MH FEATURED POLL #43: Do You Have Any Conscious Racial or Ethnic Preferences in Dating?

[mahoujin 395]

I honestly don't really have any conscious physical preferences. This is gonna sound cheesy, but I don't even really feel attracted to people until I get to know them because personality is a huge thing with me. Of course, I look at people and think "oh they're pretty" or something, but I wouldn't really call it the same kind of attraction I'd have for someone I'm dating. Likewise, I've ended up dating people who I didn't initially think were attractive physically, but then later considered them to be because I guess I enjoyed seeing that person and that made them attractive.

[PsychoΔelica 648]

You make it sound like a sport lolol

[inartistic 1151]

white gays love to spit this "im only into white guys.....JUST A preference!!" shit and even the word preference makes my skin crawl. i mean its not realistic to be attracted to everything but don't spit out ur racism/fat-shaming/internalized homophobia/transphobia for a certain race/body type while excluding all others in the name of preferences. it sounds a lot like the tumblr bullshit or complaining for the sake of complaining but when u see how much people are excluded by certain ideals of beauty/attractiveness in a community which is made of misfits rejected by society only to establish their own hierarchy and continue on rejecting others for their looks is upsetting. im not sure how relevant this is in the straight world, they have their own issues to deal with, but i don't like the local gay culture and i stay away from it. i don't mean to start a fight over this and call people racist or whatever, race is complicated; just consider where your "preferences" come from.

That's definitely an issue. There's a difference between, like, being inexplicably turned on by large noses vs telling non-white people to not bother contacting you. Maybe you've only been attracted to white guys up until this point, but how can you exclude entire races from your pool of potential partners? Are you so sure that there's not a single dark-skinned person you'd find attractive?

On the flip side, I think it's also important to be aware of fetishistic preferences. Like, do you just get turned on by typically-Asian features, or are you hoping for an Asian gf because you assume she'll be inherently subservient to you?

Not that good people have to get all ten punches on their “Races I've Fucked” card... but I think it's in everyone's best interest to examine their “preferences” and ask whether they come from a subconscious racist place.

[emmny 4139]

That's definitely an issue. There's a difference between, like, being inexplicably turned on by large noses vs telling non-white people to not bother contacting you. Maybe you've only been attracted to white guys up until this point, but how can you exclude entire races from your pool of potential partners? Are you so sure that there's not a single dark-skinned person you'd find attractive?

On the flip side, I think it's also important to be aware of fetishistic preferences. Like, do you just get turned on by typically-Asian features, or are you hoping for an Asian gf because you assume she'll be inherently subservient to you?

Not that good people have to get all ten punches on their “Races I've Fucked” card... but I think it's in everyone's best interest to examine their “preferences” and ask whether they come from a subconscious racist place.

perfectly said inartistic <3 <3 :hearteyes:

[Lestat 2167]

I bear an attraction to Caucasians and Japanese and Korean people, only. If it would come down to dating, I would say I'd prefer Germanic or Nordic (Scandinavian) features, personality and cultural exposure. I can't really see myself with anyone outside of my own ethnic region and I am personally fine with that. Being with someone who grew up in a completely different environment would make me feel uncomfortable, forced and stressed at most times.

[Bear 1817]

Being with someone who grew up in a completely different environment would make me feel uncomfortable, forced and stressed at most times.

 

Interesting. Why exactly? Just curious.

[Takadanobabaalien 3607]

my mother has said that if I ever dated someone with dark skin she'll have a heart attack/chain me up/murder the poor dude. =/

 

People like this actually exists in 2016? Wow.

[TetsuAkira 289]

I'm attracted to any race/ethnicity. Has no baring on me.

 

I can't tell if that makes me super easy or just really open minded. Hope its the latter!

[Peace Heavy mk II 7200]

As long as we can get along, have a few shared interests, and you can make me think you find me funny, we'll be golden.

 

 

People who brag about fucking their way through the UN are as equally as annoying as "sugar and spice, no chocolate and rice" dudebroz.

[Tokage 5930]

where the heckle are all the posts about how race mixing is the devil's work, cucks and all those other '10s internet buzzwords? THIS THREAD IS TOO TAME

 

anyway yeah as long as we share some interests, you can tolerate my shitty humor and you look qt in glasses it doesn't really matter what race you are :^ )

[peffy 3568]

People like this actually exists in 2016? Wow.

 

Well, my mother was born in China, did not get a great education, and she's rather old, so I don't think it is too surprising. (She also strongly dislikes Japanese people and looks upon my visual kei fanaticism with disdain, because of Japan's brutal invasion of China in the early 20th century...)

 

There are probably a ton of racist white people in America who would be very upset if their child married a black (or non-white) person. Not to mention the continued existence of the KKK and Neo-Nazis...

[Peace Heavy mk II 7200]

Not wanting your child to marry outside of your ethnicity isn't unique to white people in the US.

[peffy 3568]

Yes, true, it's just the first/most prominent example that came to mind.

[desparejo86 160]

People like this actually exists in 2016? Wow.

 

I'd wager that the vast majority of people in the world are like this.

