only had a relationship for 6 months at age 21, worst experience of my life emotionally as i couldn't really handle emotional stuff
i'm avoidant of romantic relationship in general but i got curious to try it out with someone i liked
i wouldn't really dare to try it out if i wasn't curious and already like the person
i can't really blame anyone but myself for having emotional problems along the way as everything was very new to me and it all felt fake and weird as almost everything was very one sided. he fell for me hard but i couldn't reciprocate it back
i couldn't really handle someone loving me i guess since i can't find any logic in it for me to understand and almost always in panic mode
nothing really big happened but i just couldnt really handle relationship overall, i already have trouble maintaining friendships so it only make sense for my romantic endeavors to also fall apart. i'm too avoidant and too distant to engage anything personal and emotional
reasons also why i like to hang out with people who i consider just acquaintances. we don't see often as much but have time to for fun and activities that doesn't involve anything about ourselves. just us doing stuff together with our hobbies and talking about common interests