Kuro

I had a job centre appointment yesterday and I know it was supposed to be informative/encouraging but all it did was teach me what a load of fucking arseholes the majority of employers are and how much I need to lie on my CV if I'm to ever get a job. Most soul-crushing ninety minutes of my life.

It's a toughie but if you ever want to shoot the shit, feel free to DM me. At times like this your mind can be your own worst enemy and it can help to just purge your brain

thanks, i'm trying my best to hang in there

think depression season is coming early this year for me....

Me again, this time featuring a hat.
 
 
Images may be somewhat mahoosive as they're the first ones I've uploaded here that were taken with my fancy-ass camera, so I put them in a cut.

the GazettE new live DVD/Blu-ray "LIVE TOUR18-19 THE NINTH / FINAL「第九」LIVE AT 09.23 YOKOHAMA ARENA" will be released at 2020/03/04 (4 types)
 
Limited edition A (12045yen) will include Blu-Ray, photobook and documentary
Regular edition A (6727yen) will include Blu-Ray only
Limited edition B (11136yen) will include 2DVD, photobook and documentary
Regular edition B (5818yen) will include DVD only
 
their another live DVD/Blu-Ray "LIVE IN NEW YORK&WORLD TOUR19 DOCUMENTARY THE NINTH [99.999]" will be released at 2020/03/04 (2 types : Blu-ray 6864yen / DVD 5955yen
 
they will hold their 18th anniversary oneman live "18TH ANNIVERSARY DAY/6576" at 2020/03/10 at MUSASHINO FOREST SPORT PLAZA MAIN ARENA
 

 

 
 
 

I don’t want to live in a world where Dimlim disbands while Nazare continues to thrive 

You can see them in any scene. People who grew up listening to somethin in their teen years will stick to that and claim that anything that didn't somehow fuel their teenage angst is worse than watever shit they blasted on while sulking because their teacher hated them or whatever.
 
Just like people who did move on will revisit with nostalgia crappy songs they know are crappy yet love due to said nostalgia. 

One of my friends committed suicide last night. The reality is still setting in.

I came here to talk about my problem with procrastination, and found this video! For me, the problem is that since last year the panic monster just stays quiet, and I am honestly worrying about my future. Because it is not that I don’t care about my studies, I am actually quite motivated. I am just tired of pulling all nighters. I procrastinate on many things in life.
please wish me kuck or my last two papers  that are due soon! 

i'm p sure there's not a way for an intro post to not be hideously awkward but w/e. i've been lurking for the past few days so i figured i should probably make an account. 
 
i got into this kinda stuff ~2004 as a teenager when my dad's job moved us to tokyo, but i dropped out of it in 2012 after i finished university and moved back to the uk. i'm now in the throes of a predictable late 20s crisis so i've been enjoying re-discovering stuff i had forgotten about, and finding a bunch of new things (ty).
 
so hi, nice to meet you, etc.

ベルベット (Velbet) -who disbanded in 2014- will revive for one day at their live "暴動区域【A】極東革命" at 2019/12/22 at Ikebukuro BLACK HOLE
 
[members]
リウキ（Vo）
Kaie（Gt）
ュゥナ（Gt）
猟平（Ba）
ナツカ（Dr）
 
https://twitter.com/velbet_official
 

Finally managed to wash an awful amount of dishes that had just been piling up for days and days. I didn't even know I had so many plates and forks and whatnots... Ahh I wish I had a dishwasher. Or maybe some kind of a servant. Maybe I could hire some cute vkei boy to do the job?

So the job I was interviewed for rejected me. They said I had all the skills they were looking for but I didn’t have the personality they wanted?? 
 
It could just be me, but that seems like a crappy reason. You don’t get to know someone or their personality in half an hour 

Not knowing anything about the educational system in the UK but from your post it doesn't sound any different from Germany's regarding not caring about individual people but just wanting to get everyone out the same. As if people were like that ... Individualism doesn't count at all. Sad but true. In my opinion that's part of the increasing numbers of people suffering from depression, burn-out and a lot more. Everyone shall be as the rest, the bigger part not even be too educated to think for themselves but just follow crap some others came up with. Don't question anything just function. And be able to replace somehow who got sorted out.

