Muma 97 Posted April 9, 2014 Forever single for a myriad of reasons, low self esteem, what's considered a general depressive attitude towards the world, socially awkward, that little sarcastic one in the corner... I do get sad about it sometimes I guess, but I think I also have a tendency to mix up wanting close friends with wanting a relationship. -war flashbacks- But then again, unless we have some kind of overlap in interests i'm not good at small talk or the getting to know people thing. If there's stuff I want to talk about and get to know them, it's either music or the inner workings of their mind. Their world view. What do they think of the human race as a whole? What do they live for? Strong beliefs or internal moral conflicts they have regarding life. Which tends to be too intense for a lot of people and puts them off People don't tend to think about stuff like that all the time Yet I tend to be a deep thinker and I spend way too much time inside my own head, I know I should get out more but small talk makes me panic more often than not, especially when in places where people come up to YOU and try and make a conversation and you can't even reply back properly without wanting to know whether they're currently having an existential crisis But even within my friends, I find it hard to make conversations about anything that people usually find interesting Finding that ONE person And just wanting a close friend The line has become increasingly distorted Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RoseOfHizaki 131 Posted April 9, 2014 Forever single for a myriad of reasons, low self esteem, what's considered a general depressive attitude towards the world, socially awkward, that little sarcastic one in the corner... I do get sad about it sometimes I guess, but I think I also have a tendency to mix up wanting close friends with wanting a relationship. -war flashbacks- But then again, unless we have some kind of overlap in interests i'm not good at small talk or the getting to know people thing. If there's stuff I want to talk about and get to know them, it's either music or the inner workings of their mind. Their world view. What do they think of the human race as a whole? What do they live for? Strong beliefs or internal moral conflicts they have regarding life. Which tends to be too intense for a lot of people and puts them off People don't tend to think about stuff like that all the time Yet I tend to be a deep thinker and I spend way too much time inside my own head, I know I should get out more but small talk makes me panic more often than not, especially when in places where people come up to YOU and try and make a conversation and you can't even reply back properly without wanting to know whether they're currently having an existential crisis But even within my friends, I find it hard to make conversations about anything that people usually find interesting Finding that ONE person And just wanting a close friend The line has become increasingly distorted Search no more! Im here my love! 1 Muma reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lestat 2167 Posted April 18, 2014 Oh, my. I'm entirely with Muma on this one. The only mature relationship I've been in (after my sixteenth), lasted only about a month and a half because I didn't want to rush in to sexual activities, and my ex then cheated on me whilst he was on a weekend-trip with friends, just so he could pry it into a hole. But then again, I was sort of delighted that relationship had ended, because the guy was nearly hysterical — overly loud and present, a clown, mostly, and very simplistic. I think the reason why I haven't been in a relationship since is because I simply am not a person who goes out or has friends whom can introduce me to new people. That, and in addition I seek to bond emotionally, and on a nearly spiritual level. Someone with whom I can share my views and visions on humanity and our existence with. Someone with whom I can expand my insights on intellectual conversation to which applies a certain depth. I am terrible at small talk or just generally accepting another's interests if they do not equal my own, thus I have a difficult time challenging myself to dive within the blue yonder and hopelessly become lost in emotion with another person, as I simply haven't found someone like this yet. 1 hiroki reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
whitegrey 115 Posted May 5, 2014 ...but maybe I should just try (not in a creepy way and not "all" of course I mean) 1 Tetora reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
hitsuji-hime 211 Posted May 5, 2014 I'm currently single, because I'm not ready to be involved with anyone else, plus I'm sick of long distance relationships. Been on those too many times, and knowing that I couldn't be face to face with my lover nor speak to them is stressful. I also don't wanna be involved with anyone else that turns out to be either a controlling hardass our just a creep. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lichtlune 915 Posted June 3, 2014 Being in an actual relationship outside of long distance on the internet seems impossible for me. Firstly I'm picky as hell. And finding someone with even a few of the qualities i like is very hard for me. I'm usually only attracted to asian women most of the time and there has to be some sort of connection when it comes to music or some other interest that we can share together. Otherwise i just don't see the point. Eventually whatever short term feelings i have will most likely fade away with time if we have nothing special to share together that we are both passionate about. And then there's Health, hygiene, good character, attractiveness, intelligence, wisdom, open-mindedness, etc which are all important qualities too that someone HAS to have for anything to work long term. Another thing is I've literally lived out in the middle of nowhere and haven't made much contact with anyone let alone any girls around here for more than a couple years by now. Luckily I'm in college now but it's still not enough. I don't think I'll find someone special in some hick town community college. It's sad because i feel that i have a lot to give emotionally and I'm not unattractive or anything. (not being vain) Top all of that off with a little bit of social anxiety and social awkwardness and I'm pretty much hopeless for the time being lol. I've tried to tough it out and pretend that i don't need any real friends, love, and things but really i get so lonely and wish i could experience love. My only way out of this is to just keep working hard towards my dreams and goals and hopefully that person will show up somewhere. Really looking forward to being able to drive and also moving away from this small little town soon. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
