Single People Thread

[paradoxal 2948]

your armpits?

 

No... 

[Zeus 7997]

No... 

 

[Biopanda 2675]

No... 

[Lestat 2167]

I shave every day when I shower? It's just an automatic thing that occurs without much given thought to it. I dislike it when I have hair growing everywhere so I don't even get the No Shave November thing. It's gross.

[togz 2004]

definitely her back hairs then ( I didn't know you had back hair para D: )=____= I'm 12 what are private bits?

[ghost 2687]

I forgot I was reading the Single People thread...

but yah I'm single *whoot whoot*

[PsychoΔelica 648]

It's the single epilation thread

[stylelover 1086]

back in this thread soon. and probably forever then.

[allisapp 303]

back in this thread soon. and probably forever then.

 

</3

 

I have been single for couple of months now. Maybe it's better to be single for some time, even though I wouldn't mind doing some cuddling and stuff :'D If I am being honest, I think I am way too selfish to have a proper relationship - at least right now. I have been always very uncertain about myself, so I think my biggest problem was that I jumped into the relationship just because "someone noticed me". Hopefully that will change. 

[beni 2149]

I think I blushed throughout the whole previous page. Spotted this thread and thought, I can't leave out not having posted anything in the thread that sums me up completely: Forever alone. xD 'Never Been Kissed' is the movie I can relate to myself 100% hah. I'm way too awkward to be in a relationship anyway, and far too negative. I remember watching a comedian who said 'when you're feeling that low about yourself, you know the only girl you can pick up is one of those insecure, shy ones.' Or something like that. Didn't cheer me up haha. I always remember regretting having confessed to this one boy who accepted me when I asked him out. It lasted the few minutes left we had of lunch that day before I told him it wouldn't work... xD I'm.. lame, yeah, I know. I got way to shy, worried and anxious.. But, happy ending, he's now a sex freak and I'm as far away as I can be from him so it all worked out I think (since I'm asexual). Learnt my lesson; don't fall for anyone and think they'd accept you when you haven't accepted yourself. And I know this is contradicting.. slightly, but, people are way too negative about themselves when they shouldn't be. Looking at you above stylelover. You too fab.

[Nyasagi 259]

I don't like when people say stuff like this, because it lowers my self esteem even more... it basically means that people who dislike themselves, don't deserve to be loved.

[togz 2004]

I don't like when people say stuff like this, because it lowers my self esteem even more... it basically means that people who dislike themselves, don't deserve to be loved.

^

this so much.

[beni 2149]

I apologise if I hurt or annoyed you two and anyone else. Meant no offense and certainly didn't want to make anyone feel bad because no one should feel that way about themself. I have people tell that to me all too often that I'm not good enough so this was just directed at myself because I have no confidence or self belief. I guess when you're told enough times about something you end going with it sadly, in my case.

[togz 2004]

I apologise if I hurt or annoyed you two and anyone else. Meant no offense and certainly didn't want to make anyone feel bad because no one should feel that way about themself. I have people tell that to me all too often that I'm not good enough because I have no confidence or self belief at all but I don't believe that myself as you've said.

ah nah i didn't take it that way that you meant that. It was just in reference to what you quoted. But this applies to more than just relationships. Granted it's tough to try and be the support for someone who is less confident... but they have their mind made up that they aren't good enough already, so sometimes people say things like "Maybe if you smiled more, maybe if you cared more, maybe if you loved yourself more..." I don't think it's a matter of people who dislike themselves don't deserve to be loved because they are.... but from personal experience... I think when you're so focused on yourself not being perfect you become more obsessed with the fact that you can't love yourself and you forget to LET or SEE other people love you. It's a toxic black tar that fills your veins and really blinds you from anything outside your own mind. 

