Bullying topic

[Nyasagi 259]

I can relate to many things you wrote, ishiki. I just stopped being social due to bad experience with people, I simply don't know how to make friends anymore.

[beni 2149]

I remember the years before I got bullied, I was an enthusiastic and hyperactive school girl who always tried her best in her work, aiming for the best scores, and wanting to befriend everyone and anyone I met and always wanting to have a good, fun time. I was only bullied through my lower school years, so it was about two or three years until I spoke out about the bullies and it was stopped. I should be thankful it was never physical, but it was the hardest thing I had went through since I never expected such an experience and at that age. I didn't care about my appearance until they started insulting everything about me, facially and of my figure. I had always been small, and I was never confident about having curly hair and having to wear glasses, so I was an easy target for those reasons. I loved doing PE, but because I always won, I was called names and put down for it, so I started purposely losing and doing worse to allow the other girls to beat me. I lost my passion for the one lesson I loved in school for this reason, and now I'm not sporty at all at this age because I think I can't do it anymore or others think I'm not suited for it now due to my frame which isn't as petite unlike then. I pretended to be dumb and unenthusiastic in maths because other students would steal my work and copy it and then ruin it so I wouldn't do any homework or answer any questions. I would eat somewhere inside the school building because the same girls would take away my lunch by dropping it on the ground. I wanted to avoid my lessons, school, and the outside world just because of a couple of girls and a group of boys. After all this stopped, I became negative about everything and everyone. I was suddenly not happy to go to school, a place I enjoyed going to since I first started it. In previous years, about age fifteen and sixteen, I was much worse with that attitude than I am now, thinking everyone was mean and out to verballing hurt me. I started avoiding meeting new people due to this changed outlook on others, and I significally hated going outside and this still has a massive toll on me because I am ever so unsocial even now. I'm afraid of others judging me but that's what we all do either way. The negativity and rejection is what I now find most scary. And now, due to those years, I can't walk or stand straight nor can I keep/lift my head up when walking. I always look outwardly uncomfortable and anxious.

While others grow through the experience and become a better person, I became a worse person. Bullying is a topic that becomes avoided and forgotten at times, and isn't dealt with as well as it should be.

I'm trying to work on slowly building my confidence and happy attitude throughout these past few years. The only way is up, right? On a final note, if you're being bullied at the moment, the best thing to do is always tell someone around you about it and confront the bullies with that person/those people. It solved my experience, and it's never happened to me ever since. So I want to encourage that. It takes a massive toll, so don't let it happen or stop it as soon as possible. This was quite eww to type up, so I hope I didn't waffle too much.

[nullmoon 784]

This topic makes me feel so down On behalf of the decent people of the world, I just want to apologise that you guys got dealt this shitty hand. Although it might not seem like it at times, the world isn't full of the awful people you have encountered. There are some really awesome people out there who can actually make you feel special, loved and...equal I guess. Don't give up on people, or on yourselves. Everyone is special and loveable, and no one has the right to take that away from you

[Nyasagi 259]

Telling someone doesn't solve anything. I've always been open about being bullied, but even if someone actually did something, the kids didn't give a fuck. Most of the time I heard it's just a phase and that if they bully me, there's probably something wrong about me. Yes, adults told me this kind of crap. I wonder if they were bullies in their school times...

[nullmoon 784]

It's more likely that there's something wrong with the bully. Bullies are usually the way they are due to poor self esteem and personal insecurities. They bully others due to an inability to face and improve upon their own failings. Notice how they usually go for the people who are doing better than they are academically/socially/physically?

It all just boils down to jealousy. Rather than better themselves, these people would rather drag everyone down to their level.

TL;DR - 'Umbra used Pop Psychology. It was super effective!'

[Lestat 2167]

Can you consider that for instance, in @ishiki's case, an entire school's company has issues like this? Including teachers, janitors, parents of the students, etc.? This means that only a select group of people worldwide initially has at least a neutral perspection of this world, meaning they are of good nature and mean no harm whatsoever, until they get bullied, and that the rest of them (the attacking group, consider this almost the entire world population when we go by your reasoning, ) are bullies and people of low worth by nature? It must mean that the greatest percentage of this world's population is purely evil and closeminded (the latter I won't argue about, however, as this is entirely true). Usually it has nothing to do with the bully's self-esteem or self-worth. These are likely perfectly fine, as people like this usually have tons of good friends and solid relationships, and the bullying solely exists because these people will have themselves to praise once they prove they can control someone. 

 

People always seek differences from themselves and feel an insisting need and pressure to point other people on these differences. This cannot be done subtly, subtleness in pointing someone on their "mistakes" simply does not exist. The victim will always feel attacked, will always feel undermined no matter what strength someone persists they bear within themselves. The reaction that is caused is what triggers bullies to continue; they have an effect on someone — and negatively affecting someone is much easier than positively affecting someone. Especially during highschool, it's a challenge to succumb to emotional situations that involve positivity or even a neutral state of mind regarding a certain issue, or person. It is much easier to bear a grudge against someone, to point out what is unlikeable about their clothes, their hair, their manner of speech, or their interests, especially if these are particularly different from what the usual trench of teenagers prefers. You must wear brand clothing, you must enjoy the modern day music (pop, hip hop and r&b only, anything that hasn't appeared in the charts is an abomination), you must be willing to gossip and talk badly of other people, you must drink, smoke, have lots of unprotected sex, and possibly even enjoy other narcotics, and partying until you'll either end up passed out in someone's bathroom or even in the hospital is required at least once or twice in a lifetime. I have learnt that anything that strays from this behaviour is not accepted — or at least you'll end up with fewer friends and acquaintances because you would not fit into the widely accepted flock of sheep because you'll have nothing in common with those people.

