JRD

This is gonna be long.
 
I suffer from  GAD, Social Anxiety, Bi-Polar, and depression. I've been taking these with a lot of meds. including Alprozalam; which in itself is extremely addicting and after a while your body becomes dependent on it. I've been suffering 4 years of trying to ween off of this, which most would consider xanax. I hold a high paying job and working on my graduates in English; the stress level that comes with it combined with my irrational fear of looking people in the eyes, sitting next to people, eating out in public, being around people I don't know would give me extreme anxiety and panic attacks. Xanax would calm me down and destroy this fight or flight response, but I began to abuse it for the littlest of things; like running to the grocery store, shopping, etc. Every day I've been taking less and less of Xanax and my Therapist has been trying to get me into group therapy; but I can't stand being in a room talking about feelings with people I don't know.
 
What triggered all this was just one acid trip from hell. I've been raving for well over ten years at this point, but a fateful day 5 years ago, at EDC, that changed my life forever. I've always suffered from these symptoms, but the bad acid trip from hell forever changed my life. 
 
Don't judge the drugs on this kids; once you try something and you like it, there's a fight everyday of your life to resist the urge to stay sober. If it wasn't for my determination to live abroad for 2 years, I would never have been here today. I thought about suicide to end my suffering. I still have the scars from my attempt, but in the end seeing the eyes of the people you love when you struggle to live or die is the most hurtful.

This is gonna be long.
 
I suffer from  GAD, Social Anxiety, Bi-Polar, and depression. I've been taking these with a lot of meds. including Alprozalam; which in itself is extremely addicting and after a while your body becomes dependent on it. I've been suffering 4 years of trying to ween off of this, which most would consider xanax. I hold a high paying job and working on my graduates in English; the stress level that comes with it combined with my irrational fear of looking people in the eyes, sitting next to people, eating out in public, being around people I don't know would give me extreme anxiety and panic attacks. Xanax would calm me down and destroy this fight or flight response, but I began to abuse it for the littlest of things; like running to the grocery store, shopping, etc. Every day I've been taking less and less of Xanax and my Therapist has been trying to get me into group therapy; but I can't stand being in a room talking about feelings with people I don't know.
 
What triggered all this was just one acid trip from hell. I've been raving for well over ten years at this point, but a fateful day 5 years ago, at EDC, that changed my life forever. I've always suffered from these symptoms, but the bad acid trip from hell forever changed my life. 
 
Don't judge the drugs on this kids; once you try something and you like it, there's a fight everyday of your life to resist the urge to stay sober. If it wasn't for my determination to live abroad for 2 years, I would never have been here today. I thought about suicide to end my suffering. I still have the scars from my attempt, but in the end seeing the eyes of the people you love when you struggle to live or die is the most hurtful.

This is gonna be long.
 
I suffer from  GAD, Social Anxiety, Bi-Polar, and depression. I've been taking these with a lot of meds. including Alprozalam; which in itself is extremely addicting and after a while your body becomes dependent on it. I've been suffering 4 years of trying to ween off of this, which most would consider xanax. I hold a high paying job and working on my graduates in English; the stress level that comes with it combined with my irrational fear of looking people in the eyes, sitting next to people, eating out in public, being around people I don't know would give me extreme anxiety and panic attacks. Xanax would calm me down and destroy this fight or flight response, but I began to abuse it for the littlest of things; like running to the grocery store, shopping, etc. Every day I've been taking less and less of Xanax and my Therapist has been trying to get me into group therapy; but I can't stand being in a room talking about feelings with people I don't know.
 
What triggered all this was just one acid trip from hell. I've been raving for well over ten years at this point, but a fateful day 5 years ago, at EDC, that changed my life forever. I've always suffered from these symptoms, but the bad acid trip from hell forever changed my life. 
 
Don't judge the drugs on this kids; once you try something and you like it, there's a fight everyday of your life to resist the urge to stay sober. If it wasn't for my determination to live abroad for 2 years, I would never have been here today. I thought about suicide to end my suffering. I still have the scars from my attempt, but in the end seeing the eyes of the people you love when you struggle to live or die is the most hurtful.

I hacked this account. I've read all the messages and please inbox me anything that I left unfinished 2 years ago. I'll gladly sort everything out. And why fuh am I not an Iconic member. More than 300 of these post have been me uploading rares for you kids.

Welcome back!

Long time no see!

Glad to see you back! It's been so long.
Hope everything is all right on your end.

welcome back!!!