 

It's hard though, to get out of that mode where you can't stand to look at yourself, you don't care if you sleep until the sun goes back down, you either hate food or love it way too much (and the outcome isn't very effective to your mood either), you feel exhausted just from talking to people so you make excuses to avoid seeing them, you get headaches literally from thinking too much and picking apart each flaw you have physically and mentally which creates a trail of thoughts reflecting on past life decisions and how you won't be able to change things. It's hard to get out of that mode where over active thinking is why you can't sleep at night and when you do sleep it's because you've been up for more than 48 hours. It's hard to find a reason to start caring about things that don't seem to matter anymore because they don't matter because they failed to get you to where you wanted to be and you're too tired to step outside and try something new today because life is a little more understandable and comfortable inside the walls you build up to block out the world.

 

There's that pretty cliche saying, "You can't love anyone until you love yourself."

 

This is true. It doesn't mean you have to be enthusiastic to the point that your ego is over 9000, no. It just means that you need to care about yourself enough to trust, compromise, understand, need, want, give, take... and most of all you need to be able to be selfish sometimes. How CAN you feel these things if you're too busy shutting the world out? 

Of course everyone deserves to be loved, but not everyone lets themselves be loved.

 

EDIT: This post got way deeper than I originally planned, and I apologize. I've personally found someone very patient with me (even during my breakdowns) and even though he doesn't know it.... has helped me accept myself in many ways. No we're not together so yes I'm still allowed to post in the singles thread D<

[lichtlune 915]

Honestly I see myself being single for many years in the future. I have literally nothing going for me and I'm not doing well in college now. I also live with my parents and have no car or plan for the future really. I don't see how any girl would have much faith in me or love me. My confidence is also at an all time low lately. Until I'm satisfied with my life and the direction I'm going I just can't see myself in any kind of relationship. 

[beni 2149]

ah nah i didn't take it that way that you meant that. It was just in reference to what you quoted. But this applies to more than just relationships. Granted it's tough to try and be the support for someone who is less confident... but they have their mind made up that they aren't good enough already, so sometimes people say things like "Maybe if you smiled more, maybe if you cared more, maybe if you loved yourself more..." I don't think it's a matter of people who dislike themselves don't deserve to be loved because they are.... but from personal experience... I think when you're so focused on yourself not being perfect you become more obsessed with the fact that you can't love yourself and you forget to LET or SEE other people love you. It's a toxic black tar that fills your veins and really blinds you from anything outside your own mind. 

 

It's hard though, to get out of that mode where you can't stand to look at yourself, you don't care if you sleep until the sun goes back down, you either hate food or love it way too much (and the outcome isn't very effective to your mood either), you feel exhausted just from talking to people so you make excuses to avoid seeing them, you get headaches literally from thinking too much and picking apart each flaw you have physically and mentally which creates a trail of thoughts reflecting on past life decisions and how you won't be able to change things. It's hard to get out of that mode where over active thinking is why you can't sleep at night and when you do sleep it's because you've been up for more than 48 hours. It's hard to find a reason to start caring about things that don't seem to matter anymore because they don't matter because they failed to get you to where you wanted to be and you're too tired to step outside and try something new today because life is a little more understandable and comfortable inside the walls you build up to block out the world.

 

There's that pretty cliche saying, "You can't love anyone until you love yourself."

 

This is true. It doesn't mean you have to be enthusiastic to the point that your ego is over 9000, no. It just means that you need to care about yourself enough to trust, compromise, understand, need, want, give, take... and most of all you need to be able to be selfish sometimes. How CAN you feel these things if you're too busy shutting the world out? 

Of course everyone deserves to be loved, but not everyone lets themselves be loved.

