Manji 卍

If you're atheist like myself, and believe we're casted into "eternal oblivion" after death, the moment you die is the end of everything. Perception of time is limited to those who are living, but I take comfort in the fact that our remains become part of the earth. We are dispersed back into nature like the way we were born into it. 
 
It's scary, but aside from doing the "wrong" things, death is something you can't really control. So, just keep having fun, and be mindful of others who are also trying to have fun in life.
 
There's my r/im14andthisisdeep explanation, lol.
 
 

Living and dying sound equally scary to me sometimes.

@Komorebi now it's out 
https://m.vk.com/wall-35600031_109301

hey i hope you'll get better soon〜 mistakes are okay, feeling like shit is okay, it's all temporary. some time ago  you found out that geek stuff gives you strength, maybe later you'll find other things. it seems you have a rough time now but you know, if you failed something it doesn't mean everything is over. keep going in the direction you want. or take a break if you feel tired and don't know what to do yet. whatever is fine.

Didn't read everything, so maybe someone wrote it already:
It's one of your personality traits, just like technology Nerds are spending a fckn huge time with PC / Coding / Programing or stuff like this and spend most of there money on it or Music / Art anything. 
So see it as part of you, what makes you out/a bit of your person. 
You may got lost in a wrong though that's you now saw it like this? Cause I guess that's happens everyone with stuff like this by an time - but in the end the only thing which matters is that's it still makes you happy / you love it or things like this.

You guys are right,I really appreciated your thoughts on it.
I'm used to get "strength" from all these things I've collected and spent my time with since years. 
And recently I've been expecting to get the same strength (the reason I'm so into MH)  but it didn't work. Im always feeling Unfulfilled. Since I started my adult life,I'm feeling incredible oppressed,cuz I've screwed everything up and I'm not the young-adult I thought I'd be.

If it inspires you and makes you happy then I don't know why you'd think it was worthless. If you're getting pressure from others you'll have to learn to shake it off. Life is short, enjoy what you want to.

Well.. let's put it like this. (Warning, Autism incoming)
I reached many of my goals due to motivation i recieved by watching anime or listening to music.. im a good swimmer because Free! motivated me to start swimming in 2013, now i compete with my swim club. Crows/Worst tought me not to give a fuck about people who put you down, and im doing pretty good in College due to it. And then there's Initial D.. but being a good racer does not get me anywhere really, its just for fun haha.
What im trying to say is that everything is NOT useless if you like it. If you enjoy VK take your motivation from there, and fuck what society says. No one gets to dictate what you enjoy other than yourself.

You're doing it for the wrong reasons then. Realising things like that in the way you're describing is just a part of growing up imo. Of course "geeky" stuff like obsessing over music or anime won't be enough to fulfill you. But that doesn't mean that it's "worthless". You'll have to transgress the thought that all this stuff makes up who you are, that's not a helpful perspective. But the fact that these things are a part of your life in the way they are is actually interesting and says a lot about you.

Nobody will treat you as an attentionwhore, I suppose. So, feel free to share your thoughts and create a thread. MH is pretty friendly board, after all.

waiting for your story.

A lot of people here are going through the same stuff, more than you can imagine. Like you said, this forum is more than just a forum to a lot of people. More of a close community. So if you feel you want to reach out, don't hesitate. 

You can write it personally if you feel you need it. Dealing with some dark issues too tbh, so why not.

thank you so much,guys,for caring about.
i feel pathetic for saying it,but this forum became something more to me at some aspects.
i decided not to create it,cuz i am sure,this is really really dark,and i don't wanna get to exposed,nor encourage anyone into such stuff.so...again,thank you so much.

thank you so much,guys,for caring about.
i feel pathetic for saying it,but this forum became something more to me at some aspects.
i decided not to create it,cuz i am sure,this is really really dark,and i don't wanna get to exposed,nor encourage anyone into such stuff.so...again,thank you so much.

Some here https://archive.org/search.php?query=suehiro maruo&sin=TXT
 
More here: http://www.mangago.me/r/l_search/?name=suehiro+maruo
can't find a direct download batch tho

No idea how many of the links are still active, but Systems of Romance always had cool shit, you can find some good stuff in the affiliated blogs as well

Haven't used metalarea.org in a long time, but it used to be excellent. If you wanted a demo from1987 that was released in 7 copies, that was the place to find it.
 
If you don't mind torrents, then metal-tracker.com is really good. Not only black metal, but it's very good for black metal as well as most other metal sub genres. As people who upload have to add their own genre the genre tags might come as cross as a bit messy, but it works. This, metalarea and a few dead black metal blogspots used to be my go-to's for years until I more or less stopped downloading music a few years ago.

There's a Russian message board metalarea.org - it's pretty easy to register to, and is constantly updated with new releases (and most of the older releases' dead links get replaced frequently too). This is for the black metal part of your question obviously.  For post-punk I don't know of any other 'one' source except the Stench of Death blog.

See also: Crispy Nuggets, Mutant Sounds, Ten Thousand Eyes, Kentucky Fried Wave, Fantasmi Macchina
Again, idk how many of the links are active since some of them havent been maintained since like 2k13 but you'll at least be able to find a bunch of varied obscure 70s / 80s post-punk/minimal synth/industrial/new wave/synthpop stuff on those

I am going to download ape escape for the PS4 (*_*)
And gaming that for the evening.
But no alcohol.
Got hungover yesterday... Body somehow didn't accept the WINE o(=o=)o

Again, Netflix had NOTHING to do with the actual content of Death Note. They purchase the rights to movies and produce them (aka, give money for the creators to use), but they do not decide on the content within the movies and series. Changing the skin color of the characters, their sex, the plot or whatever is all up to the actual creators of the shows and movies, not Netflix. Netflix do not mess around with the creative process of the creation of films and series. It's all up to the creators involved. This also why Netflix is getting bigger and bigger in a ridiculously high tempo, and are able to attract so many big names, as well as new, unknown people.
 
If you're an indie film maker and manage to get the attention of Netflix, you'll be able to fulfill your vision of a film as you get more money than you ever could dream of as an indie film maker, and you'll get a creative freedom that you won't get anywhere else.
 
Same goes for big name directors. Where they for the major studios will have to think about the income and what the film can earn, at Netflix they can make the film NC-17 if they feel like, and Netflix won't mind. Because it's not up to them, as they don't get involved in the creative process of the film.
 
I wrote some posts about this in the Cowboy Bebop live action thread if you're interested in knowing more.
 
 
tl;dr: Netflix just doesn't get involved when it comes to creativity. It's that simple.

The most stupid thing I've ever seen. Leave old series alone for fuck's sake, stop editing stuff for relatable points. 

Yes, someone tell Netflix that. Because as we all know it's Netflix who're deciding upon this, not the actual creators of the series. You know, people like Eugene Son who's the writer and Yoshiharu Ashino who's directing.

Although, some hilarious memes came out of Shun being a girl now. 
https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=1116603731835827&id=913927458770123&ref=m_notif&notif_t=feed_comment_reply
 
Translation
Ikki: My brother is a woman now, let's respect her
Seiya: what do you mean Nesquikki, we are knights. They'll ruin the anime
Ikki: Representation bruh
Seiya: screw you man, they're gonna kill a character just for representation points? 
Hyoga: You are only looking at it from a nostalgia point of view. I actually think it'll be very interesting to re-enact some classic scenes with our new friend
Hyoga: just thinking about it raises my cosmos