How do you guys deal with depression?

[Kira_Uchiha 92]

Hi there people, it's been ages since I've been on this website. I've been a member for a really long time (maybe a few of you might remember me), but during the last two years or so I started having depression, and this made me become less and less socially active here, on facebook, etc, and even irl. The only people with whom I was interacting with were my friends at university and my girlfriend (who's in the same group of friends as I). It wasn't bad depression as in I wanted to off myself, but it was bad enough to suck a LOT of my positivity and joy of living, which caused me to slowly closing myself in my cocoon, become pessimistic and unmotivated. And last year it also made my relationship with my girlfriend deteriorate.

 

I tried to pinpoint what caused this depression and i think it was partly because of university. What I'm studying there feels completely bland to me. I'm studying graphic design and it has it's interesting moments, but a lot of it is bloated with repetitive and numbing tasks/assignments. And the other part is since I'm doing something I'm not passionate about, I started feeling really scared and stressed about my future.  Recently, before the new year I started to try and pick myself up. I realised that if I continued down this road I would be a speck of who I was, and I don't want to "lose myself" (so cliche omfg sorry).

 

I started to try and think more positively and try to make something out of this negativity. I started to exercise, and picking up songwriting, since music is really what I'm passionate about, and I want to work towards it, even though I still have to deal with graphic design and I probably won't be able to make a living out of music if I don't plan things properly, and actually write regularly. Even though I may not make a living with music, I still want to try my best, and if it doesn't work, at least I tried and I can still keep it as a hobby.

 

I'd like to know, if anyone ever experienced depression here, however light or heavy it was, how did you get out of it? How did you cope with it?
Also sorry if this isn't the right place to post this.

[BrenGun 2261]

First question? How old are you? If you are below 25th years, think about what might be fun is to learn and start a new education. 

Or if you finished graphic design and you didn't pass that age, maybe start new?

Of course if you are older and you have still money and time you also can start to learn something new. 

 

You already know the reason why you are feeling depressed, so with knowing why you can find solutions to fix that "dark web".

Do what you think is fun, do what you want.

 

 

And love... pretty sure there will be someone on your path again. 

Keep on smiling~

 

 

However music can give you a happy feeling but being around with friends is also a good thing.
And if you really are about losing yourself you better can see a doctor who can guide  other ways to drag you out of the dark bubble.  

 

[evenor 1655]

If you have the resources, try to speak with a counselor. If you are still attending university, they might have free mental health services.

[togz 2004]

I have suffered depression pretty much my whole adult life, so I completely understand that it can be overwhelming in itself to even feel depression... especially when you first realize you have it because you kind of feel at a loss on where to start to make yourself feel better. On top of that, you close yourself off and don't really have the motivation for things anymore which sort of drive you downward even more. 

For some people depression can be a temporary thing caused by stress, lack of mental stimulation, lack of direction, and just generally feeling lost.

 

For me I felt that I had too many options on what I wanted to do with my life and I chose to scrape by doing what I felt was correct based on other peoples thoughts. Don't do that. You really have to find it in yourself to live your life the way you want. All the people, including parents, will tell you it's not a good idea or it's not possible, but you have to understand that everyones outcome in life is different regardless if you follow the same path that worked for them. I'm not sure how big of a role your parents play in your educational choices... but in the end no matter what, you're the only one who truly has to live with them. 

 

People will try to talk you out of it or bring you down until you've put in the work and you're actually successful and happy in their book, then suddenly they'll jump on the hype wagon in bragging about you and supporting you morally. 

 

I agree, if there is counseling available to you, do not let that slide by. There is nothing wrong with feeling lost. What you're feeling is your minds way to let you know something has gotta change. Plus seeking counseling is getting the perspective of an unbiased person. They take things at face value, or they just listen and help you decide for yourself what you need to do. Catch it early while you can before you dig yourself too deep. It gets a lot harder to motivate yourself to seek help once you become... "used" to the way things have become. 

 

You asked how other people may have handled depression. I personally bottled everything up, shut my friends out, lost my friends, gave up on a lot of dreams, and set myself back from where I wanted to be so far that I pretty much had to reevaluate my life and come up with a new game plan. Even now some days are still hard and it's been a long time coming. Don't take the long route out of this. Talk to someone. Surround yourself with positive people who genuinely want to better themselves thus motivating you and holding you accountable to better yourself too. While relating to someone else who has depression can be a short term relief... in the long run, unless you are actively trying to change for the better, can turn really toxic really fast and actually prevent either of you from moving past things if you're the only company each other has. 

