Shmilly

For music I physically own: Japanese Oldest - GACKT / Mizérable～Single Box～ (1999.06.30) Newest - the GazettE / STANDING LIVE TOUR 14 HERESY LIMITED -再 定 義- COMPLETE BOX (2015.03.11) In general I'm not sure any more, I rarely listen to non-Japanese music these days.

Update! I'm not made of money but I will negotiate for rarez!

More like Far East Deception.

I hope this one's true because everyone knows we need more mustache kei.

Hoot hoot! Not a morning fan at all. When I get the chance and I have no plans, I usually sleep in as late as possible. Even on the few days when I'm not busy till midday I rarely get up much more than an hour before I need to leave. In contrast, even if I need to get up really early the next day I probably won't go to bed until 1am or later.

At some point in secondary school (or middle school for all you non-English peeps) around age 12 myself and a close friend at the time gave each other the random-ass nicknames 'Shmilly and Gravydibbles'. I think I came off lightly. I have attempted to use the name 'muku' on other online spaces (because the Japanese starling is 'mukudori' and that's my family name) but most people online know me by Shmilly already so I cba to do anything about it. As an off topic, I can't stop staring at beni's strawberry gif every time it slides up my screen. I was astonished when I found out that my girlfriend used to be mates with Kyari before she became famous, they even have purikura pics together from like 5 years ago!

Perhaps some time ago the term 'friendzone' or something similar did accurately define someone's romantic status. But now, I've come to hate the word for what the internet has turned it into. A 'friendzone' of the kind people talk about these days does not exist. It's as simple as that. The very notion of being put into a zone for friends is the exact same phenomenon as this: becoming friends with someone. You either become friends with someone, or you enter a relationship with someone. There's not really any middle ground. Casual sex is not friendzone, because it's the very thing people claiming to be there are probably after. The whole problem comes from putting sex on a pedestal. Certainly for those who have yet to experience it, it's a huge thing to consider. Stories about how great it is, stories about how terrible the first time will be, debating the value of virginity or faithfulness, love versus desires. Sex is not a big thing at all - it's just another one of those nice things in life that we all get around to at some point. Some people do it a lot more than others, some with multiple partners, and some in committed relationships. If being 'friendzoned' is stopping you from having sex then you're missing the point of both sex and relationships. You can have sex with whoever you like, whenever you like, provided both parties consent to it. Don't make the mistake of thinking relationships are all about sex, and you'll realise that there's no such thing as a 'friendzone'. If you have romantic feelings for a friend but don't mention or act upon it, you only have yourself to blame.

It really sucks and I wouldn't recommend it to anyone. But, you like who you like, and in my case we both decided it was worth giving a try. I'm in the UK, and she's in Japan, and the last time we saw each other was January. We're probably not physically meeting again until the end of August. But, if we can stick it out till then, I'm moving to Japan anyway so we're moving in together. Like previous people have said, a lot of it depends on the timing - we're both graduating this year and starting full time work, so it looks like after the distance part is over it should be great.

