jaymee

While that is really unfortunate, I feel like this person didn’t really have a good grasp on how things “work” here. Which is not to blame her, but just point out some things to keep in mind.
 
Lying to the BOE or customers about experience is pretty normal for any dispatch company or eikaiwa. I mean, honestly telling your clients/customers you’re taking their money for what essentially is on the job training for a new ALT or instructor through their lessons wouldn’t really set well with anyone. (Would you want to pay a hefty sum of money to be taught by a total newb? Probably not.)
 
Also, when you work for a dispatch company you aren’t actually a proper employee. You’re hired as a subcontractor for the dispatch company, which is contracted by the school to fill xx amount of days work per year.
 
Basically it means you legally can’t accept directives etc from the school - all of that and other communication must all come from the dispatch company. This is why Int*rac was upset she went to the school directly with her concerns. Also I’m sure the Aya chick acted out because the whole debacle made her lose face and/or the company would have rather her quit (accomplished through bullying, etc.) than pay a severance package by firing her if the company or the school had deemed her “problematic” for making waves. (Which seems likely from what she described.)
 
The reason dispatch companies hire ALTs as subcontractors is so the company can get out of giving paid sick leave, paying part of your insurance, contract bonuses, etc. The government is aware of this but they usually turn a blind eye unless a major scandal breaks out or it becomes a labor union case. And, of course, one reason they mostly hire new university graduates with little experience in Japan is so that they’re unlikely to be aware of how badly they’re getting ripped off.
 
So what I mean is that while Int*rac does suck and the salaries, training, and support they offer are abysmal, they aren’t any better or worse than your average dispatch/eikaiwa company here. I’ve worked for them before and at least they don’t work you without a visa and they pay on time. Whether you have a good experience with them or not depends highly on the branch (area in Japan) you get employed under, your attitude, and your school(s).
 
Additionally getting “groped” is pretty normal, especially by younger children. (It’s not uncommon for random strangers to touch my hair or old ladies to have a go at my boobs, too.) In some ways Japanese will respect you more than they do other Japanese, in other ways less, especially where foreigner exoticism is concerned. If it happens at school my advice is to stop the lesson and address it then and there with the homeroom teacher in the room. It becomes harder to “prove” and more of a hassle nobody wants to take on later after the fact if you wait and get more people involved.
 
If anyone is thinking about coming over here make sure to RESEARCH RESEARCH RESEARCH, be really flexible, and be able to pick and choose your battles.  SJW types tend to get fed up really fast because Japan/Asia doesn’t operate on Western values nor will it bend to them. Also working conditions can be crappy, the pay not great unless you hustle multiple gigs, and it can be difficult to make close friends or find a decent s/o (esp if you’re a woman who doesn’t fits “normal” beauty/girlfriend material standards here).
 
I’m not speaking out of bitterness or anything btw. I feel like I’ve done pretty well for myself despite all that (not cutesy and petite, married to a j-dude, have a lot of close friends, speak Japanese fluently, able to find work outside of teaching) but it definitely doesn’t seem to be the norm, especially if you’re only staying here a couple of years before moving on to something else.
 

While that is really unfortunate, I feel like this person didn’t really have a good grasp on how things “work” here. Which is not to blame her, but just point out some things to keep in mind.
 
Lying to the BOE or customers about experience is pretty normal for any dispatch company or eikaiwa. I mean, honestly telling your clients/customers you’re taking their money for what essentially is on the job training for a new ALT or instructor through their lessons wouldn’t really set well with anyone. (Would you want to pay a hefty sum of money to be taught by a total newb? Probably not.)
 
Also, when you work for a dispatch company you aren’t actually a proper employee. You’re hired as a subcontractor for the dispatch company, which is contracted by the school to fill xx amount of days work per year.
 
Basically it means you legally can’t accept directives etc from the school - all of that and other communication must all come from the dispatch company. This is why Int*rac was upset she went to the school directly with her concerns. Also I’m sure the Aya chick acted out because the whole debacle made her lose face and/or the company would have rather her quit (accomplished through bullying, etc.) than pay a severance package by firing her if the company or the school had deemed her “problematic” for making waves. (Which seems likely from what she described.)
 
The reason dispatch companies hire ALTs as subcontractors is so the company can get out of giving paid sick leave, paying part of your insurance, contract bonuses, etc. The government is aware of this but they usually turn a blind eye unless a major scandal breaks out or it becomes a labor union case. And, of course, one reason they mostly hire new university graduates with little experience in Japan is so that they’re unlikely to be aware of how badly they’re getting ripped off.
 
