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CAT5

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Posts posted by CAT5


  1. @Ultra Silvam Hi! I see that you are fairly new to MH, and so firstly, I'd like to greet you and officially welcome you to the site. Thank you for joining us here on MH, and furthermore, I appreciate you being open enough to share your experience with us.

     

    To answer your question in general - no, there's absolutely nothing wrong with asking that question. That's generally something you'd want to establish prior to embarking on a relationship with anyone.

     

    Now to address your situation. I'm going to be straight-up with you. I won't presume to give you any advice, but I will relay to you the truth as I see it, based on the information that you've provided. I apologize in advance if my comments seem harsh or insensitive, but I assure that is not my intention. I empathize with you because I've also been in similar circumstances before, and I know how it feels. So with that in mind, it's my hope that something I say will help you to avoid unnecessary heartache in the future.

     

    There's no easy way to say this, but this guy is not looking for the same thing you're looking for. He said so from the jump:

     

    Quote

    He said he wouldn't mind dating me but that he wasn't looking for anything serious and has other priorities. 

    This is all code for "I'm going to waste your fucking time". Two things to look at here.  #1: He said he "didn't mind" - not "I want to" - showing that he doesn't really care either way. That's NEVER a good basis by which to approach an intimate relationship. If he's not intentional, it's very likely that he's on some bullshit. #2: He said he "wasn't looking for anything serious". What does this mean? What's the point of entertaining a relationship if you're not going to be serious about it? He's basically telling you in so many words, "yeah, I don't mind hanging out and having sex with you, but don't expect me to commit to you". aka. He's going to waste your fucking time.

     

    If your heart is important to you, it's absolutely worth guarding. It's not something that should just be handed out to anyone. You want to be with someone who is intentional and serious about guarding it. Not someone like "i don't really care either way", ya feel me?

     

    Some more things to look at:

    Quote

    he told me he liked me too, but reiterated that he wasn't looking for anything serious.  And that night we ended up having sex unexpectedly

    Words are something else, right? The right ones will make you feel all giddy inside and send you over the moon. Here's a general rule of thumb about people: Listen to them intently. Most people will tell you who they are without even realizing it. But words can also be deceptive. So more importantly than listening to people, you also have to observe their actions and see if they line up with their words.

     

    Check this out. He tells you "he likes you" and reiterates the fact that "he isn't looking for anything serious", but then he proceeds to have "unexpected" sex with you? Many unexpected things happen in life, but sex is never one of them (unless it's rape).  Conventional wisdom won't tell you this, but contrary to popular belief - sex is actually quite serious. Let's examine your own words again:

    Quote

    Even so I feel like my feelings for him have become stronger after this. 

    This world will quickly sale you on the idea of 'casual sex', but I don't believe there is such a thing. And just because it's "the norm" doesn't mean it's functional. Here's why: Sex cannot be divorced from emotion, or family, or responsibility, or respect, or children, or love and so on. The idea of 'casual sex' would have you believe that it's just some standalone act done for fun and pleasure, but sex itself is innately intertwined to too many other critical components of life for that to be so. Your own emotions are a witness to this truth. So it's no wonder that you've developed such feelings for this guy as a result. You've engaged with him in a deeply intimate manner. But it's all good, don't beat yourself up about it. Just know that these things are bound to happen when being intimate with others. So you have to exercise due caution in this area. If a guy is willing to have sex with you, but is not willing to commit to you - what does that say about this guy? And what does it say about you that you'd allow such a guy to have sex with you? There's absolutely NOTHING wrong with having standards. In this world you'll need them.

     

    Let's continue:

    Quote

    This past month though there's been some distance between us, because we haven't seen each other much and have been talking a lot less.  I think i'm still putting in the same effort that I always have, but there were many times this month when I would text him and get no response or ask him to hang out only for him to say that he couldn't, and these things didn't happen before.  It annoyed me a bit but I figured he was just busy with work, or he was going through something rough

    If I had to guess, "busy" is one of the biggest bullshit excuses ever used. Some people do get genuinely busy, but even if they do, they'll let you know that they're busy. You won't have to guess. Likewise, If someone is truly into you, you won't have to guess. Trust what your gut is telling you. You probably already know what the deal is, but whether you want to believe it or not is another story.

     

    A bit more:

    Quote

    All I could say was that I was going through something lately and felt sad, and that it was okay if he can't always respond to me, but that I missed talking to him regularlyHe said we could hang out again but he doesn't know when, although it was before I said that I was feeling sad so I don't know if he still wants to. 