ベルカとストレルカ I had hidden the knife into the desk. It was for protecting oneself. There was no intention of wounding someone. I want you to believe. Please don’t see me by your sad eye. 煙にまみれた数え歌 答えを探してた 僕は何処へ 綱がゆらゆら拍手する人 これが答えか？と太陽が僕を踏み付けがなりたてる 爪弾き 罵声 陶酔の舞台 顔を隠さず奏でる 傾く天井 数え歌 ベルカとストレルカ 僕は此処へ ah鏡に映った踊るピエロが あなたの涙を顔に刻むように歌う 僕に乗せられたリンゴが落ちる 濃くなる霧と月を眺め 呼吸を確かめていた もう君は泣かないで 悲しみが募る雨に 僕は傘になろう ah鏡を見つめて踊るピエロは あなたの涙をガラスに摘むように願う いつしか 空が晴れたなら あなたと 二人で BERUKA to SUTORERUKA I had hidden the knife into the desk. It was for protecting oneself. There was no intention of wounding someone. I want you to believe. Please don’t see me by your sad eye. kemuri ni mamireta kazoeuta kotae wo sagashiteta boku wa doko e tsuna ga yurayura hakushu suru hito kore ga kotae ka? to taiyou ga boku wo fumitsuke ga naritateru tsumahajiki basei tousui no butai kao wo kakusazu kanaderu katamuku tenjou kazoeuta BERUKA to SUTORERUKA boku wa koko e ah kagami ni utsutta odoru PIERO ga anata no namida wo kao ni kizamu you ni utau boku ni noserareta ringo ga ochiru kokunaru kiri to tsuki wo nagame kokyuu wo tashikameteita mou kimi wa nakanaide kanashimi ga tsunoru ame ni boku wa kasa ni narou ah kagami wo mitsumete odoru PIERO wa anata no namida wo GARASU ni tsumu you ni negau itsushika sora ga hareta nara anata to futari de Velka and Strelka I had hidden the knife into the desk. It was for protecting oneself. There was no intention of wounding someone. I want you to believe. Please don’t see me by your sad eye. Among counting rhymes covered in smoke I was looking for an answer Where should I go? The rope sways and people applaud Is this the answer? I shout at the sun that bears down upon me Black sheep, they jeer, a stage of intoxication where they perform without concealing their identity A slanting ceiling and counting rhymes Velka and Strelka I came here The dancing clown reflected in the mirror Sings to engrave your tears upon his face The apple hung upon me falls I gazed at the moon with the thickening fog To make sure you were breathing Don’t cry any more, let your sadness become the heavy rain I’ll be your umbrella When I stare into the mirror The dancing clown wishes he could take your tears away into the glass When the sky clears without my noticing I’ll be together again with you

モルヒネ♯2 いつしか鳴らぬ電話 メールの返事も一日2通 いつも多忙なあなた 理解のある女を演じてみせるわ ふたつ並ぶ歯ブラシ ホコリかぶっても置いておくわね 寝る前の習慣は 貴方の名前検索 誰よこいつ知らない女 「愛してる」だなんて 私の方が愛しているわ 「あなたは私の物よ」 愛は依存になって はがれ落ちてく脆い厚化粧 「あなたは私の物よ」 自作自演の悲劇舞台 愛は依存になって 落ちてく私ホラ綺麗でしょう？ 「あなたは私の物よ」 自作自演の悲劇舞台 「あなたは私の物よ」 「あなたは私の物よ」 そうよこいつ見た事あるわ いつも後ろの方で あなたの事を狙ってるのね 「あなたは私の物よ」 愛は依存になって はがれ落ちてく脆い厚化粧 「あなたは私の物よ」 自作自演の悲劇舞台 愛は依存になって 落ちてく私ホラ綺麗でしょう？ 「あなたは私の物よ」 自作自演の悲劇舞台 「あなたは私の物よ」 「あなたは私の物よ」 「あなたは私の物よ」 「あなたは私の物よ」 MORUHINE♯2 itsushika naranu denwa ME-RU no henji mo ichinichi nitsuu itsumo tabouna anata rikai no aru on’na wo enjitemiseru wa futatsu narabu haburashi hokori kabuttemo oiteoku wa ne neru mae no shuukan wa anata no namae kensaku dare yo koitsu shiranai on’na ‘aishiteru’ da nante watashi no hou ga aishiteiru wa ‘anata wa watashi no mono yo’ ai wa izon ni natte hagareochiteku moroi atsugeshou ‘anata wa watashi no mono yo’ jisaku jien no higeki butai ai wa izon ni natte ochiteku watashi hora kirei deshou? ‘anata wa watashi no mono yo’ jisaku jien no higeki butai ‘anata wa watashi no mono yo’ ‘anata wa watashi no mono yo’ sou yo koitsu mita koto aru wa itsumo ushiro no hou de anata no koto wo neratteru no ne ‘anata wa watashi no mono yo’ ai wa izon ni natte hagareochiteku moroi atsugeshou ‘anata wa watashi no mono yo’ jisaku jien no higeki butai ai wa izon ni natte ochiteku watashi hora kirei deshou? ‘anata wa watashi no mono yo’ jisaku jien no higeki butai ‘anata wa watashi no mono yo’ ‘anata wa watashi no mono yo’ ‘anata wa watashi no mono yo’ ‘anata wa watashi no mono yo’ MORPHINE#2 Unaware of the ringing phone You only reply twice a day to my messages You’re always busy I’ll show you what an understanding woman is like Two toothbrushes side by side Even as it gathers dust I’ll keep putting it there for you Before going to bed My habit is looking up your name Who are you, mysterious woman? The word ‘love’ I love you more than that ‘You are mine’ Love that became dependence Brittle make-up peeling ‘You are mine’ The tragic stage of my charade Love that became dependence Look, I’m beautiful right? ‘You are mine’ The tragic stage of my charade ‘You are mine’ ‘You are mine’ Yes, I’ve seen you before Always from behind I’m aiming for you ‘You are mine’ Love that became dependence Brittle make-up peeling ‘You are mine’ The tragic stage of my charade Love that became dependence Look, I’m beautiful right? ‘You are mine’ The tragic stage of my charade ‘You are mine’ ‘You are mine’ ‘You are mine’ ‘You are mine’

