Single People Thread

[gen-shoku 13]

It's been a couple years since my last real relationship. I guess I have a thing right now, but we aren't serious about each other and what we have couldn't be called a genuine relationship. I've definitely needed these years to reshape who I am as a person, and while I do think that's possible to do while in a relationship it's much easier to do it while being single. After all, if the person you're with doesn't like the person you become, what's the point in having stayed together? In my last relationship, we hurt each other badly because we didn't understand the other person as well as we thought we did, and also because we didn't know ourselves as well as we'd believed. I realized I needed to understand myself better in order to know what to change to become the kind of person I wanted to be, and I value that more right now than finding someone to share my life with. I guess it's mostly a process of becoming comfortable with who I am. 

[orange~ 387]

@gen-shoku, I can totally relate to that. I was in a long relationship and was struggling there. Both of us were heading to different directions, but still tried to find some common ground. That prevented either of us from getting anywhere in life. I guess it's possible to reshape yourself while being with someone, but I'm the kind of person that always adapts to surroundings and people around me without even thinking about it. I adapt too much, not prioritizing my own desires enough. So I came to a conclusion that in order to be whatever I'm becoming - I need to be by myself.

 

So yeah - I've been single for a good while now and I guess I'm really liking it. It's kinda funny though - Single people around me are almost neurotic in finding a partner, so much so that I've started to think there's something wrong with me. I'm fully content with just hanging around with friends and stuff. I have no need for a partner or even intimacy. Not that I'm against per se, but I can live longer periods without just fine. I've had few people I've spent more private time with every now and then, but I'm seriously considering if relationships are my thing at all.  

 

Open relationships are a thing of course too, and I guess they take away much of the negative aspects of traditional flings and relationship. I should probably try them before judging, but somehow I doubt people can remain in this "open-ness" for long. I value freedom way too much. Freedom of not having any responsibilities to report your comings and goings.  I can also lead just as depraved lifestyle that I want as single lol.

Edited February 1, 2017 by orange~

[YuyoDrift 1540]

On 2/1/2017 at 2:20 AM, orange~ said:

Single people around me are almost neurotic in finding a partner, so much so that I've started to think there's something wrong with me.

 

It's actually the other way around, bud.

There's something wrong with them, but instead of taking the time to realize their worth (not just to the world but to themselves), and improve/better themselves as a person, they seek that validation from someone else. It gets to the point where they will eventually lose sight of their own morals, and they will settle with "anyone".

 

 

On 2/1/2017 at 2:20 AM, orange~ said:

I should probably try them before judging, but somehow I doubt people can remain in this "open-ness" for long.

 

You aren't wrong on this point as well. The problem tends to be the lack in dealing with situations like these, where one has to remember (and understand) the decision they made to have this type of relationship. Believe me, people can go mad if they are lying to themselves about what this "relationship" really is (to them).

It has VERY high risks, not just to you, but to your social status, (unless you are a loner from the start) should your fuck buddy go and try and ruin it.

 

Hehe?

 

 

[Karma’s Hat 3107]

Single, and feeling great. 

 

I'm absolutely mortified reading a lot of the stuff on this and the virginity thread. I suppose I can understand to a lot of the anxiety and moping because I was the worst when I was a kid. Every woman who even looked at my general direction I thought was my last and only chance of getting laid ever, and the kind of grand theater I went into after a relationship ended is something that I sometimes get flashbacks of years afterwards, and those still make me want to bury myself alive from shame. Now I've just been around the block so many times that I know for a fact that there's millions of people on the planet who are your soulmates, probably moreso than the dullard you're with right now. In addition to that I just don't need the kind of affirmation I did years ago; I'd hound over every broad like a buried treasure with texts, calls and 24/7 jealousy that's just born out of poor self-esteem. I'll forgive myself because I was like, 16 and 17, but I can't relate to that person at all anymore. 

