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Feeling self conscious when talking to people lately and feeling annoying and then being told by people that they actually really like me and want to be friends. ._.

 

.__.

 

 

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I'm making pancakes. At midnight. Because I felt like it. I love living alone, I can do whatever I want whenever I want without anyone stopping me.

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Like a week ago my laptop got broken AND my external HDD with all of my music collection died. Good side is it was really unorganised, so if I'll be able to get all of it again at least it will be nice and neat.

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Is that how little 4 years of friendship meant to you?? ONE thing changes, and suddenly you don't want anything to do with me??

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I got f*cked by an advert today. 

 

There's this ad on TV about, like... this lady eating yogurt, like, plain yogurt, and claiming how delicious and creamy it is and I thought to myself, oh, well, I don't really like plain yogurt but this advert is clearly suggesting this particular yogurt is good for eating just as it is (versus usually plain yogurt adverts adding berries or some shite into the yogurt or whatever). So I bought the damn yogurt thinking I could just eat it straight from the tub as it was.

 

Newsflash, it's still plain yogurt. Nothing creamy or delicious about it. It's plain yogurt. 

 

Effin advertisements. 

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"What the hell are these "Bitcoins"??? Must be like coke rewards or something. Eh."

- Yuyo, 2009 (maybe 2010).

 

When I think about potentially having over $100,000 USD in that old Hard Drive that took a shit ........ just fucking great. 

Seriously, fuck.

 

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6 hours ago, YuyoDrift said:

"What the hell are these "Bitcoins"??? Must be like coke rewards or something. Eh."

- Yuyo, 2009 (maybe 2010).

 

When I think about potentially having over $100,000 USD in that old Hard Drive that took a shit ........ just fucking great. 

Seriously, fuck.

 

reminds me of people at work who believe bitcoin and altcoins are all scams. sure, stay on shore and miss the boat boi.

 

i don't believe it's the mecca of money making but i fail to understand how one can be a paragon of capitalist market forces and not believe that a digital stock market can exist. value lies were people believe it does.

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53 minutes ago, Zeus said:

value lies were people believe it does.

I sure learned that the hard way.

My family has a bad history of missed opportunities actually, to make a quick buck. lol.

I also regret not jumping on FB stock when shares were minuscule. Lol.

I don't think anyone thought they'd last any more than MySpace did.

 

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I made friends with an older woman who used to be really into visual kei ten or so years ago. I told her to look up Gackt's instagram account when we got talking about where certain vk dudes are now.

 

Haha. Ha.

 

I think I might be developing a crush on a guy I barely know and he seems genuinely sweet... but he has super low self esteem. *WHY* am I overwhelmingly attracted to either extremely eccentric men and/or guys with low self esteem? It's not even a bad thing, it's just after being in relationships with men who projected their insecurities and confidence issues onto me I'm just afraid of experiencing that again.

Edited by jiji94

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Maybe seeing an old 'friend'[Tbh. Idk if we were at any time friends since we know each other or not] tomrrow.
My mood just turned into shit cause I'm not sure how it will go out when we really meet up[There kind off happend a lot and everyone would tell to to fuck off with him and forget him/kick him out of my life] 
I just dk what to do now like I really want to meet up with him again but on the other side he kind off treats me like shit[That's one reason why I'm scared for tomorrow.] 
I feel so helpless-stupid and sad now. :sad:

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(To myself) Bitch, it's only a puppy crush; he'll be graduating in a few months. Yes, his tattoos are attractive as well as his hair, his smile, and his clothing style, especially with that Against Me! patch on his denim jacket. Remember, he's most likely straight so don't waste any damn time.

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Someone compared my boy Yongguk to Gackt and called the latter gorgeous and I'm horrified. HORRIFIED. I thought they had to be joking, but apparently they weren't alone in this opinion. They literally have nothing appearance-wise in common, and since when was Gackt still relevant??? 

 

On an unrelated note, I just start birth control because my monthly gift has been nothing but trouble since I've gotten older. I'm not getting any PMS signs until the day of and the pain has gotten worse, so my doctor finally talked me into trying it. Idk if it's supposed to work right away, I noticed after the first pill I felt weird af but my mood has been substantially better??? I have horrid moodswings. Omg is this shiz gonna help with breast pain before periods? I can't even hug people, it hurts so bad.

 

I'm pretty horrified by the shaming of people for taking birth control. 

Edited by jiji94

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So the terrible "White Elephant" Christmas Gift Exchange makes its return here at work.

Fuck.

I think I'm gonna by a broom and put it in a big box. Lol.

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18 hours ago, jiji94 said:

On an unrelated note, I just start birth control because my monthly gift has been nothing but trouble since I've gotten older. I'm not getting any PMS signs until the day of and the pain has gotten worse, so my doctor finally talked me into trying it. Idk if it's supposed to work right away, I noticed after the first pill I felt weird af but my mood has been substantially better??? I have horrid moodswings. Omg is this shiz gonna help with breast pain before periods? I can't even hug people, it hurts so bad.

 

I'm pretty horrified by the shaming of people for taking birth control. 

Effects can be completely different with everyone. As for me it has gotten my life a lot easier! :"D Pretty much no pain at all, shark week has lessened to (at most) three days, no mood swings etc. Plus nowaways I use pills so that shark week happens only six times/year. 

 

You will notice the lasting affects after about a year of using, the first three months at least might show stuff that may not stick with the rest of time. Like I said, it's different for everyone. All I can say that try using this specific pill for ~3 months or more before you try changing it to other one. Different pills might have different affects.

 

Affect... Effect :x

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6 hours ago, allisapp said:

Effects can be completely different with everyone. As for me it has gotten my life a lot easier! :"D Pretty much no pain at all, shark week has lessened to (at most) three days, no mood swings etc. Plus nowaways I use pills so that shark week happens only six times/year. 

 

You will notice the lasting affects after about a year of using, the first three months at least might show stuff that may not stick with the rest of time. Like I said, it's different for everyone. All I can say that try using this specific pill for ~3 months or more before you try changing it to other one. Different pills might have different affects.

 

Affect... Effect :x

Thanks. :) I'm really hoping it helps. The fact it's causing mild panic attacks almost immediately after taking them has me a bit worried but hopefully that goes away. Really amazed how steady my mood is though, I'm hoping it stays this way because before and during my time of the month I experience pretty bad bouts of depression and just feel really "off". So far so good.

 

---

So I started listening to PLASTICZOOMS after YT must've recommended them to me at least a hundred times. lol I'm not exactly sure how I feel about their music but somehow I *really* like them. Although I can't stop laughing over how much Sho looks like a more hipster version of Ryutaro (also he's openly bi? That's pretty cool). I'm really, really attracted to Tom's legs. I have never learnt so much about a band so fast in like, years. I'm confused as to why they have so many international fans though because they seem pretty indie. 

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15 hours ago, jiji94 said:

Really amazed how steady my mood is though, I'm hoping it stays this way because before and during my time of the month I experience pretty bad bouts of depression and just feel really "off". So far so good.

It is funny, I started taking the pill recently and I think it has given me worse mood swings. I was always very chill, or at least able to hide it when I was annoyed/angry, but now I find that I will snap and show that I'm pissed off.

Other than that, I think the effects from the pill have been very positive.

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