SEX! Rescue me. 肥えたハイエナが言うのさ 賢い犬は吠えずに笑い 賢い猫は芸を覚えて 賢い人は欲に素直だと 「舐めるように」 「求め合って」 「腰を振って」 All thing is lie.From the first. as if reading picture book. What do you want？「SEX!」 What do you aim？「SEX!」 You say「Hey Hey Rescue me!」 True is this all. Ah…as if reading picture book. What do you want？「SEX!」 What do you aim？「SEX!」 You say「Hey Hey Rescue me!」 肥えたハイエナが言うのさ 賢い犬は牙を隠して 賢い猫は爪を丸め込み 賢い人は背中で笑う 「舐めるように」 「求め合って」 「腰を振って」 All thing is lie.From the first. as if reading picture book. What do you want？「SEX!」 What do you aim？「SEX!」 You say「Hey Hey Rescue me!」 True is this all. Ah…as if reading picture book. What do you want？「SEX!」 What do you aim？「SEX!」 You say「Hey Hey Rescue me!」 SEX! Rescue me. koeta HAIENA ga iu no sa kashikoi inu wa hoezu ni warai kashikoi neko wa gei wo oboete kashikoi hito wa yoku ni sunao da to ‘nameru you ni’ ‘motomeatte’ ‘koshi wo futte’ All thing is lie. From the first. As if reading picture book. What do you want? ‘SEX!’ What do you aim? ‘SEX!’ You say ‘Hey Hey Rescue me!’ True is this all. Ah… as if reading picture book. What do you want? ‘SEX!’ What do you aim? ‘SEX!’ You say ‘Hey Hey Rescue me!’ koeta HAIENA ga iu no sa kashikoi inu wa kiba wo kakushite kashikoi neko wa tsume wo marumekomi kashikoi hito wa senaka de warau ‘nameru you ni’ ‘motomeatte’ ‘koshi wo futte’ All thing is lie. From the first. As if reading picture book. What do you want? ‘SEX!’ What do you aim? ‘SEX!’ You say ‘Hey Hey Rescue me!’ True is this all. Ah… as if reading picture book. What do you want? ‘SEX!’ What do you aim? ‘SEX!’ You say ‘Hey Hey Rescue me!’ SEX! Rescue me. The discerning hyena says The clever dog laughs without barking The clever cat remembers the tricks They say that a wise man is honest about his desires ‘With a lick’ ‘We want each other’ ‘Shake your hips’ All thing is lie. From the first. As if reading picture book. What do you want? ‘SEX!’ What do you aim? ‘SEX!’ You say ‘Hey Hey Rescue me!’ True is this all. Ah… as if reading picture book. What do you want? ‘SEX!’ What do you aim? ‘SEX!’ You say ‘Hey Hey Rescue me!’ The discerning hyena says The clever dog conceals his fangs The clever cat retracts her claws The smart laugh behind their backs ‘With a lick’ ‘We want each other’ ‘Shake your hips’ All thing is lie. From the first. As if reading picture book. What do you want? ‘SEX!’ What do you aim? ‘SEX!’ You say ‘Hey Hey Rescue me!’ True is this all. Ah… as if reading picture book. What do you want? ‘SEX!’ What do you aim? ‘SEX!’ You say ‘Hey Hey Rescue me!’

