Hi, your translation is wonderful.
I'm Japanese, so I'll point out one romaji mistake and answer Note 1.
[Romaji]
Sukui nikui risou kana
↓
Sukui *gatai* risou kana
[Note 1]
意識はあるの
という無意識
is one sentence, not two sentence.
"意識はあるの" is the phrase someone said, but I'm not sure who said. Probably woman.
"意識はあるの" という 無意識
"の" is colloquial expression used by Women generally and it is no meaning.
You can ignore it in the context like this basically when you translate it into English.
So you can replace the sentence with
"意識はある" という 無意識
I'm not fluent English speaker, so I cannot translate it into clear English.
The following is my translation.
意識はあるのという無意識
The unconciousness of "I'm councious"
or
Uncounciousness of counciousness
