Datingsites

[Cupcakes 55]

Ever since I turned 18 my mom keeps saying I should join a datingsite. And hey, why not?

But, the question is:

Someone having any experience with dating sites? Do you think you can find your "true" love on there?

[Des 289]

I have no experience with datingsites and I don't intend to ever try such a thing.

But I am curious about this though... why does your mother want you to sign up for one? Did she meet her current boyfriend/husband that way? I can't think of any other logical explanation.

You're only 18 years old. To be honest, I always thought datingsites are much more suited for "older" people (say 40+) because they don't go out as often anymore. Harder to meet someone I guess... that's where the internet kicks in.

Honestly, at your age I don't think the internet is necessary for this.

[TheBistroButcher666 228]

Alright, so here's what I have heard from friend's personal experience with those sites, I have never used a dating site myself.

OKcupid and Match are the only two I know friends have used and the results have always been lack luster. My female friend used Match and all the results were full of creepy men that were obviously 30 and older but lied about their age so that they would be matches for younger women. I wish I could find the collage she made of all the profile photos, creepy redneck looking guys with handlebar mustaches and mullets. I am not exaggerating.

OKcupid my male friend used and had pretty dismal luck, the women that did match him up with were women with incredibly doctored photos that only showed their face at awkward angles. Shit ton of makeup so it looked like they sweat makeup. The only person that didn't have doctored photos was a gothtard looking chick, she wasn't that bad, just lots of stupid Tripp pants and listing all her favourite bands. But all her photos were her just staring with a blank dead expression into the camera, totally a deer in headlights look. He stopped using it because it was just a mess and he knew the moment seeing these women it would not work out.

I know someone else that used Match and hooked up with a girl, they dated for about a year but realized that they weren't really a compatible and broke up. It wasn't a bad break up and both agreed it wasn't working out, they are still friends. Someone else I know used Match I think? Or OKcupid, she was having piss poor luck and stopped using it but her profile was still listed and on her profile she had put her WoW character's name and server on there. This guy thought she was cute, made a character on her server and two years later they're getting married So, it can work but I think it depends really? Kind of like winning the lottery I guess.

[Number Girl 48]

My dad used dating sites and met a few girlfriends that way (he used Zoosk), but no lasting relationships ever formed and I have doubts that was even his intention.

[ramrod 108]

NEVER USE THEM.

In person connection beats everything.

[nekkichi 6043]

Ever since I turned 18 my mom keeps saying I should join a datingsite.

That's like telling you straight that you're hopeless, sorry.

[LIDL 692]

^ Not always, it actually based on the culture of a country or family or lifestyle really.

O.K, i'll start it here.

I am non scene person, i don't go to the gay clubs and stuffs.

I don't do flings and shit as well.

And i am too busy to go out at night for a date.

Since i always home late from work already too tired to think about dating.

So i only find a date from dating sites and it started from there.

And it's been great with me.

this will be tl;dr so please put your attention to it.

First up, if you like to join one, you need to get your mind straight.

Of what you are looking for from the websites.

Is it a possible future partner, or for casual sex or for friends with benefit or just a date.

And you need to be yourself, don't let anyone there dictate you anything.

90% of members in a dating sites are perverted sick fucks, young and old, so you have to be really careful.

And you need to know about the nature of a dating sites, that you are going to join, which the market they cater.

Because if you are looking for relationship but join in a dating sites for casual sex then tough luck you gonna find what you seek.

Though most dating sites are pretty universal, but still, not gonna hurt to find out.

If you got a message or two from someone asking for your nudes on their first message.

Leave them be. They do not worth your time. Unless that's what you're looking for.

Or if you are a polite person, write them nicely that you are not interested in what they have offered.

But don't be surprised if some of them lashing out at you after that.

But yes, there is chance for you to find Mr.Right over there.

This is not a myth or made up stories, cos i have experienced it myself and

seen many of my close friends did too.

Check his backgrounds extensively, because you don't want to be involved with a guy who have married or a drug dealer or a criminal or ex sex offender or an abusive person or a polite lad but controlling and a couch potato don't you?

And give it time, 3-6 month of writing is enough and after that if the guy didn't make

a further move to meet you in person then he may not be serious.

Don't take everything they said to you as it is, until you both meet and there is legit proofs.

If you about to shares face pictures, yes they may ask for more, just to be sure it's really you.

