heresytrash

 It's healthier to recognise your feelings and be at peace with them imo, regardless of what they are. 

Can't speak for everyone, but trying to ignore or put aside your feelings is always a stopgap measure. While forgiveness can be one method, there are many other ways to confront your feelings; I think confrontation (internal or external) has to be one of the steps to healing.

Also recognition/realization > rationalization. 

In my experience, forgiveness is a process and doesn't happen over night. I think it's ultimately  most healthy to forgive, but it can't be forced...like if you're angry...or sad...or whatever...feel all of that completely with no judgment, but don't stay stuck in those emotions. You'll end up bogging yourself down and staying chained to a dead situation.

And yeah, forgiving someone doesn't mean you condone what they did. Not at all.

One thing that's helped me to forgive all of those who have hurt or betrayed me is #1 I realized that i'm more than capable of doing some fucked up shit too (tho I actively try NOT to). And  #2 people who abuse/hurt others, whether intentionally or not, are all operating from a place of darkness/blindness/ignorance. And that's a very sad place to be in. You have to be in a very dark place to feel like it's ok to hurt others in any way. I feel bad for people like that, and I've learned to have compassion on them.

It's all too easy to become overwhelmed by evil in this world, and there are a lot of convincing reasons to choose evil. The opposite is often more difficult, but it's far more rewarding.

As the Messiah said, "forgive them; for they know not what they do".