モルヒネ♯1 真夜中に鳴る電話 ah ah ah ah わざと少し待つ 待っていた態度隠し ah ah ah ah 眠いフリをしてみる どこまでもズルい人ね ah ah ah ah わかっているんでしょう 私はいつも待ちこがれ ah ah ah ah 眠る 「今何処にいるの？何をしてるの？」 「一人でいたわ」 「ねぇ会いたいよ今すぐに」 「シャワーを浴び着替えたら、すぐ行くわ」 わかっているのに離れられないのは あなたを愛してるから 身体に残る体温とアザ 私ひとり ズルい笑顔 But believes want to kill. I want to personal belongings. Why？It does not become my thing why？ It is sad that you are loved. 「いつもごめんね寂しくさせて」 「仕方ないわよ」 「ねぇ会いたいよいつだって」 「私はいつもここよ、ちゃんと見て」 わかっているのに離れられないのは それでも愛してるから 身体に残る体温とアザ 私… かさね合う身体 モルヒネの香り 今だけ私を見て 部屋を出てゆく貴方の背中 私ひとり ズルい笑顔 MORUHINE♯1 mayonaka ni naru denwa ah ah ah ah wazato sukoshi matsu matteita taido kakushi ah ah ah ah nemui furi wo shitemiru dokomademo zurui hito ne ah ah ah ah wakatteiru ndeshou watashi wa itsumo machikogare ah ah ah ah nemuru ‘ima doko ni iru no? nani wo shiteru no?’ ‘hitori de ita wa’ ‘ne aitai yo ima sugu ni’ ‘SHAWA- wo abi kigaetara, sugu iku wa’ wakatteiru no ni hanarerarenai no wa anata wo aishiteru kara karada ni nokoru taion to aza watashi hitori zurui egao But believes want to kill. I want to personal belongings. Why? It does not become My thing why? It is sad that you are loved. ‘itsumo gomen ne sabishikusasete’ ‘shikata nai wa yo’ ‘ne aitai yo ima sugu ni’ ‘watashi wa itsumo koko yo, chanto mite’ wakatteiru no ni hanarerarenai no wa soredemo aishiteru kara taion ni nokoru taion to aza watashi… kasaneau karada MORUHINE no kaori ima dake watashi wo mite heya wo deteyuku anata no senaka watashi hitori zurui egao MORPHINE#1 My phone rings in the middle of the night I wait a little on purpose I hide my intention to wait And pretend I’m tired You’re utterly sneaky You understand right? How I always long for you I close my eyes ‘Where are you now? What are you doing?’ ‘I’m on my own’ ‘I want to see you right now’ ‘I’ll be right there after I’ve showered and changed my clothes’ I understand but what I can’t get rid of is The fact that I love you The bruises and warmth you leave in my body I’m alone You give a sly smile But believes want to kill. I want to personal belongings. Why? It does not become My thing why? It is sad that you are loved. (NB. My imagination is killing me. I want to make you mine. Why will you not be mine? It’s pathetic that I love you.) ‘I’m sorry, I’m just so lonely’ ‘It can’t be helped’ ‘I want to see you all the time’ ‘I’m always here, just look’ I understand but what I can’t get rid of is Despite it all I still love you The bruises and warmth you leave in my body Our entwining bodies, the smell of morphine Look at me just this time As you leave the room You leave me alone And give a sly smile

