Looks a bit bleak for the band. It does seem weird they are still pushing so much without a complete lineup, cool that they are trying to make do given the situation but seriously they need to get it together and become a solid unit again. ORRRR they can just call it quits and Retsu can do his own solo project called "DIMLIM2" and just do the music on the side of his job as a salary man. Or, 3rd option, they can wait until summer 2020 when I hopefully will be moving to Japan (fingers crossed!) and I can join them as second guitarist OR bassist OR BOTH and help pull them out of their slump. lol.
Wow - it's been a long time since this happened, but I remembered mentioning I'd write up a report and life has finally slowed down enough for me to try and do just that!
This was a show I felt really lucky to be able to attend while I was there - it was the night before I was scheduled to leave Tokyo and had multiple acts I had hoped to see while I was in Japan. I'll get right to it (though this might be a bit "stream of consciousness" so bear with my antics and anecdotes)
On this afternoon my wife and I were wandering Ikebukuro before we were going to go to 高田馬場AREA for this live. She doesn't have much interest in VK and we were nearing the end of our trip, so she planned on watching a band or two and heading back to our accommodations in Shinjuku.
When we arrived, she saw the line (on an incline going down a hill) and basically said "yeah, no" so I took her back to the train station (where there was a ginormous R指定 banner hanging over the staircase) while we had time to spare. Funnily enough, I went to the restroom before returning to the venue and in that time she realized she left our wifi box in my bag, so she walked back to the venue to track me down. Somehow everyone was already inside and she assumed I had gone in, too -- but I also had her ticket (I wasn't thinking much this day...)
She then attempted to track down "blonde gaijin" in broken Japanese with the gentleman running the door who reluctantly (yet surprisingly???) let her run into the live hall and find me. At this point I am walking back to the venue and see her on the sidewalk. I am very confused so she explains the whole silly scenario and basically says "fuck it, I'm here, buy me a drink and I'll hang out for a little."
As we enter and declare our "favorites" to the doorman (DIMLIM and gulu gulu) we enter and hear music playing while we buy beers. I see video on the screen but I am a newbie and thought it was a recording. Turns out the opening band (billed as Aster) was actually finishing their set already. (the listed showtime hadn't even hit yet - I thought we were early, but oh well!)
We wandered into the live hall to see them play about half a song before stepping off stage. There were still quite a few people watching them, though, especially for an early opener I had never heard of (and can't find any info on???) I discussed this with someone before going to the live and speculated this might actually be the band GLEN, who was set to release a maxi-single called "Aster" later that month and after hearing GLEN/seeing their visuals, I am now convinced this was in fact the case. They sounded very similar from what I experienced and the visuals strike me as the same or similar to the look in their video. Anyway...
After curtains closed and reopened, we were greeted by some fairly heavy visuals -- a vocalist wearing a cloak covered in creepy white masks and a guitarist with the classic medical eye-patch. From what I knew, this appeared to be MonstlloW; I had watched a few of their videos to prepare myself as I wasn't too familiar. I was immediately taken by how...cool they looked. Very heavy visuals, just really professional from visuals to sound. Their instrumentals were extremely tight and the audience was really engaged, headbanging and dancing and shimmying from one side of the room to the other (probably my favorite thing to experience at a VK live in terms of audience interaction as I had never seen anything like it before.) I'll admit that I didn't find the videos I had watched to be too memorable so I wasn't sure what to expect, but they definitely won me over by the end. Definitely the kind of band that is worth seeing live to really appreciate. (My wife was quite taken with them, commenting on how strong the singer's vocals were and how impressed she was by their overall performance. She has some familiarity with VK from DIR EN GREY and my general interest, but she seemed much more drawn in than I anticipated.)
They played a total of 5 songs and handed out setlist cards from their merch table after they finished.
