Age difference

[ArtFart 375]

My boyfriend is 10 years and some months older than me. He is the second person for me to date with this large of an age gap. I've dated people 3-5 years older than me, and honestly, I'm having way better luck with my boyfriend than I had with the people closer to my age.... the 5 year age difference guy even would freak out about the age gap between me and him lol

I don't think I would date a guy younger than me, but for girls I'm cool with them being younger or older. 20 years is the highest age gap I'm willing to go though......

[YuyoDrift 1540]

2 hours ago, Scarlet Obsidian said:

Well, I think I have a pretty -should I say weird?- opinion on this. 

 

First of all, it shouldn't stop you from dating anyone older or younger than you, even if it's a difficult idea to grasp,but there are some cases with a couple consisting of, let's say, a 15yo girl and, for example, a 22yo guy where the younger is more mature than the older (which SHOULD be the contrary). In facts, imo the "real" age lies in the mind and soul of a person.

 

Second of all, I like both men and women and it's different for one and for the other gender: with the first I'd date men way much older than me, like  from 35 AT LEAST til 50 more or less. ((#daddyissues)(yes, I'm weird, I know XD)) With women I'd date someone around my age (20-23) or only a few years older. (not more than 30 anyway)

 

I don't know why my mind thinks this way, but it does! LOL 

 

I'd agree with you if we were dealing with adults BOTH above the age of 21, where by at that point, a majority of the experiences that the average person would have, have already happened (ex: Graduating HS, going to college, being able to drink/smoke legally.) 

 

Dating someone up to 50 (pull an Anna Nicole) years older after you're 21 is accepted (although criticism is still headed your way if it's a 10+ age difference) in today's society. You are both like-minded individuals, pursuing the same thing. Someone else that can make you happy and share your life goals with for example.

Sounds like @ArtFart's case with her current BF. Glad to know you're doing well.

 

What I don't agree with, is dating someone who has not yet experienced any of that (i.e. teenage years.) Most likely, they don't even know what they want in a relationship.

Actually makes me sick to my stomach to think that there are people who only date underage (yes, this is a thing).

 

For example, I know someone who I used to call a friend who is 26, dating a 16 year old. Does that seem right to you? if it does, then you have more gall than most people.

 

I know my ex-friend's situation, where he's at the age where he needs to start thinking about something permanent to start the next stage of his life, according to his family.

But what about the person they're dating? For god's sake, they aren't even out of high school, let alone be able to be out at night legally lol.

 

Does my ex-friend really believe that their love interest has their life even planned out yet?

Will they even want to stay with my ex-friend after high school (assuming it lasts that long)? Or is it just a phase for them?

I'm pretty sure she's going to leave him.

 

In his mind, he is playing for keeps. I'm sure of it. So I'm sure it's gonna end badly.

 

I wanna believe that people in these types of relationships are in it for keeps, I really do. Any other reason (just sex, or as a trophy), and you're worse than most of the scum in prison imo. You're wasting their time, their youth, and yours as well. They don't know any better. They're dumb, horny kids. (or if they're psychotic, it will be their excuse) You on the other hand, should. 

 

My question for those who are in this type of relationship:

Why struggle keeping something, that in the back of your mind, you know is not gonna work? Or do you really believe it CAN work?

I mean:

That teenager can't go out past curfew.

That teenager can't drink/smoke, let alone be allowed in a bar after 10pm (here in states).

That teenager can't even be seen with you by their friends (they may think you are a sex offender lol), let alone anyone they know (unless YOU look young).

Will their parents even be OK with someone as old as you dating their kid?

You realize they have the say in the relationship right? right?

 

More shit that I don't even want to think about, so I'll get to the point.

 

Why a teenager? Really, why?

I can't wait to see the justification for this. I'm sure they're aware they can spend time in jail if they're caught, and be labeled as a child molester. 

 

Seriously, do tell.

 

 

[Nagisa 131]

I know someone around my age who did that and had to go to jail.

[The Bread Wolf 231]

8 hours ago, YuyoDrift said:

My question for those who are in this type of relationship:

Why struggle keeping something, that in the back of your mind, you know is not gonna work? Or do you really believe it CAN work?

I mean:

That teenager can't go out past curfew.

That teenager can't drink/smoke, let alone be allowed in a bar after 10pm (here in states).

That teenager can't even be seen with you by their friends (they may think you are a sex offender lol), let alone anyone they know (unless YOU look young).

Will their parents even be OK with someone as old as you dating their kid?

You realize they have the say in the relationship right? right?

 

More shit that I don't even want to think about, so I'll get to the point.

 

Why a teenager? Really, why?

I can't wait to see the justification for this. I'm sure they're aware they can spend time in jail if they're caught, and be labeled as a child molester. 

 

Seriously, do tell.

 

 

Personally I have never been in a relationship with a teenager, other than when I was a teenager myself, but let me clear things up for you.

