nullmoon

That sucks I guess at the end of the day it's making the decision that will be best for your own peace of mind. You can still be an awesome uncle/aunt/both?!

@Gesu There was so far too many reactions I had to this so I settled on laughter You raise a lot of good points though and I can also echo the annoyance relating to parents/friends/strangers being weirdly invested in the output of your genitals. It's your body and your future. It's also the 21st century and staying at home to cook and clean and raise kids is, hold on to your hats, not the inherent destiny of all womankind. 
 
People need to stop projecting their own fears and regrets onto others. 
 
Also, I found out an ex of mine was pregnant a few months after we split up. I have never felt so much fear in all my life. I essentially thought my life was over. Thank Jebus it wasn't mine. I don't need my life to be Jeremy Kyle's wet dream. 

I think kids are kinda cute and funny, and I don't have anything against them. But I don't want to have any myself, because I know I'll never be mentally healthy and stable anough to be able to give them a good and safe childhood. I myself grew up in a mentally ill family, and it damaged me permanently, and I don't want to make any innocent child experience anything like that.

I like kids but I don't want them. Never have done, never will. I decided I didn't want kids when I was four years old because I thought it would hurt giving birth (and to be fair, I wasn't exactly wrong. It doesn't take having kids to know that shit hurts). Fourteen years later and I still feel the same, even though everyone told me I'd change my mind. I fucking hate it when people say that. I know I'm young, but for the past two years, I've been old enough to live by myself (which I actually have been for the past two years), work full-time, get married with parental consent, join the military... oh, and have kids. I just find it so condescending when people tell me I'll change my mind, especially when one of those people was my mother who never wanted kids when she was my age, then had two and told me she regretted it and that if she could go back in time, she wouldn't have had us (cheers for that, bitch ). It's not like anyone ever told me I'd change my mind when I said I wanted to be a chemist, or a singer, or a writer, but I did and now I have my heart set on becoming a paediatric therapist. Interesting how I want to work with children but I don't want any of my own, no? I guess my logic would be that I do love children and I feel like I could support them, but only if I could give them back. I am, however, open to the idea of adopting a child if they were a patient of mine and their parents were abusing them, for example, although they may have to be a little older than most children when they get adopted as I don't know if I'd be prepared to look after a baby.
 
Also, you know what I never understood? People telling me I'll "change my mind" while at the same time telling me I should just "stick to the girls and not get a boyfriend because you are a strong, independent waman". Alrighty then, I'll go out and have a shag then give birth to the baby I'm pregnant with without ever actually getting to know the guy who knocked me up and forming a meaningful relationship with him. *sigh*
 
ETA: I would just like to add that the pain of childbirth is no longer the only reason I don't want to have children. There is a myriad of reasons.

i want to have a kid just so i can abandon it at a mall 

I'm a little late to the party but yeah, been there, done that so I can totally sympathise with how you're feeling/felt (hopefully things are a little less poop now!). 
 
Love is weird and I can't even begin to explain it. My hope is that you find that special someone who makes you feel how you feel about Mr. Dreamboat (that's his name now). It's most likely the case where you haven't found anyone new who ticks all the boxes in the same way he did. Don't feel guilty for not feeling a certain way about potential suitors; there's no point forcing yourself into relationships just to make others happy. 
 
HOWEVER don't create unreasonable expectations as that will mean you'll (un)knowingly push away any real chances of love. It's impossible for a person to emulate another and if you gently persuade them that way, they won't exactly be themselves anymore. 
 
In my wizened state I have realised that I fall in and out of love far too easily...so clearly I don't have a real concept of what true love is. However I think I have ample time and space to work things out before heading into the fray again. 
 
If you've made it this far, I'm sorry. I have no idea what I'm talking about XD TL;DR - Life and love is confusing. Focus on the here and now, not theoretical relationships or theoretical sexy times. As painful as it is, the people you/me/we're all thinking about probably don't even remember us. Plushies cure everything. Buy a plushie. Buy more plushies. 

I bought a jumper. It's huge. We're friends now. 
 

I bought a jumper. It's huge. We're friends now. 
 

Thank you so much for the advice I know I need to toughen up and start putting myself first for a change. Hopefully the next time an opportunity comes up, I can stand up for myself x

Ugh man I envy you. This is courage ladies and gentlemen haha.
 
 

Listen, I was in your situation about a year or so ago, so you know what I did? For the first time in those people's lives (and possibly mine), I told them "no". I told them I couldn't keep mollycoddling them if they were only prepared to spend time with me solely for my pity and my money (I'm not super rich or anything, but I had more money than them and they seemed to like that 🙄 granted, I always offered to buy them things so it was half my own damn fault, but I digress), and I told them I needed space from them until they actually got help for their problems instead of just looking to me for the magic answer to every question they could possibly pose. They broke down in tears and threatened to hurt themselves, and that was when I knew they never gave a shite about me for me.
 