 

Today's generation is especially bad, surely bullying has existed throughout mankind's entire existence but it hasn't come to the surface as strongly as it has in the past two decades. Bullies cannot be taught otherwise. Selfishness is in our nature and it will never leave our system. The only thing we can do about it is improve our mental healthcare as something to crash upon after an extended period has passed, as bully-awareness does nothing to schools or work-environments. It cannot be stopped, it cannot be solved by any organization or a grand speech by great speakers. Bullying is, and will always remain a taboo, no matter how much the issue is pressed upon from time to time,

[nullmoon 784]

Unfortunately I haven't read ishiki's particular case. Regardless, I am not under the delusion that all bullies are like this, hence the self deprecating 'pop psychology'. I'm not at all insinuating that all bullies should be excused or sympathised with.

As bullying is being exposed on here, I just think it's better to give people encouragement than tell them it's essentially futile to try and stop things. Maybe it's wrong to do so, but in all honesty if I were being bullied I'd rather have someone try and make me feel better than implying that the bully always wins due to social ignorance.

[Aferni 2381]

 Adults are known to do nothing within these situations, that's why I started online classes because I got tired of getting into fights because someone wants to pick on me. Everyone I ended up befriending used and lied to me. I fought my so called "Best Friend" a week before I left school because apparently he never liked me. I tried to make friends as best as I could but it really didn't work seeing as how I'm a shy person. The few ones I made were two faced liars who ended up spreading rumors about me being gay or being a thief ect. None of the lies really added up but people believed them and avoided me like the plague. It hurt a lot for a while but I became numb to it. Surprisingly I had befriended a new female student and we talked for a while and we became really close but it was another ruse. For half of the school year we talked and hung out and we dated for a short while but that's when I found out she was seeing another guy while with me. It honestly hit me hard because I assumed she was the only person at the school that I could trust, on top of that she talked about me behind my back, she stole from me, and acted like she didn't even know me when she was around her friends. I couldn't get the counselor to help me because it seemed like what I said to them went in one ear and out of the other, the Principal just told me he'd get to it but he never did anything. When someone else needed a problem fixed He'd hop right on it but whenever I went to him nothing happened. I honestly never understood. From then on it became stressful even waking up in the morning, I couldn't sleep, I couldn't eat and my blood pressure heightened often.  As a result I have an enlarged heart and was diagnosed with Depression, I became so down to the point where I'd stay home for a week from school every other week. It's hard to trust people because most of them are snakes. Back biting, two faced snakes.

[Nyasagi 259]

The ignorance around the whole issue is simply a fact. It doesn't mean the victim has to be quiet about it, no... I avoided some nasty situations (such as being accused of stuff, which was of course a lie) just because I wasn't afraid to speak about it, but it's just in my nature, also why would I hide anything, if it's not my fault? I only said that it doesn't solve anything, because even most teachers don't care... and even they can be bullied by students. I saw it a few times that the class made a teacher cry when they were too nice and couldn't handle all kids. The older I am, the more I understand. Adults are just big kids who have to play mature, because the society tells them to do so. Sometimes they may be helpful, but most of the time they don't do anything. Why? They may not care, or simply don't know how to fix the situation, or they're just assholes.

[Kawaii_Minpha 194]

Edit: Message deleted

[Nyasagi 259]

Even if I agree that school shouldn't exist in its current form anymore, it's not because bullying happens there. It also happens at work, at home, just anywhere, so you can't really avoid it, ishiki. It's in the human nature to be an asshole, so better be prepared people will hurt you many, many times... they really will. No one can be trusted, but if someone's nice, just be prepared they may turn away from you one day. I enjoy the company of my online friends, but I'm prepared for being hurt. It's tough, but with the right attitude it goes away. Even if they aren't bullies, people are still awful, you can't change it. You can only change how you deal with it inside of your head.

[Kawaii_Minpha 194]

Edit: Message deleted

[Total Saikou 735]

Necro'd this topic for a fun fact about my username! It's not merely a pun, but also kind of stems from when I was bullied as a kid. I would say it was the worst when I was in 2nd grade, probably because a lot of my friends left my side and sometimes I would have kids throwing things at me (mostly playground pebbles and the occasional toy, I always got into so much trouble just because I would throw them back!). I got called a lot of names, like psycho, spaz, freak, and even retard (makes me sad to think that at 9-10 years old, those kids knew that word). Yeah, I remember the phrase "total psycho" from my childhood really well. To be honest, I'm not really sure what came first, my perverse behaviour as a child or being called all these names and being treated like a pariah. I kind of own it now, though. I'm proud to be psycho... A Saikou  Because if you look at it from a different perspective, even bad things can be good. 

Edited October 3, 2020 by Total Saikou