[POLL] Would you like to have children?

[CAT5 9075]

This one is pretty straightforward! Would you like to have children? Why or why not? What are your reasons? Let's talk about it!

[tetsu_sama69 1119]

I answered other for a kinda mixed reason. I have no real desire to have children because I've already had one. Granted, I did not keep her. I wasn't in a good place at the time and decided it was best for someone who couldn't have a daughter to take care of her as much as I wanted to. Also... I don't handle children well. Even if they are blood related I have always had a short leash for them and even disliked being around other kids when I was younger as well. Something about the unpredictability and not being able to be left alone just makes it too much for me.

[platy 3018]

Even though I went for "nah", deep down I still would like to pass on my genes. I don't have motherly instincts, I deeply dislike children and have 0 patience with them. I don't know if I'll ever be ready to sacrifice every second of my life for them. The whole process of pregnancy sounds not worth the pay off and adoption seems ridiculously challenging. To top it all off I don't wanna put someone in a world that seems to be going to shit at record speed. I enjoy my freedom too much and already have enough on my plate looking after myself, but who knows, maybe one day biology will back stab me and the desire to pass on my genes will take over. Last year my nephew was born and I do find myself thinking about the day we'll be able to run after each other and I'll be able to read him books, but what makes it so special is that I don't actually have to have him with me 24/7.

[Kuro 45]

Nope, not at all.

Regarding caring about kids I'd be a good parent, I guess. That's the maybe only point that should make me go for a different choice. (However I'm not sure if kids saw it that way though because I'd be pretty strict.)

However I neither want to pass on my fucked up genes since I believe that mental health issues are at least partly related to this (even though I'm convinced that shaping/education has more influence on this). But that gets to the next point I'm not in the condition to ever give to a kid what they'd need.

And aside from this I wouldn't want to put my body as well as my mental condition through pregnancy. Not a single bit.

[Bear 1817]

Fuck no. Simple as that.

[solaris05 53]

I want kids! So bad!!! ...When I'm older lol

 

I grew up very family oriented and so for the longest time I've always wanted children of my own (one or two, probably one). Not having children was never a thought. The easiest way to explain my thoughts towards this is that I KNOW for certain I want to be a mom. That's my main life goal. I don't know what type of career I want and I have no other true BIG goals besides you know, following Gaze tours. At some point, I just want to be able to settle down and have children. I would babysit my cousins a lot since they were infants so my patience grew a lot and I love them so muchhhh. I want one. lol.

 

Ideally, I'd love to have one of my own biological child and then adopt a second child. Probably adopt an older kid since they're usually the ones who don't get chosen. I hear adoption is super expensive though...

 

 I also really want to experience pregnancy??? I know every pregnancy is different and for all I know I could have the worst luck and get a terrible pregnancy....but I'll take that risk. I really want to experience pregnancy and I want to be a mom and raise a kid and give them the best life possible. I've thought about it a lot. I want to be pregnant by 33 but obviously that might not be the case lol

 

My poor friends always deal with me and my baby talk lol 

Edited October 22, 2020 by solaris05

[Gesu 1537]

I love children but I don't want them. I'd say I'm quite motherly and I hate to see children upset, and I've been told I communicate with them very well and they seem to like me. I've tried to get jobs at nurseries before because I think it's something I'd be good at. I've never actually wanted any of my own though, and that's the way it's going to stay. When I say I've never wanted them, I mean I've never wanted them, not since I was a kid, not ever. I always got told "oh, you'll change your mind one day, I did" by my mother, and honestly, it hurt that she didn't believe me. Obviously kids can't be expected to make massive decisions at that age but I still don't see the need to be a contrarian. That, and considering my mother later told me she would never have had me if she could go back in time (and she sure as fuck showed it as well), I saw the effects of having children and regretting it first-hand and I would never want to do that to a child of my own.

There are many reasons why I don't want them. I'm super ambitious and having a kid would get in the way of me doing everything I want to do. I'm very independent and I don't see me devoting my life to someone else. In the same vein, I'm quite content not having a life partner so the chance of me even finding someone to have a kid with is slim. I also don't like the idea of living with someone else because it would mean I couldn't just go home after a bad day and have my own space. I'm not the biggest and strongest person in the world and I don't deal well with pain so childbirth sounds nightmarish. I had a difficult birth that made me frail as a baby so there's a chance I could pass something like that on. I come from a massive family so it's not like my bloodline's gonna die out anytime soon if I don't have kids (and for the record, one of my twenty cousins gave birth earlier this year). I lived with a few families when I was a teenager and it taught me I'm not the most family-oriented person. The list goes on.

I know a lot of people would disagree with me on this but if I ever got pregnant, I'd have an abortion, no question. The closest I could ever get to having a child would be adopting a child I already knew because they couldn't live in their current situation, but what are the odds of that happening?

[Total Saikou 735]

Hmm... I always wonder if I'll ever end up in a relationship stable enough for children. I get a sneaking suspicion that it won't happen, but I'm too young to know anything for sure. I have a little less time to have kids than the average woman, unfortunately. Serious reproductive issues run in my family so I have to become pregnant before my early thirties or else I run the high risk of miscarriage and unsafe pregnancy.

 

I would say that I like kids, but I am severely out of my element with them. I didn't get a lot of experience with younger kids my whole life. Nobody wanted me for babysitting because most families choose the kids of people they know over strangers, my few friends growing up were either only kids or the youngest in the family, and I'm a first generation immigrant who left every single member of my family--except for my mom who brought me here--behind. When I get a chance, I like talking to kids. They're always willing to learn and I love teaching kids new things such as new words and new things to do. I'm a bit concerned about the physical exhaustion that comes with kids, though. I'm already low-energy as hell (even had to go to the doc to get tested for some disease or lack of iron and they don't know what's up with me) so I'm not sure how I would fare if I had to care for a kid on top of myself.

 

In the end, I would say that if the pieces fall in place and I have a stable relationship and financial situation, I would like to do my best to raise a child with my life partner. 

 

[cheesy_VK_Freak 76]

definetly, but sometimes I feel the desire is so strong because I am looking for meaning in my life. I can‘t seem to find it out of my own resources. I want to be busy with something beyond job life, for instance. I tried to find a cool hobby, but nothing seems to click with me quite. At the same time, I like the freedom of thought, I like how unoccupied it is (=not with worrying about a child etc). It can go anywhere, but damn sometimes it goes were it should not (=depression). So I have this naiive thought that a child  could solve all of this ‚where should I go in my life‘? 

I think birth is something very beautiful and I was always fascinated by the unconditional bond between parent and a child, it is the most fascinating relationship I can think of. No matter how bad you are towards your child, there will still be this magical bond connecting the both of you. You can‘t get out. It is dangerous, but it can be so powerful overcoming so much. God knows best what is meant for me.