togz 2004 Posted June 6, 2014 I'm currently single, and have been for some time. I've dated here and there, but I never felt confident enough to really grasp on to something serious. I just have some serious trust issues that I can't explain, and it's wrong for me to force someone through that crap if they're going to date me, plus it becomes tiresome to try and explain how I feel with out sounding like a bimbo. On top of that I'm kind of a sexual brick. I get really anxious when people get physically close to me, and that kind of stuff can wear down on a relationship. Currently I've paused the dating game since it's really just exhausting and most people my age in this area really only care about hook ups right now and i'm not about that life. . . anymore. Just going to take a step back, focus on me for a few years... or maybe forever. Love is a trap anyway. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RoseOfHizaki 131 Posted June 6, 2014 I dont really hang out (or go out) with random people enough to meet a nice girl. I do meet and speak to some nice girls at work occasionally but its nothing more than a brief chat. The thing with my job is im never really in the same place for too long and im always moving around different places as my job is to cover shifts when people go on holiday or off sick. I used to be a regular at a few places but ive switched departments since then and the longest time ive spent covering somebodies shift is a month. Not really enough time for people to get used to me. Being alone sucks, it gets really depressing, some nights i want to drink myself under and cry like a bitch about how depressing shit is but i end up not touching any alcohol at all because Im not drinking for the right reasons and alcohol will only make the feels worse. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
togz 2004 Posted June 20, 2014 Being alone sucks, it gets really depressing, some nights i want to drink myself under and cry like a bitch about how depressing shit is but i end up not touching any alcohol at all because Im not drinking for the right reasons and alcohol will only make the feels worse. I feel you. You don't even know. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RoseOfHizaki 131 Posted July 7, 2014 Unlike most people. Alcohol doesnt actually solve my problems I get extremely depressed when really drunk unless i totally drink myself under and cannot remember what i did when i wake up.... lol Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nisimaldar 153 Posted August 14, 2014 I've been single my entire life. Never dated a guy. Because I'm 21, it feels weird as fuck! Same here :] I’m 22 and I've never been in a proper relationship. Sometimes I consider being sad about it but then I start questioning why we all should try to partner up to begin with. – For companionship (to not be alone, for selfish reasons?), to share love/ emotions/ life, to experience love? For sex? People say that your partner should be your best friend, but then again, the only pro-relatioship argument that remains is the 'easy sex'. Tbh, I think the most important thing is to love yourself. And other love will find you < /hippie> :] Plus, I’m a bit of a loner with a boner for literature and I regularly need breaks from other people… thus, I have the feeling that I wouldn’t do that well in a relationship. 1 lichtlune reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
doombox 4421 Posted August 14, 2014 Oh, I see I've been missing out on this gem of a thread. Single for like 4 years now. Almost 5. At this point, who is counting... I was engaged to someone a few years back (about 8 years ago), but he was pretty toxic for me. Verbally abusive and full of his own mental issues. But I was young and felt like love should be put above everything, even my own happiness. Which makes no sense at all, but yeah. I learned that love and happiness rarely go hand in hand. OTL That relationship messed me up so bad I haven't been comfortable with anyone for longer than a month or two ever since. Not sure if I'm paranoid or just attract mentally unstable people. Or both. But I really hate being lonely. I'm far past needing to define a relationship or fitting into a social construct of what people expect a relationship to be. I'm just am in dire need of a cuddle buddy, tbh. If anyone feels the need to vent their single life woes and needs to talk to someone, my inbox is totally open. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nuclearnemo 5 Posted August 14, 2014 Same here :] I’m 22 and I've never been in a proper relationship. Sometimes I consider being sad about it but then I start questioning why we all should try to partner up to begin with. – For companionship (to not be alone, for selfish reasons?), to share love/ emotions/ life, to experience love? For sex? People say that your partner should be your best friend, but then again, the only pro-relatioship argument that remains is the 'easy sex'. Tbh, I think the most important thing is to love yourself. And other love will find you < /hippie> :] Plus, I’m a bit of a loner with a boner for literature and I regularly need breaks from other people… thus, I have the feeling that I wouldn’t do that well in a relationship. Harhar i am even older (24) a guy and never had a relationship before...I don't go out and i like to stay at home as well (reading books or playing games). So i will probibly will not meet a girl anytime soon. Not I feel lonely, but i do have the feeling that you miss something sometimes... My parents always say: "Go out and meet girls". But then i will be like, yeah sure...but the kind of girl i like is probibly not going to be there...xD I like geeky girls, bookworms you know....and those are hard to find (and even harder to make them like me...xD)...Don't have high standards, just the girls i know are already in a relationship or are annoying as hell..xD Ah well...single life is fine for now...when it happens it happens... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RoseOfHizaki 131 Posted August 14, 2014 Oh, I see I've been missing out on this gem of a thread. Single for like 4 years now. Almost 5. At this point, who is counting... I was engaged to someone a few years back (about 8 years ago), but he was pretty toxic for me. Verbally abusive and full of his own mental issues. But I was young and felt like love should be put above everything, even my own happiness. Which makes no sense at all, but yeah. I learned that love and happiness rarely go hand in hand. OTL That relationship messed me up so bad I haven't been comfortable with anyone for longer than a month or two ever since. Not sure if I'm paranoid or just attract mentally unstable people. Or both. But I really hate being lonely. I'm far past needing to define a relationship or fitting into a social construct of what people expect a relationship to be. I'm just am in dire need of a cuddle buddy, tbh. If anyone feels the need to vent their single life woes and needs to talk to someone, my inbox is totally open. A man once said... "The walls we build around us to keep sadness out also keeps out the joy." I would cuddle the shit out of some digitalbounce. Im from the group thats quite often misunderstood. To most people i seem like a serious guy, Maybe a little too serious. But even though I have a serious face I can be a complete utter child inside, though Not one of those nagging and needy little sods - Im talking about the ones that play pranks on you and stuff like that and generally just be a pain in the arse though not in a naggy kind of way. I have a serious side to me too and Im no stranger to manmoding stuff if i have to. but I guess having a serious face and being a total child inside makes me a little harder to read and that kinda throws people off. Not that im that interesting of a person of course. I just like people to feel at ease around me, think of me as little cat rather than that big elephant in the room..... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
doombox 4421 Posted August 15, 2014 A man once said... "The walls we build around us to keep sadness out also keeps out the joy." I would cuddle the shit out of some digitalbounce. Im from the group thats quite often misunderstood. To most people i seem like a serious guy, Maybe a little too serious. But even though I have a serious face I can be a complete utter child inside, though Not one of those nagging and needy little sods - Im talking about the ones that play pranks on you and stuff like that and generally just be a pain in the arse though not in a naggy kind of way. I have a serious side to me too and Im no stranger to manmoding stuff if i have to. but I guess having a serious face and being a total child inside makes me a little harder to read and that kinda throws people off. Not that im that interesting of a person of course. I just like people to feel at ease around me, think of me as little cat rather than that big elephant in the room..... I relate to that quote profoundly. I may have to steal that one from you. Come to America and cuddle, dammit. London is so farrrrrr. Sounds like you're childlike in a mischevious way, not insecure? Sorry... I'm unfamiliar with the term "manmoding". Care to elaborate? I can kind of relate to the rest in a way, but more so that the longer I'm alone the less I filter myself so I'm sure I'm even more strange to people whom I meet these days. Which ends up being a vicious cycle. But you sound kind hearted, I'm sure someone will admire that about you when you can finally meet someone. I have similar issues with work. I only see people in the office for maybe an hour and we're all stuck at desks so there's not much conversation going on. I work part time so I'm around much less than everyone else as well. So it's just "hello~goodbye" as I'm coming in and leaving. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RoseOfHizaki 131 Posted August 15, 2014 manmoding means manning the fuck up or just being manly. As for insecurities - I am a little about my body but im trying to fix that next month with regular trips to the gym. I finally managed to get part time at work and its something I really need as i honestly cant stand it and my relations with my manager & other such related staff have deteriorated quite badly. Most days i find it hard to go to work but we all need money to live so it becomes about getting the shift over as quick as possible then getting out. Part of my reluctance to go into work is due to them treating me like crap but what can i do? I hope to be leaving the company soon enough. I just need to distance myself away from all this for a bit to save my sanity. Where abouts in the US are you? Ive been meaning to visit the US for a while now and visit some friends there Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
doombox 4421 Posted August 15, 2014 Oh, I see. Thank you. As for insecurities, I meant more on an emotional level. I think most people are insecure about certain aspects of their body. It's pretty common. But it's good if you're working on those things that bother you. Hopefully you can change the focus to a positive one. That sucks about your work place, hope you can change that soon. I don't really hate my job, it's just super boring. :/ Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RoseOfHizaki 131 Posted August 15, 2014 Insecure on a more emotional level? dont quite get what you mean. Maybe im a little slow or just tired as its coming to 2.30am If you mean crying because nobody wants me then thats something i dont have time for dwelling on such things does bad things to the mind Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
doombox 4421 Posted August 15, 2014 Insecure on a more emotional level? dont quite get what you mean. Maybe im a little slow or just tired as its coming to 2.30am If you mean crying because nobody wants me then thats something i dont have time for dwelling on such things does bad things to the mind You were saying you weren't clingy or needy. People who are clingy like that always read as emotionally insecure to me. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RoseOfHizaki 131 Posted August 15, 2014 I was trying to put being a child into context. Generally though im not clingy or needy. I just like the thought that someones there that shares mh feelings Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RoseOfHizaki 131 Posted August 15, 2014 Just thought id leave this here.... 1 hitsuji-hime reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kawaii_Minpha 194 Posted November 1, 2014 Edit: Message deleted 3 Naaaaani, PsychoΔelica and lichtlune reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Biopanda 2675 Posted November 1, 2014 I'll have to leave this thread finally, since Ishiki-kun has become my mate. Best of luck to y'all. 1 Gaz reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nyasagi 259 Posted November 1, 2014 Ishiki, just make some good friends who will always entertain you, and get this: Being desperate is not good, because you'll end up with a wrong person, not with someone who's the best for you. 2 Gaz and paradoxal reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kawaii_Minpha 194 Posted November 1, 2014 Edit: Message deleted Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