And if you about to send some by e-mail, DO NOT FORGET TO WATER MARK THEM!

Because you never know if those pics will be for making fake profile of yours or worst, placed upon some prostitution sites.

And then after 2-3 weeks, then you can share you numbers if he ask.

And see if he would call you and if he is a fun person to talk with.

If he is a street smart guy or if he is dull.

And if all the things the person said just regarding sex, and you're not comfort with the topic.

Then reminds them that.

And then see if he going to call you back for the second time in i a week time after the first.

If the person absent from doing that, then he may already give up.

Then it is time to start it from scratch again.

But if he calling you back again and again and again, then there might be higher interest with you.

And possibly he will ask for a meeting.

If that happen, on the first date, take either taser or pepper spray or both with you just in case.

Let your parents or your friends or relatives know where you are going to.

So they will know your latest spot.

And when you meet the person, call them again just to show the guy that he cannot mess with you.

And ALWAYS choose the spot that you both agreed on, and a crowded place.

Some guys will ask you the sex in the first night.

So do not be surprised if he will ask you that.

And if you re not the type that giving it down on the first date, tell them so.

Tell them you are not comfort for doing it yet or maybe if you like to keep it until you get married.

That is fair enough.

And if the first meeting going well, again,wait if he will call you again in a week time.

If he does, then he might find more interesting with you and think it could work.

If he doesn't then wish him luck and move on.

And think of what do you feel about the meeting, if the person is nice and interesting for you?

If the person connects with you in a lot of fields?

If you can start to trust him after the first meeting?

If not, then when he call back, if he/she did, then tell them so and get over it with.

And if all things went well, after 3 months, then this is when real him will show.

If all went even better after 3 months of dating, then you might be fit for each other.

Give it a year or two, and if all things went even much better, then see the possibility to

share a living under the same roofs if that is what you both wants.

You will never know a person wholly until you lived with them.

There will be so much discoveries, and you will learn so much about each other.

That you both have flaws and you both need to learn how to handle/deal with it.

Just remember, a relationship basically should give both party happiness.

And it should give each other positive effect, it should make two of you to be a better person.

And you must able to trust each other wholly,

because trust is one of the most important base that make relationship last.

If these things are non existent, don't waste your time, leave it right away.

All decent and healthy relationship will have clear direction where it gonna lead you to.

A companionship. If you didn't see this after 1-2 years of dating, then encourage him/her.

And there is still no actual moves, then maybe there is no go. So just leave it right away.

A decent grow up person will able to take a big decision and all the risks following it.

Just not ever deal with it all with/when/if either:

- A Married person

- Abusive person (either physically or verbally)

- He/She seems to keep comparing you with her exes

- None of your friends says a good thing about him/her

- He/She just say "I Love You" when he/she is drunk

- If he/she wrong calling your name, DANGEROUS!

- A druggie, trust me it is not worth it! Instead you will be influenced to be another junkie.

- A Gold digger. NEVER SEND MONEY OR ANYTHING until you know the person well. Even when you did, DO NOT BE TOO GENEROUS.

Never play with fire or else you'll get burn.

Some people are lucky enough to find their other half on first shot.

But many also have to try few times before they find the right person for them.

So don't lose hope if your first one fails. Keep trying, Little Pony!

After all 18 is such a young age, just enjoy the dating phase.

Don't get too serious with it, just learn about it.

What relationship truly is. Each relationship that fails is a lesson.

It will make you a better person so when you find the right person that will be your last,

you ready and mature enough to get it on with him/her.

This gonna took a lot of guts, cos everyone have different capacities for showing their feelings.

So just be brave and fierce, do not lose yourself just because you want to please somebody.

It is not worth it! Never will. You cannot stop being who you are because you're afraid.

So there it is, some basic guidance from me.

Hope this is helpful.

And i wish you good luck!

[Zeus 7997]

This would be advice from a 20 year old American that's in the same shoes that you are in.

