Chasing an Irrealistic Male Image

[Peace Heavy mk II 7200]

My friend and I started going to the gym twice a week back in September. I wanted to go because I think I'm gross and am tired of having Spongebob arms.

He's going because he used to go semi-often last year, and found out about online dating recently and wants to impress his "boyfriend." I don't really think I've seen too much of a result, really, but I was around 196 lbs at the end of the summer (88.9041045 kilograms for that metric bullshit) and I'm currently at 187 (84.8217732). My arms don't look all that different to me, but then again you don't really notice how your body changes because you see it everyday: other people who don't see you often will tell you if you look different. I doubt I'll ever look like Spatula guy, but it'd be nice to have a bit more definition. My friend, however, is channeling all of his nervous energy into doing this, counting calories, taking protein supplements, starving himself (in comparison to how he'd eat normally), and looks up exercise stuff all the time. Not entirely sure how I feel about him being hard-core about it, but it's interesting to learn.

Obviously I'm doing this for recreational purposes more than trying to create a new lifestyle for myself, but I also find going to be kind of relaxing. Does anyone here also work out (be it semi-professionally, for fun, or have at least tried it once)? When I go I don't specifically focus on one section of the body: we tend to do arms for about 30 minutes, then a bit of core / love-handle melter (I don't know what it's really called), and then run on the elliptical or bike and play Pokemon for 30 minutes. I use the running time to familiarize myself with new music *brings it around to Monochrome Heaven* . I find that -OZ- and Penicillin are nice to run to, as are old school songs found in the "Songs that PUMP YOU THE FUCK UP" thread.

OH RIGHT: the other thing I thought was interesting that I wanted to share--

http://calculators.hpathy.com/calories-need.asp

Apparently for my height and weight, I need to eat 2620 calories (at most) to lose 1 pound a week. That seems like a lot to me, especially since health class implies that everyone needs to eat exactly 2000 a day otherwise you'll have heart disease for the rest of your life.

[TheBistroButcher666 228]

Eat healthy run everywhere.

[The Libertine 2]

slight bit of health freak here. But I don't starve myself. I eat a lot lot of healthy things in huge quantity. Try to live by eating things that are natural and without added ingredients. Mostly vegetables, beans, grains, lean meat, fish, healthy fats. And I try to run, do pilates/yoga, lift weights every once in a while. I think I lost 20 pounds over a year and now everyone says I'm too skinny but I'm satisfied with how I look.

[ramrod 108]

Fellow male's perspective

Personally. I've been gyming for 6 years. There are two kinds of guys that go to the gym. 1- guys that are too big and want to lose weight/tone/cut. then guys like me 2- gain weight/muscle mass. It's heavily dependant on physical factors like metabolism, but also mental factors like commitment and dedication. You really have to be strict to get the results you want. What your friend is doing is good, though maybe it would bve more beneficial for him to do it for himself and not for others (and how they perceive him and his body...) But how other's see you is good motivation.

When i was trying to bulk up, this is basicalloy what i did. School (ate 8-10 sandwiches (4xvegemite+cheese, 4x tuna+salad and maybe 2 more ebfore gym for energy), 1L water, 3 pieces of fruit and a protein bar. I wouyld eat this throughout school during the day before gym, then after school head to gym for near 2 hours. 3 times a week. When there i did stretches,arms,legs,core,cooldown. The whole body in a go... some people recommend doing chest + arms one day, the the next legs etc...i dont know how much more beneficial that is, but it puts more strain on those muscle groups which would increase muscle mass in comparison.

If you are wanting to lose weight...you need to burn off more calories than you consume. so if you consume 2620 (a week? you sure...cos that is not alot..) then you need to burn that off MINIMUM. Basically you need to cardio the shit out of yourself. An amazing all rounder machine is the rowing machine...it warms the body up, works the arms, legs, back, chest all because of the movements.

Just keep at it, it's good that your friend is doing it too, its good to have a companion to keep you in line and to stay competetive with / support you.

[LIDL 692]

I am not much of gym guy, i hate those stuffs, beefy guys are ugly, except you're Vin Diesel.

But i am into pilates and aerobic. Besides eats healthy (with some cheats on some weekends)

It's already good enough to keep my body slim and slender <3

I actually gained some weight a little, and i am happy with that.

Now i am on my ideal weight, and just need to keep it this way.

I don't give a damn about six packs, biceps and those craps,

not all gay guys into it though. There's market to every type

At least i am not having beer keg belly or something.

I still got served well by restaurant's waitress,

so i know i'm fine. Some chubs i knew and liked didn't

treated well in public because of their body image, which is sad.