Monstllow setlist
1. 嘘泣キ少女
2. KERBEROS
3. ビッグマウス・マーチ
4. WE ARE LIAR
5. 劇薬U.S.O
After this we grabbed a few more drinks and took a seat while we waited for the next act. We were very close to the back, right in front of MonstlloW and DIMLIM's merch tables. I was surprised to see that MonslloW's guitarist and bassist had actually come out and were hanging out behind their merch table. They appeared...very tall? Probably a combination of costume, hair, and the fact that they were on a platform above us, but it felt a bit imposing! (Haha.) After their merch sales concluded for the moment, I took a second to inventory enough of my Japanese language knowledge to basically say "I really like your band" and they seemed amused and appreciative. They handed us the setlist cards and actually hung around back there for the majority of the night. (I don't know why this shook me so much, I guess VK has been at such a distance my entire life that I never really expected them to be so casually...there??)
The curtains opened again revealed the next band -- another four person act, guitarist in a white dress (iirc) and bassist with a long, spotted fur coat. It was their vocalist that clued me into who they were, though -- very slim, shirtless under an open jacket, strutting directly to the center of the stage. This was definitely Hueye. (Upon seeing them, my wife immediately exclaimed "oh, they're girls!!" I had to apologetically advise otherwise...) At this point, I had no real familiarity with their songs other than "優しく殺して," as I really hadn't listened to anything else at that point (and I don't think they had much else to listen to?) Nonetheless, I was very impressed once again. The first thing I noticed was their vocalist's harsh vocals compared to what I had heard on recordings -- they seemed much, much stronger live. Like, noticeably so, even to someone who had only heard one song. As their set continued on, I noticed exactly how proficient their guitarist was, too. I mean really, he can shred. My wife was laughing at the fact that my jaw kept dropping just watching his fingers, but she agreed with me either way. Again, I only really realized "優しく殺して," and I believe they closed with that track, but after going back and listening to more of their releases I'm pretty confident they played the other tracks from that single alongside a few others. Not sure what their other songs were, but I think they also played five like MonstlloW. (My wife commented she didn't like them as much as MonstlloW, but partially because she "had to keep looking at that man's body the whole time." 🤣)
At this point, we once again grabbed some more beers and she asked me about the other bands that were playing (since she told the doorman she supported a particular one and realized she had no clue who they were). I explained that DIMLIM was my favorite, gulu gulu was a new band with familiar members. I wasn't sure the order of the performances at this time, but I was cut off at that point as the curtains opened again.
As the electronics of "GROTESQUE" began twinkling, I stood to immediate attention and noticed the crowd filing in very quickly. I excitedly stated that this was DIMLIM and as the band appeared, I took note of their visuals compared to their most recent photos at the time. Sho was not in his "clown" look from "離人" and instead was wearing something much more similar to the suited look from their more current appearance, glasses on his face in a look that reminded me very much of DIR EN GREY's Kyo circa "ain't afraid to die." Retsu wore face makeup similar to that of the photos, but rather than the pleather bodysuit he was wearing a very long trenchcoat. Taishi and Hiroshi appeared to match their photoshoot looks, while Ryuya wore the same outfit but with his hair tied up in a messy bun. Halfway through the first song, my wife turns to me and just says "ok, yeah, these guys are fucking good."
One of the most immediate things I noticed about DIMLIM in this setting compared to the other bands that had played, is that their performance felt quite a bit...rawer than what we had seen so far. From someone who grew up going to punk/metal shows in the states in a scene that heavily frowned upon any type of backing tracks or sounds outside of "just the instruments in front of you," one of the things I found immediately standout was how many bands used obvious backtracks to fill in their sound at this live. It doesn't bother me, I can see the purpose and the value in it as it does add a certain "fullness" to these bands' sounds, but it definitely stood out. This is not to say that DIMLIM did not also use these things, as their sound does incorporate a number of electronics and multiple tracks, but I will say that it felt much less prevalent during their set.