 

I used to go out with a Vietnamese-American girl, and at Thanksgiving her mother told me that white people are fine, but no other race besides white or asian were allowed in the home. She and her relatives there all agreed that if President Obama wanted to come over for Thanksgiving, he'd have to eat in the garage because black people steal. 

 

Like, for real. In 2016..

[Lestat 2167]

Not wanting your child to marry outside of your ethnicity isn't unique to white people in the US.

True. My parents also wouldn't be supportive of me or any of my siblings dating Muslims or someone with dark skin. And we're not Americans.

[Senedjem 510]

Doesn't factor into my attraction to people. Used to though, and it was honestly directly because of a lot of deeply ingrained biases I've worked very, very hard to overcome.

 

Protip: you can in fact actively work on yourself to become a less shitty person!! 

[YuyoDrift 1540]

Just remembered something.

 

I have been completely dismissed on dates (going as far as the 3rd date on one occasion), where the topic of "what nationality are you?" comes up, and then having the opposite sex be completely turned off by my response.

 

I'm not gonna share my story, but just a heads up that there are people who have these convoluted ways of thinking in their head, that they will immediately throw all the excitement of meeting someone new, because of where you/your family are from.

 

Why in the hell would you go on a date with someone, if you are gonna be that shallow? Did you accept the date because of a heat of the moment thing?

[Undead burger 24]

I'm caucasian and I have only dated people from my ethnicity. For sex, it's different I've slept with a chinese guy for a while but it wasn't a "romantic" thing between us, it was just physical if you know what I mean.

 

I've never been attracted by someone with dark skin, but who knows. Maybe one day ?

If I was dating someone with a darker skin color than me, my dad will probably cringe. He have accepted the fact that I'm attracted by girls, but if i was bringing home someone who's not white he won't be happy for sure. I don't think that he will beat the guy/girl but obviously, it would be hard for him. For my mom, after my parents got divorced she get into a relationship with a muslim guy from Tunisia. He's really nice, definitely one of the sweetest person I ever met. So she won't say anything about me dating someone who's not white. Funny fact, since she knows that I love visual kei she was like "omg if you marry a japanese man I will never see my grandchild!"

I'm a very superficial person, so you have to be good-looking to date me, otherwise you don't have any chance. But I also like to be with someone who's smart I will definitely not be able to date a dumb person. It may sound arrogant or kinda selfish but at least i'm honnest about it!

[platy 3018]

I'll date anyone that has an open mind and is culturally educated if that makes sense. I've been with people who are completely ignorant of other cultures and everything I did was weird to them because i'm foreign, that's just a huge turn off. I'm attracted to pretty much any looks/race/whatever but have a slight preference towards mixed race people because i find it easier to relate to them than to purely caucasian people. But in the end, as long as they're aware that there's more to the world than just their country/whatever that's a bonus. 

I can't be with ignorant, dumb or close minded people either, just like the person above said. very small example, someone who looks at visual kei and becomes angry/uncomfortable when i tell them 'nope, they're all guys'. We can be friends, but that kind of reaction tells me a lot about you already.

[gekiai 231]

I braced myself before going through the thread and I've already been somewhat hurt by someone's personal scale of attractiveness (how black people are on the dead bottom of their scale) and it brings back to how the world treats the black woman as one of the most unattractive beings that have ever walked this planet. As a black woman, it's constantly thrown in my face how I don't fit into societal norms of beauty, and though I haven't had much dating experience, I'd like to date someone who shares partially the same struggle as me, or in other words another person of color.

Also remember that "racial preferences" can intersect with fetishizing (and don't even challenge me on this).

[YuyoDrift 1540]

I braced myself before going through the thread and I've already been somewhat hurt by someone's personal scale of attractiveness (how black people are on the dead bottom of their scale) and it brings back to how the world treats the black woman as one of the most unattractive beings that have ever walked this planet. As a black woman, it's constantly thrown in my face how I don't fit into societal norms of beauty, and though I haven't had much dating experience, I'd like to date someone who shares partially the same struggle as me, or in other words another person of color.

Also remember that "racial preferences" can intersect with fetishizing (and don't even challenge me on this).

 

You should not let people's opinions about certain races/ethnicities deter you from ever attempting to date outside your ethnicity. Every race has families who are against their offspring going out and participating in this "promiscuity", which we call dating. I know this too well.

 

You can't place any blame on an individual (even on this forum), due to the fact that who they are/how they think, may have been formed from the method in which they were brought up. You can blame their parents if you feel like it, but those parents probably went through the same thing. 

 

It will be a while before racial preferences will become a thing of the past, but we ARE getting there. We sure as hell aren't going through what our parents did 30-40 years ago (people were severely beaten/mutilated for god's sake) and I am thankful for school/work/social events of today for allowing multicultural families to attend these locations/events. It's what makes America so great. Assimilation will occur and your children will have an easier time, and only be classified as "American".

 

As far as how you feel about the current situation African-American women face in terms of dating, you're not wrong, it's plain to see. Yet, it's not difficult to look past either. You have this idea (and eveyone else in general) placed in your mind, that "this race" and "those people" are somehow more inferior to others. 

