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Keiyuh

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Posts posted by Keiyuh

  2. Posted

    23 hours ago, KrumpingChihuahua said:

    I like to listen to music, try to draw or cry a lot, altough i hate crying infront of anyone so i usually try to be alone. 

    The only person i really open all my heart to is my mom, but sometimes i am afraig to push too much on to her shoulders, so i keep things for myself. 

    Also about talking to people, i am a person who is always afraid of annoying someone, or ending up being missunderstood.

     

     

      I am so sorry for you. I went trough 1 or 2 years of bullying, by girls that had been my best friends before. It was awful. 

     

    i feel you. being angry and sad often goes hand in hand for me. 

     

     

    I'll let you in on a secret 

    I make a total of 13 sentences a day and because I don't talk

    my parents institusialed me the psychiatrists performed hypnosis and psychosis to figure out what was wrong with me 

    They went as far to tail me whenever I left home and they found out I've been using some drugs they thought I was very depressed because I never had a real friend when I gave away the doctors my parents still forced me to therapy sessions 

    Truth be told I've never used their money 

    I never used drugs 

    I don't know why I let them figure out but  I felt nothing 

    I didn't even bother telling the truth even if it confirmed my innocence 

    I can't hold on anymore I kept it so long I fear one day I will let it all go 

    Its just too much to take in the emptiness I can't find I can't think

    that was 9 years ago now I'm 25 every day I build it up and break it down and so on again I hardly ever think about my family they hardly ever mattered nothing matters anymore

     

     

  4. Posted

    On 6/9/2020 at 8:50 PM, Total Saikou said:

    When I was a kid I was bullied a lot. During 5th and 6th grade I would eat to drown the pain and that caused me to become a fatty fat-ass. Seriously, as an adult I'm only ~10-20 pounds heavier than I was when I was 11. I've shed a good portion of it off, and I'm losing weight right now (down 10 pounds!) but the leftover weight is almost like a scar from those times. I learned from my mistakes when I was taken out of that environment, so I haven't abused food like that since then.

     

    Listening to music has been my main way of dealing with any emotional pain I'm going through ever since. A lot of VK songs really helped me through my mid teen years when I felt the crushing emptiness threatening to swallow me whole again. Some songs had lyrics that helped me feel better, one that I treasure deeply is deadman's "Follow the night light" which I loved enough to try translating it. I was pleased to learn that it has a message of holding out despite whatever madness you're going through. It felt like a message to me, at that time. I made sure to try to lose myself into my activities as to not bring in my negative emotions into things and hinder me. Also friends. Whether in the physical realm or online, having people I could trust and connect with made me feel so much better.

    Wish that I was back in high school 

    Where everything's easy

    No cares just childhood teasing 

    But now everything gets depressing 

    Relax everything's stressing

     

     

    KrumpingChihuahua reacted to this

  6. Posted

    When I was little I never really talked 

    So a lot of people thought I was retarded I always had a grey Teddy bear which I never let go and I still don't talk much at the ripe age of 25 

    It went so far as to a full forced session of psychosis, hypnosis, and sedation which lasted a good 1 and a half hour

     

  7. Posted

    Anime doesent suck 

    It swallows I've only watched 3 series 

    Yugioh, death note (screw season 2), monster (only for Johan and they showed him like for 15 episodes) 

    But nowadays it's either retarded fantasy, or knockoffs for example a colourfull skank, a op long haired repetitive main character, overdone settings, the list won't end the only thing I've ever liked about anime is like back in 2006 back when the Internet was a whole and not divided into tribes of elitist fucks scrubbing public attractions (woman rights, Lgbt rights, this goes on forever) so don't blame anime it's been a while since anyone's actually used creation or imagination because most retarded fucks only ever like imagining them being in the position of the mc feeling the desolate emotions of degeneration 

    YuyoDrift and platy reacted to this

  8. Posted

    On 8/4/2020 at 11:16 PM, violetchain said:

    So I just found out that Yusei's group in Yu-Gi-Oh 5Ds was legitimately called "Team Satisfaction". I assumed that was just a joke in the abridged series one-shot.

     

    And now I kind of want to watch 5Ds.

    Is it weird the only anime I watched was yugioh dm, gx, 5ds 

  9. Posted

    On 8/3/2020 at 2:07 AM, Chell said:

    Does anyone use Playmoss or anything of the sort to organize playlists? I *wonder* if there's any way I can manage my phone/Google Play, my  YouTube and my Deezer playlists at once

    No asking reddit will only answer you that they organise with muscle memory 

    There was a site where you can copy your playlist to other media 

    But its a obv scam 

    Rahzel reacted to this

  14. Posted

    11 hours ago, Chell said:

    What I told the psychiatrist: so I overwork a lot because Im poor and I hate that, and migraines were killin me before quarantine, tired of being diagnosed with a lot of random stuff though Im positive Im undiagnosed ASD and last time someone I loved passed away I had an epiletic seizure and peed my pants on the street so can I get help this time unlike every other what 10 times 

    What she MUST HAVE heard: I engage in dangerous activity outside and must be prescribed topiramate after all nothing better than prescribing a reasonably wishing-2-b-dead person a long-term drug that a) is knowingly uneffective (to ASD patients) and b) has a high risking of ruining their single kidney so they have to rely on hemodialysis for life after talking for ten minutes to them 

     

    The bitch actually said "so what do you want?" JFC maybe I want you to do your job how about that? I swear I am better off calming myself thinking of how I would shoot certain people if I snapped out instead of going to a doctor again. /vents 

