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Since when the main reason to move to Japan isn't visual kei events...

I'm not sure about her feelings for me, but she's my reason to live... I can't be myself, I want to die, I'm tired of having suicidal thoughts, but I'll keep my promise, I swear. 

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Just as my new earlobe piercing that I've been having a bit of trouble with was starting to look better I accidentally punched it with my hand and it started bleeding and being sore again lol. Good job me. I'm so incredibly clumsy, I'm constantly causing trouble for myself... I should probably just wrap myself in bubble wrap to protect me from myself.

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August was pretty decent, even tho there was a huge set back after one LDR went horrible I managed to pull through and saw Marilyn Manson which was honestly the happiest and most comfortable I have even been with my self. Honestly I know that is weird and silly, but it is so hard to feel that good when everyone around you and everyone online is so toxic. I made a good friends with someone else from that same community and opened up about my ex to him and how badly it set me back and such. Started feeling feels for him and took me about a month to get comfortable enough to open up about it. Another LDR but man it is working out great and he really is helping me recover from a lot of things and such. 

I thought it was only going to get better but not even 75% recovered from the set back, a good friend of mine ghost me for about a week. This friend has been there for me for little over 4 years and yeah they were an online friend but it worked so well. Open and honest about everything, I gave them all I could. I reached out best I could when they went quiet. Next thing you know it in my discord server my bf and I are just talking joking around, they come in and join us. Then they suddenly call us self absorbed and say they didn't want to put up with us. We were fucking clueless. So there I am, feeling like a fucking bitch for god doesn't even fucking know what, abandoned, cold, like I got no one again. Just how I felt after my ex just abandoned me after telling me will never leave or hurt me but BAM suddenly he's gone and ignores me.  Causing me to be very skeptical again, but there is not much I can do about it. I hope everything will finally stable out with no more set backs.

 

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4 minutes ago, Kelrya said:

Nekkichi I promise it’s okay to like things. You won’t even lose any internet edgelord points. Just give it a try buddy.

I found it rill interesting how the hetties get a pass on ad-hominem shitposting that has nothing to do with the threads they reply to :')

 

(am I surprised at this point? fuck no.)

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The American Republican Party should fuck off all the way to Pluto. (re: Kavanaugh hearing, mostly)

 

I have been a victim of "minor" sexual assaults. I have never told anybody about these incidents. I fully understand why women who were victims of far worse choose not to speak up. Looking at the results of that shit hearing, I fully understand why women will refuse to speak up in the future about any political appointee. It doesn't fucking matter to the Republicans/conservatives. "How dare you ruin this good man's reputation?" "I knew Brett in high school, he didn't rape me, so he couldn't possibly have raped somebody else!" "Are you SURE it was him? Maybe it was somebody who looked like him." "We can't ruin his life because of one accusation with no evidence. Oh, there are three accusations? We can't ruin his life because of three accusations with no evidence." "THIS IS A SHAM, THE DEMOCRATS ARE DESPERATE, THEY ARE PAYING THESE WOMEN TO MAKE UP STORIES #SOROS!!!!"

 

Fuck right off. Need I remind you that this is essentially a job interview, not a criminal trial? If a dude was applying to flip burgers at McDonald's, he'd be disqualified in a heartbeat. Somehow, a dude applying for Supreme Court Justice (or, hell, dude applying for President) is held to lower standards. i.e. NO STANDARDS EXCEPT HE'S GONNA TOE THE REPUBLICAN LINE. The very least you could do is delay the confirmation vote and allow the FBI to investigate. But no, we can't have that either.

 

It's a good thing I'm Canadian and will probably not have to worry about abortion suddenly becoming illegal. Or watching the country descend into fascism. Never say never, though. I see that cancer spreading.

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I can't stop crying, I hate this sick feeling when you're sure that the only person you need never will talk to you as sweet and friendly as before... I want her support, it's not that difficult... but it seems it is... 

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I'd heard that the voice acting for the main character from Black Clover was annoying, but Jesus, he sounds like an angry parrot. I went in expecting it to be bad, but there's no preparing for how over the top it is.

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In regards to the Bill Cosby fiasco...America has never been a friend to so-called 'African Americans'.  That's nothing new.  And while it's definitely an important issue - it's not the issue at hand here. I think the quotes below accurately sum up where our focus should be:

 

Regarding the conviction of Bill Cosby…In our collective trauma at the hands of America, I think we often forget about the individual traumas that comprise our collective...



So, while we bemoan the unfairness in the American justice system, we need to take a harder look at the pervasively systemic injustice in our homes, communities, school, and places of worship. Somebody is doing this shit. Our homies, brothers, uncles, fathers, and grandfathers are harming our daughters, sons, nieces, and nephews. And they are growing up to transfer this trauma onto those that follow. Much like the 2nd grader who I had to beg his foster parent to keep him after he was accused of doing inappropriate “wrestling moves” on his younger siblings. Take a wild guess why he was in foster care in the first place. She rebuffed my pleas, understandably desiring to protect her other wards. That was years ago and I don’t know what happened to him, but I suspect that we will find out at some point. I fear that he will appear on some news show or on Spot News; that his trauma will manifest in harming someone else because we neglected to support him when he showed us his pain...much like Laquan McDonald. Yeah, you probably didn’t know that Laquan was repeatedly sexually assaulted from an early age by family members and in foster care. He didn’t have the chance to tell Jason Van Dyke about his trauma before he was murdered. But I bet numerous teachers, social workers, security guards, administrators and other adults missed the signs; much like the ones on that bridge. They ignored the IEPs and behavioral issues, the same issues that are being used to smear him in court today. They are all complicit. The justice system will likely fail him but we all failed him and many like him for years. We fail our children, our traumatized boys and girls every day…I doubt that any of them are watching the shit show that Kavanaugh’s confirmation hearing has become, but they’re watching you. They’re watching you make light of and excuse Bill Cosby’s admitted transgressions. And they would rather jump off of a bridge than come to you with their pain because you may not understand or care, and that hurts just as bad as whoever hurt them first…

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One thing that I've always had validated time-and-time again, is how your enjoyment of music is subjective, like REALLY subjective.

