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So... recently, I've been diagnosed with slight autism (Asperger's syndrome). I read quickly some of the comments before writing my own and was surprised, since there are more autists here than I expected. Good to know that I'm (we're) not alone.

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I've got mild facial agnosia, which has made being a VK fan really awkward, because I have been accused of being racist because I can't recognise some bandomen in different outfits or hairstyles, or even recognise their faces in general. One girl who I am longer on speaking terms with said to me "What, do you think all Asians look the same?! Are you racist!?".  Not a lot of things really get to me, especially being called racist when I'm not... But that did. It really hurts in all honesty because I love VK and I spend extra time that other people don't trying to being able to discern and learn bandomen's faces because I care about them as people. It sucks. It really does. With some, they have such a distinct face shape where I can easily tell them apart. With others, I can be a fan for years and still not be able to tell the vocalist from the guitarist unless they are holding their instruments or are colour coded. I always have names floating around in my head but I have a hard time putting them to faces--the inverse of how everyone I've met is bad with names but good with faces. People in my everyday life might think that I don't care about them because I confused them for someone else but that's totally not the case! That's why I try to tell people about it. 

 

I'm thankfully such a laid back person that I'm immune to anxiety, but I have had my tackles with depression. Runs in the family, I do believe. I'll spare you the details but it got bad. I probably wouldn't be writing this post in another timeline, if you catch my drift. But I'm glad I'm still breathing. Really, despite all the craziness of the world right now. I got through that mini-black hole that sucked the life out of me through the inside out and here I am--alive. Feeling. And feeling pretty good at the moment. I hope I can remember these thoughts and memories if the black hole ever swallows me up again.

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27 minutes ago, Total Saikou said:

I've got mild facial agnosia, which has made being a VK fan really awkward, because I have been accused of being racist because I can't recognise some bandomen in different outfits or hairstyles, or even recognise their faces in general. One girl who I am longer on speaking terms with said to me "What, do you think all Asians look the same?! Are you racist!?".  Not a lot of things really get to me, especially being called racist when I'm not... But that did. It really hurts in all honesty because I love VK and I spend extra time that other people don't trying to being able to discern and learn bandomen's faces because I care about them as people. It sucks. It really does. With some, they have such a distinct face shape where I can easily tell them apart. With others, I can be a fan for years and still not be able to tell the vocalist from the guitarist unless they are holding their instruments or are colour coded. I always have names floating around in my head but I have a hard time putting them to faces--the inverse of how everyone I've met is bad with names but good with faces. People in my everyday life might think that I don't care about them because I confused them for someone else but that's totally not the case! That's why I try to tell people about it. 

 

I'm thankfully such a laid back person that I'm immune to anxiety, but I have had my tackles with depression. Runs in the family, I do believe. I'll spare you the details but it got bad. I probably wouldn't be writing this post in another timeline, if you catch my drift. But I'm glad I'm still breathing. Really, despite all the craziness of the world right now. I got through that mini-black hole that sucked the life out of me through the inside out and here I am--alive. Feeling. And feeling pretty good at the moment. I hope I can remember these thoughts and memories if the black hole ever swallows me up again.

People are fucking ridiculous.

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2 minutes ago, secret_no_03 said:

People are fucking ridiculous.

Yeah, I don't talk to her anymore for a reason. She was really hard on the social justice stuff, to the point of it being basically offensive to minorities (me again, when she said I am merely a "tanned white person"--like OK, cool, I wish the people who've called me out for being "too dark" to be white or who asked me "what I am" held the same view). I understand that there are harmful stereotypes surrounding East Asian people appearing as indistinguishable and as the same, but even if I was perpetuating the stereotype, name calling does not help anyone nor their beliefs look credible. Oh... I wish I could've told her that before I cut ties.

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6 minutes ago, Total Saikou said:

Yeah, I don't talk to her anymore for a reason. She was really hard on the social justice stuff, to the point of it being basically offensive to minorities (me again, when she said I am merely a "tanned white person"--like OK, cool, I wish the people who've called me out for being "too dark" to be white or who asked me "what I am" held the same view). I understand that there are harmful stereotypes surrounding East Asian people appearing as indistinguishable and as the same, but even if I was perpetuating the stereotype, name calling does not help anyone nor their beliefs look credible. Oh... I wish I could've told her that before I cut ties.