 

If you want to do music, start off by going to local shows and surround yourself with people and things that make you remember why you're so passionate about it. Gradually you'll start associating with people who feel the same way or are already established in the scene. 

 

I think the first step would be to talk to someone though to help redirect yourself. You may have some big decisions ahead about new directions etc and while it's hard in the moment it will make you that much stronger in the long run and you will be so much happier later on. 

 

Sorry this was so long and I hope it helped. If you ever just need to vent to anyone... I'm all ears to listen.

[saishuu 3220]

I let it consume me whole

 

For real though, I've been living with this thing for as long as can I remember and the only way I found to be helpful was through meds. Took me a long time to do it, but I saw a psychiatrist (having health insurance helps, but it might not be readily available to everyone) when things got really bad and it's been a relief since then, although the depression still crawls back every once in a while and I just have to wait until it goes away. Other than that, music and other distractions do make it easier a bit as a short-term solution, as well as being with close friends who won't judge you for feeling the way you do.

 

Depression's made me overthink eveything in my life, but there's a few things that it made clear to me after a while: 1) there's ways to go around it if you give yourself some time (we tend to go hard on ourselves for feeling like this, but it's always better to be reminded to be kind and patient with our own process); 2) we all deal with it differently, so try to not compare what you go through with how other people have it. Take it easy on yourself!

 

I don't know what else to say right now, but I honestly wish you the best in dealing with this.

[Zeus 7997]

This is the right section for this topic. Dealing with depression is like learning how to love and have a relationship with yourself all over again.

I actually think more people are depressed than we would like to admit because our society and the way things are set up are not good for our mental health. We get up, slave all day, come home and have to take care of our personal responsibilities before we hit the hay and do it all over again tomorrow. There's a reason why they call it "the grind"; there's really no end to it if you're stuck in a loop doing something that you don't want to do. Having said that, I would recommend to do what you are doing right now which would be identifying and verbalizing the reasons for your depression and finding things to do that make you happy. Medications and counseling may help in some cases, and I really can't say if it would work for you, but I managed to claw my way out of the dumps with sheer willpower. Find what works for you and stick to it. Depression is a bitch because it's a vicious spiral that makes you feel like there's no way out but down.

 

You only get one life to live. There's no point in spending it hating yourself and what you do.

[CELESTIAL CIEL 985]

If it's a real depression (it may be something that look like depression, neurosis, dysthymia (chronic depression, as in my case), etc.) - the main point on your way to your mental health is a good psychiatrist and therapy. As any other desease, it should be diagnosted and a person suffering from depression should receive treatment. My life was half-ruined and I was close to death before I was forced to start treatment. Friends, goals, etc. are important, but weak... If you never visited psychiatrist - do it as soon as possible. Life is too short to spend it like this... I also felt better when I left the university. I loved japanology, but I was too scared about my future after graduation. I have a specialty related to medicine, so soon I will look for work (and it sounds exciting for me) I still don't have any motivation, but the treatment of depression is very difficult. I hope it will appear, someday...
Get well soon♡

[YuyoDrift 1540]

Hey @Kira_Uchiha! Been a while!

 

Depression is a hell of a weight to shoulder. No one is immune to it, and the many forms of depression are still being discovered.

I wish I could share my experiences, but time constraints limit me to do so at the moment. (maybe I will post it here later)

 

The ways I have dealt with depression in the past, required a game of trial and error.

I say "trial and error", because you don't know what will work for you. Mistakes will be made.

Learning to accept that not every method that you read/hear about will work for you, is a great start. Depression is not some cold that will go away with some medicine, nor is it something that once gone, will never come back. The sooner you can see it from this perspective, the less impact/harm it can do to you, whether or not you were to go through depression more than once.

We all know that the only enemies during depression are you and yourself. If you find that the methods you are trying out aren't making a night/day difference, the methods simply aren't for you, so no need to beat yourself up. Move on to the next one.

4 hours ago, Kira_Uchiha said:

I tried to pinpoint what caused this depression and i think it was partly because of university. What I'm studying there feels completely bland to me. I'm studying graphic design and it has it's interesting moments, but a lot of it is bloated with repetitive and numbing tasks/assignments. And the other part is since I'm doing something I'm not passionate about, I started feeling really scared and stressed about my future.  Recently, before the new year I started to try and pick myself up. I realised that if I continued down this road I would be a speck of who I was, and I don't want to "lose myself" (so cliche omfg sorry).