    Chell I understand reminds me of the time I was in my heart cardiology xray checkups and there's an deformity where the ambilico cord to the baby's heart is not closed and it leaves a distinction in the chest a krater which I have well my family was worried since it was critical for my well being it was luch break for the doctors and they just postponed the evaluation to another 6 months my family was worried they didint know what to do untill a doctor came in he was yelling for the doctors acting like this and he did everything himself he took a tomography xray and samples to be safe and when the xray came in it wasent a problem it closed off my father till that day is still praying for the health and gratitude for that doctor he would say he himself was very happy whenever a doctor or nurse actually gave a crap and asked him hows it going I didint have any career interest so I just wanted to be a doctor not for the relaxed work times or the ridiculous salary I barely ever use it i just thought it would be hopeful that people like them actually cares for them 

     

    Chell for you

    nobody is perfect I spent my life lonely in search of things that was and will never be mine sometimes I think I'm very greedy although my main involvement in humanity is philanthropic

    The only feeling of loneliness I ever feel Is not in daily life or in the city but at my home at night thinking what if I had that friend  I didint have much to look forward so I always looked back the only people I ever care are less then my fingers but I chose a path I could've been what my heart desired  but I chose the truth even as it was tearing me apart as much it bought everyone else in my spot happiness fulfillment peace it bought me chains 

    So I ask you what's the true reason you joined this site? 

    Rahzel reacted to this

  16. Posted

    5 hours ago, Total Saikou said:

    Guys, I've done it. I've achieved the weeb dream. I've been asked if I'm Japanese like 2 times this month. I have no clue how I achieved it when I look 0% East Asian but I did it

    Korea and Japan are like 3rd most countries with teenage or general suicide the first is what was it guatelma? Whatever the least is in middle east 

    I actually saw a turkish guy marry a jap 

    I thought "wow so this is how it felt to be unloved at home until a gaijin falls for you and puts you first above else" 

    Its funny how people find happiness in a crowded city just imagine being alone in a crowd living alone is OK but in a crowd is unbearable especially if no one shares any commenry with you 

    And that's where media, cartoons and make belief comes in everyone in their own imaginarium their own castle where they are the mc in all of their story preety relieving it's better to think rather cuming and seeing 

    Reminds me of a proverb "the drums sounds is beautiful when in hindsight" foreign Ofc buts its good so I wanna say zombies8mylunch thx ariki

  19. Posted

    16 hours ago, platy said:

    GUYS I GOTTA KNOW

    How was your day? 

     

    Everyones asking the wrong questions what wee need to say is we owe our life to zombies8mylunch for this god awefull and inspiring thread 

    Just smell the empty melancholy 

    I love it here please don't stop talking

    fruitfork reacted to this

  20. Posted

    Goddamn  everything I cherished is either gone, forgotten, changed, or adapted to whatever shit trends these mindless tribes of people do its sad really YouTube was really relevant to me in like (2006 - 2012) untill most channels just left afterwords there was no such thing as memes so people had to resort to actual comedy there wasent eccentric edgy communitys so everyone didint need to force others throats 

    Honestly I miss the days smosh were just 2 guys making skits so was tobuscus in the early days pewdiepie still played games which I loved him for Ray was still on equals 3 mystery guitar man was the summary of creative videos

    There wasent shitty arg's it was all so fresh 

    But times change but as much as my victims call me psycho I gotta say

    Everyone has gone insane 

    How could anyone coop with this

    I Could never accept this I feel old when I say it 

    People can't stay lonely for 1 day? For 20 years out of all the millions out all the foreign countries I went conjugated with their traditions I have only met 5 people 

    They have a name for everything these days 

    Its all reaction reaction reaction it's all critics critics critics 

    So ask yourself what the fuuudge happened? 

    fruitfork reacted to this

  23. Posted

    4 hours ago, Zeus said:

    I'm amazed this topic made it to 458 pages without the forum crapping out!

    Ikr it's amazing how active this thread is

    Disturbing too 

     

    Man everyone has their own problems 

    Can't we just sit down and say 

    "wow what the f*#k happened?" 

    Let's just go somewhere nice. 

     

    fruitfork reacted to this

  24. Posted

    On 7/15/2020 at 4:12 AM, Chell said:

    I can't write and nobody cares - a post on being unloved I guess

    No need to be so dark 

    If you really want affection try to get closer to people without giving yourself away that's how I lived for 18 years

     

    On 7/4/2020 at 4:24 AM, 少女椿 said:

    My existence is paradoxical, or there's no other definition, when literally everyone is saying something like "you're so stunning, you must be popular! Precious ♡", while my close -favorite human beings- are just "wow, you're still here. What do you want from me?", and this pattern keeps repeating.

    Idk, it's just heartbreaking. 

    What you call paradoxical is chaos 

    For instance on one entrance exam I did every question on math correct which got me to the core of top 2000 out of 2.8 million and on the military exam I did every one wrong which got me under the minumum requirement of entrance that is a paradox its simply chaos

    But your problem is you didint want to make enough of an impact on their life you simply want it to happen naturally you should know humans are greedy you just have to make it all about them  or simply put you just want them to be perfect which in fact is impossible even on respect standerts I don't know how "close" you are with them but know this if you truly care for them it's not late to avert their views on you but as the old adage goes bad beginnings call for bad endings  in fact if you don't like them they don't deserve you there's always someone to share

    you just have to find them 

     

    Rahzel reacted to this

  25. Posted

    On 6/9/2020 at 8:50 PM, Bear said:

     

    Only half of them? Would expect it to be way more. Anyway, realised I was killing the thread so stopped posting some while ago. lol Good to see someone wanting to revive it.

    Mate I spread like herpes to every thread then wanted to cause sum ruckus just my every day cycle

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