heresytrash

In my experience, forgiveness is a process and doesn't happen over night. I think it's ultimately  most healthy to forgive, but it can't be forced...like if you're angry...or sad...or whatever...feel all of that completely with no judgment, but don't stay stuck in those emotions. You'll end up bogging yourself down and staying chained to a dead situation.

And yeah, forgiving someone doesn't mean you condone what they did. Not at all.

One thing that's helped me to forgive all of those who have hurt or betrayed me is #1 I realized that i'm more than capable of doing some fucked up shit too (tho I actively try NOT to). And  #2 people who abuse/hurt others, whether intentionally or not, are all operating from a place of darkness/blindness/ignorance. And that's a very sad place to be in. You have to be in a very dark place to feel like it's ok to hurt others in any way. I feel bad for people like that, and I've learned to have compassion on them.

It's all too easy to become overwhelmed by evil in this world, and there are a lot of convincing reasons to choose evil. The opposite is often more difficult, but it's far more rewarding.

As the Messiah said, "forgive them; for they know not what they do".

I'm not gonna go too deeply into it, but I've been through some shite in my time and I can safely say that forgiveness was and still is the last thing on my mind. It's been over two years since any of it happened so I don't need to worry about it anymore, and I actually feel pretty great and more confident than ever now that it's over for good, but d'you know what? I didn't forgive anyone. I just look back and laugh at what awful, awful people they were and leave it at that. Way I see it, if you forgive them, you don't really learn anything and learning is the most vital thing you can do after something like that happens to you. Sure, I'm a bit colder than I once was but I know for a fact that if I told myself everything was okay and that those people were even worthy of licking the dirt on the underside of my boots, I would be too sweet for my own good. Forgiveness is an emotion, not an action, and I just don't feel it for certain people.

I've just read somewhere this week that not getting proper justice on abusive/unjust situations will eventually invite a snowballing sequence of same events in one's life, and while I don't necessarily agree with it, looking back on my own life it is true with a good amount of people.

repressing hurt feelings because someone's brain worms only leave them with the love&light&free forgiveness paradigm doesn't sound right for me either.