They continued straight out of "GROTESQUE" into "Malformation," which is probably my favorite song on CHEDOARA, so I was very happy. Every member seemed confident and "dialed in," but it was very difficult to divert my attention from Sho. (My wife made a comment about Sho, stating "I believe this blonde boy was on the train with us???" - I didn't notice, but I suppose it's possible? Haha.) His vocals were rougher than they sound on recording, but not in a way that felt bad or like he was incapable, just much more emotive. He stood on a riser for the majority of the set and really gave it his all from beginning to end. I know many have stated that he inhales his screams, which is troubling from a health perspective, but I really feel like he was exhaling a lot of them during their set as some stood out as very loud and impassioned.
If I had one criticism, it would be that Ryuya's guitar felt too quiet for most of their set (something I had also noticed in live videos?) and I think they would have sounded even better if he was a bit louder, but they still played a very strong set. I did notice that the room was quite full for them in comparison to the previous bands, with a noteworthy number of males in the audience specifically for them and girls literally throwing themselves over the barriers while headbanging. (Another thing that I had never seen before -- they were straight up pulling all the way back and like...launching their bodies. That's dedication and western audiences could learn a thing or two!!)
Their set was intense and entrancing and everything I could have wanted -- I feel really lucky to have seen them with their full lineup, though I wish their set was longer! It felt shorter than MonstlloW and Hueye, though maybe because there was no MC, just song after song with no interruption.
DIMLIM setlist (to the best of my memory)
1. GROTESQUE
2. Malformation
3. ...物狂ひ...なりて
4. vanitas
5. 「人」と「形」 (it was this or D.Hymnus, but I believe it was this if I recall correctly)
At this point, we're technically four bands in (and coincidentally four drinks in, so we continued that trend -- the drinks were really light!!) I kind of tried to explain who the remaining bands were, but GRIMOIRE started shortly after DIMLIM was done so I stood back up to watch them.
I like GRIMOIRE a fair bit and have listened to most of their releases. I think their heavy songs are really well composed with cool guitar work and I was excited to see them for this reason. Oddly enough, they emerged with a very toned down visual look -- essentially a suit look for most of the members. RyNK wasn't even wearing his signature blindfold which I was kind of shocked by. The audience seemed to have quite a few very dedicated fans at the front, but I would be lying if I said I wasn't a bit worn out at this point after DIMLIM's set, which was a very different atmosphere. GRIMOIRE played a fun set that had a few of their "heavy bangers" with mostly lighter songs. That was a bit disappointing to me, but I still found them enjoyable overall, just a bit low energy compared to the other acts that evening. Unfortunately I don't remember their setlist!
Things are starting to get blurry to me at this point, but I'm pretty sure MAMIRETA played next. I had told my wife that they were a pretty wild band and that she might like them (though in truth, I was kinda surprised she stuck around this long! She seemed to be pretty into every band that played save for GRIMOIRE who she didn't really watch.) I planned to buy some DIMLIM merch, but then realized I was almost out of cash after drinks so...I just bought more drinks instead.
I will cut straight to the point before getting into detail, but MAMIRETA is hands down one of the best live bands I have ever seen. They tripled the energy of the previous acts (somehow) and played one of the most fun sets I've ever seen. I've argued this point a few times, but I really don't think MAMIRETA would be out of place in a western hardcore festival (except for the whole makeup thing, lol) Their music reminds me a lot of some of the nu-metal tinged western hardcore that has been a thing these past few years (Vein, Knocked Loose, etc.)
Their look was pretty "low-visual" or "boy mode" as my wife started calling it through the evening. Just hoodies, jeans, and big hair. (basically the same as they wore in their "もしもし" PV)
I have heard some less than savory things about Batsu, their vocalist, but all of that aside I'd be glad to call him one of the best frontmen I've seen perform. An absolutely unstoppable force of pure energy from the first notes played -- he stole the show and just went absolutely hog-wild the entire time. By the end he was breakdancing, jumping out into the crowd and running around, then he borrowed someone's purse and hairbow and pranced across the stage before their set ended. (Which looking back may have been part of the reason people have issue with him -- the audience member seemed fine with it, but I could see that going less than okay in other scenarios...)