    I'm going to address the text that I highlighted here:

     

    It seems to be me that you're giving this guy way too much leeway to walk over you. If he can't be arsed to communicate with you regularly, what makes you think it will get any better down the road if you WERE to enter a relationship with this guy?

     

    "I'll hang out with you, but I don't know when" - Damn, this guy must be the BUSIEST GUY IN THE WORLD HOLY SHIT!!!! His schedule is just THAT jammed pack that he doesn't know when he'll be able to kick it with you? Fuck outta here bro. This guys is on bullshit and is just stringing you along.

     

    If a guy really likes you - he's going to MAKE time for you. It's as simple as that.

     

    Quote

    I have a lot of questions about this, but I guess my main one is is it okay for me to ask him if he's seeing other people?  Do I have a right to do so or is it none of my business?  I'm not sure if it's appropriate to ask or if I'm just being insecure, but not knowing for sure is upsetting me. I really like him and would like to be with him seriously one day if he's ever ready for it, and right now I have no interest in dating other people myself.

     

    I'm really sorry that you're going through this, and you'll have to excuse my bluntness, but I think the real questions you should be asking is "why am I allowing myself to be treated like this?". "Why am I fawning after someone who has clearly demonstrated that they don't value me?". Seeking the answer to these questions will likely yield you better results. I believe you already know the answers to the questions you want to ask.

     

    Now obviously what you choose to do is completely up to you. There's no harm in expressing your feelings to this guy, but based off of what you've told me so far, he seems highly unlikely to truly reciprocate.

     

    Personally, I think you'd be setting yourself up for undue heartache and should just leave this guy alone before incurring further damage.  He's already made it clear where he stands - and several times at that. Furthermore, his actions have solidified that stance. Take heed to yourself, because I know from experience that we often get lost in the clouds and make the mistake of projecting our own needs, desires, and fantasies on to other people instead of looking directly at what's in front us, and facing reality. In doing so, we often break our own hearts.

     

    Once again, I apologize if I was a bit too coarse with my words, but I do hope you can glean something from this. And if not, that's fine too. Whatever the case, I hope that you're able to learn from the situation - whatever the outcome - and move forward in a good direction.


  2. On 1/12/2019 at 7:12 PM, RaeDesu said:

    HELLO. I'm Rae. I've actually been a member of the forum for a very long time, I've just  never posted. 

     

    My favorite bands are D, Dir en grey, D'espairsRay, MUCC, One Ok Rock!, Versailles, and many others. I'm also an avid cosplayer and nerd. Nice to meet everyone here!

     

    A belated welcome to the forum! I see you've already made yourself at home here! Always good to see D'espa mentioned as a favorite!


  3. What are some truly great Anime OSTs that you all have come across within the past 5 years or so?

     

    One of the OSTs that I've consistently been enjoying is the "MOBILE SUIT GUNDAM THUNDERBOLT" soundtrack, specifically the 2nd one released in 2017. It was scored by Naruyoshi Kikuchi, who is a pretty well known and respected Jazz musician on his own, but has also contributed to a few other anime as well. Dude was even a member of Yoko Kanno's band The Seatbelts - who played most of the Cowboy Bebop OST. Thunderbolt's OST is jazz based as well, but it's still fairly eclectic. When the music in anime works well in AND out of context, and when it supports the animation perfectly without outshining it, yet is still memorable and haunting...those are the qualities of a great OST imo, and Thunderbolt's OST definitely ticked all of those boxes for me. Here are two pieces from the OST that I love:

     

     

    Have any recent anime OSTs really stood out to you all?


  4. 14 hours ago, Jigsaw9 said:

    Never heard these guys, but they seem to sound like an actually listenable Ling tosite sigure because of the vocals, pretty nice! :D 

    fight me, jig 🤣 🤣

     

    but forreal tho - I wasn't feeling these guys when they first came out, but they've stepped up their game tremendously!!!

     

    Their ling worship is HARDCORE too - from the very setup of the band (male vo/gt, female ba/vo, male dr) - to the actual album art and the font they used. If I didn't know any better, I would have assumed that was a ling cover lol. I ain't mad at them tho, cuz they're actually good at what they do!


  5. Thoughts?

    Quote

    Site’s move comes amid continuing pressure over its role as a platform for misinformation and extremism.
     