 

I'm still a neurotic mess, like after every night out I'm absolutely terrified of getting herpes, HIV, a call about a pregnancy and etc. But that usually only lasts a week after the fact, and if I see a person coughing in the street I'll be thinking of get a cold for like the next three days, so that's just how I am. Other than that, I just really don't care about anything other than my own private space and projects. If I was to go into a relationship, I'd rather not enjoy my partner's society more than on a weekly/bi-weekly basis and it'd be preferably be an open relationship at that. At this stage in my life I'm more dedicated to myself and what I do, and despite being fond of the thought of having someone to fuck and talk to at a moment's notice, I know in my heart of hearts that I prefer not having to entertain and worry about anyone else but me, my immediate family and my cats. 

[GLASSCLOUD 38]

I'm in some kind of weird ass limbo. I had to commit my boyfriend to the mental ward because he was hearing voices and thought the government was reading his mind. He called me accusing me of being a serial killer and going on about other delusions he has developed about me. He terrifies me. I don't know what to do. 

[Nyasagi 259]

Dealing with it is only his responsibility, you don't have to deal with it if you feel like you aren't ready for this. Babysitting a person with a mental illness may be some very hard emotional work. If you want to stay with him, maybe go to a psychologist to talk about it? They know it better how you should handle it.

[Himeaimichu 1535]

My relationship history is WEIRD. Any girlfriend I've had was online, only one was real, the other two were catfishing me, by the same person. 

The closest I've ever had to a real life relationship is this wonderful girl I met last year, she and I became best friends and I fell for her, hard. She wasn't really into girls, but she let me be her kitty (S/D stuff. We both were really into that). She even became my first kiss (If being kissed on the forehead counts), which I still remember dearly to this day. But the happiness didn't last long because I wanted so much affection and was kinda clingy which stressed her out. It didn't help she was also dealing with a complicated situation with another guy who honestly was only using her for attention (and later, sex) and it honestly got toxic between them. He kept hurting her and I was in the middle of it. I promised them both I'd stay neutral, until one day, she came to me between classes crying intensely, and I tried to comfort her and a friend of the guy and another girl noticed what was going on and helped me try to help her feel better, and they told us their past with the guy, which... I can just say he disgusts me now. She eventually decided not to have any more to do with him, and eventually found a guy who treated her right, which both made me happy, but at the same time, I was wishing so badly it was me in her arms because I was still in love with her. But she still hugged me occasionally, just much less. 

She now lives in Canada and she and I still talk very often though. And even though last year was stressful, it wasn't as dramatic as this year, which my god I am disgusted at how I spent a whole semester this year fawning over a girl who only wanted me for attention, and quickly abandoned me when she found someone who was easier to control.

The story with that, well there was this girl who became a best friend of mine, she had a boyfriend but said she'd date me in a heartbeat. Throughout the months, she and I were sort of almost in a relationship, but not exactly. The most we did is hug, cuddle and say "I love you". I didn't kiss her, nor did she kiss me because I didn't want her to cheat on her boyfriend (In hindsight, she was really already cheating, but I was so infatuated with her, that I threw logic to the ground.) Anyway, another friend of ours had a crush on her and she also said she had a thing for him. He and I promised not to let her get in between us, but she tried to turn me against him. She'd also try to make herself look more attractive personality-wise to me, often mentioning how she was dom, and was into Japanese rock (She even could name a few bands, such as Dir En Grey). Anyway, she told me how her boyfriend was being an asshole to her, and I got disgusted. Then, one day, he breaks up with her. She came crying to me and I hugged her close. At the end of the day, she even kissed me cheek and I almost fainted on the spot. Then the next day, she decides to get with another guy, who was even more submissive than I am. I spend the rest of the semester being hurt, the pain getting worse as I hung out with her, and she always had her boyfriend with her and PDA'd in front of me, and she'd go on about the kinky sex she had. That both not only made me feel a little disgusted, but also lonelier, even to the point of suicide. Then, suddenly, she said she got pregnant and I got extremely worried about her. Then a little later, she said she got an abortion. Then later on, I found out she was only using me for attention, and that she in essence was a whore, and abusive. I sometimes saw her using her scars (From self harm) to threaten her boyfriend, and according to a friend of mine who was also used by her, she said the girl claimed to have a miscarriage, which proved she was lying about being pregnant in the first place for attention. Also, I then realised about all those times she bragged about how much sex she's had with different people, and I even found out she cheated on her current boyfriend. By then, I decided to cut that b*tch off and tell her off. So I went to her, and told her that I knew I was her tool for attention, and that I will not just let her make me feel lonely and suicidal, and that she doesn't have to deal with me anymore. She then smarted me off so I told her I knew she was cheating on her boyfriend, and both told me "So?". 