I've listened to a fair bit of their music, but don't really know their song titles other than "お邪魔します." This song was a ton of fun live, the entire crowd chanting the "お邪魔します" line on command. I started raising my beer for this point in the song and Batsu immediately singled my out and pointed, yelling "hey!!" I'd be lying if it didn't make me feel a bit special...(but I am a fairly tall blonde dude, so I maybe stood out a bit...)
My wife and I were both very taken with their performance and if we were to go back to Japan I'm confident we'd go out of our way to catch them again. I really can't speak highly enough of their live show!!
Before the next band we tried to scope out the merch booths a bit in between bathroom breaks (and more drinks...?) I noticed that DIMLIM's merch attendant was already packing up their goods while all of the other bands were out with their items at this point. (Guitarist and bassist of MonstlloW were still behind their booth, pretty much all of Hueye were behind their booth or watching the other bands near the back exit, and MAMIRETA's guitarist was back there now, too.)
As the curtains opened, the audience was greeted by a giant "ぐるぐる" banner and the members of gulu gulu entered the stage to great fanfare from a packed crowd (maybe the biggest crowd of the night?) Their opening SE came to a close as Ai entered the stage and they blasted into "変なメリーゴーランド," which I immediately recognized from the PV teaser they had launched a few days prior. They wore their exact outfits that had been used to promote the single up to this point and this was one of their first shows as gulu gulu (they were actually billed as 烏名 鳴と不愉快な仲間達 only to be updated a few weeks prior coinciding with their announcement to begin activities as gulu gulu).
They were also extremely high energy, with Ai slinging around a megaphone and shoving the entire microphone in his mouth. Lanju swayed his hair back and forth and drew a lot of my attention as my most immediate favorite from their lineup. ("This bassist fuckin' slaps," according to my wife and I absolutely agree.) Their set felt very much like a "headlining" set in every sense of the word -- whether that was intentional or not (and I don't really think it was). They felt very professional, but still fun and goofy. The audience for them was probably the most intense of the evening -- they all seemed really devoted and it was clear they had been waiting for them most of the night. They followed Ai's commands religiously.
Musically I was glad to hear just how heavy they were, as this was the first time I had heard anything other than the sample of "変なメリーゴーランド." Their overall guitar/bass tone was really thick and despite the "fun" nature of their set, they still had a dark atmosphere that made them really stand out. They played "嗅覚障害" fourth for maybe...twice as long as the actual song? They held out a number of the sections, particularly the "la la la la la" parts what felt like an extra long time, Ai prancing back and forth on the stage as the band played the bouncy riff on repeat.
Overall, their set cemented them as "the band to watch" and it's clear that they've maintained that reputation for very good reason. Of all the bands I saw this night (and in VK right now as a whole) they are probably the band I'm most interested in watching grow.
After their set they were giving out "red paper" (which I believe later turned out to be a link to their first PV) to those who followed them on Twitter, but my wifi box was dead and I didn't even realize what was happening until it was too late. They posted the setlist that evening and now I recognize all of the songs except for the second, which I believe is still unreleased?
The last band on for the evening was The Guzmania. I'll admit that I was pretty exhausted at this point and had pretty much no vested interest in them (plus my dead wifi box was beginning to make me a bit nervous so I started to shuffle around the venue to see if I couldn't find an outlet to charge it for a few minutes...). My wife was pretty insistent on staying, to my surprise, and said she'd feel bad leaving these "nice boys who were trying hard" to play to such a small crowd. I agreed and we watched the rest of their set from the side of the hall. They had very few fans in the audience so it did make me feel a bit bad, but they are a very new band (I believe had just played their first live a few weeks prior). Their sound wasn't terribly memorable in my opinion, kind of jumped back and forth from pop-rock tunes to a few slightly heavier numbers. Their bassist did almost all of the MC and the rest of the band felt a bit shy. They took a bit of a long MC pause after two or three songs and almost made it seem like they were done for the night before they played three or four more, which surprised me as it made their set pretty long in comparison to some of the other bands. (Or maybe it just felt that way because it was the end of a long live?)