Sad society with sad mind set.

About your friend, i don't know, i think he just feels like having target.

Perhaps he had talked with this guy he dating for awhile with and pretty much know

that this guy is into some body with muscles or dreamed to date a guy with such figure.

Personally i don't agree with that, unless you're dating just for physical need.

Relationship should have been about take each other the way they are, including their body shape.

And not only about the physical, but also behaviour and brains.

If one doing things because they wanna impress somebody they like, it could be good, but also could be bad.

It will make one having high hopes that they will actually impress them and

will be crushed so bad if it didn't happen.

Besides, by doing that,

one already lower himself because of fear somebody will leave him because he's not the sexy guy he want.

Maybe this sounds harsh, and i'd like to say my apology for that.

But as judgmental as it sounds, it's true.

But anyway, i wanna wish him good luck and hope all the efforts will pay very well.

[Peace Heavy mk II 7200]

@ramrod : That's a lot of dedication o___o . I fall into the first category: bigger guy** who wants to loose some excess body fat and possibly gain a bit of definition. The 2620 is a daily recommendation according to the converter I posted a link to. 2620 a week is like...a sandwich from subway four times a week and then a stick of gum for every other meal. I think I'm pretty good at staying under that, although it's a bit hard since school food (as of yet: it's a work-in-progress at the moment) doesn't have a calorie count / nutritional information posted for everything. The way that I eat, coupled with how often I even have time to go to the gym, pretty much means I'm not going to get results quickly, but I don't really care about that. I've been making progress which is more than enough for me at the moment.

Unfortunately the school's gym doesn't have a rowing machine. : /

**Most people tell me that I'm really not all that big. I think I am, but I never had a positive outlook on anything I've ever done.

@ Chianti: That's good that you're happy with how you are now : ) Most people aren't and never will be.

To clarify about my friend: his situation is a bit...difficult, I guess. Without divulging too much into his personal life, I'll leave it at the fact that he's having a bit of trouble meeting this guy in person but feels he's really connected with him. Based on my own personal experience of 9 months of having my heart torn out, kicked, and then urinated on, I personally don't consider a relationship to be "official" unless you've met in person and are able to connect just as well there as through a computer or text message. I think he realizes this subconsciously and is a bit nervous about all of the time he's put into making sure he's always around to talk being a waste. He isn't going solely for impressing this guy, but also partly because he can't stand how his body looks. He also readily admitted to me that his sudden interest in taking our twice-a-week trips to gay church more seriously is partly due to his anxiety about never having met his "boyfriend" in public, nor has he been shirtless on cam for him before.

If you love someone for their personality and how dedicated they are to you, it's easy to overlook their physical imperfections. Who knows; maybe this guy prefers having a boyfriend that's husky. My boyfriend was the same way: he worried about me not liking his body because he had pudge. Doesn't bother me in the least though: I love every inch of him. Plus he's a great cuddler!

[ramrod 108]

gotat run soon, so it will be brief. omg, seriously, you can never consider yourself a couple if you havent met in real life...there is SO much more to a person that you can't experience just over the internet.you really cant...

in regards to eating, its also what and how you're eating. To lose weight you need to stimulate your metabolism constantly by eating 5 times a day, but SMALL portions. like a salad with chicken, or a salad sandwich, or a couple of pieces of fruit. Things like that, small but healthy portions will help you lose weight as it keeps your body burning. and then exercise ontop of it will show results in no time.

Your weight is good. Youp robablyt just need to tone up, so do alot of cardio and core ab exercises

need any more info just ask. I'm no pro, but i'm not stupid when it comes to vanity related shit lol

[Takadanobabaalien 3607]

I used to go to the gym alot before.

Unfortunately my gymcard ran out, and I haven't bothered buying a new one for 1,5 years.

I must say I miss it abit, and I loved seeing how in 1 year I actually got ripped as fuck compared to how I used to look.

Anyway, I'll probably start again when my economy allows me to.

[MY BFF HEIDI 7]

I can't afford a gym membership, but I do home-cardio to keep me from getting paunchy and gross.

[Karma’s Hat 3107]

I got spongebob arms, but when my companion notices, it's too late for her.

I hate working out, and i hate moving in general and there isn't much to motivate me as long as i stay attractive. I did have a gym membership once, but that was a long time ago and i didn't care much for it anyway. And eating healthy? I lived six months solely on coffee, bread and kebab haha. I'll die before i see 30.