Now I don't want to change your way of life with this one post lol, but it sounds like your depression has even skewed your outlook/focus.

If I could provide one solid piece of advice, it would be to see the greater picture, and that is your life.

Many people grow tired of their careers, their relationships with friends/lovers/family, and more importantly, themselves. You're lying to yourself, not other people, if you say otherwise. "I'm comfortable", seems the be the phrase I hear the most when trying to argue this. Well, that's fine and all, but "I'm comfortable" is just the first cry for help. It leads to, in you own words, "repetitive and numb", followed by "feeling scared and stressed about my future".

 

"Is this who I've become now?"

"is this really what I want"

"Is this going to be me until I die?"

 

We're fucking human. "Too much of a good thing......" (you know the rest) is an outlook on life itself. Try and understand that your career is not your entire life, and that you have other things to look forward too (girlfriend and your friends, hobbies, etc.), so take it with a grain of salt. I'm sure they'd appreciate it too.

 

What I've learned to do, is COMPLETELY understand that my work, my relationships, things I'm passionate about, etc., are separate entities.

Your career (and all the other areas) has the potential to cross a line, if not set. How can you enjoy other things, if your career is now a part of it? Are you having fun?

I'm not gonna get all deep and shit (I'm busy, sorry) so I'll get to the point.

 

Your career is just that, your career. You want to get paid to do this right? Come in, do some work, clock in/clock out and learn something new the next day. Another day another dollar. It should not require more thought than that. Doesn't it sound really easy when you look at it that way? lol

I suppose your first mistake (and YOU ARE NOT ALONE) can be seen as studying a career field with the wrong objectives.

Your career is a stepping stone to a better you, better opportunities, and not some mattress you can just slouch on for the rest of your life (I hope you understand my crappy metaphor), as that will be seen as the only thing you want to do by others. Don't place yourself there, because it may be difficult to get out.

 

Some food for thought:

If I wanted to do what I was passionate about, I would have studied to be a mechanic instead of Information Security. Eventually though, I would have hit the same point you have, where I no longer feel passionate about it. Keeping my love for working on cars as a weekend hobby, allows me to control my level of interest. same with everything else.

Ask any mechanic who went in because they were passionate about cars, and they'll tell you they hate their jobs and the sight of a vehicle lol.

Wonder why.

 

Anyway......

 

Keep checking up on us more often!

The more we hear from you, the more we become chums!

Don't be a stranger!

 

 

 

 

 

[Triangle 345]

What I learned from watching other people is that talking to someone feels nice and even if you don't get a solution to your problem, at least you got it out of your chest. I'm not the type to talk about my problems and I tend to "self-cure" myself too much. But when I actually do talk with people, it feels great. People like friends or my mum. I cut out all the toxic people I used to have in my life and feel way better. And music. That helps calm down my inner "demons".

I also learned from a youtuber that I should love myself more and hate somebody else instead XD.

I never had suicidal thoughts or stuff but sometimes it does feel stuffy and days will end up with swollen eyes from too much crying and anxiety makes me lose it but, I managed to not fall too into deep, because, I was lucky enough to have a mother like mine, who is a combination of an angel and a tornado at the same time. I also have a best friend who annoys me more so that I don't have energy to hate myself.

But in the end, if you feel alone, there is no shame in seeking for help or admitting that you are struggling.

Edited February 3, 2018 by Triangle

[The Moon 989]

alcohol x 

[BrenGun 2261]

45 minutes ago, The Moon said:

alcohol x 

only gives you happy feeling dor short time or it gives you an even worser feeling.... XD

[doombox 4421]

1 hour ago, The Moon said:

alcohol x 

This doesn't solve anything, just distracts you and gives you more problems.

 

Long time no see @Kira_Uchihawelcome back! There's a lot of good advice in this thread. My depression never really goes away, it's just something I've learned to manage living with. Things I've learned: It's okay to let all of your emotions out when you feel them (some days I cry a lot, some days I don't feel anything at all) so just go with it. Put yourself first, even if it feels selfish sometimes, life is short so don't sacrifice what little happiness we can find. A lot of people take sabbaticals from school or work for mental health. Sometimes you get burnt out and want to quit but a little time off/vacation really works wonders, and not everyone works at the same pace even if school tries to force it on everyone. Exercise and music are great hobbies to keep, they're both proven to release dopamine in your brain, so they will help with stress a lot. 