I hacked this account. I've read all the messages and please inbox me anything that I left unfinished 2 years ago. I'll gladly sort everything out. And why fuh am I not an Iconic member. More than 300 of these post have been me uploading rares for you kids.

Yooooo- Welcome Back!!! 

Welcome back!! ♥

I hacked this account. I've read all the messages and please inbox me anything that I left unfinished 2 years ago. I'll gladly sort everything out. And why fuh am I not an Iconic member. More than 300 of these post have been me uploading rares for you kids.

Showing what makeup and haircut can do to your face. So the different faces of JRD
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Also I lift, so don't come for me.
 
 

Meguru added me to his personal Twitter(not the public one) I'm so happy. I asked him a few question that confirmed that We're missing 5 extremely rare songs. I hope he send me them one day.
 
They're called
『混』,『乱』,『番』,『組』,憶測のVenus

Dai will come back and everyone is gonna have to choose which forum we want to be apart of. IAMWILL will come back and flame anyone that says anything bad about Diru, and don't forget about KAWON either, e.t.c,
 
I miss the drama T.T but here's to another 10 years of us BSing and going into our 30s and caring about guys dressing up and looking pretty for underage girls with their over the top host club look and more bad vocals please!?

Dai will come back and everyone is gonna have to choose which forum we want to be apart of. IAMWILL will come back and flame anyone that says anything bad about Diru, and don't forget about KAWON either, e.t.c,
 
I miss the drama T.T but here's to another 10 years of us BSing and going into our 30s and caring about guys dressing up and looking pretty for underage girls with their over the top host club look and more bad vocals please!?

Dai will come back and everyone is gonna have to choose which forum we want to be apart of. IAMWILL will come back and flame anyone that says anything bad about Diru, and don't forget about KAWON either, e.t.c,
 
I miss the drama T.T but here's to another 10 years of us BSing and going into our 30s and caring about guys dressing up and looking pretty for underage girls with their over the top host club look and more bad vocals please!?

Dai will come back and everyone is gonna have to choose which forum we want to be apart of. IAMWILL will come back and flame anyone that says anything bad about Diru, and don't forget about KAWON either, e.t.c,
 
I miss the drama T.T but here's to another 10 years of us BSing and going into our 30s and caring about guys dressing up and looking pretty for underage girls with their over the top host club look and more bad vocals please!?

Dai will come back and everyone is gonna have to choose which forum we want to be apart of. IAMWILL will come back and flame anyone that says anything bad about Diru, and don't forget about KAWON either, e.t.c,
 
I miss the drama T.T but here's to another 10 years of us BSing and going into our 30s and caring about guys dressing up and looking pretty for underage girls with their over the top host club look and more bad vocals please!?

Dai will come back and everyone is gonna have to choose which forum we want to be apart of. IAMWILL will come back and flame anyone that says anything bad about Diru, and don't forget about KAWON either, e.t.c,
 
I miss the drama T.T but here's to another 10 years of us BSing and going into our 30s and caring about guys dressing up and looking pretty for underage girls with their over the top host club look and more bad vocals please!?

Dai will come back and everyone is gonna have to choose which forum we want to be apart of. IAMWILL will come back and flame anyone that says anything bad about Diru, and don't forget about KAWON either, e.t.c,
 
I miss the drama T.T but here's to another 10 years of us BSing and going into our 30s and caring about guys dressing up and looking pretty for underage girls with their over the top host club look and more bad vocals please!?

Dai will come back and everyone is gonna have to choose which forum we want to be apart of. IAMWILL will come back and flame anyone that says anything bad about Diru, and don't forget about KAWON either, e.t.c,
 
I miss the drama T.T but here's to another 10 years of us BSing and going into our 30s and caring about guys dressing up and looking pretty for underage girls with their over the top host club look and more bad vocals please!?

Dai will come back and everyone is gonna have to choose which forum we want to be apart of. IAMWILL will come back and flame anyone that says anything bad about Diru, and don't forget about KAWON either, e.t.c,
 
I miss the drama T.T but here's to another 10 years of us BSing and going into our 30s and caring about guys dressing up and looking pretty for underage girls with their over the top host club look and more bad vocals please!?

Dai will come back and everyone is gonna have to choose which forum we want to be apart of. IAMWILL will come back and flame anyone that says anything bad about Diru, and don't forget about KAWON either, e.t.c,
 
I miss the drama T.T but here's to another 10 years of us BSing and going into our 30s and caring about guys dressing up and looking pretty for underage girls with their over the top host club look and more bad vocals please!?

Showing what makeup and haircut can do to your face. So the different faces of JRD
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Also I lift, so don't come for me.