 

EDIT: This post got way deeper than I originally planned, and I apologize. I've personally found someone very patient with me (even during my breakdowns) and even though he doesn't know it.... has helped me accept myself in many ways. No we're not together so yes I'm still allowed to post in the singles thread D<

 

I must apologise again then for having not understood what you were referring to. Only hope Nyasagi meant the same too since I didn't want to make anyone sad. I totally get what you're saying though, you've put it in very good words. Very relatable terms as well and that's what makes me sad is that others feel the same way. I remember someone saying something like 'love when you're happy with your life because you don't want to fall in love with someone when you yourself are at the bottom.' Something like that, which I think is just as helpful advice. Be happy with yourself and where you are before anything else. Should try to remember all of this more often and not doubt anything! I feel a lot better reading what people like you have to say because it makes you realise and remember and I hope others can feel the same way some time. So don't apologise for getting your point across, your post was more helpful than you think. I'm really happy to have read what you said at the bottom but then went back to phase 1 at the end. D': Still, it's really refreshing to know there are people like that out there. I hope everyone who has commented on here keeps believing then. I get enough of this kind of thing in college and from myself. xD So I want to see more happy people! (That's a warning, no coming back here you guys!)

And saying sorry again for misunderstanding and spamming. "><

[stylelover 1086]

slightly, but, people are way too negative about themselves when they shouldn't be. Looking at you above stylelover. You too fab.

 

Im not really negative in terms of judging myself.. its more like being realistic. Stuff like that was way easier in the past. I just dont have any chances to meet new people. I dont go to discos usually and thats more or less the only way nowadays to meet people ?_? i dont think i met anyone new in the last 1-2 years. So its just a matter of not even meeting new people in my case. Cant find love or anything if you work all day and then browse through mh and last.fm in the evening

[Nyasagi 259]

benibana, it wasn't directed at you, because many people repeat the same thing again and again, which annoys me. I totally disagree with it, because not being completely passive doesn't mean you don't have a low self esteem. You may not love yourself, but you can still take care of yourself and allow yourself to feel happy. I think it would be more correct to say: "You can't love anyone, until you let them love you too." Even when you don't love yourself, you may be open to positivity, that's the point here.

 

If someone rejects the other person's love, then it's difficult and discouraging. For example, when someone I'm close to is upset and I want to cheer them up, it annoys me when they repeat they're alone and don't even notice I'm giving them attention. I can understand that attention of strangers don't matter much, but if it's a friend, it's frustrating. I think the same works with love. When someone is too negative, they don't even want to see they're being loved... but not all miserable people behave this way. Telling someone with a low self esteem that they don't deserve to be loved, because they don't love themselves, makes them feel even worse.

[beni 2149]

Im not really negative in terms of judging myself.. its more like being realistic. Stuff like that was way easier in the past. I just dont have any chances to meet new people. I dont go to discos usually and thats more or less the only way nowadays to meet people ?_? i dont think i met anyone new in the last 1-2 years. So its just a matter of not even meeting new people in my case. Cant find love or anything if you work all day and then browse through mh and last.fm in the evening

 

Oh I see. I took it in that way, sorry for the misunderstanding. I keep doing that! I totally get what you're saying, I feel the same way. I'm still in college so people always say there's loads more chances to meet other people. So if others can say that about me, I'm sure that's the same with you. I'm not a fan of travelling but I'd like to go to other places to meet people outside of this area. I don't really believe in fate but just naturally meeting people in the streets happens all the time, right? Just because you don't have that much of an active lifestyle (I mean, socially, like what is expected, going out at night to parties and such) doesn't mean you won't meet anyone else, anyone who could be your partner. At least to me. I feel like this is the 'forever alone' meme, you're being silly. xD

 

benibana, it wasn't directed at you, because many people repeat the same thing again and again, which annoys me. I totally disagree with it, because not being completely passive doesn't mean you don't have a low self esteem. You may not love yourself, but you can still take care of yourself and allow yourself to feel happy. I think it would be more correct to say: "You can't love anyone, until you let them love you too." Even when you don't love yourself, you may be open to positivity, that's the point here.

