AmberKid

Whatever projects the members are with now...the era of D'espairsray is over.

http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_i ... 0316936527

I think it's sad they disband, yet I can understand their decision.

As a fan (7 of 11 years) I'm still not over the shock, even though it somehow was to be expected, IMO.

I was bullied in school for years.

First time in sixth grade, I was the new kid in class and immediately the whole class started picking on me. I was really shy back then. It was both, physical and mental/verbal bullying.

After changing schools again it paused...until I had to repeat 8th grade...again I was the new kid and got picked on really fast. Went like that for 3 years...pure hell. I was always an oddball...shy, silent, a bookworm. With what had happened to me earlier in my childhood...it almost destroyed me. Took me years to overcome it...I'm in my thirties now and still having issues with that part of my past sometimes. Luckily I have friends who understand and support me.

Mine is easy to explain, really.

Amber is my middle name (and has been my artists name as a DJ and radio host for years now) and when I needed a username for some forum on the net and "Amber" was taken in all variations possible, I just added "Kid" to it and my username was born.

A more poetic explanation would be to phrase is as "Child of Amber" as it's one of my favorite gems.

don't worry dear. you're not the only one. recently I've been admiring a guy who had a gf already. well i think its not wrong for me to fall in love with him,but still im trying my best to approach him someday by giving him a special birthday present next month. Not that I would hope for a love from him back though but who might knows? I don't know as well if he could make me as his gf someday.

I am at apoint in my life,where I want to leave behind all that has been burdening me until now. But to let go, I need a (male) partner, that can make me trust him more than any other person on this planet...and I fear most would give up.

There is one that I know though...that would surely have the patience needed...but he is so far away...he's on the other side of the globe and god knows when I will have a chance to at least talk to him.

I hate my life right now.

SADS fan here! *raises hand*

I was happy to see them return.

Kuroyume is THE LOVE though.

There is a recording on Youtube of half the show. Not sure if you missed all that much since it was just an introductory kind of thing. He basically just talked about his background, what he does, and played "Jade."

Really? Wow...kinda...lame. Hm, I might go and search for it when I got the time. Thx anyway.

D'espairsray - Dope

Actually the whole Monsters album on repeat...minus Abyss, though. Least fav track, so I removed it from the playlist.

GAH!

Started playing this past WE, cuz a friend persuaded me to.

Darn addictive...have to force myself not to game too much atm...work work work. Early morning hours are best for gaming.

Google: About 15000

Images: About 1790

XD

Did anyone else listen to Yoshiki Radio the other day? Opinions?

Dang, I totally missed it! Did anyone record it?

On a different topic...I'm pretty hyped about next month...got tickets for their show in Berlin. After 17 years of being a fan (yes, actually half my life) I will finally be able to see them in concert.

And if I'm really lucky...I might even have work to do there.

Been single most of my life. Had one serious relationship (lasted almost 5 years and I was the one ending it). Have been single since. Went through a lot of BS in my life and was a happy single for years, focusing on work and stuff...but every now and then I miss having someone close. Seeing couples all around and hating them, because they have what I don't.

But somehow I always fall for the wrong guys. Not that they treat me badly (can't ever be worse than what I've already went through) or something like that...I always fall for the ones I will never have.

Oh well...*shrugs*

I've the most amazing ppl on the net and some of them have become the best friends I've ever had IRL too.

I mean...how amazing is it to meet someone online (on twitter, actually) and connecting so deeply that a few months later he crosses half of the globe to visit?

Exactly that happened to me. He's an amazing friend and last winter I spent the most awesomest craziest birthday with him. Me and my bestie cried bitter tears when he left...and what can I say...5 months of contact strictly over the net...he's back to spend all summer with us!

So net-friends can turn into IRL friends ande vice versa. For me, there isn't much of a difference. When it comes to trusting ppl, I follow my instinct...and it doesn't really matter, if that person is sitting next to me or on a different continent.

I am pretty darn sure I remember you then XD

Cool!

As for my own business, hopefully it will happen eventually, I want to get some experience in the business world first before I go ahead and start my own company.

*nods* I understand. Was the same with me, I worked for other ppl before and learned lots before I took this step. Luckily I have friends with A LOT more experience, who help me out when I need advice. And so far everything goes well.

I mean...I'm 34 now, studied media science, worked in retail, started journalism on a whim & travelled half of Europe for interviews (still do XD)...and now I started my own fashion brand, fulfilling one of my childhood dreams to be a designer.

And am starting a music promotion agency on the side as well. XD

Sorry I can't say I recall you, though your username does seem familiar. Anyway welcome back. It's good to see you found the forum again.

And congrats on being your own boss and having your radio show. It's always been a fantasy of mine to start a radio show that plays rock or jrock where I live. Especially since all the radio station where I live (in NYC) play mainstream crap and there's only one mediocre rock station.

I started radio at university...and somehow took off from there. I have two formats now, one for pop, one for rock. It's a good feeling to introduce ppl to music from Asia...especially ppl that otherwise would never listen to it.

awesome! ;D

Welcome back! I'm not sure if I remember you, but your username definitely has a vague ring to it. ;P

Hehe...thanks! I've pulled back into lurkdom for quite some time, so no worries!

That's awesome! I hope to be in that position eventually.

Did you used to have the same avatar as well? The name rings a bell, but the avatar even more so.

Just never give up on chasing your dreams. It's hard work, but it's definitely worth the strain.

As for my avatar...yes, I had a similar one back then. Always Karyu on my userpic...has a special meaning for me.

Today is somehow a really f***ed up day. Talk about emotional rollercoaster.

Stress getting to me. 3 jobs to manage and a household to keep up. Ppl critisizing me out of the blue. Fight with my bestie (who is also my flatmate).

Cold and empty bed. Bestie cuddling with someone else (also a friend of mine).

Missing HIM.

Show to run in bit more than an hour.

Screw this day.

I have a couple of bands & musicians following me on twitter...including Dir en grey, Yoshiki, girugämesh and some indie bands, DJs and such.

Comes with the job when you do radio...but it's funny nonetheless.

Heyho!

Soooooo...I finally found my way here. Has been a while.

Over at TW I used to be pretty active in a couple of threads...some peeps might remeber me from mainly the D'espairsray thread, I guess...I kept my old username, btw.

Life has changed for me, from a disenchanted university student to my own boss with a small brand and my own radio show.

So...anyone here still knows me? Guess not.