Could you give me an opinion on this track I made?

[Fyrnia4Maya 41]

So I keep trying to figure out if I'm any good at this music making thing, so I make little electronic tracks. I would like to ask what you think about this one I just did

 

https://www.newgrounds.com/audio/listen/900499

 

Being as critical as possible, also I speak in Spanish so the description does too, thank you

[Peace Heavy mk II 7200]

My first initial thoughts:

 

-Intro was too long. I thought the small tonal change around 15 seconds was going to be the real start, but there's another 25 seconds of buildup after that.

 

-You do repeat a main theme a couple of times in the song, and perform a couple of slight variants on it here and there. However, it felt like a couple of sections were disjointed and random for the sake of diversity, rather than adding to the idea as a whole. For example, when your drum structure changes around 1:50 to be less syncopated; not a bad idea, but there's a lack of context since it happens, then shortly bleeds out of that pattern without going back to it or playing off of it again.

 

-You're good at writing buildup. I found myself anticipating the next section of the song because you led me to want to. However, I felt like a lot of times there wasn't significant payoff as a reward for that anticipation. (This could just be because this kind of bleak post-apocalyptic style isn't really my genre of choice. I'm trying to be objective about musical structure, rather than the content itself).

 

-That ending was really nice. The way the beeps build up akin to how a lot of EDM songs do their first drop, then end in a flatline was a nice touch. It shows you put some thought into how it should end, rather than just fading to grey or something less deliberate.

 

Edited December 27, 2019 by Peace Heavy mk II

[Fyrnia4Maya 41]

17 hours ago, Peace Heavy mk II said:

My first initial thoughts:

 

-Intro was too long. I thought the small tonal change around 15 seconds was going to be the real start, but there's another 25 seconds of buildup after that.

 

-You do repeat a main theme a couple of times in the song, and perform a couple of slight variants on it here and there. However, it felt like a couple of sections were disjointed and random for the sake of diversity, rather than adding to the idea as a whole. For example, when your drum structure changes around 1:50 to be less syncopated; not a bad idea, but there's a lack of context since it happens, then shortly bleeds out of that pattern without going back to it or playing off of it again.

 

-You're good at writing buildup. I found myself anticipating the next section of the song because you led me to want to. However, I felt like a lot of times there wasn't significant payoff as a reward for that anticipation. (This could just be because this kind of bleak post-apocalyptic style isn't really my genre of choice. I'm trying to be objective about musical structure, rather than the content itself).

 

-That ending was really nice. The way the beeps build up akin to how a lot of EDM songs do their first drop, then end in a flatline was a nice touch. It shows you put some thought into how it should end, rather than just fading to grey or something less deliberate.

 

Thank you for your kind impressions. I think you read my thoughts making the song perfectly, so I assume you're a witch

 

The intro was to be even longer, but I made it shorter. It also consumed most of my pcs ram because of the many effects used for the screaming

 

The variations are 100% the intention I had, just variation for the sake of not being repetitive and I never really wondered what I was adding. The parts you say feel disjointed are actually the separate options I wanted to use as the main melody and drum beat for the song when I wanted to do a more hopeful melody. The idea changed but I was too lazy not to use it

 

I only think about the build up because I really don't know how to do anything else in any of my proyects, so the song is basically many long build ups put together, I just don't know how to do anything else

 

Im really happy you enjoy the ending, it's by far the best part of the song for me and the reason why I decided to make it as good as I could, just so I could live up to the ending. The song is not finished though and probably never will be because I'm lazy... 

 

What I'm trying to say is that you read my mind with the song, your mind is really great at this. Again thank you for your answer