 

Some teenagers don't have a curfew. Like myself when I was younger. My parents didn't give me many restrictions at all and didn't care who I dated and how late I was out, and I'm positive my situation is not one of a kind, so in these terms, dating a teenager is absolutely possible.

 

Teenager can't legally drink or smoke, but hey, there ARE adults who don't do that either. When I was a teen, I pretty much dated only people, who didn't drink or smoke, because I disliked both. In fact, I still do. I'm perfectly legal and an adult, and so is my boyfriend, and neither of us drinks or smokes. So that shouldn't be an issue either.

 

Among some teenagers dating an older guy is also considered cool. So yeah, if the kid's friends think that way, you can definitely be seen with your significant other. Again, not an issue at all.

 

Parents can definitely be a problem, and should be a problem. Parents should know that no matter how mature their little angel seems to be, they are still a kid. Their brain has not developed all the way and their mind is fickle. Adults are capable of such fine forms of manipulation, that even other adults have difficulty recognizing it, yet alone a teenager. They can be pushed beyond their limits in the most horrible ways. And the same way an adult can't take a teenagers word for the face value. I refuse to believe any teenager is one hundred percent confident in what they want in life, and things change more easily in their life and mind. That's why I see pretty much anyone with a huge age difference dating someone under 20 years old immoral. 

 

Why a teenager though? Well, what I've heard is that a lot of the older guys and gals feel young again when they're dating someone younger than them. So... there's a reason? 

 

 

I myself have no problem with an age gap as long as it's within reasonable limits. I would say both parties should be over 20 before an age difference like that can be acceptable. In fact, I have found myself being attracted to guys younger than me, fairly recently as well. My baby isn't more than 10 months younger than me, but I've found some 19 to 23-year-olds pretty hot as well (for the record, I'm turning 26 this year, so I'm not quite a cougar yet). As for girls... I feel more confident when I'm flirting with girls younger than me, but if I was to form a lasting relationship with another lassie, she'd probably have to be older, at least mentally, because I'm an eternal kid at heart.

 

That being said, I have drooled over some older men too (liek Danny from Ninja Sex Party, closing in on 40), but whenever I think whether I'd like to have a relationship with them, I always end up seeing myself in a very different life situation than them, and thus, it's all for naught. So... yeah, I don't think I would date one.

[Hakari 282]

Age doesn't matter at all. What matters is maturity. If you and your partner are at the same level of maturity I think it's alright. I know people who are in their late 30's and are ridiculous while I know some young people in their 20's who act years above them.

 

I believe true selfless love is a wonderful thing, putting your spouse before yourself, and in those regards there is no limit or boundary in regards to age difference.

[SadMoomin 289]

My boyfriend has about 9 years older and it's also the biggest age gap I had in a relationship. So my opinion about this is that, as long as you have legal age and the person isn't unhealthy or abusive to you, I don't see anything wrong. I always been attracted to people older than me tbh, lol. I don't think i'd be able to date someone younger, i dunno.

Edited September 30, 2016 by SadMoomin

[lichtlune 915]

So basically when I get into my thirties I'm supposed to get all the babes right? 

[Tokage 5930]

Large age gaps are for people with mommy/daddy issues

[emmny 4139]

im calling the fbi on this thread

also age isnt just a number--anyone whos been with people older/younger knows what generally comes with the territory. what you chose to make of that determines what you really want out of the relationship

Edited October 4, 2016 by emmny

[Ro plz 1290]

My stance on this is that, as you get older...there should be age caps. 

 

I'm 25 but the youngest I'm willing to date (if it came to be) is someone 19 going into 20. Nothing below that. As I get older, the age cap grows. 

[togz 2004]

My last boyfriend was 6 years younger even though I told myself I'd never date anyone more than 3 years younger than myself. But really I prefer to date older people .___.

[Euthanasia 333]

Some people in this thread is really judgmental. 

I know a couple that has a 6 years age gap, who met when the other one was young and the other one was 20+. They have celebrated their 30 years anniversary. 

Love can happen in any age, and just because you haven't experienced it doesn't mean that it don't exist.  

 

Me personally don't really care about age, however the few people I've fallen for has always been older.

 

 

Edited October 4, 2016 by Euthanasia

[Komorebi 2193]

This is a hard to discuss issue... While I say that age shouldn't matter and that as long as two people share the same goals/want the same things in life, it shouldn't matter much how old they are.

 

However, there's a certain threshold under which it does matter. As some users have mentioned already, there's the "brain development" thing and the "life experiences" thing that can really hinder a relationship and no matter how much you love someone, if that person simply cannot fit well in your life because they are too immature to properly discuss some issues or maybe because they are still in highschool and you are already done with college... then why even try to force a relationship?

 

Not to even mention sexual issues. 

[Takadanobabaalien 3607]

I consider my "age range" to be 20-30 (I'm 25). But I guess if I would start liking an 18 year old or a 35 year old I obviously wouldn't let that be a hinder. (Although below 18 is zenzen dame).