 

My inbox is still open if you ever want to chat. 

 

Edited February 3, 2018 by doombox

[Tanishi 598]

My way of dealing with it was to develop an iron will through meditation, will strengthening exercises and the Japanese concept of 'kaizen' (seriously google this). Now at every moment of the day I am using these concepts for working on ways to make my life better and avoiding thinking about any negatives aspects of my life. Right now I am learning Japanese, writing a book, and going to the gym which are my three main hobbies. The hardest part is at work because work sucks but I am using willpower to apply for other jobs and meditation has helped trained my mind to avoid thinking of work outside of work hours.

 

I guess it is just distracting myself but that's how most adults live anyway and if that distraction can lead to a positive outcome then it is definitely a good thing.

I know this different from how most people deal with it but the first step is to work out if your depression is a chemical imbalance or caused by your life sucking. If its the former I don't have much advice except see a professional.

 

This is coming from a guy who was a NEET for over a year and has been depressed for years. Since about June I have been mostly happy.

[Axius 2019]

For me Visual kei music is the best cure idk why it just calms me down and if not then i pretty much do what makes me happy (Video games, friends etc..)

Ive slowly learned that there is a cause sometimes at least for me (Fear is major). The times that there are no cause i wait it out by doing the things i love which make me happy or bonding with people that i know will make me happy. I know that many people are different and have many things that make them happy. Whatever it is hopefully it isn't negative >.<  and Hopefully it makes you happy.

Advice wise:

Experience the world its very vast and big to understand. Some not all but some people don't fully understand that to a point. So Explore get in a car/plane and go somewhere anywhere hopefully no where dangerous. Maybe japan XD. Either way how you travel you'll experience a lot.

(Disclaimer: I have never done this because i was either never allowed or have no money but i plan to)

[The Bread Wolf 231]

3 hours ago, Axius said:

Experience the world its very vast and big to understand. Some not all but some people don't fully understand that to a point. So Explore get in a car/plane and go somewhere anywhere hopefully no where dangerous. Maybe japan XD. Either way how you travel you'll experience a lot.

Not to rain on your parade, and I'm sure not all depressed people are like this, but... If you are severely, clinically depressed, it's hard enough to get out of the bed each day to perform mundane tasks, let alone get out of the house. Travelling in that case is out of question.

 

And another thing people have recommended: the councillors or psychiatrists or therapists. Sounds good, but doesn't always work. And I don't mean the therapy itself. I mean being in a situation where you can see one. Even in the UK, where I live, it seems to be near impossible to get a referral to a psychiatrist unless you're literally moments away from suicide. I certainly didn't get one, and my depression is crippling, albeit not life threatening as it is.

 

Then you have, of course, the private way. And hey, that involves money. Lots of money, from one session with a professional varying from £50 to £100. To have that amount of money to spare, you need a job. To get and hold a job, you need to be able to leave your home and expose yourself to strange or unpleasant situations. And if getting out of bed and taking a shower is sometimes and overwhelming achievement, doing all that is going to be quite difficult.

 

I'm personally not comfortable sharing much about how my depressive mind works, but I have a little wisdom to give: Take the pills if you need them. It's a majorly annoying fad nowadays that people think pills are prescribed for no reason and they just make you sleepwalk through your life, or that you can cure your depression by going out and enjoying the world. If you have a serious problem; if your depression is taking over your life and you can no longer function properly with it, take the pills. The decision to allow yourself to be medicated for a serious condition doesn't make you weak. It doesn't make you "the sheeple of medical industry". If you need it, you take it, and it doesn't make you less of a person.

[Axius 2019]

6 minutes ago, The Bread Wolf said:

Not to rain on your parade, and I'm sure not all depressed people are like this, but... If you are severely, clinically depressed, it's hard enough to get out of the bed each day to perform mundane tasks, let alone get out of the house. Travelling in that case is out of question.

I wasn't specific into this but i remember mentioning that this isn't for everyone by saying people are different in which i was never specific about

"I know that many people are different and have many things that make them happy."

The advice is more of an encouragement to do said task. Yes some people as you stated might be in capable this is why i wrote Advice next to it.

All in all encouragement for travel because generally some people who are depressed stay in one place and don't wanna do much as you stated. This is encouragement for getting out there.