MONEY 抜け殻スーツ 山の手 道に倒れた老人 見ないフリ カビだらけイデオロギー ここは大都会東京 諭吉一枚 JK 午前二時過ぎ渋谷ハチ公前 青くなった鶏肉 上出来な皮肉だね「ハッピーセット」 it's simple MONEY GAME. 右肩上がり税金 温泉旅行政治家泣き落とし バイト全員ボイコット ここはお,も,て,な,し日本「Nice funny joke!」 it's simple MONEY GAME. Are your one？「For the MONEY!」 Are your one？「For the MONEY!」 Are your one？「For the MONEY!」 Two,for the SEX？Three,for the LOVE？ Are your one？「For the MONEY!」 Are your one？「For the MONEY!」 Are your one？「For the MONEY!」 Two,for the SEX？Three,for the LOVE？ Please let honest opinion. Fuck You ----- 金で買えない物ってなんだったんだろう 僕たちはただ 欲望のまま 子供のころ抱きしめた 宝物も 今じゃガラクタに見えて Are your one？「For the MONEY!」 Are your one？「For the MONEY!」 Are your one？「For the MONEY!」 Two,for the SEX？Three,for the LOVE？ Are your one？「For the MONEY!」 Are your one？「For the MONEY!」 Are your one？「For the MONEY!」 Two,for the SEX？Three,for the LOVE？ Please let honest opinion. MONEY nukegara SU-TSU Yamanote michi taoreta roujin minai furi kabi darake IDEOROGI- koko wa daitokai Tokyo yukichi ichi mai JK gozen niji sugi Shibuya Hachiko mae aokunatta toriniku joudekina hiniku da ne ‘HAPPI-SETTO’ it’s simple MONEY GAME. migi kata agari zeikin onsen ryokou seijika nakiotoshi BAITO zen’in BOIKOTTO koko wa omotenashi nihon ‘Nice funny joke!’ it's simple MONEY GAME. Are your one? ‘For the MONEY!’ Are your one? ‘For the MONEY!’ Are your one? ‘For the MONEY!’ Two, for the SEX? Three, for the LOVE? Are your one? ‘For the MONEY!’ Are your one? ‘For the MONEY!’ Are your one? ‘For the MONEY!’ Two, for the SEX? Three, for the LOVE? Please let honest opinion. Fuck You ----- kane de kaenai mono tte nandattandarou bokutachi wa tada yokubou no naka kodomo no koro dakishimeta takaramono mo ima ja garakuta ni miete Are your one? ‘For the MONEY!’ Are your one? ‘For the MONEY!’ Are your one? ‘For the MONEY!’ Two, for the SEX? Three, for the LOVE? Are your one? ‘For the MONEY!’ Are your one? ‘For the MONEY!’ Are your one? ‘For the MONEY!’ Two, for the SEX? Three, for the LOVE? Please let honest opinion. MONEY Empty suits on the Yamanote line An old man falls in the street and we pretend we didn’t see An ideology full of mold Welcome to the big city, Tokyo High school girl with a 10,000 yen note At Hachiko in Shibuya just after 2am Pale meat A wonderful irony ‘Happy Set’ It’s simple MONEY GAME Rising tax A politician breaks down on his onsen trip All part-time workers boycott This is the hospitality of Japan ‘Nice funny joke!’ It’s simple MONEY GAME Are your one? ‘For the MONEY!’ Are your one? ‘For the MONEY!’ Are your one? ‘For the MONEY!’ Are your one? ‘For the MONEY!’ Two, for the SEX? Three, for the LOVE? Are your one? ‘For the MONEY!’ Are your one? ‘For the MONEY!’ Are your one? ‘For the MONEY!’ Two, for the SEX? Three, for the LOVE? Please let honest opinion. Fuck You ----- What was it that can’t be bought with money? We’re all just caught in desire That treasured toy you held as a child Looks like trash now Are your one? ‘For the MONEY!’ Are your one? ‘For the MONEY!’ Are your one? ‘For the MONEY!’ Two, for the SEX? Three, for the LOVE? Are your one? ‘For the MONEY!’ Are your one? ‘For the MONEY!’ Are your one? ‘For the MONEY!’ Two, for the SEX? Three, for the LOVE? Please let honest opinion.