It's very hard to get through to people who are a part of that cult. 😔

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Apologies for the necrobumps (if it bothers anyone?)

 

I have a couple of conditions, although the ironic thing to me is I didn't consider any of these as pertinent to this thread until suddenly. I have asperger's syndrome, which I don't honestly consider a disability, but more an abnormality. The reason I say this is because most of the negative characteristics associated with asperger's can be overcome with training, and many neurotypical may not be aware to the full extent of it, and might succumb to the tendency of believing that autistic people are cognitively capable than neurotypical people which annoys me lol

 

I have tinnitus, from listening to so much damn vk and metal/rock music at loud volume. I've always preferred my music loud because it's more euphoric for me. I get incredibly amped up by music and I feel like at a young age I should have gotten myself involved with bands. Sappy ballads also break me, and I often cry when I listen to them because of how emotionally involved I am with music. I listen to ballads at a loud volume too, but rock and metal typically at 100db easily, and I'll listen for many hours a day. Music is absolutely my biggest drug.

 

I also have a rare condition called cholinergic urticaria which causes me to 'break out' in hives when my body temperature rises from energy exertion (think sweating as an example). This one annoys me, because if I go a few days without exercise (I don't lol) the histamine levels in my body build up to where if I exert energy the hives will be incredibly uncomfortable, and can feel like I'm being stung by a bunch of bees for around 5 minutes straight. It's not fun at all, so I exercise every day in part to keep that from being an issue.

 

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When I was little I never really talked 

So a lot of people thought I was retarded I always had a grey Teddy bear which I never let go and I still don't talk much at the ripe age of 25 

It went so far as to a full forced session of psychosis, hypnosis, and sedation which lasted a good 1 and a half hour

 

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Not Sure But...

Though I was never properly diagnosed actually (got every kinda mental health diagnosis from ages 6 to 26 making me an official Kawaii Menhera Freak tm just none of it was what I suspect) there is now a high suspicion in me that I may be (hf) autistic (why? because... everything. Every symptom. Ever. + genetics.) however it seems that autism nowadays (since DSM V ...) is a very blurry diagnosis with eugenistic purposes (just like when Hans Asperger the nazi first described it. Seriously ...) that can only be diagnosed in males, sometimes perfectly functional males even, perhaps a way of justifying some males' "males will be males" behaviors. I am sincerely deeply annoyed at how no one takes me seriously on this and I am always walking on eggshells when talking about it to doctors so this is also a "venting" thing lol (went to another psychiatrist yesterday and now I'm on carbamazepine, which makes me psychologically shitty and dizzy ; turns out I'll probably be better off getting a medical degree bc that'll take less time than finding a doctor who won't avoid the subject of diagnosing autism in girls altogether. Or just, y'know, ask on Facebook "hey guys do y'all think I may be autistic?" which I'm p sure 9 out of 10 colleagues in my psych bachelor would say "oh yes" to) - so anyway with autism often comes depression and also epilepsy and migraines all of which I display hooray ; I also Can't Play 3D Action games (not talking anything too complex here I mean I had to call it quits on Kingdom Hearts and Shin Megami Tensei: Imagine a while ago; SMT Imagine was online so you can bet I wasn't making that up also thanks MGS for stealth ..........) though I have yet to find out if it's anything related to my shitty brain or...  

 

Venting Aside (I'm psychologically unwell, dizzy and angry now), I probably have respiratory issues still undiagnosed (nothing big though) and happen to have a weird syndrom in which I ave 1 kidney from birth so selling a kidney is a no-no all of which aren't exactly "disabilities" just, well, conditions.

 

(CLEARLY IM JUST VENTING HERE. /hate everything)  

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I have endometriosis which comes with a variety of crippling things such as sciatica and IBS. Compared to other sufferers of the condition, I have it really good. But it's still debilitating. Mental health is a whole other story, no diagnosis of anything but thanks to therapy I can lead a fairly normal life (I think) 

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