After this we hit the road, hailed a cab back to Shinjuku to save some energy, ate some late night KFC, and passed out for the evening.
Sorry for the super long post!! Like I said, it was kind of stream of consciousness and probably included a bunch of unnecessary details, but it was fun to "relive" the event in my head. I'm hoping I can swing more than two lives next time I make my way to Japan!
I gotta disagree with you here. Maybe this is one for the unpopular opinion thread but I think you have every right to tell someone how to raise their children. The argument I often hear against this is "raising children is hard" but the way I see it, if it's hard, you should be taking every piece of advice in your stride and even if you're not following it, you should at least give it a chance. His daughter is eighteen years old, he is no longer legally responsible for her and her virginity is none of his business. I'm not saying he can't be there for her when she needs him, nor am I saying that sex trafficking/STDs/single-motherhood isn't a problem, but just because someone is having sex that doesn't mean they're in danger and it sounds to me like he's demonising sex when he could just be having a civil conversation about it with her. This whole "daddy's little princess" mentality is so backwards and all it does is regress young women instead of encouraging security, freedom and healthy father-daughter relationships. It may seem all very well and good now but how's she gonna fare when she has to be completely independent? Is she gonna have any idea what to do when she's faced with an adult issue or is she just gonna turn to her father to bail her out of every situation?
To clarify, I don't mean to sound hostile nor do I mean to attack you personally. In fact, I agree with your last few paragraphs... but if the generation before us can't take a bit of criticism when it comes to the way they parent, why should we take any criticism from them? This is why children don't listen to their parents, because many parents unfortunately feel like they can do whatever and get away with it because "how dare you question my parenting style". There's no such thing as a parenting style. Either you parent or you don't but how you interact with them on a personal level is dependent on you and I can't separate the way someone raises their kids from the way they are as a person.
Yeah, exactly. I am realistic, I know things that you ignore may come back for you and being alone is sickening and not the best idea. Still, I feel it's better than whatever the other options are.
Am in the same kind of boat there, not necessarily had failed relationships but have had a few "things" that have all gone a bit chaotic in recent years since I came out of my 7 1/2 year relationship. But also a key factor for me is that I have real trust issues which only seems to be getting stronger as time goes on. But yeah the more you invest in people emotionally the more you're setting yourself up to be hurt later so avoiding any such situation does seem better for yourself.
I guess the bottom line seems to be that you're mum still love your brother as her son, which is natural being a mother and all. I watched a documentary once where a guy was locked away for sexually abusing his mother (in a pretty gross manner as well), yet, she forgave him, still loved him and still visited him regularly in "prison". So guess that maternal bond just often comes before anything else. From what you've said I can take a guess at what his crimes are and can totally understand why you and your siblings wouldn't want to have anything to do with him. Regardless of what it is, if someone is abusing other people (or animals even!) in any sense, sexually, using violence, mentally or all three and more then whether you're related or not I don't see why there is an obligation to accept them. I guess it kind of depends how often you see him, is it easy to disassociate? Or because of your mum being blind to his negative actions, you still have to see him a fair bit? If the second one that's very awkward and guess you can just try to keep out the way, even just chilling in your room whenever he's around or anything. But yeah there's no reason anyone in your family should accept him because your mum does and at the same time I don't think there is any way to change your mums opinion of him either. Think about how hard it is to change yourself, you think you can change someone else? It's nearly impossible so not even worth trying, you can express your views of him sure, but expecting your mum to change and think the same way you do, just isn't going to happen I don't think.
I'm going to be blunt and say that my oldest brother, the oldest out of us seven, is not a good human being and an abuser.
Because of this, certain members of my family find it hard to get along with them, though it wasn't the lack of trying. The crimes he did were so heinous and had such a negative impact, with no real acknowledgment from him or apology that it was too hard to keep civil anymore even for my mom's sake.
