Ask the Girls~

[enyx 903]

13 hours ago, Shir0 said:

With this you can not lose 

The only one of those that I possess is messy hair, and I'm always told that's a negative >_>

[YuyoDrift 1540]

2 hours ago, hyura said:

so we can visualize the issue better

 

lol that's not daunting at all

 

If it will help you help, then I'll try.

[Komorebi 2193]

On 2/6/2016 at 5:09 PM, YuyoDrift said:

So I'm wondering ladies, Is this something I have to worry about? What is going through your mind when you see something like that? Feel free to crack jokes, or say I'm bragging, idc. I just really wanna know for my own sake. I'm not self conscious, but it does make me uncomfortable when women look. Should I just go back to wearing baggy clothing?

Well... that must be uncomfortable for you, both physically and emotionally. I guess what would go through my mind is the same that goes through guys minds when they see I have big boobs? 

 

On 3/6/2016 at 8:45 AM, Laris said:

it's pretty much like what guys have with big boobs, they either think "he got lucky" or "holy shit that's huge", nothing to worry about too much, but if you are really uncomfortable about it, look at androgynous fashion? they often wear long shirts or extra scarvs around their waists, some vk bands even do it

This proves my point XD
Try VK fashion for colder weather, I'm sure it would not only help with the issue but since you say you are rather skinny it would look great on you.

 

On 5/6/2016 at 7:18 AM, Nyasagi said:

Is there also any underwear for men that would keep it in place? Women have shaping underwear, so maybe there's something for men, too? Idk...

If there's bras to keep big boobs in place there must be boxers with a similar function...

 

On 6/6/2016 at 9:16 AM, YuyoDrift said:

Right. that's for me to decide haha. Yeah it's cool that I'm "so lucky", but I'd rather have women tell me I'm great to talk to and fun to be around instead. Some people don't think men can feel bad about being simply used as sex objects, but it's real folks.

I wish I would hear/read guys say this kind of things more often...

 

On 10/6/2016 at 9:07 AM, Tokage said:

Girls, is it true that once a month you lay one single perfectly white egg? I read it somewhere once..

Sometimes I lay two.

[ghost 2687]

I'm hoping someone can give me some insight on this.

 

I've met 3 girls within the span of this last year, all on different levels of intimacy. First girl I met, we spent a lot of time together, mutually confessed that we liked each other, but ultimately decided to hold off on a relationship because she was going through school. But like a week later, she told me she did want to and I told her that we should still wait. We talked a lot and spent a lot of time together and we were physically intimate through things like holding hands or even running our hands through each other's hair. Then, one week she says she just wants to be friends and she's not ready to be in a relationship. In this case, it also turned out she was deciding between me and another guy and decided to go with him, but point is that she said she had feelings, proceeded to communicate that through quality time and physical touch, and then does a 180.

 

Second girl I met on a dating app. First time we met up we had a good time. I wasn't super into her but I was down to meet her again. After our first date we exchanged numbers, texted here and there throughout the week and that led up to a second date. At this point we started to talk about past relationships etc. and it came up that she didn't want to go into a relationship right now, especially with her studying for optometry school. So I said that's fine but we still ended up meeting anyways for like another good 2 weeks and I think we both had a genuinely good time. We stopped seeing each eventually but we follow each other on instagram and it looks like she's dating someone now. No biggie, but I guess my initial thoughts were, "huh, she didn't feel like she could start a relationship with me but I guess this other person is fine?". Again, didn't really care but just something I noticed and, I mean, I didn't really go after her.

 

Now, this third girl I also met through a dating app. It was very short lived and we only stayed in touch for 1 week. But it started with us messaging back and forth. Initially it was casual stuff we talked about, but just a few messages later it really ramped up and we were both spending like 45 minutes each just to reply to one string of messages. And the thing was that it was both ways, her asking me questions and reacting and me doing the same back. The conversations were a balanced mix of surface-y stuff like tv shows, our life goals, and even spiritual aspirations. So I eventually asked her to dinner to which she said yes. When we met in person, it felt incredibly good. Really felt like we were vibing and we were very comfortable with each other. At one point she mentions that she's studying for dental school and that she probably will be pretty busy. I said that's fine, but that I wanted to know what she was looking for out of this then. She said that she wants to be involved in a serious relationship and I told her that's awesome, me too. So then I asked, well is this something you want to try and see where it goes and, again, she said yes. So, we made plans for a second date. 