[Kira_Uchiha 92]

I'm a lil bit overwhelmed, thanks to each and every of you for your replies. To make it clear, it's not clinical depression, it's much less than that. I've got no problems eating, interacting with people when I'm put in a social situation and such. Where it's really affecting me is in my motivation, my productivity, my drive and my relationships outside of people I interact with mostly on a daily basis. It's a state of me most of the time feeling worthless and feeling like I'm wasting my time everyday, not progressing in life, as if I've hit a wall. 80% of last year was spent mostly with uni, not really being able to work on what I wanted to do. The graphic design course doesn't have end of semester exams like other courses, it focuses only on assignments throughout the semester, so I can't really slack on that. When I actually have the time for myself, I feel too emotionally drained to actually get up and get to work on my personal life. I'm aware I'm mostly making excuses, and that's what's making it worse: I'm aware of it, and I want to be able to change my mindset.

 

On 2/2/2018 at 8:17 PM, BrenGun said:

First question? How old are you? If you are below 25th years, think about what might be fun is to learn and start a new education. 

Or if you finished graphic design and you didn't pass that age, maybe start new?

Of course if you are older and you have still money and time you also can start to learn something new. 

 

You already know the reason why you are feeling depressed, so with knowing why you can find solutions to fix that "dark web".

Do what you think is fun, do what you want.

 

 

And love... pretty sure there will be someone on your path again. 

Keep on smiling~

 

 

However music can give you a happy feeling but being around with friends is also a good thing.
And if you really are about losing yourself you better can see a doctor who can guide  other ways to drag you out of the dark bubble.  

 

I'm 21, turning 22 in around 2 weeks. I'm already in my 3rd year of graphic design so I'll finish it, and I do plan on maybe taking on another course, but that would be when I leave the country I currently live in. I live in Mauritius, which is not bad of a country, but not really a good place to be if you're not planning to work "common" jobs such as accountant, manager, and such.

 

I'm trying to slowly work on what I love, that is songwriting. I'm working on it in small chunks though, if I work for too long on it I feel mentally drained, especially since my personal problems are still dragging on my mind a little.

 

Anyway, thank you for your reply

 

21 hours ago, CoolKill3rX said:

Talk to someone about it.

Really, get some psychologist who you can talk to, have your emotions spoken out and trying to find out what it is YOU are bothered with, and what it is that you actually want, besides that you can also talk to family.

 

As for my own method of cooping,

I've been in a state of constant conflicting emotions for my whole life since i've been a child, avoiding public places and somehow just always felt alone and sad.

As a child, i can only remember most of my nights of sadness and crying, this also continuing in my days as a teenager.

I think i even sometime wanted to start praying  and wanted to believe in a god, because it is too much to bare, but i suppose thats quite silly.

 

Later in my life as a more young adult, this transformed more so in constant non-stopping thoughts about if its even worth living.

During this, i also starting to fear death allot, often randomly starting to see blackness before my eyes being in bed, realizing i would be death someday, this caused me to often completely loose it, because its something i cannot ever win?

next to this, I never had really any real life friends, just people who i spoke too online, who came and go.

I think this is also the reason why i stopped having any emotion for anything anymore. i simply don't care anymore.

Looking back at my whole live, i cannot say i've been ever happy.. i'd probably say i have never lived.

 

The last year i came much further in life in terms of things, moved out, more control and whatever, but it doesn't change anything about my emotions.

Most of it being caused by me pushing away everything and everyone acting like everything to be oke.

Because of this, i just accepted that i am never going to be happy, i somehow now see it more as a wish.. hoping that i can one day be blessed to actually feel like i can be happy, like i always wanted to be.

Besides this, i blaim myself for everything that has happend., that its all my own fault and i'm the only one to blaim for all of this, and generally hate myself for it.

To this date i think i do abit better.

 

The only thing i can say positively is that since i've been talking to a psychologist is that it has been slightly more stable since i'm more able to express my feelings.

Please do so, it is not worth it looking back on my life, thinking i trew away all of it and feel like its forever wasted, not to mention the constant emotional pain.

 

 

I think i went abit too overboard and made it too personal here ^^

Edit:

To keep it simple and compact, talk about it with people. pshychologists, family ect.

Narrow down ur depression to what it is that exactly depresses you, and fix it on the small scale you made it.
Find a counter for it, a goal towards you wish to aim.

Doing this gives u a method of going away from the small thing you dont want, and going to the big goal thats in your sight.

