» [bLOG] REMEMBER THE NAME
AKANE
2016-02-15 01:47:18
Already
There’s not much time left
Where do I begin?
At such times, it usually comes to me as I write.
So let me start with a thanks.
What do you think of “D.I.D. presents”?
Ain’t that the greatest tai-ban event?
This is family.
Each of these bands gladly accepted to perform with us.
I’m the one who suggested it.
To have a last shusai.
All of a sudden.
Truth is, just like we first announced,
Tohma was supposed to go on hiatus at the end of January.
We had no plans to have any one-man or shusai, and he wasn’t supposed to perform at all beyond that.
But I felt like we couldn’t really send off such a close friend so nonchalantly.
Well then, let’s do a one-man?
Nah, we have a family.
The bands performing at this event, all of them truly are our family.
Usually, offers to perform at an event should be made at the very least 3 months beforehand.
Half a year before isn’t rare either.
We offered our family to perform on such short notice, yet everyone accepted without hesitation
I’m truly grateful to them.
We’ll be able to send Tohma off while having fun backstage
To DADAROMA who accepted to perform despite their busy schedule,
To SIN who’re a bit like our little brothers,
To JILUKA, whom I’m personally a fan of,
To Rickocchi from JILUKA who calls me his “big bro”
To REV who, it’s a secret to no one, are old treasured friends,
And then Zenon,
who have been coming to see our lives since the distance between us recently got smaller,
and who always talk to us backstage at tai-bans.
With our family around us, we’ll be able to give Tohma the goodbyes he deserves.
I’m kinda starting to feel sad as I’m writing this,
which is why I hadn’t written anything at all about Tohma’s hiatus until now.
I didn’t want to his last show to be sad.
Yet I can’t erase it from my heart.
Still, I have to say what I have to say
Which is why I’m writing this entry.
I can’t remember exactly when it was,
but it was at the studio that Tohma told us he wanted to leave the band suddenly.
And I didn’t stop him.
Tohma will give you more details about his reasons if he feels inclined to do so,
But rather than saying I didn’t stop him,
It’s more like I couldn’t get myself to do it.
Usually, when someone wants to leave the band,
The usual procedure is to ask them to stay a little longer
or to try to stop them.
But that day at the studio, the tone of Tohma’s voice…
No… it was his eyes, I guess.
I couldn’t stop him.
At that instant, I realized that the things you hold the closest are also the most important ones.
I’m sure Tohma wanted to keep going,
that it just became impossible for him to do so.
He didn’t truly want to leave,
but the reason he gave us was something extremely important
Therefore, when I heard the tone of his voice, I knew we could only accept it and let him.
That’s why he’s not really leaving per-se.
Even if he never stands on the same stage again, he’ll always be one of us.
I was on the verge of tears when I told Tohma
“Why don’t we let even just your name remain with us?
That way, we’ll always be friends, right?”
Then Tohma became all the more emotional.
And that’s when it sank in.
“Thanks a lot.” he said.
I was about to cry too.
Tohma has always been a huge emotional support.
When it became just the 4 of us, it was the first time I thought that as long as Tohma was there, the shows would still be fun.
Until that time, going on stage made me feel nothing but pressure.
I couldn’t enjoy myself at all.
I sucked at singing and I didn’t think much of my death voice.
Even so, Tohma kept calling me “emoi” and always stayed by my side.
Eventually, I was able to come to enjoy myself as I faced the stage.
Next, I want to talk about what happened with the online distribution.
The recording wasn’t postponed because we slacked off or had no motivation to do it.
The production itself started from last year.
We had finished all but one of the pre-recording demos.
But, somehow we weren’t satisfied, we couldn’t reach perfection.
No matter how much we worked on it, we remained far from our ideal.
Therefore, we continued to work on the sound through trial and errors for months without being able to make any announcement.
In the end, we could only announce the release of “the resolution”
But we’re so picky that we couldn’t quite make any progress.
We’re truly sorry to everyone who had been looking forward to the distribution.
There’s a good reason why we changed our plans and decided to release only one song.
Even though Tohma won’t be with us anymore,
We don’t know who’s going to play the new song one day.
Therefore, we wanted to leave behind one last song as the D.I.D. that Tohma was a part of.
That’s about it for recent news.
The last show with Tohma will be on the 22nd.
I’m not thinking one bit that only our show’s got to be the best.
I just truly think that it’s great we were able to gather up our family,
And with them, we’ll be able to turn the 22nd into the greatest day.
Please look forward to it.
I don’t know if Tohma’s ever going to read this post,
But a long time ago, we got caught in the snow while on tour and Tohma and I talked together in the van the whole time for over 12 hours.
Why only to Tohma?
Because the other members were all asleep. (laugh)
While relaying each other at the wheel, we talked about the world, about space. The whole time, non-stop for 12 hours.
It was a lot of fun.
During that blizzard tour,
I felt like I could call Tohma my close friend for the first time in my life.
He helped me open up my heart to other people.
Even if Tohma won’t be with us anymore,
it doesn’t mean that we’ll never see him again,
but we won’t have as many chances to do so anymore.
I kinda started to cry as I wrote this.
When I was hospitalized, the day I was supposed to be released
Tohma came to the place where I lived and waited for me, by himself, the whole day.
But I had no idea about this.
I went straight back to my parents’ house after leaving the hospital.
That day I couldn’t meet Tohma.
But when I got home, I got a call from him saying
“When you got discharged, I waited for you at the same restaurant/bar as usual!”
When I heard that, I started bawling my eyes out.
I guess I’m out of things to write now.
But on the 22nd for Tohma’s last, let’s do whatever it takes to turn this into the greatest day.
Please call our names in the biggest voice you have.
We like it.
For us bandmen,
Having our name called out kinda turns on a switch inside us
We’ll do our best
So to those who’re coming on the 22nd,
Let’s go wild like never before!
If there’s any problem with the livehouse because you guys are too wild,
I’ll go down on my knees and apologize to the owner for you
So don’t worry about anything.
Because the members and the fans altogether are D.I.D.
This day might never come twice
So I want to make it a special one.
And I want to send Tohma off nicely.
Therefore,
Please
call our names from the pit of your stomach until your voice breaks!
I don’t want to hear any shrill voices.
I want it to come from the heart.
On that day, we’ll give you everything we got.
That’s what that day is for.
So please wait.
Just a little longer.
Translated by: day-I-die on tumblr