[Ito 2438]

I personally hate working out, but I still do it several times a week. More so for me I am working on my flexibility, mine is piss poor. However, try to do a bit of core and arms as well. I would put myself in the larger guys category, I weigh about between 185 and 190. For the most part my extra weight is in my stomach. My arms aren't exactly toned, but they don't really have any flab either. My legs, which still mystify me when I look at my dad's legs, are large and all muscle.

My biggest problem with working out is that I don't enjoy it, so most of my exercise is limited to the sports I do: Skiing, Biking, Rollerblading, and Aikido. Right now biking is out of the question because it is currently winter and my bike got stolen in fall >.

Over the course of this year I am going to try and get myself down to 175 at least. I am not trying for a 6 pack, just enough to get the stomach more solid...hopefully I keep up with my schedule, but work and school are going to make that difficult.

[ficsci 50]

I'm also chasing a non-realistic male image, for a romantic interest I mean. Lol. (Except I know someone who's looks like that living in my hall, omg drools. He eats a shit ton of food really fast, but he's skinny... and hot.)

Back to the body image topic. I'm not male. But I'm 5'2" and 120lb. I want to be 110lb or something around there. But I like my ice cream.

[Peace Heavy mk II 7200]

Maybe it's because of your height, but I haven't been 120 lbs since the 5th grade . Your pictures on last.fm make you look taller .

[Ito 2438]

Lol, my last roommates have been skinny as fuck... Faku is like 110, my other roommate is like 130, and the previous one was 115. What drives me nuts is they all can eat what ever the fuck they want and will never notice any of it. The one that is 130 eats so much fast food...

FYI, a guy in college should probably weight at least 130-140, under that is just boarding on unhealthy

[Peace Heavy mk II 7200]

My progress, for those of you interested:

[Zeus 7997]

It's amazing how tan you got!

I plan on doing some calisthenics starting tomorrow anyway. Not going to be big and beefy, but for someone of my size I'm freakishly strong and I want to capitalize on that.

[JustSumNerd 0]

All throughout high school I was kinda pudgy and and was teased for. Eventually I started feeling uneasy about it not because of them but more so because how tired i'd get from walking up three flights of stairs. I started working out little by little and I started off at 185 pounds. Through out the school year I learned to eat a bit healthier learned some portion control and acquired a love for running. by the end of my sophmore year I was close to 160 pounds. My junior year I ended up staying around the same weight gaining 1 or 2 pounds here and there but my senior year was when I really got to work.

I was working out 3 times a day. I took a totally body conditioning class in the morning, worked out after school, and then would head home and rest for about 4 or 5 hrs and then workout again for another hour. A majority of what i did with my first two workouts though was cardio as I was running 6-8 miles a day. By the end of my senior year I was 138 pounds.

From there on out I realized how much mass I had lost ._.; (I was starting to fit into my brothers clothing.) I decided then to try and bulk up while continuing my excersize routine to keep things in check. I went up to 168 by the end of my sophmore year.

Currently while still working out and keepin up with cardio im 200 pounds, but im no beefcake xD I've mostly been toning and trying to stay relatively medium sized i guess.

Anywho long story short I love working out. And im sure your excersise is goin well and will get better Peace Heavy mk II.

One last thing I hate ab work with a passion ;_; and when it comes to it i get bored pretty easily anyone know any cool ab excersises?

[Pandabear 414]

I'm one of the few who actually loves working out. I love all type of physical exercise. We could live in a world where everyone is in perfect health and has the perfect body and I'd still work out. I've never actually had any sort of weight problem and have maintained and normal and healthy weight growing up. I'd starting working out when I was 14, mostly doing cardiac and push ups. then I started to include weight lifting and core workouts. It was a bitch when I first started and I could barely do 10 push ups, but I can easily do over 100 in under a minute now.

I'm not weight obsessed, image obsessed or even look like a muscle bound dude. I go for the lean and toned muscle type of look. TBH I look like a normal guy with my clothes on. And the only real reason I started to work out in the first place was because I I found it hard doing certain physical labor at the time and I found it really frustrating. Another reason was just to be healthy. I have a crap ton of energy now and I sleep better. I use to suffer from chronic insomnia but exercise pretty much cured that.

So pretty much for me its always been about being healthy and happy. I don't care about society's or the media's model image of a male body.

[D.L.S 11]

I last weighed myself sometime in spring and I was at 114 and now I am at 108. I lost 6 pounds by doing absolutely nothing. Hooray me!!!! Now to lose the last 8 pounds and I'll be pefrect! ()b Hmmm... Could it be that I don't drink soda anymore.... I just don't know.