I hope you find your awnser.

Hey it's cool you know, it seems like you needed a small place to vent out too, so don't worry about going overboard here. We all need to let it out sometimes right?

Thanks for your reply, this is the only place I talked about my depression, and tbh just letting it out here felt like it did lighten this burden a little. I do hope it helped you too to vent a little, we're all in this life together, so let's just try and make smth nice out of it.

 

On 2/2/2018 at 8:58 PM, saishuu said:

I let it consume me whole

 

For real though, I've been living with this thing for as long as can I remember and the only way I found to be helpful was through meds. Took me a long time to do it, but I saw a psychiatrist (having health insurance helps, but it might not be readily available to everyone) when things got really bad and it's been a relief since then, although the depression still crawls back every once in a while and I just have to wait until it goes away. Other than that, music and other distractions do make it easier a bit as a short-term solution, as well as being with close friends who won't judge you for feeling the way you do.

 

Depression's made me overthink eveything in my life, but there's a few things that it made clear to me after a while: 1) there's ways to go around it if you give yourself some time (we tend to go hard on ourselves for feeling like this, but it's always better to be reminded to be kind and patient with our own process); 2) we all deal with it differently, so try to not compare what you go through with how other people have it. Take it easy on yourself!

 

I don't know what else to say right now, but I honestly wish you the best in dealing with this.

Hey thanks for sharing your experience, right now one of the biggest problems I'm dealing is overthinking everything I do. It's bad, most days I just sleep and eat when my parents aren't dragging me out of the house. But exercising did help me get out a little of this lethargic state. Hopefully I can find ways to stop, or at least reduce how much I overthink, because it's really putting a big burden on my songwriting.

 

On 2/2/2018 at 9:29 PM, Zeus said:

This is the right section for this topic. Dealing with depression is like learning how to love and have a relationship with yourself all over again.

I actually think more people are depressed than we would like to admit because our society and the way things are set up are not good for our mental health. We get up, slave all day, come home and have to take care of our personal responsibilities before we hit the hay and do it all over again tomorrow. There's a reason why they call it "the grind"; there's really no end to it if you're stuck in a loop doing something that you don't want to do. Having said that, I would recommend to do what you are doing right now which would be identifying and verbalizing the reasons for your depression and finding things to do that make you happy. Medications and counseling may help in some cases, and I really can't say if it would work for you, but I managed to claw my way out of the dumps with sheer willpower. Find what works for you and stick to it. Depression is a bitch because it's a vicious spiral that makes you feel like there's no way out but down.

 

You only get one life to live. There's no point in spending it hating yourself and what you do.

I agree with you, especially about the grind. The monotony of this cycle is something I've always dreaded ever since I first experienced it. Having your pay at the end of each month isn't really motivating, it's much more about survival, you gotta do it if you want to live in this society. I'd love to make a living out of music but I know it's not realistic, especially not where I live. I'm still going to work towards this goal though, while trying to find jobs in fields related to music, always good to have a fail-safe.

 

I don't think I've reached the point yet where I need medication, I still have some fight left in me, I want to get better and I want to improve myself, and I don't want to spend the rest of my days hating my life and myself. Thanks for your reply.

 

17 hours ago, fieldsgrow said:

My way of dealing with it was to develop an iron will through meditation, will strengthening exercises and the Japanese concept of 'kaizen' (seriously google this). Now at every moment of the day I am using these concepts for working on ways to make my life better and avoiding thinking about any negatives aspects of my life. Right now I am learning Japanese, writing a book, and going to the gym which are my three main hobbies. The hardest part is at work because work sucks but I am using willpower to apply for other jobs and meditation has helped trained my mind to avoid thinking of work outside of work hours.

 

I guess it is just distracting myself but that's how most adults live anyway and if that distraction can lead to a positive outcome then it is definitely a good thing.

I know this different from how most people deal with it but the first step is to work out if your depression is a chemical imbalance or caused by your life sucking. If its the former I don't have much advice except see a professional.

 

This is coming from a guy who was a NEET for over a year and has been depressed for years. Since about June I have been mostly happy.

Meditation is something I've been contemplating for a while, I just don't know where to start. Where did you start learning kaizen?  Online? Or somewhere near where you live?

I think it would really help me especially with concentration and productivity.

 

16 hours ago, Axius said:

For me Visual kei music is the best cure idk why it just calms me down and if not then i pretty much do what makes me happy (Video games, friends etc..)

