Manji 卍

I used to not be, until I considered a possibility we might instead of being in oblivion, come back endlessly and be forced to live again and again.

I mean even if it's not technically us and we're not really aware...but coming back to live as a human ever again who may be in even shittier conditions, or be ignorant, uncreative, cruel or unquestioning of how fucked society is, is way scarier than death.
I'm not religious, but I can't not think of it that way as a transfer of energy or something. And what if all the people who've claimed to regressed to their past life in deep meditation aren't just in elaborate hallucination, no thanks. Oblivion for me.

@colorfuljinsei I really hate any kind of religion,but it's tough for me to be "totally" atheist,cuz I already saw a girl possessed right before my eyes. So, unfortunately the "beyond" isn't necessary a fantasy. If I had absolute sure that hell or things like that doesn't even exist, I'd be certainly dead by now,but this kind of thought keeps holding me back

i do not value life too much and i also believe that there is a certain flow of energy so a "soul" or whatever you call it won't vanish completely. but as a biological organism i'm afraid af and it's only natural. would be fun to overcome instincts but i can't.