I've been sick since the end of November but the good thing that comes of it is I got to do a lot of personal art. It only took about 5 months for my meditation landscape to become fucked lol
handful more of nama + misc since i last posted (large pic dump jsyk)
I can't believe October is already here, and the event coming this Friday... I feel like just yesterday I was posting about the project lol.
I've got everything done now, I never posted the color of the above, also recently finished Carnage oil painting...felt very rushed because the deadline changed.
Think PS stuffed up the bg color I'll have to fix it.
Venom colored
I'm glad to be done but it's not very exciting since it's not personal work.
I'm being suffocated by all these holidays of plastic junk. When I go to the shop, in order to survive since not like there's any other place to get food while you're in a city specifically in order to survive both winter and abet starvation alike, my fucking apples and cabbages are being strangled by the sights and sounds made out of shit shipped over from some third world shit hole that's being kept a shit-hole in perpetuum in order continue keep the ships of rubbish afloat and running for the benefit of the endless accumulation of garbage. Rotting from inside, the buildings in erosion and on my way to work I count the empty bottles on the sidewalk and wonder what sort of masochistic affection I have towards all life's nonsense that I just don't drink every day out of spite, but instead eat lentils and broccoli and go to gym to keep a healthy libido to fuck until my designated decline and end. One tries to find beauty somewhere, and yet is crippled by acute self-awareness and unable to convince oneself that such exists in anything but illusion and in consciously compromising ones critical faculties. What will I do when I can't even shit by my own damn self, and when I finally resign myself all my hopes of dissolving within cracks of the social fabric and unravelling it from the inside and bury them before me like a son sent home from the battlefield.
I've been trying to figure out whether the world was at least a modicum more tolerable before American culture shat all over it and deprived civilisation of its last vestiges of pride & dignity, only to realise that the only difference now is that we're just too self-aware to be proud of anything, and anyone putting themselves in front of a gun was probably just overcompensating because he was molested or lacked physical connection with a parent during early infancy.
In my family there's a child, not ours but one taken in out of good will and philantrophy -this is a lie-, who's on the steady downward spiral that are usually being met by those from similar backgrounds of deprivation and abuse. I try to look into his eyes to find something there, a shred of humanity or compassion, and all I'm able to see is just painfully dull; so achingly dull in fact that I don't even care as we descend together into the usual petty crime, which has already begun, and with age comes alcoholism and drug abuse leading either to death or religious conversion. I remember at a class reunion years ago when one of my classmates had gotten back to the straight and narrow after having sniffed enough glue to have Jesus himself manifest in front of his eyes was wondering whether tattoos would be okay for one in with the Lord. Unfortunately I couldn't say, and in my mind I tried to admire animal vigour it takes to go so deep in such a thing, but I got bored even just half-way into the thought.
Convictions and conversions don't come easy. I could still bank in on some cataclysmic event to come along and shake up mine foundations and give some raison detre along my way, and I suppose in living the lifestyle I did, and to an extent still do, it was definitely on its way in some form. Almost a month back being drunk as I was I tried to straddle my way home in the middle of the night I was accosted by a back alley robber & adventurer possibly angered by something I had said before in the pub nearby, and in defense of my honor and belongings I engage in ill-conceived battle which I promptly went on to lose catastrophically. The first punch I caught while on straight feet, and as I was keeling over I remember being as joyous as I ever was that at least something was fucking going on in my life finally. Nevertheless, after putting up a less than commendable effort I take a few more punches for my efforts and being off my arse drunk as I was, I am left shaking my first and shouting as he takes of with my bag in victory. Trying to compose myself I come to realise i'm concussed, and the blood coming out of my mouth isn't helping either, I start vomiting profusely and next thing I know I wake up in a hospital in a foreign country where no one naturally speaks any English. After foiling my attempts at leaving politely by vomiting some more while trying to provide proof of my sobriety, I hatch a plot of daring escape where waiting for the nurses to be at the furthest edges of the two adjoining rooms; and so I run off for freedom through accumulating numbers of doors and identical rooms of seemingly no purpose whatsoever. As I make it to freedom, taking in a long, well-deserved breath of fresh big city air, I miraculously manage to navigate my living corpse to my lodgings covered in blood and vomit with barely even a quarter of my faculties left bearing with me.
Coming home I collapse on the bed and still, incredibly enough with the rush of violence well past behind me, I couldn't care less. About this life, about this world nor about anyone residing in it. There are fireworks going off outside, and I'm supposed to go the New year's party at my work place and I don't want to. I'm hoping to get ill before I have to go so that I'll at least have an excuse and won't feel bad about lying. I got one hour left.
Assorted Mei cheki + I actually got the calligraphy a bit earlier in the year (Mei's time in Memento Mori), but I've had to keep it wrapped in plastic until I could frame it.....didn't want that lipstick imprint fading..l o l
the venue was sold out.
90% of the people there were kuroyuri fans.
mei confirmed this is both the first and last time he will perform with this "band" (i.e. it's not a continuous session band).
he did 3 songs for his solo part, and then he participated in the "band" as well.
there's no actual setlist atm because they didnt recognize all songs, this is the only one confirmed so far.
I've been sick since the end of November but the good thing that comes of it is I got to do a lot of personal art. It only took about 5 months for my meditation landscape to become fucked lol
handful more of nama + misc since i last posted (large pic dump jsyk)
I think most of these are too situational or depending on context...either way these are definitely vastly different than how I would've answered six or seven years ago.
monday in class i was staring into space & the girl i liked was walking by & looking at me while i was staring into space. then later i was staring at the wall & when i looked over i see her looking at me & smiling while she had her hands on her head. then the next day in class i heard her saying "i don't know why he looks at me"?
My Halloween was pretty disappointing...had a lot of severe weather and tornado type stuff in the vicinity so only got to wear my costume an hour tops. (Well I like the severe weather...but not on Halloween come on!)
The vocalist of Morphine is an edge lord so I can imagine he'd like to do something like this. Also he is fatter than Mei and this guy looks as if Mei gained 10kg or so. But who knows, I hope it's Mei just like you but I don't want to end up disappointed. I know Mei's new band will come sooner or later. @Manji 卍
Edit: Just read the kuroyuri tanuki thread, some ppl there also thought it was Mei but it was debunked pretty quick as to being the vocalist of Morphine just trying to look like Mei.
I THINK THAT'S KARASUNA MEI,THE GREY HAIR,THE OUTFIT,THE PIERCINGS,NO SHOES (i kinda recognize his feet)
also that trailer reminds me the kuroyuri aesthetics and the samples used in the memento mori gigs
OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG DGAHDGSDHGSFDGSHGAS @karai · ebi @AimiGen7
karai · ebi reacted to Jigsaw9 in New band "☒☒☒☒" --> "アズルマ" (AZURMA) have formed
karai · ebi got a reaction from plastic_rainbow in ebi art roll
karai · ebi got a reaction from Mamo in ebi art roll
karai · ebi got a reaction from merchenticneurosis in Your last music-related buy!
karai · ebi got a reaction from appl- in 黒百合と影 Kuroyuri to kage
karai · ebi got a reaction from ghost in Show Yourself (again)
karai · ebi got a reaction from suji in モルヒネ (morphine) members new band 「mama.」formed