「溺れる魚」 透き通った水槽の世界 零した墨はもう掬えない 魚達は口を広げて それに浸かっているんだ 金で買える事実 並べられた模型 馴れ合いの踏み台 痛くないくせに The definition of the freedom to force People who cannot notice manipulated Stop talks. No, I am 溺れる魚 水槽の中 鳥かごの鳥 窮屈な空 いつしか僕ら 気づかないまま 愛も憎しみも 消えて 消えて 暗い ただ ただ ただ テレビに映る 綺麗なものが 僕たちの目を 悪くするんだ わずかに残る温もりにさえ 値をつけるのだろう？ 消えて 消えて 暗い ただ ただ ただ The definition of the freedom to force People who cannot notice manipulated Stop talks. No, I am 溺れる魚 水槽の中 ライトの上に 積もった埃 スーツのそれは 偉そうにして 英雄を名乗り ここが ここが すべて？ 飛行機が落ちて たくさん死んで テレビの数字 明日には忘れ 幼なじみの よく遊んだ子 自殺したってさ 可哀想 そうね 名前も思い出せない さあ 夜には 眠ろう 明かり消して 本当の 人は 欲望は 世界は 夜、蠢く「おやすみ」 Oboreru Sakana sukitootta suisou no sekai koboshita sumi wa mou sukuenai sakanatachi wa kuchi wo hirogete sore ni tsukatteiru nda kane de kaeru jijitsu naraberareta mokei nareai no fumidai itakunai kuse ni The definition of the freedom to force People who cannot notice manipulated Stop talks. No, I am oboreru sakana suisou no naka torikago no tori kyuukutsu na sora itsushika bokura kidzukanai mama ai mo nikushimi mo kiete kiete kurai tada tada tada TEREBI ni utsuru kirei na mono ga bokutachi no me wo warukusuru nda wazuka ni nokoru nukumori ni sae ne wo tsukeru no darou? kiete kiete kurai tada tada tada The definition of the freedom to force People who cannot notice manipulated Stop talks. No, I am oboreru sakana suisou no naka RAITO no ue ni tsumotta hokori SU-TSU no sore wa erasou ni shite eiyuu wo nanori koko ga koko ga subete? hikouki ga ochite takusan shinde TEREBI no suuji asu ni wa wasure osananajimi no yoku asonda ko jisatsu shita tte sa kawaisou sou ne namae mo omoidasenai sa yoru ni wa nemurou akari keshite hontou no hito wa, yokubou wa, sekai wa yoru ugomeku “oyasumi” Drowning Fish In the transparent world of a fish tank The spilled ink can no longer be extracted The fish open their mouths And are immersed in the ink The truth that money can buy Dolls lined up in a row A stand* of conspiracy Despite the lack of pain The definition of the freedom to force People who cannot notice manipulated Stop talks. No, I am The fish drowning in their tank The caged bird in a confined sky Unaware, we don’t even notice Neither love nor hate Fading… It’s the dark reality The beautiful things on television Worsen our vision Do we assign a price To even the little warmth that remains? Fading… It’s the dark reality The definition of the freedom to force People who cannot notice manipulated Stop talks. No, I am The fish drowning in their tank The dust gathering on the light The suit looking proud about it Calling himself a hero Is this… All there is? A plane crashes and many die The figures on television forgotten by tomorrow A childhood friend I often played with Committed suicide It’s so pitiful I can’t even remember their name So try to sleep at night Turn off the lights The real world, people, desire Squirm in the night “Goodnight” *fumidai refers to a kind of step ladder, imagine that dolls are arranged on each step.

Exciting stuff. I really liked BEAUTIFUL DEFORMITY.

Interested in 「xxx」is D£AD - メッセージ グリーヴァ - Wish making of DVD Nihilizm - Lily [Limited Edition] and maybe Nihilizm - Lily [Regular Edition] Do you have pictures and prices you're hoping for? I'm not good with offers xD

1. DADAROMA 2. DADAROMA 3. DADAROMA Is what I want to say, but my copy doesn't arrive until next week...