just.

Again, words are just problematic to me right now.

I love them, and I love you all as the sixth member, too. This was an amazing tour end for me. Nagoya always treats me so well. Thank you all so much for making this one of the best nights of my life. To me, this is a bookend to the mode of tours. So let’s start something new okay? <3

I love Zepp Nagoya. Not only because Nagoya was my first home in Japan, the shows here have a different atmosphere same like Namba is different or Shinkiba is different.
Today was not the last show of the tour, but it had the energy of one.

I had a lovely two digit number today, so I could get a second row, not super center, but just in front of the space where Kyo rests at Shinya’s drums stand. It also felt great to have quite a few friends around

They started a few minutes after 7 with SE video with planets. Shinya wore a white shirt. Die had wavy hair, a bit sleek at the top, and he wore very airy sleeveless shirt with a white? light color? scarf. Standing so close I could see his ‘tights’ in detail. What I earlier took as a printed pattern is actually a leather decoration. Wow.
Toshiya wore his evening suit and Kaoru his magic realm cape. His hair to me started to look pink instead of purple

Kyo entered the stage as the last one. He had a cropped jacket that was the same purple color as his pants (but it veeeery often looked black or grey depending on the light). Underneath he had a loose white shirt with a standing collar, a black and red ribbon type tie and Madaraningen necklace. He wore the same belt as before, a black and red THEODUCTS belt, Balenciaga socks over his pants and Gucci sneakers. He also had Hamsa earring and Madaraningen rings on his left hand. His hair was only slightly styled. He had red eyelashes and smudged lipstick. I don’t think his contact lenses were white, but the light was changing too much for me to be able to tell the exact color.

It was intense from the beginning. We were participating each time Kyo signalled he wanted to hear us. He kept looking at fans, pointing at various parts of the audience. And I felt like we joined in for more parts than usual, the audience was definitely super enthusiastic

Kyo wanted to come to the front of his stand for DIFFERENT SENSE to have us sing but he dropped his microphone (did the cord catch on something?). But he simply picked it up and came to the edge anyway. We sang.

Fukai. The lights are green in the beginning. When we enter the chorus Kyo receives red spotlight and we sang with him. It was beautiful.

After Fukai (?) ended Kyo stood behind his box and put his hands together like in a prayer. When some fan broke the silence screaming his name and others joined Kyo slowly moved forward to take a step up on the stand.

Ranunculus was again so emotional and beautiful.

Before Tefutefu Kyo did the third eye gesture. But it looked different today. He held his hand in front his face like he was holding a mask. And he took it off. After the song finished he repeated the gesture putting the mask back on.

VINUSHKA. I was crying by the end like many people around me but even so we sang with Kyo.

Maybe Sendai helped me prepare, but this time it was easier to enter Beautiful Dirt. Kyo was dancing a lot in the beginning. All other members traveled around the stage, Kaoru was the kindest towards the center as he stayed with us the longest I love his cape, I wish I could have a proper look at the pattern!

Kyo spent the most of the song moving along the edge of the stage and meeting fans eyes while we screamed ‘PSYCHO KILLER’.

They left and we soon started to chant for encore.

As they came back my heart almost exploded. Because. I saw a cat. A cat. Kyo came back for encore wearing a denim jacket that was a bit longer because it had detachable part (with zips). Underneath there was a cat peeking and I saw the bottom line 'BLIND FOR LOVE’. He also wore Adidas sweatpants and kept the sneakers.

Kyo came to the front of his stand for Behind and had us sing for him, he took out his ear monitor to hear us properly.

He took off the jacket and I could see the kitty shirt in the full glory. A cat ♥

Punk is not dead / GO MAD is quite fun song for shows even as the melody proves a bit hard for the usual fist pumping. But I think we surprised Kyo a bit managing to squeeze screaming his name in the song in one part

The rest of the encore was just pure energy. All band members kept traveling on the stage for Sustain, we got Kaoru’s visit again, but also Toshiya’s and Die’s (I’m sorry I was peeking what Kyo was doing on the sides xD). And for both Sustain and Utafumi we sang and sang and sang.

Another reason to love Nagoya is how Kyo says the name of the city when he addresses the audience.

なーーーごーやーーー!!!!

Kyo did the cheerful 'the back, are you alive? The side? The other side? and
AaaaaaaaaaAAaA!!!! (pointing the crowd in front of him)
And of course we replied as soon as he just started pointing us 😆

THE IIID EMPIRE was madness. And joy. And smiles.

The view of Kyo as he was sitting behind his stand (after he actually fell from it), tired but you could see he was so touched and happy. It brings the tears to my eyes even now.

(and he wore the kitty shirt 😂)

There was a lot of happy water splashing, thank you Kyo for the water in my face, it always feel like a 'well done, here some water’.
And when the turn for the towel came… 😭❤ thank you thank you thank you.

We stood holding the towel and waiting as other band members trew their things (it was really not fun when someone thought my scrunchie was a sock that Shinya threw and now I have a huge mark that looks like someone tied me o.o).

And we clapped and waved goodbye. The staff told us to leave and I think some people actually did start to leave. But most of us stayed and we kept chanting for encore. Because even as we didn’t think they will come back we wanted to show our gratitude for the tour and tonight’s show.
But.
They came back.
They did come back.

Kyo wore a black t-shirt with a face printed in the front and 'beautiful day’ printed on the sleeve. He also wore shorts with a 'love and sex’ flowery print on one leg and high socks. He had a scrape on the knee that probably came from the fall from the stand earlier. And Gucci sneakers.

Kyo greeted us with うるせー/ you’re so loud and 遅ぇーんだよ！/ it’s late oy!
And it was followed with Hageshisa and proving we’re alive. We sang most of the song with him.

Then Kyo stood on the stand and had fun making fans copy him clapping and do some gestures, with 'victory fists’ and 'kitsune / horns’. There were smiles again and looking and pointing at fans again. He looked like he wanted to find some more things to throw but in the end he started sending kisses and pointing more and then he finally waved us goodbye.

Other members were waving bye as well, but Toshiya hesitated before he left the stage. He stopped and took off his tour shirt and threw it to fans 😂

I love Nagoya 💚

(and the kitty shirt 😂)