I know it's not easy, but I want you to tell them "no" for once. Don't be super harsh about it, but be forthright and honest with your feelings because they'll never know how you really feel about all this if you don't tell them. If they react like my "friends" did, chuck 'em away. What they did was blackmail and it wasn't something to be blamed on a mental illness as they claimed; it was just clinginess and manipulation. If they understand, however, and agree to give you some space or whatever it is you want from them, then hopefully you should be able to meet somewhere in the middle with them.
 
All the best x

People take advantage of my good nature* and inability to say no. It really pisses me off that they expect me to do everything for them with no thanks in return, and it really pisses me off that I can't decline someone who needs help. This includes family and friends.
 
I'm practically hand-holding my brother through the house buying process without so much as a 'thx lol'. 
 
No wonder I'm constantly seeking approval from others and feeling isolated and anxious. Ugh
 
*self-purported obviously XD 

Hi guys~ 
 
Im Rica and I have been a guest on this forum for a few years, and finally decided to join the family and introduce myself. I am 19 and I'm from Hong Kong(yup, technically part of China but also not really!!). This forum is so useful and informational. I started liking Visual Kei at about 2015, youtube recommended me Kiryu's Amaterasu MV out of nowhere. And I have been in the circle since.
 
I'm not a really active bangya, since I couldnt travel for lives; I got my friends to bought a few CD for me from Japan when they go travelling. Personally, I dont know anyone who know visual kei around me, since it is a very very niche thing in HK. I can only tell my sister and to few of my close friends. So it's great that I know there is a forum like this where I can talk about and read about things that I love. I am actually going to travel to Tokyo next week and I am super excited about it, too bad non of my favs have any lives during my stay :(. 
 
(sorry if i am too long-winded, im a bit excited). 
 
Few of my favorite bands are(in no specific order): 
Kiryu they got me into this whole thing, 
DIV heart broken when they disbanded but was predicted since their last single was uneventful to say the least, 
MejiBray still hasnt got excited about the 8psb thing, 
Clowd sad that they disbanded as well, 
Royz only for their music occasionally and for the kami- Subaru, 
Arlequin love their music and getting their songs on spotify is really appreciated, 
The Raid got into them recently because of kabukicho rainy, love their music and the vocalist's voice
Unite. like their song style occasionally, came across them because they are in the same company as DIV
Babykingdom their songs are so catchy and shogo is so cute~ (not sure if it is a guilty pleasure here)...
零[hz] here for their personalities, mainly cuz they are in BPR
Kizu love love love their music
I also listen to other bands based on the songs, I'm mostly into Vkei for the music to be honest. 
 
Other than vkei, also have an unexplainable love for Motely Crue, Queen, and any other songs occasionally popular to millennials these days.
I am so happy to be here~ and nice to meet you guys~   guess im talking too much for an introduction post  looking forward to be educated about band dramas and news, since i dont really know japanese and am very unfamiliar with fandoms. 
 

Just had chance to listen to this "Beyond" EP and overall impressions are that it's not terribly special, maybe it'll take some re-listens to get fully into it. Firstly I really enjoyed the original/instrumental version Issei released of "Beyond the lost happiness" a lot more, a lot of the best parts about it have been taken out or simplified.... Also there were a few other songs that at times just got me thinking "what the hell are they doing? How did they even think this was cool?" haha. + The SE mid-way through is pretty bad. I know that probably sounds like I have a really negative opinion of it, but actually I didn't NOT enjoy it, just didn't think it's anything worth raving about and 100% glad I didn't spend the 10,000 yen to get the physical copy. But will give it a couple more listens at some point and see if it grows at all. I'll also admit now I did pre-order the IDEAL single... So yeah, don't totally hate the band or anything obviously. 😛

Sounds interesting. Message me if you can

Not sure if they'd be up your alley, but personally, I really love jazzy stuff, so I would recommend Sugar and Moran (the former being a bit more jazzy than the latter). Both of them have disbanded, unfortunately, but they both had my favourite guitarist (Sizna) in their line-ups, and he's really worth listening to. If you want, I can recommend particular songs
 
Also, not really VK, but on the subject of jazz, Jikkendai Marmot are 👌
 
...I realise I've talked a lot about jazz without actually knowing whether or not you like it. I apologise.

Jazz sounds freaking dope! I'll def check them out!

My first attempt a Visual Kei. My mom did my makeup since I suck ass at it but it's good I guess😛

(yay! It works!) 

meanwhile....
 

 
 
I wouldn't be half as annoyed at pitchfork, if they at least supported artists that are actually talented, creative, and empowering as much as they push this degenerative nonsense.

I decided that I want to change jobs and work in a bigger company. I went to the interview and now I'm waiting for the results ;A;. I'm also planning on visiting Japan this year as a birthday present from me to me <3. Things are going better this year.

There was this guy selling (really good) hand/nail products on the street today. He gave me a free sample then asked if I wanted to buy some. He said the usual asking price would be £110 (oof), but he was selling them for £70. Nevertheless, I managed to haggle him down to £25 😏 I'm usually quite frugal but I'm always a sucker for sweet-talking street vendors, so I'm actually pretty proud that I managed to do that.

(yay! It works!) 

FYI this is totally me. 
 
Bork?