I entertained the notion of starting a dating profile when I was 18...for about five seconds. Then a sudden realization swept over me: I am the product of millions of years of evolutionary success. Everyone and everything that came before me conceived their offspring in the same fashion - they went outside and meet their significant others in person! I spent so much of my time indoors that the reason why I was single was because I didn't know a lot of people. Sure, I knew a few people and I felt like I knew a lot but it wasn't until I got to college that things changed. You see, I went from quite possibly the biggest city in the United States to a small town in the middle of nowhere because I realized that what I needed to do was:

[*:jpyp329n] meet people
[*:jpyp329n] meet NEW people
[*:jpyp329n] meet DIFFERENT KINDS OF PEOPLE

I couldn't do this unless I went somewhere completely different and changed my surroundings. You are 18. You are young. You are beautiful (despite any protests you may launch at me). You have options. You have dreams. You can still DO THINGS. One of the most important things that I can recommend for any person to do is to try and spend a while in a new city, state or country. Why? Because when you go on and adapt to a new situation, the first thing humans do is to try and look for something or someone familiar. You should try to remove yourself form the familiar. Your goal is as I said before:

[*:jpyp329n] meet people
[*:jpyp329n] meet NEW people
[*:jpyp329n] meet DIFFERENT KINDS OF PEOPLE
[*:jpyp329n] meet AS MANY PEOPLE AS POSSIBLE

If you always do what you've always done you'll always get what you've always got. You want to make friends in different places. You want to meet their friends. You want to meet the friends of their friends. You want to do this because the more people you know, the more likely you are to meet people that you may have a romantic interest in. Don't worry about automatically meeting "the one" - just get out there and be as friendly and outgoing as you can possibly stand and the rest will work itself out in time. I can't promise that it will work by the end of the year. I can't promise that it will work in 2 years, or 5 years, or 10 years. What I can tell you is that the more people you meet, the more you learn about yourself, what you like, what you don't like, bad behaviors that you should look out for, good behaviors that you should look out for, etc.

You're young so I'm assuming that you will be attending college/university soon. THIS IS GREAT FOR MEETING PEOPLE! Everyone is nervous to meet people and everyone wants to make friends. Make as many new friends as possible. Redefine yourself. If there are things you don't like about yourself, change them! Get involved in a club if you find something you like to do. College/university is a melting pot of people who all come from different places and all have differing experiences. The most interesting part of university is that you will end up meeting people that live 15 to 30 minutes away from you that you would have never met if you stayed in your own neighborhood only. So close but yet so far (but not anymore). Plenty of people (but not all) meet their significant other at college. It's a statistical probability that it can work out!

But even if you contract the Zess Syndrome and you don't find anyone while you're at college it doesn't mean that you are a loser. It just means that you need to meet more people! Life doesn't end after college. Life doesn't end until you die and as long as you're living there's always the chance that you'll run into someone. Never give up. Every day you spend sitting alone crying to yourself about why you can't find someone is a day where you could have been out finding that person. Think about it.

And if there is one thing that I can say about looking for any potential partners, whether it be online or in person, it's to never ever ever ever ever have "expectations". What do I mean by "expectations"? Surely I don't mean to date the first person you meet because they have a slight passing interest in you. I mean don't go out there and say "I'm disregarding that person if they don't look as beautiful as Robert Pattinson". Be open to the kinds of people that you are both into and who may be into you. So many people that I know that are in relationships didn't get into a relationship with the make believe fairy tale person that they envisioned in their head - they got started talking to a person that they weren't completely sure about and somewhere along realized "holy crap, this person was what I was looking for/really needed/this person is worth keeping around".

Everything that I've said here applies whether or not you decide to go for a dating profile. Getting a dating profile isn't a sign that you are a loser and can't meet people. It's just you accepting that maybe you have limited avenues of personal interaction at the moment and that you know that you need to open another one to increase your odds. I didn't get one because my college is in a very small town and with no car, I'm pretty much stuck here. Anyone I'd meet on a dating profile would probably be at my campus and I should probably get out there and meet them. However, you are not in my situation. You are not me. You are you. This may work for you, but don't limit yourself to finding people online. There are plenty of suitable bachelors without dating site profiles that you won't meet if you only limit yourself to what you see on a website. Like ramrod said, personal interaction counts for a lot (even more these days!). Imagine if someone has poor hygiene habits or a controlling nature! These are the kinds of things you can pick up on immediately if you see them in person but not the kind of things you can necessarily tell from a page. You can learn a lot more about a person by meeting them in person than anything that you read over a dating profile page. Why? Because people are absolutely horrible at describing themselves to other people.

So good luck, stay confident, stay open, , and remember: YOU CAN DO THIS.

[Takadanobabaalien 3607]

In person connection beats everything.