Ive slowly learned that there is a cause sometimes at least for me (Fear is major). The times that there are no cause i wait it out by doing the things i love which make me happy or bonding with people that i know will make me happy. I know that many people are different and have many things that make them happy. Whatever it is hopefully it isn't negative >.<  and Hopefully it makes you happy.

Advice wise:

Experience the world its very vast and big to understand. Some not all but some people don't fully understand that to a point. So Explore get in a car/plane and go somewhere anywhere hopefully no where dangerous. Maybe japan XD. Either way how you travel you'll experience a lot.

(Disclaimer: I have never done this because i was either never allowed or have no money but i plan to)

Heh yeah, doing what you like or being surrounded by people you like is really helpful, but sometimes I just fall back into it when I'm not surrounded by positive stimuli, you know?
But as for travelling, it's something I'm definitely planning. I want to move away actually, I think changing my environment could help. I'm thinking maybe Canada. Japan would be someplace I'd love to visit someday, it's been my dream ever since I was a little weeb.

Thanks for your reply

 

13 hours ago, The Bread Wolf said:

Not to rain on your parade, and I'm sure not all depressed people are like this, but... If you are severely, clinically depressed, it's hard enough to get out of the bed each day to perform mundane tasks, let alone get out of the house. Travelling in that case is out of question.

 

And another thing people have recommended: the councillors or psychiatrists or therapists. Sounds good, but doesn't always work. And I don't mean the therapy itself. I mean being in a situation where you can see one. Even in the UK, where I live, it seems to be near impossible to get a referral to a psychiatrist unless you're literally moments away from suicide. I certainly didn't get one, and my depression is crippling, albeit not life threatening as it is.

 

Then you have, of course, the private way. And hey, that involves money. Lots of money, from one session with a professional varying from £50 to £100. To have that amount of money to spare, you need a job. To get and hold a job, you need to be able to leave your home and expose yourself to strange or unpleasant situations. And if getting out of bed and taking a shower is sometimes and overwhelming achievement, doing all that is going to be quite difficult.

 

I'm personally not comfortable sharing much about how my depressive mind works, but I have a little wisdom to give: Take the pills if you need them. It's a majorly annoying fad nowadays that people think pills are prescribed for no reason and they just make you sleepwalk through your life, or that you can cure your depression by going out and enjoying the world. If you have a serious problem; if your depression is taking over your life and you can no longer function properly with it, take the pills. The decision to allow yourself to be medicated for a serious condition doesn't make you weak. It doesn't make you "the sheeple of medical industry". If you need it, you take it, and it doesn't make you less of a person.

I'm luckily not in the state where my depression is as crippling and/or life threatening. What it really cripples right now is my productivity and my motivation. Sometimes it happens that in quite short bursts I get the urge to actually do shit, and this usually lasts for 2 hours max, and then for a week straight I won't get the courage to do things. I'm trying to slowly work on this, and do small chunks everyday.

I do hope that your case is improving, slowly maybe but surely, take care of yourself.

 

 

Thanks to all of you for your replies, and sorry I wasn't able to reply to everyone here, the posts and support here are just overwhelming, thank you so much. 

[Kira_Uchiha 92]

On 2/2/2018 at 9:56 PM, Triangle said:

What I learned from watching other people is that talking to someone feels nice and even if you don't get a solution to your problem, at least you got it out of your chest. I'm not the type to talk about my problems and I tend to "self-cure" myself too much. But when I actually do talk with people, it feels great. People like friends or my mum. I cut out all the toxic people I used to have in my life and feel way better. And music. That helps calm down my inner "demons".

I also learned from a youtuber that I should love myself more and hate somebody else instead XD.

I never had suicidal thoughts or stuff but sometimes it does feel stuffy and days will end up with swollen eyes from too much crying and anxiety makes me lose it but, I managed to not fall too into deep, because, I was lucky enough to have a mother like mine, who is a combination of an angel and a tornado at the same time. I also have a best friend who annoys me more so that I don't have energy to hate myself.

But in the end, if you feel alone, there is no shame in seeking for help or admitting that you are struggling.

Cutting out toxic people was a problem I had. I used to have this friend, who was my best friend at the time, but nothing was enough for her y'know, she just kept asking more and more from me... Luckily with the support of other friends, I was able to cut her out, which is something I never had the courage to do before.