So what I mean is that while Int*rac does suck and the salaries, training, and support they offer are abysmal, they aren’t any better or worse than your average dispatch/eikaiwa company here. I’ve worked for them before and at least they don’t work you without a visa and they pay on time. Whether you have a good experience with them or not depends highly on the branch (area in Japan) you get employed under, your attitude, and your school(s).
 
Additionally getting “groped” is pretty normal, especially by younger children. (It’s not uncommon for random strangers to touch my hair or old ladies to have a go at my boobs, too.) In some ways Japanese will respect you more than they do other Japanese, in other ways less, especially where foreigner exoticism is concerned. If it happens at school my advice is to stop the lesson and address it then and there with the homeroom teacher in the room. It becomes harder to “prove” and more of a hassle nobody wants to take on later after the fact if you wait and get more people involved.
 
If anyone is thinking about coming over here make sure to RESEARCH RESEARCH RESEARCH, be really flexible, and be able to pick and choose your battles.  SJW types tend to get fed up really fast because Japan/Asia doesn’t operate on Western values nor will it bend to them. Also working conditions can be crappy, the pay not great unless you hustle multiple gigs, and it can be difficult to make close friends or find a decent s/o (esp if you’re a woman who doesn’t fits “normal” beauty/girlfriend material standards here).
 
I’m not speaking out of bitterness or anything btw. I feel like I’ve done pretty well for myself despite all that (not cutesy and petite, married to a j-dude, have a lot of close friends, speak Japanese fluently, able to find work outside of teaching) but it definitely doesn’t seem to be the norm, especially if you’re only staying here a couple of years before moving on to something else.
 

I've seen most of them at Mandarake. If enough people have an interest in old VK doujin, maybe I should pick some up next time. ^^;;;

- When I first moved to Japan, I missed a live because I mixed up 町田 (Machida) where the live was with 田町 (Tamachi). I wasn't gonna make the live in time so I said fuck it, but then I felt kinda bad because I had reserved tix with the band. (Back when you could still reserve tickets with the band off their website.)
 
- I can't stand much of Dir en grey's music after Macabre. I couldn't care less that they dropped the visual look, just so much of their stuff after sounds like noise. I also know there are a lot of Japanese VK fans that feel the same way, though for years some of them were in denial and kept attending shows bc they had the hots for the members.
 
- I think VK started to die with the osare kei craze and I can't stand most current "popular" VK bands. It's not that I think new VK has more shit than old VK, just that shit bands can sell better than they could before now that SNS/cheki/multiple CD types with different bonuses/etc. are more common. There's still good music coming out, it's just a lot harder to find. Before the good music was more “mainstream”.
 
- One of the best lives I ever went to was Gargoyle playing some songs here and there in between random MCing, as they sat on stage chugging cans of beer with the audience. I'd never been to a Gargoyle show before and I don't even like beer, but honestly I wish this was a thing all bands did.

I will just say that people aren't always looking for you to give them advice when they have problems. Sometimes people just need to vent out a bit. Not even a shoulder to cry on per-se. Don't always feel like you need to always give someone a solution to their problems. 

Imho I’m not very good at comforting people either, but I try. I think part of this disconnect stems from the fact that I don’t go to people for comfort beyond wanting to cuddle with the H, since I’m well aware going to other people won’t actually solve the problem.
 
And that’s the thing... you usually can’t fix something for someone. You can be there and hold them why they cry and give them a safe space to vent, but they shouldn’t really have expectations beyond that, nor is it reasonable for them to expect you to drop everything to help them every time.
 
I had this one friend who kept coming to me for advice every other day after making one bad choice in her life after another and that shit was exhausting. It got to the point where I was dreading her messages because I had no desire to waste what little free time I had each day on her clingy need for attention or validation for the dumb shit she was putting herself through. I could understand if she was going through a bad patch in life atm but this was just her dating a serial cheater and getting mad about it, drama over her dating a married man before that, family drama bc she’s unmotivated to do anything with her life, etc. She needed counseling or therapy, not me.
 
While I do think there is some merit to trying to comfort a friend in the way they need (which may not be the same way you would need), it’s difficult for them to expect you to figure out that need, and daunting or possibly toxic if they expect it often.
 
