少女椿

Trying to stay cute while thinking about my perspectives being a good mom (to be honest I'm extremely sick, both mentally and physically) Well... who knows...

I was busy with christmas gift for my prescious love, and bought little treasures for myself... I'm a rare guest here, if you're interested in my collection updates, I'm trying to stay active here.

The fuck is going on, but right in the timing i want to kill myself I found out I'm pregnant. Jesus, what a year...

It's so fun to see when people are mourning when celebrities talks about depression or committed suicide, but when it comes to the closest relationships, friends, parents, they always, like, "you? Depression? Pff, no", when I'm trying to describe my feelings and thinking about suicide, trying to get help, everyone pretending that nothing happens at all. I dont want to deal with it. When I was 15, I thought it would be good to die at 35. I'm turning 28 next week, and the last couple of weeks my mind was changed. Doesn't matter how hard I try, I'm tired. I have no interest in life. Tired to change myself for being good for everyone, to be worth to hear a single cheerful word. I'm not sure I want to wait until 35. If life brings nothing but pain, there's no reason to wait? Too deep thoughts for the lunch break, huh... I'm working with people who turned 95, 98, 100, 102. I'm here I am, almost 28, moving like a puppet doll, emotionless, trying to hide tears. Forgot how to live without "I want to die, I want to die, I want to die" in my head, every day, every fucking second.

Why it's so hard to stop spending money on clothes...

Literally my life.

Nostalgic.

Your daily dose of your personal retro manga girl Trying to catch birthday mood, ah...