 

My father raved on about how talented Ed Sheeran was live w/ loopers (which he is) , so I tried to introduce him to some Jacob Collier live stuff that leans more toward jazz, poly-rhythms, harmonies, etc. but still emotional > technical in order to not intimidate him... He was absolutely having none of that, lmao.

 

I realize I've expanded my music "comfort-zone" to the point where I forget that other people just want to stay in their grotto, which is totally fine. There are still a lot of genres that I'm not super versed with either.

 

...but then he wonders why I've always been so secretive about some of the music I listen to...maybe so I spare him from calling that "stupid" too... ; _ ; 

Edited by colorfuljinsei

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On 9/28/2018 at 11:35 AM, peffy said:

"THIS IS A SHAM, THE DEMOCRATS ARE DESPERATE, THEY ARE PAYING THESE WOMEN TO MAKE UP STORIES #SOROS!!!!"

So I totally made up that quote. But, here is a thing that just happened:

 

 

The FBI investigation happened too, but by god that is the most suspicious-looking "SHAM" investigation I have seen. I'll be very surprised if Kavanaugh does not get confirmed tomorrow.

 

Even if the sexual assault allegations are false, the lengths Kavanaugh went to to defend himself should absolutely disqualify him. Obvious lying under oath, dodging the simple question "Have you ever been drunk?" while disrespecting the female Democrat senator asking it, and shouting conspiracy theories about Democrats "wanting revenge for the Clintons" in his OPENING FUCKING STATEMENT?!?!?

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Pertaining to Kavanaugh, the user PoppinKREAM does a great job at compiling sources:

 

It's a constant shit-show over here with Trump Administration. Most Republicans have completely thrown out any semblance of thoughtfulness for "party loyalty" & job security. The president, aside from his glaring ineptitude, is a liar and propagandist (*cough* and possibly a criminal *cough*). Rather than gutting the swamp, he's implemented a sewer full of like-minded (rather, like-mindless) cronies. While I don't consider myself completely versed in politics (as most people shouldn't, tbh), I recognize that this isn't how we should be running this country. Too bad, there are a ton of closet-racists, not so closeted anymore, that would rather adhere to "Deep-State" conspiracy theories than spare some thought to what's really going on.

 

On a personal note, it's become such a day-to-day thing to where I have to space out the times I read the news. The past nearly-2 years has been so information-dense, an entire college class could be based off the Trump Administration. I've literally lost friends b/c of their closet-racism coming out in the open (not towards me, but those of darker pigmentation.) I just want it to stop ;_;. That's why everyone needs to GET OUT AND VOTE.

Edited by colorfuljinsei

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i also dislike how all the media's spotlight is on 3-4 "swing voters", as if being a republican and having the ability to independently review the facts + the moral conscience to take a stand to do what you believe is the right thing are mutually exclusive. as much as politician these days (regrettably) vote in lockstep, i'm sure this is a hard vote for many republican senators too given how blatantly flawed a SCOTUS candidate kavanaugh is (like, even for conservatives, you've got to be in ultra-crazyland to actually believe hand on heart that he's the best conservative judge out there). but to always expect your colleague to do the right thing on your behalf while gleefully casting the politically expedient vote is just.. cowardly.

 

also, i haven't seen this in the media much: but i've been wondering what john roberts (the chief justice) is thinking watching all of this unfolding. his jurisprudence is conservative, but he's obsessed with preserving the legacy of the court and would hate for the supreme court to be viewed as some sort of ideological apparatus (most famously: he decided to join the liberal justices to vote 5-4 against repealing obamacare through a curious technicality on taxation, which scholars interpreted as his unorthodox way of protecting the supreme court from being seen as a partisan institution).  it would be interesting to see if he drifts further left to become more of a swing vote if kavanaugh is confirmed.

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I saw this recently on twitter, in regards to the #WomenTakeaKnee and #TakeAKneeForWomen hashtags spawned in backlash to the Kavanuagh nomination.

 

JpqM1JF.jpg

 

I understand where he's coming from. I'm sure these women mean well, but their methods are certainly in want of tact and general consideration. For so-called blacks, our struggles have continually been co-opted, usurped, subverted, and perverted by groups outside of us throughout our history in this land. And in light of that, it does come off as opportunistic, and even disrespectful, of white liberal women to try and append their movement onto ours - especially when they've never had any 'skin in the game' concerning our plight. Now that's not to denigrate the #metoo movement at all - it's simply to make a distinction. These are two separate issues, and two separate movements.

 

With that said, however; I personally think that protesting is a waste of time - especially for the so-called Negro. We've continually supplicated to a nation that has practically shown no regard for us over nearly 400 years. Our time and energy would be better spent taking redemptive action for and towards our own, rather than endlessly trying to convince others of our humanity.

 

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kinda sad to say that Clarence Clarity's Think: Peace and mewithoutYou's untitled album have both already bumped TIW off my playlist. . . . they're both just THAT good

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