Especially when you’re working 8-12 hours a day, have a s/o and/or kids and pets, or have a healthy social life, imho it’s rude of “friends” to constantly steal your small amount of personal time each day over problems they don’t really need to involve you in.

Imho I’m not very good at comforting people either, but I try. I think part of this disconnect stems from the fact that I don’t go to people for comfort beyond wanting to cuddle with the H, since I’m well aware going to other people won’t actually solve the problem.
 
And that’s the thing... you usually can’t fix something for someone. You can be there and hold them why they cry and give them a safe space to vent, but they shouldn’t really have expectations beyond that, nor is it reasonable for them to expect you to drop everything to help them every time.
 
I had this one friend who kept coming to me for advice every other day after making one bad choice in her life after another and that shit was exhausting. It got to the point where I was dreading her messages because I had no desire to waste what little free time I had each day on her clingy need for attention or validation for the dumb shit she was putting herself through. I could understand if she was going through a bad patch in life atm but this was just her dating a serial cheater and getting mad about it, drama over her dating a married man before that, family drama bc she’s unmotivated to do anything with her life, etc. She needed counseling or therapy, not me.
 
While I do think there is some merit to trying to comfort a friend in the way they need (which may not be the same way you would need), it’s difficult for them to expect you to figure out that need, and daunting or possibly toxic if they expect it often.
 
Especially when you’re working 8-12 hours a day, have a s/o and/or kids and pets, or have a healthy social life, imho it’s rude of “friends” to constantly steal your small amount of personal time each day over problems they don’t really need to involve you in.

I was somewhat on the fence in my teens about not wanting children. I'm in my 30s now and over the years have gradually moved into the "never having kids" zone. The only exception being that should I ever change my mind (not likely but just entertaining the possibility) I would adopt. But, at this point I don't even want that.
 
There are few j-guys that don't want kids, and my husband and I are both only children. The social pressure to have kids here is insane with the declining birthrate and all... Because of outside peer pressure sometimes my husband entertains the thought of having children, tho he pretty much reverts to "ah hell no" status the rare times we babysit for our friends' kids. He tires out easily and gets irritated when he doesn't get a full night's sleep and his free time is taken away from him, so I figure he'd get stressed/sick of parenting really fast. Also ultimately in Japan, the child rearing responsibility would fall fully on me, and so he doesn't try and force that burden on me knowing I'm not interested. However, we discussed all of this before marriage, and still check in that we're on the same page from time to time.
 
Reasons I don't want kids:
 
- I just don't want them
I actually like kids, but only in measured doses. I don't have a ton of free time as it is, and I know I would be miserable having to give that up for someone else. I also enjoy having the freedom to travel, going to lives, go out with friends, etc. with what little free time I do have, and that would be hard to do with kids since babysitting (like calling a babysitter) is an foreign concept to most Japanese people and the in-laws don't live nearby. My (girl)friends with kids hardly ever go out, hardly ever have any time away from their kids alone with their husbands, never have time to care for themselves, their houses are always a mess, and it just feels like they live the same day over and over. Their roles are limited to "mommy". Also they hardly ever sleep and look tired all the time. I mean they're happy so I'm happy for them, but it's just not the life for me. My husband and I have two cats. They provide the same cuteness and affection and are only a fraction of the work.
 
- They're expensive
I would have to work completely from home (instead of partly), and even then for the first couple of years childcare is pretty much a full time job in itself, so I doubt I'd get much done. My husband doesn't make enough money for me to quit my job. (Thanks crippling student loan debt D: )
 
- Overpopulation
This is the biggest one, even if we did actually want kids. There are already too many people on the planet and we're killing it. The way things are going, it's unlikely the earth won't succumb to global warming or war over lack of resources before any potential kids would grow old and pass on. I couldn't have them knowing that, just for vanity's sake of having a mini me or two running around.

Deciding not to have kids is frustrating because most doctors will refuse to tie your tubes or do anything permanent if you're young and/or haven't had kids yet, because they always assume you will change your mind.
 

Some minor guys I'm familiar with because they're either covered on this forum or they still have stuff from their previous band on their social media (ex. they don't straight up start anew every time they form a new band, etc.) Other than that, I hate it when I have to dig thru the Twitter rabbit hole of mutual followers just to find what other bands this person may have been in, it's very time consuming and especially stressful when people point out I'm wrong cuz I'm not familiar with this particular person...

oh i think if someone points out you're wrong  it's just because they're familiar with that particular guy and want to help, so it's not something to stress about〜 but what you and other people do here is really huge, so thanks for keeping this site as a place were we all can find out relevant information .w.