Now, I don't even mention her name if she comes up in a conversation. I just refer to her as "The Succubus", but honestly, that isn't even a good way to describe her, because Succubi are usually sexy xD. She just started looking uglier on the outside the more I realised how ugly she was on the inside. She actually does completely look different now, because she stopped dressing alternative and started wearing more normie makeup and clothing.  

The worst part about this though is that I spend the entire semester, being put into drama that you'd expect to be from underclassmen, being used by an underclassman. To put things in prespective, I'll be a Senior next August. I'm a junior, and yet I spent my entire first semester this year being used by a person younger than me, being brought into drama with people younger than me (She dragged me into drama with so many people... so many equally ugly on the inside people that she had drama with.) when I'm supposed to be more mature and adult in nature. I am a young adult and I let myself get used by a girl who was still stuck in her middle school scene phase.

 

So here I am now. I've grown from both experiences. IDK what my future holds for me relationship-wise, because, well, and I'm not downing myself when I say this, all the girls I find attractive at the moment won't date me. I live in a small town, and there are very few people who fit my needs in a relationship, so girls my type are very rare. The ones who are, well, I've had my chances with them. And honestly, people view me as the weird weeb kid who listens to only traditional Japanese music (AKA the person I was in middle school...) It would be nice to have a good, mature relationship, but that's not going to be for a long time.  But, I have more to life ahead of me than that. I'm on my way to become an adult, and I should enjoy life as a teenager while I still can

[Licio123 181]

Maybe it's my time. Will hookup with a girl after many years, hope it turns out ok. I'm pretty shy and introverted, she seems to be the opposite, but well, it's worth a try.

[Karma’s Hat 3107]

Discovered tinder. Can't stop using it. I even walked through a museum left swiping scrubs like, thank you ancestors for letting me have this

 

I've yet to date anyone because I'm just about to change countries, but in the next one some shorty just about to be ready to quit her day job if she puts in work

 

#stackinbandz #finnishMONEY #10sonly #fucboi #overcompensating

[WhirlingBlack 1043]

You'd almost have thought it was a performance art installation, walking through the Budapest art museum while the guy next to you is consistently and completely unashamedly tinder-swiping instead of watching the paintings. Really putting in a lot of work there!

[YuyoDrift 1540]

So after receiving news that one of my friends contracted herpes from a tinder hook up, I'm going to just forget that free online dating apps exist.

Shit like that, makes my dick shrivel up haha.

For the love of god people, please be careful.

 

[lichtlune 915]

4 hours ago, YuyoDrift said:

So after receiving news that one of my friends contracted herpes from a tinder hook up, I'm going to just forget that free online dating apps exist.

Shit like that, makes my dick shrivel up haha.

For the love of god people, please be careful.

 

I wouldn't even trust those profiles that say "No hookups!" In the bio. No telling how much the regulars on those apps get around. I wouldn't trust it personally. Luckily I don't get any matches anyway. lol 

[platy 3018]

1 hour ago, lichtlune said:

I wouldn't even trust those profiles that say "No hookups!" In the bio. No telling how much the regulars on those apps get around. I wouldn't trust it personally. Luckily I don't get any matches anyway. lol 

 

lol I trust that too much. I see no hook ups and I instantly nope them. Not like they ever talk to me anyway :c

Tinder is shit. 