 

The next day we were texting through out the day all the way until the evening before she went to bed. So I felt like she was still interested in me. At some points I messaged her first and other times she messaged me first. But then the next day, there was considerably less contact from her and I felt like something was off. She was hardly initiating with me and we stopped talking maybe around the afternoon. I just figured, ok she's busy and we just met so maybe I'll just give her some space. I'm not the only person she talks to and she did say she has a lot of studying to do. The whole weekend though she didn't text me. Me wanting to give her space, I didn't reach out at all and I just figured I'll see her at our date. Well, Sunday evening she sends me a text saying she's sorry but she thought about things and she just isn't looking for a serious relationship because school takes priority for her right now. I was kind of confused because she told me she wanted try things out with me and then she makes a 180.

 

So, on 3 separate occasions this year, I've met girls that I thought liked me, sent me signals that they did or straight up told me, but just a short while later decide they don't want to go into a relationship with me. Now, obviously you all don't know me, but I think I'm pretty down to earth. In these cases all 3 have actually told me they're very comfortable around me and that they usually don't warm up to people this quickly. But for whatever reason, something about me seems to have made these girls change their mind about me. I figure, like the first 2 examples, even if you're going through school, if you really like someone you'll probably want to still try to get to know them right? Even if it's just to keep them around so you can try again when you are ready. From my standpoint, a couple of these girls did show signs that they were very interested in me, whether it was through physical touch or frequent communication and interest about my day. But their change of heart is so sudden, not a gradual thing. 

 

So I guess my question to the girls then is, in general, are there reasons why girls might change their mind about someone even after showing signs of really liking them? Because I'm just not sure what to expect anymore and I'm just inclined to hate furthering one's education at this point.

Edited December 17, 2019 by ghost

[platy 3018]

@ghost I watched this lecture about a concept, especially present in today's world, where people are looking for something, find it, but end up settling for less so that

 

1. They avoid the disappointment/hurt of that thing not being what they've always dreamed of

2. So that they can continue dreaming about the perfect thing (and sort of victimise themselves for never attaining said thing) 

 

Unfortunately the lecture is in Portuguese and I can't find it anymore. But your experience reminded me of that. It's very frustrating I can imagine. You seem like a guy who's serious about his goals and who will work towards tangible things in life and I guess that scares people. They have this idea that they're looking for something serious, but when they find someone who is *actually* serious about a relationship then it's quite scary to them and even though you guys hit it off and have chemistry, it's just too real to solidify a relationship and easier to get swept away by a lesser option or just life.

 

That's how I interpret their behavior, but take my word with a grain of salt. Some people are just flaky as shit and/or don't understand their feelings, some just like attention. The excitement of meeting someone new wears off after sometime and it becomes a chore to keep talking to that individual. Then it's time to leave dating apps... Until you get cravings for that hit of dopamine that comes with the possibilities of a new person. 

 

[ghost 2687]

@platy - That's so interesting. I'd really love to listen to that. There's gotta be a somewhat similar video floating online somewhere.

 

This actually helps so much and I think it's maybe what might have happened with the last girl. She did have a huge life milestone she was trying to achieve. Yes, it is frustrating because I'm ready to get into something serious, but I think it's better that these prospects ended earlier rather than later so that my or their time wasn't wasted further. But it's already tough enough to find people that you think are compatible with you, so it's a bummer for sure when you find someone and they back out.

 

*ugh* I dunno, dating apps are so....like I never have high hopes or expectations using them and just try to meet people, but you're right. Once in a while you match with someone and you get excited because they seem promising. And yeah, I can't tell you how many times I've uninstalled dating apps, deleted accounts, re-made accounts, and get excited by the possibility of meeting someone. I guess I just don't know any other way right now to meet people in real life. I've tried asking people out in public and that usually ends up working out less, and I've tried looking for people in group settings like church, but I often don't find people I'm interested in + are available/are also into me. So, here I am in this vicious cycle. 

 

But I appreciate the answer. It gave me a lot of new insight on dating and just dating app behavior in general.