jiji94

Definitely this. I totally forgot about seasons having that effect as well. Hope my post didn't come across as anything other than suggesting seeing a professional. lol I know for some people it can be tough, myself included. 

Is LM.C ever just gonna.... go away...?

lmao Most I do is save pretty much every pre-2000 photo of Atsushi Sakurai that I can find. I've started to do the same with hide, but that's more to do with interest in his makeup style and hair.. I'd looove to start collecting old magazines if I can.
 
I have a folder dedicated to photos of musicians with cats, if that counts.

yeah, I think so too, it might be better to start looking for a therapist if you're already bothered with this thing.
 
we're in the season change now, and that might flare things up itself for no real reason, but it's always good to get a professional opinion. they might come up with a more organized coping/behavioral approach, and I'd absolutely stay away from picking up suggestions here (even though it might be a start - but again, everyone's situation and the underlying issue(s) behind it are v. different)
there's a lot more nuance to mental health than the "dis is totally me when I'm OCD-ing", or "that's depression UwU" or "oh, that's bipolar :~D" guesswork.

Being black in America.

Realizing today that I'm a bread sexual.

bipolar disorder

First time I hear Tatsurou talk I cried. I also really like Klaha's voice but I don't think I will ever hear him sing again since he basically disappeared :< At least we have was has been put out there.  

Yeah, Tatsurou's another with a deep voice. Takuya's is just so, sooo deep when he talks that it doesn't seem like that type of voice would come out. lol
 
Kind of like when I first heard Isshi from Kaggra talk. There was such a huge contrast between how he spoke and how he sang. First time I heard him talk I think I almost flung my laptop across the room.

I am always  shooketh  I hear Tatusurou sing but I am always quaking when I hear him scream or growl

For some weird reason, every time I hear Takuya from The Oral Cigarettes talk I'm always so shook at how deep his voice is.

Honestly, I hate being around people but yet I want to go to a con and do a group VK cosplay. 

why did younger me not fall absolutely in love with bowie

SM really wants me dead

I'm always trying to save as much money as possible so I mostly only buy the cheapest kinds of groceries I can find. There's usually not that much quality difference between some cheap brands and expensive brands in some basic grocery things anyway, so it's always been fine. But today I made a huge mistake and bought the cheapest coffee I could find in our local supermarket.
 
This coffee is so bad it only tastes like sadness.

I kinda expected what my grandma said, but my uncle and mom were unexpected. They never really spoke against it and I kind expected them to not care or say much. My mom was so against it too, like my grandma using the whole Christian argument lol. 

Wow, SM, where were you hiding this sort of music video budget?! I mean, as expected for Yunho's comeback but oh my god. This might be one of the best music videos for an idol after their military service that I've seen. I'm getting such huge old school (?) TVXQ/DBSK vibes and can't stop thinking of Junsu for some reason?

Yah, totally get that. And wtf about your family?? I'm lucky when I was a kid my mom sat me down and explained what transgender meant to me. I live in a very small town but at least four or five people in my age group are openly trans/non-binary.
 
I identify as genderqueer tbh I wouldn't say I'm trans but it's possible..?

Don't give a fuck what anyone else says, just be you. The stigma against trans people is so fucking disheartening, and these naysayers just need to mind their own business and let people live their own fucking lives.
 
I don't really know if I struggle with dysphoria myself (I'm fine with my genitals although I hate periods more than anything so I wouldn't call myself trans), but I have struggled with being either masc or femme. I was forced to be real feminine for all my childhood until I graduated high school, and when I started college, I started dressing more butch and even got to cut my hair short which was a lifelong dream for me tbh. Now a couple years later, I've actually started wearing makeup (another thing that I never really got to do during my childhood), and I'm developing an interest in feminine fashion that I didn't really pay much attention to before, like lolita, and I'm pretty much entering that period where I wanna be femme again ;w; I just have to grow my hair out first since dresses don't really look good on me with having short hair and I kinda wanna lose weight too. orz

Yeah I mean I do plan on doing physical transition to some extent but don't really wanna be considered a boy or girl, I think it's androgyne? 
 
And yea I get that kind of, I came out to my family without even thinking about it until my grandma called me mentally ill. Now my uncle always talks about "In order to be a man you have to..." and list a bunch of masculine things and even stupid shit like hand veins are essential for being masculine? (I like them and all but I don't think they are a masculine characteristic) But yea I get a lot of nasty comebacks when I say I don't really want to be a very masculine man. I think Femme boy is more me? 

Yooo you're not the only person I've talked to who feels that way. Actually, when I was really confused about my gender identity I messaged a friend of mine who is transgender and he told me how for himself his perception of gender has continued to change and that internally he does not consider himself male or female. He definitely helped me make sense of myself. 
 
Anyway, I've been in denial about my gender identity for pretty much the past decade or so? It took until having a breakdown while talking to my ex because being forced into a gender role was driving me up the wall.