[YuyoDrift 1540]

1 hour ago, CoolKill3rX said:

 

Didn't know Herpes is only found on Tinder or other dating apps.

 

Believe it or not, but there are people out there that ONLY use online dating sites for relationships/hooking up.

So getting herpes (or anything else) by some other form, outside of that, is unlikely.

Possible yes, but not when you are as busy as a Chicagoan in his mid 20's like us.

Busy lifestyle.

[orange~ 387]

Oh the talk has shifted to tinder here? At first I was pretty hooked into it as few of my friends forced me to make a profile. It's kinda easy to get dates there, but ......well no one is really like you would imagine them. Not that big of a deal, as neither am I probably - but it's just too much hassle first chatting with someone a couple of times, then meeting up and yea. All that and then you feel like it would have probably been better without. Just too much bother lol. And what about turning people down? Oh my god that's the most horrible feeling, I much rather get turned down myself D:

 

I lost my cellphone and haven't used tinder since and I feel like a weight has been lifted off my back. Honestly the best thing about tinder were the few actual friends I got through the app.  As friends I'm most likely going to see them waaayyy longer than as dates.

Edited May 10, 2017 by orange~

[YuyoDrift 1540]

@orange~ 

Is there a website where I could just make IRL friends? LOL

I'm just bored.

Edited May 10, 2017 by YuyoDrift

[orange~ 387]

@YuyoDriftMonochrome Heaven?

[AliceParanoid 292]

Single since 20 years. So my full life haha. 
I kinda lost hope of a boyfriend anyway in my town or anywhere. 
So nah Idc. 
Still would be nice to have a cute and nice BF sometimes. 

Maybe if I get to Berlin hopefully it will change maybe lol Let's see haha.

[YuyoDrift 1540]

8 minutes ago, orange~ said:

@YuyoDriftMonochrome Heaven?

 

Let's try something else haha 

[Bear 1817]

Met a girl on tinder and talked a bit. Found out she was a hardcore gamer and even played the same games as me so we've been gaming and talking a lot these last days. Asked her if she was keen on doing something this weekend but she's working, but she was keen on meeting next weekend. 

 

Lookin' good. Still diggin' tinder.

[Bear 1817]

Got myself a "date" (i fucking hate the word date lol) for tomorrow. If she's just half as fun and nice in real life as she is over discord and snapchat, then this should be real fun. he is incredibly hot as well. Cute as fuck.

 

[The Bread Wolf 231]

On 2017-5-11 at 9:21 AM, Bear said:

Met a girl on tinder and talked a bit. Found out she was a hardcore gamer and even played the same games as me so we've been gaming and talking a lot these last days. Asked her if she was keen on doing something this weekend but she's working, but she was keen on meeting next weekend. 

 

Lookin' good. Still diggin' tinder.

 

20 hours ago, Bear said:

Got myself a "date" (i fucking hate the word date lol) for tomorrow. If she's just half as fun and nice in real life as she is over discord and snapchat, then this should be real fun. he is incredibly hot as well. Cute as fuck.

 

 

I mean no offence, mate, but maybe, just maybe, you should slow down a bit. You've been having more dates than the rest of the forum combined. Perhaps you could start embracing your single-ness and be comfortable with it rather than try so desperately to change your status?

[Bear 1817]

Why was my reply deleted?

 

Anyway, this will be my third "date" in the 6-7 months I've had tinder. Don't see the problem tbh, and I certainly don't see how that's an awful lot.

Edited May 20, 2017 by Bear

[Takadanobabaalien 3607]

If you enjoy going on dates I don't see the problem tbh- 

[Karma’s Hat 3107]

isn't being single like, about going to dates and doing whatever you want? since when has singleness been about some defiant stance against going out.

 

i'm still having fun on tinder because I don't care what happens. I don't think about this stuff at all and I'm enjoying life