My mom states that she's the only one who has faith in him when he's never really done anything to redeem himself and gets mad when I dont acknowledgme anything he does.
As of late he wasn't invited to my sisters wedding and he's not invited to my brothers wedding either at his fiance's request to protect her child.
If I get married he won't be invited either, I barely consider him family anymore.
However the way she talks about our trauma with him is odd, that if any regular Joe schmoe did this to us she'd want his head.
She expects the victim to just realize he's "trying his best" despite he keeps playing victim. Like he hasn't caused any psychological damage to his victims at all and his wife says they're being over dramatic about it.
How can I relay to my mom that even though he's her son, and our brother, his actions are just way too severe and we dont owe him any sympathy or forgiveness?
If this topic is too heavy feel free to delete it, I just had to get it off my chest.
I actually don't think its far fetched for a VK (or any) band to ask that there isn't any photography during their shows. And they as well as the venue have whatever right to lay the consequences on you if you get caught. There have been cases where the performers have called out and or kicked out people for using their phones. Idk about you but I'd feel embarrassed and like a dumbass if I was on the receiving end of that. Granted the GazettE couldn't and wouldn't do so and not all the venues had staff confiscate phones, It's just a matter of integrity and basic respect.
Also, no matter what justifications people have had or will have, you can live without taking a picture or video during a set IF you're asked not to. That memory/experience of the show alone should suffice.
And lets be honest, the clips and video ppl are willing to potentially get reprimanded for are probably ass anyways.
Fully agree to this.
Why forgiving them? So they go on like they did before? To make them feel better while they made others feel whatever they feel like now (since there's a wide range I don't put certain ways of feeling like there)?
Fully agree to this.
Why forgiving them? So they go on like they did before? To make them feel better while they made others feel whatever they feel like now (since there's a wide range I don't put certain ways of feeling like there)?
I'd rather not give my take on the subject but I would say I rather people who have that mentality have a means to find help rather than go out in the real world and cause harm
Not sure if it really is an unpopular opinion, but I don't think there's any redemption for pedophiles/child molestors/child abusers. I don't care how many '12 step programs' there are, there's no redeeming that.
(I only bring this up because I literally had to hold myself back from yelling at my own mom)
I suppose I worded it weirdly, I'm mainly thinking about someone I know who's actually caused harm and 'admits to doing it' but hasn't made any attempt to formally apologize to me or the victim who has had it much worse from them. Thinking that we owe him any sort of forgiveness for simply 'getting help' when I know he's not remorseful at all and continues to play the victim card on us.
I think it's okay if they get therapy before they actually do anything to hurt someone/look anything up because that shows that they know they have a serious problem and they would never act on it/cause anyone any harm but if they actually go through with it, that's unforgivable.
I don't think having kids is a bad thing, I just wanna clear that up. Nor do I think being selfish is inherently bad, actually (in some cases it's actually beneficial). I just think it'd be better if adoption was more popular and I also see a lot of people having kids just because they want to without thinking about the fact that they're bringing another human life into this world that only exists because their parents thought they were worth it. I fully respect people who have children because they want to see a healthy human life grow up and flourish as opposed to "I want someone with my surname", "I want my parents to be grandparents cuz they want to be", "I want..." but that doesn't change my view that adoption is the more compassionate option.
That changes a lot depending on how close I'm listening and what I'm doing while listening.
I listen to music while doing house chores and I sometimes don't listen very closely especially when there are other thoughts coming to my mind and are more present.
I listen to music while working on novels and stuff and I sometimes don't even recognize what I'm listening to though later some of that music triggers thoughts of what I was working on so there's a connection being created and I sometimes connect certain scenes to certain parts of songs.
I barely watch anything so for bands I love a lot I might watch a PV when it comes out, sometimes I watch it a bit more often but that's rare. Depending on the bands and whether I've seen them live or not there also might be scenes of that on my mind either scenes I've seen or rather thoughts/feelings I've had during/around the time of the lives.