 

If someone rejects the other person's love, then it's difficult and discouraging. For example, when someone I'm close to is upset and I want to cheer them up, it annoys me when they repeat they're alone and don't even notice I'm giving them attention. I can understand that attention of strangers don't matter much, but if it's a friend, it's frustrating. I think the same works with love. When someone is too negative, they don't even want to see they're being loved... but not all miserable people behave this way. Telling someone with a low self esteem that they don't deserve to be loved, because they don't love themselves, makes them feel even worse.

 

Dx I did it again, I'm really sorry! Made you have to explain yourself too. Sorry! This thread will just be me apologies, I'll be on my way after. You won't believe how worried I was, thinking I had upset you so thank you for responding. You make a lot of sense and I agree. I agree with what you quoted too, I just pretty much agree with everything. ''>< I find it hard to explain as well as yourself so this kind of response is probably pointless but I just want you to know I understand. I say what I said on my first post quite a lot so I know it must be annoying, but I only mean it in relevance to myself. I even say it because I find it comical now, better to make a joke out of something then get upset by it right? I used to have friends like that and it upset me too when they'd always say they're alone when I was with them. But then I remember I say the same thing. It's like when friends say they're bored when they're with you, it hurts and they don't realise that. I think, with time, we'll get better. Actually, I remember a case where a suicidal man was about to jump of a building but one talk with a female stranger and a kiss from her saved his life. This is pretty flimsy in relevance to what we're talking about but I know strangers can be just as supportive as friends and families, I believe that. Even online connections are important to us, in my opinion. We can all make a difference to someone at any time. Everyone is different so I know I shouldn't say anything such as what I said in case it looked like I was labelling everyone. 

[Nyasagi 259]

Stop apologizing, you aren't doing anything wrong. If I didn't want to explain anything, I just wouldn't.

 

People don't know how to love themselves, when no one shows them how to love. To be able to love, you have to learn it. (I don't know how to love, I don't like my kind of love. It's like walking around in the dark panicked, bumping into stuff, and being obsessed with the thoughts of getting out.)

 

When your friends make you feel lonely, maybe they aren't good for you? I'd rather be alone, than hang out with wrong people. I value only the ones I completely get along with, who don't make me lonely and uneasy, who understand me, and whom I can understand too.

 

Strangers may be more supportive than family, in my opinion. My feelings related to the "family" word are rather mistrust, pain. That's because I can't rely on my family. Every case is different.

[Incogneeto 23]

There's that pretty cliche saying, "You can't love anyone until you love yourself."

 

Problem is, I allocated so much of my total love for myself that I can't be bothered to try loving someone else.

 

 

Q: How does a relationship start?

A: When two people ascertain their mutual love.

 

Q: What is love?

A: Feeling good from showing affection and doing things for someone you're attached to.

 

Love and relationships are way, way, wayyy sugarcoated and glorified.

You feel happy by loving someone when that love means hurting others for the sake of the one you like?

I must say, I don't find that nice at all. Loving people isn't my thing.

Let's stop love.

For the sake of equality.

 

Jokes aside, my indifference attitude towards people is probably the reason I've never gotten into a relationships. Maybe I should try changing myself.

...But on second thought, it's too much of a bother.

Since I have yet to face any grave crisis from not having a partner in the 17 years I've lived, let me procrastinate.

Staying single is best.

[Nyasagi 259]

You feel happy by loving someone when that love means hurting others for the sake of the one you like?

It sounds like you got friendzoned and you're bitter over it, tbh.

[Incogneeto 23]

It sounds like you got friendzoned and you're bitter over it, tbh.

 

Unfortunately, I've never exactly 'fell' for someone so that never happened.

 

The friendzone thing itself is stupid, though.

[Flame-X 441]

Single life feels great. So much to do...

[beni 2149]

I don't mind being single. It's just, most of the time, I really need someone to hug but everyone I know either hates hugs or has some kind of excuse when I ask to be hugged. D':

Oh my god, nobody wants a hug from me *cries*