I'm glad you're surrounded by great people that helped you, and are still helping you

[Tanishi 598]

3 hours ago, Kira_Uchiha said:

Meditation is something I've been contemplating for a while, I just don't know where to start. Where did you start learning kaizen?  Online? Or somewhere near where you live?

I think it would really help me especially with concentration and productivity.

For meditation there's lots of different types but they all centre around the same thing. Just pick a type and google a tutorial for the type that catches your interest. It's not complicated you just have to remember the general idea is to clear your mind of thoughts. https://visualmeditation.co/7-types-of-meditation/

 

As for kaizen its a really simple philosophy the key being when starting a project start embarrassingly small. ie if you wanted to start going to the gym, instead of buying a gym membership the first day you would do literally one rep with a dumbbell. This is a good video too:

Spoiler

 

 

[Axius 2019]

4 hours ago, Kira_Uchiha said:

Heh yeah, doing what you like or being surrounded by people you like is really helpful, but sometimes I just fall back into it when I'm not surrounded by positive stimuli, you know?
But as for travelling, it's something I'm definitely planning. I want to move away actually, I think changing my environment could help. I'm thinking maybe Canada. Japan would be someplace I'd love to visit someday, it's been my dream ever since I was a little weeb.

Thanks for your reply

No problem. Let the positivity flow my friend

 

[Triangle 345]

7 hours ago, Kira_Uchiha said:

Cutting out toxic people was a problem I had. I used to have this friend, who was my best friend at the time, but nothing was enough for her y'know, she just kept asking more and more from me... Luckily with the support of other friends, I was able to cut her out, which is something I never had the courage to do before.

I'm glad you're surrounded by great people that helped you, and are still helping you

Yeah I kind of had the same problem at one point in my life with a person I used to think was my best friend but, in the end I was the only one who tried and after I stopped trying I was questioned and then thrown away like one of those gums after you chew them too much XD. 

That helped me learn how to cut out toxic people and just all together know what's best for me. So, I guess experiences like this are good if you pick out the positive things and the lessons from them. 

If you need positive reinforcement or dad jokes or roasting people, my inbox is open any time ✨. Good luck with everything you are doing ☺️! 

Edited February 4, 2018 by Triangle

[Kira_Uchiha 92]

11 hours ago, fieldsgrow said:

For meditation there's lots of different types but they all centre around the same thing. Just pick a type and google a tutorial for the type that catches your interest. It's not complicated you just have to remember the general idea is to clear your mind of thoughts. https://visualmeditation.co/7-types-of-meditation/

 

As for kaizen its a really simple philosophy the key being when starting a project start embarrassingly small. ie if you wanted to start going to the gym, instead of buying a gym membership the first day you would do literally one rep with a dumbbell. This is a good video too:

  Hide contents

 

 

Thanks a lot, I'll check everything out when I get back home. It feels like a smart concept though, starting really small and progressively get better.

 

6 hours ago, Triangle said:

Yeah I kind of had the same problem at one point in my life with a person I used to think was my best friend but, in the end I was the only one who tried and after I stopped trying I was questioned and then thrown away like one of those gums after you chew them too much XD. 

That helped me learn how to cut out toxic people and just all together know what's best for me. So, I guess experiences like this are good if you pick out the positive things and the lessons from them. 

If you need positive reinforcement or dad jokes or roasting people, my inbox is open any time ✨. Good luck with everything you are doing ☺️! 

HAH

Dad jokes, hell yeah I'll take you up on that offer

Thank you, with all the help and support I'm seeing on this thread, I feel like I can definitely do it and get better, and I do hope this helps to inspire others who are struggling too.

[Kira_Uchiha 92]

I wanted to keep you guys updated.
So... my girlfriend and I broke up a few hours back.

It feels unfair and horrible, but it is what it is.

[YuyoDrift 1540]

59 minutes ago, Kira_Uchiha said:

It feels unfair and horrible, but it is what it is.

So what now? What's the next move for @Kira_Uchiha?

 

[Kira_Uchiha 92]

38 minutes ago, YuyoDrift said:

So what now? What's the next move for @Kira_Uchiha?

 

What now?
The same thing we do every night, Pinky - try to take over the worl-
Wait no x)

Well now, I'll just keep on going with my life, and do my best, strive to improve myself and work on my future, write as many songs as I can.

But as of rn, I'll focus on moving on first I guess, which is going to be quite a bitch since we go to the same uni and do the same course.

Edited February 19, 2018 by Kira_Uchiha
typo