what kind of love is this?

[Mei 276]

i have a friend which i really like and love. tbh, i like her a lot. we've had sex a couple of times. thing is that she has a bf. BUT, she's always jealous when i hang out with other female friends (i say female cos she knows im bisexual and nvms if im with boys).

does this mean she's in love with me? or she's just jealous like any other friend could be?

[pinkmakona 1810]

You say you really like/love her a lot, have you told her that you do? I think you need to know where you stand here. You two basically need to discuss this, and tell each other your feelings now really. Especially because she is in a relationship.

I personally would feel weird and awkward around a friend i slept with, but that is just me. You said she had a bf, and you two are having sex behind his back. Don't you feel bad about that? Or sorry, did you have sex when she didn't have a bf? You didn't make that clear.

You seem to not be sure if she loves you. If she loved you, wanted to be with you, she would have dumped her bf and gone with you, but that doesn't always happen. However, i do think that she has developed some romantic feelings for you, but she hasn't admitted it. Since you two were intimate together and because of your friendship, you know and understand each other well, you have bonded.

Also if she just thought of you as a friend, she wouldn't be jealous with you chatting up/meeting other people, why would she? She has a bf and you are a "friend", she would be happy that you might get a gf/bf right. That jealousy indicates that she probably does have romantic feelings for you. There is a reason why she isn't telling you. You will find out by asking her.

The solution is to have a private conversation with her. Tell her how you feel and hear what she feels, and take it from there. Like i previously mentioned, i do think she has romantic feelings for you.

[miyuu 40]

maybe she hates yaoi. but yaoi fans have this thing when they are very jealous over other females but not jealous over guys. so maybe she wants to be the only girl in your life but doesn't care about you sleeping or being friends with other guys .

but this can be applied in both romantic or only friendly relations

i don't know if she wants more than frienship. but since you slept together it must be something more.

but that doesn't mean she is crazy in love with you.or more in love with you than her boyfriend. that noone can tell .except her and maybe you can understand that if you know her well.

(at least i can't tell only from what you described)

but why do you ask? do you want more from her or just curiousity.

maybe she is feeling unsecure to have a serious relationship with you or doesn't see it as an option if she feels you are more attracted to guys.

[Zeus 7997]

Two things:

1. If she'll cheat with you, she'll cheat on you.

2. Forbidden lust. You may feel this way so much because she's unavailable. Things might change once she is available again.

Long story short: Tread carefully. You are on thin ice and you don't know it yet. I've been there.

[LIDL 692]

That's a hook up.

Non status relationship.

She takes you as fuck buddy but with feelings.

Or else she takes you as her sex slave, her belonging and she is possesive.

So good luck.

[Ito 2438]

Ok, one thing needs to be made clear: Did you have sex when she had a bf or before? That really does make a difference in how to interpret this situation.

Thought #1: Sex doesn't necessarily mean anything when it comes to feelings. IT SHOULD, but it doesn't all the time. What where the conditions under when you did shit? There is also a big difference between romantic sex and one that is just lustful or drunk or etc and I think there should be some solid clues there.

Thought #2: "i have a friend which i really like and love" You need to figure your own feelings out, dude. How do you feel about her? Do you hate that she has a boyfriend? Or do you just want to be with her because you think she has feelings for you? That isn't meant as an insult, I have seen that a lot before and have done stuff like that myself. You just need to try and understand yourself before you go and worry about her feelings.

Thought #3: How does she react when you hang with other girls. I mean like details.

[Mei 276]

hi again, thanks for your opinions.

we had sex during her relationship with his bf, that's why (when we had sex) i couldnt see her for a month because her parents didnt let her see me, knowing i didnt force her to do anything. and i got depressed, but as her mother loves me... now im back. when she invites me to her home we sleep together. we might have occassional sex. the other day she was jealous because i was talking to another female friend she knows and she said to me (today) that that day she cried, she put me on fb "i'll explain u later". so today she did, she said that whenever she has a really close friend she wants it for herself and only hers. i thought it was selfish, but then i remembered she's a borderline and they tend to be promiscuous, though she said it like if she really had good feelings towards me. i really dont know. we always do talk about anything but im not brave enough to face her and ask her what's going on...

:/

and yeah, i envy her bf.

btw, today i went to her home and her mom (who's a friend of mine on fb) said joking "so now u've got a new gf?! we've even cried with (... name of girl). it was about time, but not with that girl" like meaning, she wants me for her daughter. she also knows her daughter likes me, simply cos she told her.

[ficsci 50]

ok, I've never been in a relationship, but I've had quite some experience with unrequited love towards friends (one of them is gay)

I would say that she's just a jealous/possessive type who doesn't hold back. So she has feelings for you (lust? like?), but maybe even she doesn't know whether it's "love". I mean "love" isn't necessarily a yes or no kind of thing, and duh people always argue about what that means. In my experience, I've had a "thing" for a (straight) friend, and when he got together with another girl, I got really jealous that one time I even got a panic attack. But in my definition, I won't call that "love", because I won't consider being in a long committed relationship with him (lol, I know I'd end up wanting to choke him if I had to date him).

As for her being jealous when you're with female friends, and not when you're with guy friends... I had been in love (yes, not even a "thing", this one's serious) with a guy who turns out to be gay, and I could only feel sad/helpless about it. I don't really feel jealous towards guys he likes, because I can't compare myself to a guy, nor can I ever be "that guy that he's with". But when he talked about his past experiences with girls (whom I know he had zero attraction towards, but was socially pressured to "experiment" with), oddly enough I was jealous, for no logical reason obviously.

Hope that helps. Feel better.

[ramrod 108]

Rule of thumb. If she is willing to cheat with you, she's going to cheat on you.

Is a girl that willingly cheats on her boyfriend really the kind of girl that you want?

Additionally, "whenever she has a really close friend she wants it for herself and only hers."

That's a sign of jealousness and possessiveness, another non-admiral quality. If by chance in the future you will end up together, she will be even worse. This in itself at such a non-commital stage is quite intense, crying when you talk to your friends, this will be further amplified when/if you go out. To be perfectly honest, she sounds reallyhigh maintenace, jealous and the type of girl that would want 100% of your attention, and assume the worst when you chat with friends of yours that are girls.

That's my 2 cents, maybe you like this all in a woman, but personally i see it as highly dysfunctional.

[Mei 276]

lol, ok ok. tomorrow i'll talk to her just to give a step into the water.

at least i want her to say that she just loves me as a friend.

but damn, i cant erase from my head what her mother told me...

[ramrod 108]

Be wary of emotional manipulation. I am really shocked her mother said that, though i think you're looking too far into it, she was joking.

[Mei 276]

yeah, she was joking, but i know mica (her) cried, cus she told me so. and her mother has always treated me like the man she wants for her. i dont really know how his bf gets along with her mother.