My college let me on to the second year of my A-levels despite my pitifully low grades but told me that if I don't improve by October, they'll kick me out. By "improve", I mean write about twice as much in my class essays which for some reason is practically impossible for me. I don't know what it is but no matter how hard I try, I always fail in that regard. I think it's because I'm just not into writing essays unless it's something I'm extremely passionate about and if my heart's not in it, I'm not going to perform well (not to mention they always tell me to write slowly because of my poor handwriting). What is it about that that the education system don't understand? If someone doesn't like it, they ain't gonna do well and we should stop "pushing" them to do well in their subjects (most of which are pointless) and start "encouraging" them to do the things they like and give them a broader subject range from an earlier age. A very cynical part of me hopes they'll kick me out because I just don't want to do it anymore, especially media because that involves doing creative projects by a deadline and sharing them with people which just makes me anxious as fuck.
 
I'm going to try because I wouldn't feel right if I didn't but I almost want to fail. Getting up before 8am doesn't help either because I have insomnia during the night and it just makes me feel like a ragdoll until I can get home and nap for a few hours. I think the only reason I don't just drop out, get a job that suits me and return to my education when I feel a bit more motivated is because I know my family will be disappointed in me if I do that. I know my brother dropped out but his reason was that his course wasn't actually teaching him anything he didn't already know, not "I don't fucking like it". I also know it's technically my choice and I'm normally quite confident when it comes to doing the things I want if I have the option but I just feel kinda restricted right now.
 
My only real motivation to carry on is knowing that the only reason I got held back a year in high school and have had to drag myself through this slog for a year more than I'd like is that my mother took me out of education for a year when I was fifteen so I guess it's largely not my fault (I'd also wager that my terrible sleeping patterns back then are what brought on my insomnia to this day). My grandma even told me today that if she were me, she'd "fuckin' do it just to spite the bitch" (in those exact words, love you grandma x) but is that really right? Like dgmw that was a kick-ass thing to say but would it really be right for me to do something I don't want to do just to spite someone who'll never know about it anyways? I really would like to prove my mother wrong because she thought I was the biggest idiot on the planet but I'm never going to see her again - hell, she doesn't know I'm even at college - so what's even the point? Godfuckit.

Asexuals can have really good relationships and make it work despite the lack of lust.

But I also agree on you, sexual compatibility is quite important, lust levels need to be somehow similar (be it super high or almost nonexistent) or both parties will be often frustrated.

Long post incoming:
 
 

God do you ever get it when you have a project you're working on and it's all going fine and dandy and you know exactly where it's headed but then A NEW IDEA JOINS THE BATTLE but you know you gotta finish the first one before you start on the second one or else you'll never finish either

Hoo, boy. Had two really weird ones last night.
 
In the first one, I started dating this beautiful man and when his birthday came, he received a card from Beyonce. The right side of it was written normally with all the "To X, happy birthday, lots of love from blah blah blah" kinda stuff but the left side was filled with a very strongly-worded paragraph about how much she hated him. She wrote in beautiful cursive with a gold gel pen.
 
In the second one, I went to McDonald's to get some fries and nuggets. Already, this dream was strange because the real me would order an good ol' unhealthy Big Mac in a vain attempt to add some meat to my noodle arms. Anyways, the box of fries had Sizna's face printed on the front which was weird, but not as weird as the fact that his face was also printed on the nuggets. Not the box; the nuggets.

Why not, so y'all can put a face to a username I guess. :'P Here's me normal mode and VK mode lol
 

everyday look
 

serving lewks (at the GazettE concert in Dallas)

They will also release their 2nd full album in December.
No details yet though. 

new look
 

 
they will hold their oneman live "存在証明" at 2019/09/20 at Aoyama RizM