    YouTube will recommend fewer videos that “could misinform users in harmful ways”, the company announced on Friday, in a shift for a platform that has faced criticism for amplifying conspiracy theories and extremism.
     

    The change concerns YouTube’s recommendations feature, which automatically creates a playlist of videos for users to watch next. The recommendations are the result of complex and opaque algorithms designed to capture a user’s interest, but they have become a locus of criticism when YouTube directs people to potentially harmful and false content that they would not have otherwise sought out.
     

    The company did not provide a clear definition of what it considers to be harmful misinformation, but said that some examples were “videos promoting a phony miracle cure for a serious illness, claiming the Earth is flat, or making blatantly false claims about historic events like 9/11”.

     


    https://www.theguardian.com/technology/2019/jan/25/youtube-conspiracy-theory-videos-recommendations
    https://www.thedailybeast.com/youtube-tweaks-algorithm-to-fight-911-truthers-flat-earthers-miracle-cures
    https://www.washingtonpost.com/technology/2019/01/25/youtube-is-changing-its-algorithms-stop-recommending-conspiracies
    https://www.theverge.com/2019/1/25/18197301/youtube-algorithm-conspiracy-theories-misinformation


  6. 9 hours ago, Tokage said:

    the fuck you talkin about, don't you love being #EMPOWERED?

     

    (in all seriousness though, Pitchfork's descent from 'yeah it's pretty snobbish and all that but at least they still review underground shit' into pure poptimism hell was a sight to behold)

    ahahaha, I should have made it clear that I was talking about hip-hop (and to some extent, popular so-called "black" music in general, but meh). I seen pitchfork promoting some rapper called "XANMAN" on like some "MUST HEAR" type shit, and that shit is just depressing, bruh. I mean, first of all, dude named himself after XANAX, so you already know what tip he's on. But to make things worse, dude is just straight up TRASH. He ain't talkin' bout' shit. He has no actual rapping skill. And dude can't even stay on beat. It was some of the sloppiest shit i've heard. If you're gonna be on some bullshit, AT LEAST make it sound good! 🤣 I was just legit shocked that ANYONE would promote that crap.

     

    But I'm just venting, bruh. There's nothing empowering or redemptive about hip hop in general atm, but at the same time, hip hop isn't the only issue. The real issues are much deeper and more complicated, and the state of hip-hop is just one manifestation of those deeper issues. It's just one cog in the grand machine of decay. Just one portion of the negative feedback loop that we so-called African Americans are stuck in atm.


  7. When I see the cancerous and destructive nonsense promoted by Pitchfork and other major music outlets, It truly does drive home the fact that we have literally no control over our own culture...

     

    From the outside looking in, I'm sure ppl view the music as "just entertainment", but when you witness and experience the disastrous effects it's helped promulgate on a daily basis... it's a different story.

     

    [/Rant]


  8. A few more favorites:

     

    88kasyo is known for sick guitar antics, but this have to be one THEIR best solos ever! You can tell Katzuya is just jamming out here, but it's still badass.

     

    八十八ヶ所巡礼 - 惡闇霧島 (2:40 -ish)

     

    Spoiler

     

     

     

    One of my favorite AYA songs...the solo here isn't anything outlandish, but the melody has always been super catchy and memorable to me.

     

    亜矢 - 禁じられた歌 (3:20-ish)

     

    Spoiler

     

     

     

    Another one of my favorite songs, this time by Tokyo Jihen. The solos during the outro/fade-out just completely pushed this song over the top for me!

     

    東京事変 - 遭難 (2:24-ish)

     

    Spoiler

     

     


  9. 7 hours ago, YuyoDrift said:

    We all know that the GazettE - バレッタ (Baretta)  is one of the most OG solo works to ever exist lol

     

    BROOOOOO!!!! I forgot all about this song! Definitely one of the best from the Gazette. I always liked Uruha and Aoi's sense of melody.

     

    I listened to the other solos you posted and I feel like I got a good sense of the solos that move you...they were mostly very clean-sounding and straightforward, but they seemed to convey a sense of nostalgia too, if that makes any sense!

     

    @Jigsaw9 - I never explored Hotei or BOOWY, but those are definitely cool. I'm especially liking the 2nd one. AND LMAO @ IMAI. I never knew that about him, yet somehow that just seems completely fitting. 🤣

     

    @Ito - CAGE is iconic!

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