.

OMGEH YOU WRITE BOTTOM AOI FICS SO I AM DEF PUTTING YOUR FICS ON MY READ LIST NOW fnsijdnfdkjncsk I like Reituki but, when Kai is involved lolololol Basically Rukaita cuz I'm a piece of shit who loves drummers so much -cries- basically anyone in the band I ship them with Kai lololol it took me some time to read dom/top Kai tho, but slowly getting to it XD
 
There are some VK bands today that I'm glad I ended up liking lol altho I agree that most sound like fucking normies sdbfbadsjk maybe it's because idols are so popular now that the VK scene/musicians are trying to garner more fans? But meh, if their music is shit it really doesn't matter how good they look althoican'tsaythesameforotherbandsandithinkweallknowwhichonesi'mtalkingaboutlol The Gazette fandom is so well-established and has so many fans that it's just THAT easy to get sucked into their fandom for the sake of staying into the VK fandom XD 
 
 
 
I don't think I've met a lot of bangya that are over 30 ouo which reminds me! Early this year(or I think that was late last year) I met this really cool guy that was also into VK and he's in his 30's and he apparently knows so much about VK and even knows about MH lol but, he said he doesn't want to hang out here cuz he's such an elitist fucker that he'll just get in trouble XD like he says shit like if you don't listen to X Japan and stuff then, you ain't a true fan but lol, he said that to me in a nice and friendly way anyways so I can't get mad at him sbdfihbdsjk
 
I wish drawing doujins was still popular today sdbfjndks I would fucking fangirl so much over them sbdcjbnsk but right now, I feel like I'm gonna be one of those bangyas now who will try to make doujins of their OTP XD when my drawing skills get better e.e
 
Also last point, in wattpad the vk artist x reader is VERY popular there and idk why lol one of the many reasons I stay the fuck away from that site. But at the same time, some of them are nice so I feel bad about kink shaming them lolololol one was even nice enough to make a fanfic about me and my fave (to which I forgot to read so I think they didn't continue it lol) and another someone made a ReitaxKai fanifc for me cuz I'm a thirsty bitch but I still have difficulty reading it cuz it was top Kai ahahahha
 
#prayforme

for me getting to know previous bands is actually one of the most interesting parts when a new band is announced
but i still don't understand how do you do it for some minor guys from obscure bands, especially now that vkdb isn't as helpful as earlier
so yeah it must be some boring routine

I'm so tired of doing this "who's who" bullshit when I write news about new bands involving veteran bandmen, it's my least favorite part and it makes me wanna quit posting entirely.

I'm attracted to any vocalist that's a skinty twink dad like Gara, which is why I also have the hawts for Rei (マルコ) and aie. ;w;

I'm instantly attracted to any band with very short lead singers. Having always had a complex about my height it is just lots of fun seeing tiny people fill the stage with their presence.

Ugh yes, I've never understood the point of self-insert or (person) x reader fanfic, in any fandom.

I feel like every overseas obangya over 30 either read it or wrote it! I also remember when every group had fans here in Japan drawing and publishing doujin for established band ships. You can still find a number of these relics at Mandarake.
 
I feel pretty squick about shipping real people now but I think VK is kinda in that grey zone where you’re shipping the personas they pretend to be.

I think they were going for the sound of heavy rain (zaa-zaa) in Japanese.
 
Edit: Nvm someone already pointed this out!

Ugh yes, I've never understood the point of self-insert or (person) x reader fanfic, in any fandom.

I feel like every overseas obangya over 30 either read it or wrote it! I also remember when every group had fans here in Japan drawing and publishing doujin for established band ships. You can still find a number of these relics at Mandarake.
 
I feel pretty squick about shipping real people now but I think VK is kinda in that grey zone where you’re shipping the personas they pretend to be.

Ugh yes, I've never understood the point of self-insert or (person) x reader fanfic, in any fandom.

Ugh yes, I've never understood the point of self-insert or (person) x reader fanfic, in any fandom.

THIS
Plus, when they do fanservice I feel even less guilty about it. It's less cringey than shipping yourself with them tbh.

I feel like every overseas obangya over 30 either read it or wrote it! I also remember when every group had fans here in Japan drawing and publishing doujin for established band ships. You can still find a number of these relics at Mandarake.
 
I feel pretty squick about shipping real people now but I think VK is kinda in that grey zone where you’re shipping the personas they pretend to be.