Also depending on what's present in my life while I listen to songs a lot I sometimes start connection songs to these situations. That also happens when I understand (parts of) the lyrics or read translations and connect to them out of my own experience (be it the whole lyrics or - what happens more often - parts of them).
I also sometimes concentrate on music and certain aspects even though I'm not really good at details so I focus more on accentuation in combination with the lyrics (for example Gazette's "Falling" like in the middle of the song where Ruki sings "I'm gonna fall" and with the word "fall" they made the song in an accentuated way, like everything's crashing without stopping afterwards but I recognized that pretty fast because this one is very obvious). I also do this to either find new things even after years of listening to songs or to focus on details I just love like certain guitar melodies or ways of singing or drums parts, bass parts whatever.
I've come to the depressing realization that I'm approaching my thirties and that's hindering further my ability to form close friendships, since everyone around me is more and more invested in their significant others/offspring and is making it really difficult to form close friendship bonds when their priorities clearly lie somewhere else. The whole inherently sexual dynamic around interactions makes it really difficult to form the kind of bonds I need, be it because I can't provide it or because people are getting it elsewhere and thus forming closer bonds elsewhere.
I think I might have depression and it's embarrassing to even get to the point where, despite being and extremely independent person, loneliness has me sinking further and further (and thus further devoting time and resources to mild coping mechanisms such as VK).
I'm pissed movies and books lied to me about close friendships and I feel I face deep suffering one way or another, either by depriving myself of the emotional connection I need, either suffering from "giving in" to someone else's needs in order to have said emotional connection.
Thanks everyone. I deleted her on FB and said something about lousy friends on IG, apparently the shoe did fit because she was outraged that I was "treating her like shit". So, bye.
Sucks that her sister who barely knows me did notice I was having an awful time and asked when I was free so we'd meet for coffee and chat.
@KomorebiBasically I think talking things through is always worth it with people that are dear to oneself. But then you actually even tried with telling her how you feel while even going through a real tough time (which makes it even harder going through this crap).
I've been at a similar point this year, several times actually even though all were long-term stuff (like me being hurt for months or years). I decided on parting. I leave behind what's not doing me good. I've been fighting so much and it never paid off. Who doesn't show me I'm important to them doesn't belong in my life anymore. But I had to learn this the hard way and over many many years. I wish to you it'll be an easier way for you, it won't ever be easy though.
As hard as it is, considering the history you two probably have together, the best thing for the both of you might just to end the relationship. Maybe not for good, but for now it seems that she isn't putting the same effort into the relationship you are. I've had situations like this, and decided that I needed to take care of myself first and not waste my energy on people who could care less about me.
@KomorebiBasically I think talking things through is always worth it with people that are dear to oneself. But then you actually even tried with telling her how you feel while even going through a real tough time (which makes it even harder going through this crap).
I've been at a similar point this year, several times actually even though all were long-term stuff (like me being hurt for months or years). I decided on parting. I leave behind what's not doing me good. I've been fighting so much and it never paid off. Who doesn't show me I'm important to them doesn't belong in my life anymore. But I had to learn this the hard way and over many many years. I wish to you it'll be an easier way for you, it won't ever be easy though.
I have this friend I consider close and we haven't really seen each other or communicated much in over a month. I'm kinda pissed because her IG stories show she's not really busy, just clinging to her boyfriend. Which would be ok if she hand't blown me off a few times recently and only after I almost threw a fit she kinda apologized for not realizing I was having a really terrible time and needed support. But then when I confirmed I was feeling like shit she just said "well, the only one with the power to help you is yourself' and stopped responding.
Like a week later I told her I was sick of always having to beg for a text reply and then see her text her bf nonstop when we were together and how bad and hurt her careless attitude made me feel. She left it on seen, and now, a week later, I find out she's attending a party organized by the same guy I had a physical fight with at a club. I find that really disloyal and I told her so, but she just ignored me again.
IDk if I should talk things with her or just tell her to fuck off and delete her from my social media. That feels very childish and immature but she's also showing to be very unreliable and overall a bad friend.
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