 

I blame the media, who here in Chicago for example, take full advantage of every little occurrence in every minority neighborhood (I hate saying minority, but I feel it's easier for you to understand what I'm saying) in order to establish exposure/ratings on their fucking channel. Hell, even social media online is becoming the same way.

 

I was fortunate enough to go to a public school, where the variety of races was even in every class. Perhaps that is why I formulate thoughts the way I do. I see everyone as an open book, and the more closed off you are, the more it is apparent to someone that you wanna fade in the background.

 

You wanna change the way people look at you? Make yourself noticed. Strike a conversation, regardless if ends in success or not. The point is you attempted to leave this niche you made (or were placed in) and change the way people perceive your kind.

 

Sorry that was long. I just have so much experience in this, that I feel I need to share. I am by no means social (I hate you all), but I know when to be kind when it's needed.

[Chi 2624]

i am caucasian and i've dated and had crushes on several different ethnicities but i am currently not attracted to anyone or anything

 

my dad said once i can like asian music all i want but that i shouldnt show up with a black or asian boyfriend at home. ofc it is hard to change old people's minds (my dad is 80) but he knows idgaf about what he said and will date anyone i want however he has been really rude to friends of mine -saying he thought they were "suspicious"- and subjects like these are often why i have fights with him or just turn off my brain and pretend im not listening.

 

my mom is different thanks to her being so active on the internet and actually following and embracing all the equality movements that have been happening. but even before she became more "internet savvy" she told me i could date whoever i want.

[gekiai 231]

You should not let people's opinions about certain races/ethnicities deter you from ever attempting to date outside your ethnicity. Every race has families who are against their offspring going out and participating in this "promiscuity", which we call dating. I know this too well.

 

You can't place any blame on an individual (even on this forum), due to the fact that who they are/how they think, may have been formed from the method in which they were brought up. You can blame their parents if you feel like it, but those parents probably went through the same thing. 

 

It will be a while before racial preferences will become a thing of the past, but we ARE getting there. We sure as hell aren't going through what our parents did 30-40 years ago (people were severely beaten/mutilated for god's sake) and I am thankful for school/work/social events of today for allowing multicultural families to attend these locations/events. It's what makes America so great. Assimilation will occur and your children will have an easier time, and only be classified as "American".

 

As far as how you feel about the current situation African-American women face in terms of dating, you're not wrong, it's plain to see. Yet, it's not difficult to look past either. You have this idea (and eveyone else in general) placed in your mind, that "this race" and "those people" are somehow more inferior to others. 

 

I blame the media, who here in Chicago for example, take full advantage of every little occurrence in every minority neighborhood (I hate saying minority, but I feel it's easier for you to understand what I'm saying) in order to establish exposure/ratings on their fucking channel. Hell, even social media online is becoming the same way.

 

I was fortunate enough to go to a public school, where the variety of races was even in every class. Perhaps that is why I formulate thoughts the way I do. I see everyone as an open book, and the more closed off you are, the more it is apparent to someone that you wanna fade in the background.

 

You wanna change the way people look at you? Make yourself noticed. Strike a conversation, regardless if ends in success or not. The point is you attempted to leave this niche you made (or were placed in) and change the way people perceive your kind.

 

Sorry that was long. I just have so much experience in this, that I feel I need to share. I am by no means social (I hate you all), but I know when to be kind when it's needed.

I apologize since I don't know how to break up quotes

 

This wasn't exactly what I was getting at but I'll answer. I feel that "well there parents/family may be that way" is an excuse to an extent. Like there's liberal people my age and their parents are die-hard conservatives or the fact that my family is highly homophobic and I'm actually LGBT and have plenty of friends who associate with it (even before I discovered this about myself). 

 

Like man, it's 2016, if people are still perpetuating colorist and superiority attitudes in regards to races and their features, then I'm really not going to be lenient with them. I can say many of us in the forum are old enough to have our own independent thoughts from our families and if they think that way...well, it says a lot about as a person. I can't stand it, and I feel no need to change myself or speak up. I already don't fit into the horribly incorrect stereotype society has painted of black females (angry, loud, voluptuous, "ghetto"), I'm pretty much the exact opposite of it. I've even had men of other races hit on me saying "you're not like the others" and I'd literally not care about them from that point on because those others are my friends, sisters, and my family. It's truly disgusting. 

 

I never said I wouldn't date outside race, either. I'm saying that I couldn't see myself dating a more "dominant" race because they will not understand my struggle at all. I've already made that mistake once and I won't make it again.

[kyoselflove 2680]

Nope...but I happen to have a preference of Toshiya, is he his own race? Yes....I think so.  Cause he's a fucking perfect alien.

 

But seriously, nope. I got a mixed baby yo, and that automatically makes her the cutest, don't cha know? #mixedlove #thisisfun #whateves #toshiyapls

[blackdoll 907]

alien.

 

But seriously, nope. I got a mixed baby yo, and that automatically makes her the cutest, don't cha know

I also love hot alien looks

 

and mixed mofos are awesome