How do you forget your (bf/gf)'s past?

[jurideluhi 6]

it seems like I just can't accept it. I'm just too emotional. :/

[MY BFF HEIDI 7]

here's a tip: grow the hell up

[LIDL 692]

No worries, i am sure you're not the only one.

I am in the same boat with you.

I don't think the past can be forgotten entirely.

There is always things that makes us remember of our former partner.

Either it's the road we walked in, music that used to be our song,

Restaurant for the first date, first movie we both watch together, and the list goes on.

Even the things that makes us pissed at them. In the end those makes us never really

erase them from our minds.

So yeah, forgiven but never forgotten.

[ginHigure 22]

i forgot most of them quite fast which means they werent that good.

Except for one which took me a long time.

Try confronting how you actually feel, but keep in mind that there are better people out there.

Time heals everything. Also make yourself busy so you do not remember as often.

[freesia 714]

It hurt me too when my ex mentioned his past with other girls. He went into detail in how he kissed her. There's no way but to accept them if you really love them or else it'll just damage the relationship with your partner, like it did to me.

[TheBistroButcher666 228]

I'm on good terms with all my former boyfriends, however I was the one normally doing the breaking up so I was the one breaking hearts and hurting feelings (muhahaha). However, all my break ups have been on good terms, nothing outrageous. They've all moved on but I would say that we are friends, not great friends and I keep a distance from them. Mainly out of respect for my current boyfriend, it just does not look or sound good if I go hanging out with just my ex you know?

With that said, I don't have much advice to give on this one LOL.

[Zeus 7997]

If you're asking how you can forget who your bf/gf has been with or what he or she has done, my answer would be that you don't (not that you can't, but that you shouldn't). The experiences and choices that a person has made has turned them into what they are today. Take out one decision or experience from their past and you can completely change who that person turns out to be. Are there some things that you'll wish had never occurred? Most definitely. But who is to say that they gained a learning experience from the outcome of their decisions that turned them into that person that you fell in love with? I wouldn't pick apart what you like and what you don't like. It should be about accepting all of it no matter how painful or foolish it might seem.

If it's so serious that you don't think you can get over it, you shouldn't be with that person.

Also think about it like this: you're just analyzing all of the things in his/ her past and magnifying the imperfections and downplaying all the good parts to him/her. Everyone has flaws. Everyone. The key to falling in love is to just accept those flaws. Maybe not love them, but learn to live with them because someone that is in love with you is also living with yours. Rejecting someone over something that they may not have had control over or even because of a minor mistake or error in judgment is needlessly cruel. I'm not going to play the "imagine if he did it to you" card but...I'm playing that card. Just grow to accept it and then move past it.

Of course, I'm saying this without even knowing what it is that's got you so upset but odds are, this is probably what you need to do.

FWIW, this is also coming from a person that's never been in a relationship. How's that perspective for you?

[TheBistroButcher666 228]

Ohhhhhh LOL, I totally misunderstood the question ahahahaha.

OKAY OKAY REDO!

If you can't accept their past then you need to do some self reflection. It is you that has a problem not them. Zesty pretty much sums it up pretty well. Now if it's something totally screwed up like molesting a child, murdering someone or just something horrific like that, that's totally understandable but if you have a problem accepting who they have been with or little things like that you shouldn't dwell on it. It's in the past, it's over with. Time to move on. Especially if you were not part of their past, if you weren't there then there is no point getting into it.

[LIDL 692]

lol same, totally missunderstood the question.

To forget our bf/gf past,

it will be tough job for some people.

But nothing is impossible if you want to try, that is the first move.

Everyone will have a past, either good or bad.

And one need to realize that before they making commitment to be a gf/bf of each other.

And will really need lots of understanding and big heart and open mind attitude to make it work.

If you cannot handle it, even after you tried for awhile, even you'd feel worst instead

then maybe the person is not the right guy/girl for you.

Then i suggest to let the person go than keep it going just to hurt each other even deeper.

[jurideluhi 6]

Thank you everyone for replies

Then i suggest to let the person go than keep it going just to hurt each other even deeper.

Im not able to do this at this moment. My courage to let the feeling go isn't just right at this time. I wish I could.

[Prophet 168]

Well, find a new one.. this is the easiest an the most effective method for me.

[Pretsy 1343]

Well, find a new one.. this is the easiest an the most effective method for me.

THIS.

[x_dak_x 5]

I find it strange how my ex, 10 months later still has our old photo together as his avatar/profile picture still....wtf

[The Bread Wolf 231]

^ Maybe it's as simple as he being to lazy to change it?

[x_dak_x 5]

^ he had a different one up, but then changed it to our old photo...

[x_dak_x 5]

1 month later he has tried contacting me once every week......through email, facebook, and calling.

[YuyoDrift 1540]

You could *GASP* Talk to your partner about it. Seems no one has mentioned it. So what if it makes you seem like you have insecurities by bringing the topic up, you'll feel worse knowing that you left your S.O for that reason alone.